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Rank #25366 on CommentsLevel 233 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz
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|#136 - You caught me. I've got ovaries between my legs and whatever w… [+] (1 new reply)||11/02/2013 on the 2nd||+1|
|#134 - I'd rather you didn't actually [+] (2 new replies)||11/02/2013 on the 2nd||0|
|#66 - Like this but can get all gnarly and **** …||11/02/2013 on Jesus Christ||0|
|#14 - What's red, slimy and crawling up a woman's leg? A ho…||11/02/2013 on Funnyjunk sure knows some...||+1|
|#62 - Fuuuuuck that sounds awful. what's scar tissue like … [+] (2 new replies)||11/02/2013 on Jesus Christ||0|
|#8 - It just sucks as I'm ill at the moment and I really don't fanc…||11/02/2013 on College||0|
|#50 - It was like 14 years ago, I don't remember much of the pain ju… [+] (1 new reply)||11/02/2013 on Jesus Christ||+1|
|#5 - I'm studying nursing so I can only have 9 absences a year … [+] (3 new replies)||11/02/2013 on College||0|
|#45 - I know. Thank god for ovaries Still hurt like a bitch though||11/02/2013 on Jesus Christ||+1|
|#42 - Luckily no, my hymen was fine, higher up was damaged. … [+] (3 new replies)||11/02/2013 on Jesus Christ||+2|
|#1 - Picture||11/02/2013 on This makes me feel good in...||0|
|#15 - But... I just changed the batteries in my vibrator. [+] (11 new replies)||11/02/2013 on the 2nd||+22|
|#32 - > Be me, female age 4 > Having a bath with friend … [+] (12 new replies)||11/02/2013 on Jesus Christ||+21|
#61 - rossthomson (11/02/2013) [-]
Speaking of genital mutilation
> Be me, age 5
> Chilling in class
> "Hey ****, it's your turn to practice reading in the library!"
> Run quick as a whistle through the halls
> Run In the halls
> >Running in the halls
> School has a huge sliding door that separates the main hall lined with classrooms from the library.
> Sliding door is supported in the centre and slides horizontally to vertically, and in these days the tip of the vertical thing was sharp as a blade.
> Meanwhile i'm still in my "gottagofast readingisfun full on derpmode, and fail to notice the vertical wall of death that is currently facing me.
> Decide to go full-on matrix mode on that bitch and angle myself so that my lower body is sticking out in front of my upper body.
> Close the distance fast by pelvis-thrusting right into the sliding door with the power of a thousand suns.
> Crying like a little bitch.
> Falling on the floor clutching pants.
> Reach hand down pants
> Bloody hand emerges
> The person who was supposed to help me read in the library was the mother of my best friend, steps out of the library
> Says something along the lines of "****, what's wrong sweety?"
> *chokes back tears* " MY WILLY IS BLEEDING!" *continue crying*
> She makes me stand up and pulls down my pants in the middle up the hallway "wut.jpg"
> YOUR WILLIE IS BLEEDING!
> no shit sherlock.
I don't really remember what happened after that, but I do remember waking up after an operation where they had sew the upper half of my penis back together again. The cut was approximately 1.5cm deep, which is pretty deep for a 5y/o's penis, I still have noticeable scars. The sharp thing in the sliding door was removed later too.
|#2 - Picture||10/28/2013 on Best Knock Knock Jok ever!||+4|
|#76 - I kinda love mine||10/28/2013 on Do it||0|
|#22 - Picture||10/28/2013 on Dragons need work too ya know?||+5|
|#11 - Notice manchester Swell with pride/shame||10/26/2013 on yolo swag||0|
|#7 - HFW [+] (1 new reply)||10/26/2013 on His face says it all||-11|
|#211 - Despicable me 2 [+] (6 new replies)||10/25/2013 on You will never be this macho||0|
#220 - DeathclawRulez (10/25/2013) [-]
|#26 - Comment deleted||10/24/2013 on share yours, if you get...||0|
|#183 - Why thank you my love||10/23/2013 on Bitches these days.||0|
|#14 - The boobs||10/23/2013 on Picking a Title is Hard...||+1|
|#37 - I think we should stop now, better to be the Smarties in this … [+] (1 new reply)||10/23/2013 on made me giggle||0|
|#35 - Getting some Creme Egg on their faces! [+] (3 new replies)||10/23/2013 on made me giggle||0|
|#9 - TFW||10/23/2013 on Female 0rgasms||+60|