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genetticrat

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Date Signed Up:6/12/2011
Last Login:5/04/2015
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#25413
Highest Comment Rank:#4105
Comment Thumbs: 1483 total,  1568 ,  85
Content Level Progress: 6.77% (4/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 23% (23/100)
Level 212 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 213 Comments: Comedic Genius
Subscribers:0
Total Comments Made:357
FJ Points:1266

latest user's comments

#15 - I had both of those! 01/22/2015 on childhood memories 0
#14 - Comment deleted 01/12/2015 on Not very funny. OC 0
#117 - I am a lab rat. 01/11/2015 on Im currently on your mashed... 0
#38 - Nah, I saw it as green when I was first introduced in 2008  [+] (1 new reply) 01/10/2015 on Confession 0
#41 - fhfiction (01/11/2015) [-]
that's it, knew it was an even number
#94 - Microwaving bacon is not fine! Not fine at all!  [+] (5 new replies) 01/10/2015 on Cooking Tips +1
#99 - bazda (01/11/2015) [-]
Yes it is. It's way faster, and it's a lot easier to get crispy without burning it.
User avatar #166 - lurg (01/11/2015) [-]
pan fry bacon=oil to cook potato's and eggs in
#192 - bazda (01/11/2015) [-]
That's true, and I've done it from time to time myself, but personally I find that the bacon leaves a little bit too much grease for my tastes.
User avatar #195 - lurg (01/11/2015) [-]
sure absolutely agree thats why its a rare treat
#145 - heartlessrobot (01/11/2015) [-]
Crispy Bacon is a mistake.
Just like people that enjoy crispy bacon.
#20 - This is the best sign so far, and I quote: "Lips." 01/05/2015 on Page 206 0
#6 - "He sighed, and the bitterness of bile rose into his thro… 12/31/2014 on Sex jokes 0
#9 - One of my best friends says I remind her of her grandpa. 12/24/2014 on Mother of god.. +3
#61 - "No, not exactly." It actually fits. 12/20/2014 on You love life 0
#174 - Green all the way. With that I could discretely fly, spy, trav… 12/13/2014 on Choice game 0
#23 - This is what I did the other day. I looked in the fridge becau…  [+] (1 new reply) 12/13/2014 on When... +1
#24 - flaviennealienne (12/14/2014) [-]
#8 - >Opens fridge >"Shoes! That's what I was looki…  [+] (3 new replies) 12/13/2014 on When... +5
#14 - flaviennealienne (12/13/2014) [-]
It's scary how accurate that is, my mother has lost her keys before and I found them in the refrigerator.
User avatar #23 - genetticrat (12/13/2014) [-]
This is what I did the other day. I looked in the fridge because I knew I was looking for something, then remembered I was looking for shoes.
My shoes were not in the fridge.
#24 - flaviennealienne (12/14/2014) [-]
#90 - **genetticrat used "*roll Simple Melee Weapon*"** **genetti… 12/13/2014 on sleep tight pizza +1
#1625 - **genetticrat used "*roll Simple Melee Weapon*"** **genetti… 12/13/2014 on New Roll Types 0
#1624 - *roll simple melee weapon*  [+] (1 new reply) 12/13/2014 on New Roll Types 0
User avatar #1625 - genetticrat (12/13/2014) [-]
**genetticrat used "*roll Simple Melee Weapon*"**
**genetticrat rolls Sickle**
#174 - And a good day to you as well pal.  [+] (1 new reply) 11/23/2014 on gugek's profile 0
User avatar #181 - gugek (11/24/2014) [-]
Thanks homie
#57 - It's alright, I thought it was funny. 11/23/2014 on Bad blowjob 0
#3 - I'm afraid that someday someone will be giving me a blowjob an…  [+] (11 new replies) 11/22/2014 on Bad blowjob +60
User avatar #45 - hauntzor (11/23/2014) [-]
I have this one irrational fear about someone giving me a blowjob and then LITERALLY giving me a blowjob. They'll be sucking me off one minute and then they'll literally blow air into my peehole and cause an internal rupture.

It freaks me out every time I think about it.
User avatar #18 - bjornkrage (11/22/2014) [-]
i'm afraid that one day i'll get a blowjob
User avatar #17 - burningsmurfs (11/22/2014) [-]
It can be frightening, some girls are told it is sexy to use teeth or some guys actually like it or something. Be sure to let yours know that you don't like it or you might get a nasty surprise and end up with a horrible new years story like me.
User avatar #30 - pumkinz (11/23/2014) [-]
*roll image* go on...
User avatar #35 - burningsmurfs (11/23/2014) [-]
What the new year's story?
User avatar #51 - pumkinz (11/23/2014) [-]
yeah
#56 - burningsmurfs (11/23/2014) [-]
Well new years of 2000 the big Y2K scare was going on. I am partying with my buddy and his girlfriend and their friend who had a giant crush on me.

By the time the ball is dropping I am convinced for some reason drugs and alcohol that the television is going to explode so I am crawling along the floor and go into the first room I see and climb into the bed.

Of course it happens to be the crazy girls bedroom and a few minutes later she walks in but I am pretty out of it. Next thing I know I wake up to my dangly bits in her mouth.

I sit there for a second going well.....might as well see how good she is its already this far, but before long she kept trying teeth on it and for some reason I decide the best way to make her stop is to lean over the side of her bed and projectile vomit all over her wall and floor.

At this point my friends girlfriend swings the door open with him right behind her since she is drunk and he is sober as he had to watch the kids. Her jaw drops and he says OH SHIT and starts laughing and I reach for them as if to say help me!!! (I realize later they thought I was offering them to join and they took off).

She finally realizes something happened and stops and tries to ignore it and tries to climb on top of me and I roll her off of me since she is pretty wasted too. She crawls into the bathroom and a few minutes later I hear a BANG *CRACK*.

The next day apparently I find out she fell and broke her nose on the toilet and then told her parents she may have had sex with me and might need a morning after pill. Sorting that all out sucked balls but my friend let me borrow Donkey Kong Country that night so all in all it turned out pretty sweet aside from killer tvs toothy blowjobs and psycho women.

No relevant images have a random file from my folder.
#32 - Ken M (11/23/2014) [-]
**anonymous rolled image** haha, faget
#33 - pumkinz (11/23/2014) [-]
#7 - osboom (11/22/2014) [-]
you don't have to be afraid then
sorry m8, had to do it
User avatar #57 - genetticrat (11/23/2014) [-]
It's alright, I thought it was funny.
#25 - I didn't even notice when my name started going blue. I didn't… 11/22/2014 on when your name start... 0
#9 - "This ain't mah super suit."  [+] (2 new replies) 11/19/2014 on People of waltm.... WTF +22
#12 - omegadynasty (11/19/2014) [-]
#11 - aphoticnefelibata (11/19/2014) [-]
Yes~
#82 - Start rolling and ask someone their AC or some other stat, fre… 11/19/2014 on RPG funnies 2.0 +1
#17 - Yes, yes I am. The Iron, The Switch, and The Broom Closet. 11/19/2014 on I must try +1
#1 - Wait that ****** actually a thing? I thought that book …  [+] (3 new replies) 11/18/2014 on I must try +1
#11 - Ken M (11/18/2014) [-]
Are you talking about that Jiggy McCue book?
User avatar #17 - genetticrat (11/19/2014) [-]
Yes, yes I am. The Iron, The Switch, and The Broom Closet.
User avatar #2 - Nihatclodra (11/18/2014) [-]
it's a real thing.
#7 - My sister's been getting me the microbes for two years now. 11/18/2014 on Cool shit 0
#31 - INVISIBILITY! 11/15/2014 on WE'RE FUCKED. 0

items

Total unique items point value: 2050 / Total items point value: 2450
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User avatar #5 - gugek (11/22/2014) [-]
Good morning! I hope you have a fantastic day my friend .
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