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Rank #5023 on CommentsLevel 231 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz
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|#1085 - **fromtheinternet rolls 442** [+] (1 new reply)||11/30/2013 on Pokemon Draw Thread!||0|
|#43 - **fromtheinternet rolled a random image posted in comment #1…||11/28/2013 on Damn psychics||0|
|#20 - Been looking for that in high quality all day! I love you. [+] (1 new reply)||11/25/2013 on Jizz projected everywhere||+1|
|#97 - I do think my timeline is wrong, it was a couple of weeks ago …||11/20/2013 on best way to travel||0|
|#94 - Ohhhh I don't know, Salford uni was shut down a few weeks ago … [+] (2 new replies)||11/20/2013 on best way to travel||0|
|#92 - Salford here, making Manchester classy as **** . [+] (4 new replies)||11/20/2013 on best way to travel||0|
|#88 - Dirty and covered in other guy's fluids||11/18/2013 on Ay Ay kids||+8|
|#16 - **fromtheinternet rolls 524** I tried||11/14/2013 on Gary Motherfuckin Oak||0|
|#34 - **fromtheinternet rolled user therealtjthemedic ** [+] (1 new reply)||11/10/2013 on a beautiful moment||+4|
|#7 - It was my cousin's birthday last week, my auntie's friend made…||11/03/2013 on Hawaiian Minion Cake||+1|
|#8 - I do even less, just eyeliner and mascara, a bit of concealer … [+] (1 new reply)||11/03/2013 on Looks can be deceiving||+1|
|#6 - Totally agree, plus the " **** , ive got to go… [+] (3 new replies)||11/03/2013 on Looks can be deceiving||+1|
|#136 - You caught me. I've got ovaries between my legs and whatever w… [+] (1 new reply)||11/02/2013 on the 2nd||0|
|#134 - I'd rather you didn't actually [+] (2 new replies)||11/02/2013 on the 2nd||0|
|#66 - Like this but can get all gnarly and **** …||11/02/2013 on Jesus Christ||0|
|#14 - What's red, slimy and crawling up a woman's leg? A ho…||11/02/2013 on Funnyjunk sure knows some...||+1|
|#62 - Fuuuuuck that sounds awful. what's scar tissue like … [+] (2 new replies)||11/02/2013 on Jesus Christ||0|
|#8 - It just sucks as I'm ill at the moment and I really don't fanc…||11/02/2013 on College||0|
|#50 - It was like 14 years ago, I don't remember much of the pain ju… [+] (1 new reply)||11/02/2013 on Jesus Christ||+1|
|#5 - I'm studying nursing so I can only have 9 absences a year … [+] (3 new replies)||11/02/2013 on College||0|
|#45 - I know. Thank god for ovaries Still hurt like a bitch though||11/02/2013 on Jesus Christ||+1|
|#42 - Luckily no, my hymen was fine, higher up was damaged. … [+] (3 new replies)||11/02/2013 on Jesus Christ||+2|
|#1 - Picture||11/02/2013 on This makes me feel good in...||0|
|#15 - But... I just changed the batteries in my ******** . [+] (11 new replies)||11/02/2013 on the 2nd||+22|
|#32 - > Be me, female age 4 > Having a bath with friend … [+] (12 new replies)||11/02/2013 on Jesus Christ||+20|
#61 - rossthomson (11/02/2013) [-]
Speaking of genital mutilation
> Be me, age 5
> Chilling in class
> "Hey ****, it's your turn to practice reading in the library!"
> Run quick as a whistle through the halls
> Run In the halls
> >Running in the halls
> School has a huge sliding door that separates the main hall lined with classrooms from the library.
> Sliding door is supported in the centre and slides horizontally to vertically, and in these days the tip of the vertical thing was sharp as a blade.
> Meanwhile i'm still in my "gottagofast readingisfun full on derpmode, and fail to notice the vertical wall of death that is currently facing me.
> Decide to go full-on matrix mode on that bitch and angle myself so that my lower body is sticking out in front of my upper body.
> Close the distance fast by pelvis-thrusting right into the sliding door with the power of a thousand suns.
> Crying like a little bitch.
> Falling on the floor clutching pants.
> Reach hand down pants
> Bloody hand emerges
> The person who was supposed to help me read in the library was the mother of my best friend, steps out of the library
> Says something along the lines of "****, what's wrong sweety?"
> *chokes back tears* " MY WILLY IS BLEEDING!" *continue crying*
> She makes me stand up and pulls down my pants in the middle up the hallway "wut.jpg"
> YOUR WILLIE IS BLEEDING!
> no shit sherlock.
I don't really remember what happened after that, but I do remember waking up after an operation where they had sew the upper half of my penis back together again. The cut was approximately 1.5cm deep, which is pretty deep for a 5y/o's penis, I still have noticeable scars. The sharp thing in the sliding door was removed later too.