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fistymcbutthole

fistymcbutthole Avatar Level 211 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Gender: male
Date Signed Up:5/27/2011
Last Login:9/23/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Thumbs: 7 total,  11 ,  4
Comment Thumbs: 1144 total,  2011 ,  867
Content Level Progress: 18.64% (11/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 12% (6/50)
Level 211 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 212 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Content Views:1520
Total Comments Made:415
FJ Points:1240
I am occasionally funny....

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funny pictures

  • Views: 1516
    Thumbs Up 11 Thumbs Down 4 Total: +7
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    Favorites: 1
    Uploaded: 09/05/12
    Boop Boop
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latest user's comments

#225 - Heh, black people telling white people st stop stealing everyt… 09/23/2014 on fuck whiteys +2
#32 - That'll be really cool until someone ***** all over it. 04/27/2014 on No you know something you... +1
#14 - This is one sport women have the advantage over men, I mean th… 02/22/2014 on The dangers of curling.. +7
#45 - I feel like I cant trust this because the guy in the picture i… 02/01/2014 on Mind Blown 0
#167 - Maybe thats why you never go full retard. 01/30/2014 on Tis a good question -3
#114 - uhh thanks... i guess 12/26/2013 on Ron swanson approves -3
#113 - Boy that is one official looking piece of paper. I have one to… 12/26/2013 on Ron swanson approves -4
#78 - Wow that post really spoke to me... or would have if you weren…  [+] (5 new replies) 12/26/2013 on Ron swanson approves -6
#84 - autoxx (12/26/2013) [-]
Believe what you will, I was taught from a young age how to hunt and trap (my ATA card in the pic)
My father had firecraft competitions with me in quite literally the worst conditions from 3 years old on. I learned how to shoot once I was old enough to stop playing with toy guns (I was 5, it was my fathers' stipulation) and I can cook wild meat without spices or salt well enough to enjoy it with only some extra fat from other parts of the animal to baste it.
I don't "survival camp" often anymore but I have lived on deserted islands in Australia, Belize, and off the west coast of Canada (worst place to start a fire btw) for holidays.
I don't need to make shit up to prove myself a man, I have lived it and can hold my own in almost any situation.
#113 - fistymcbutthole (12/26/2013) [-]
Boy that is one official looking piece of paper. I have one too.
My father regularly set me on fire since i was 3 years old. I learned to shoot while i was still in the womb (I was -2 months, it was my mothers stipulation) I can cook wild animals without salt or fire, just by staring at it until it becomes medium rare and magically spawns a side of rice.
I dont "EXTREME MCDOUBLE SURVIVAL SUPER CAMP" often anymore but i have lived in the most desolate places such as the Marianas Trench, Venus, and Pluto's moon Charon (I traveled to these places by simply flapping my arms really hard, like a true fucking man)
I dont need to make shit up to prove myself a man, I'm on the internet and arguments here are serious business.
Pic is proof, the Moon President gave me this after i took over by punching literally every mooninite in the face.

See? I can lie too
#107 - smbiosis (12/26/2013) [-]
Wow, you are a prissy little bitch. Are you really that much of a faggot that you go to my profile and thumb down my comments in retaliation? I noticed that you only thumbed down my comments that already had positive thumbs, as if you didn't want me to notice that you were thumbing me down, could you be any more of a cum-guzzling cocknose? I thumbed you down because you had a shitty attitude and your comments were stupid. You thumbed me down because you're a spiteful bitch who can't take criticism.

I'm with fistmcbutthole on this one.
#108 - smbiosis (12/26/2013) [-]
*fistymcbutthole
User avatar #114 - fistymcbutthole (12/26/2013) [-]
uhh thanks... i guess
#66 - >weaving >cooking yeah if youre trying to b…  [+] (8 new replies) 12/26/2013 on Ron swanson approves -6
#68 - autoxx (12/26/2013) [-]
Starving/freezing to death because you are too helpless to take care of yourself isn't manly...
I grew up in the wilds of Alberta (Canada), some years between work and play I only saw the inside of my bedroom a dozen or so times.
I can start a fire in a blizzard, kill what I need to survive with nothing but a pocketknife, and build a comfortable shelter with the materials around me.
I am also a gentle and giving boyfriend, a caring son, and a rock-solid best friend.

You need to reevaluate what makes a man.
User avatar #122 - thefogwoggler (12/26/2013) [-]
you have a glorious beard dont you?
User avatar #78 - fistymcbutthole (12/26/2013) [-]
Wow that post really spoke to me... or would have if you werent canadian.
Does your pocket knife come with salt, olive oil, and any other things you "need" too cook something? Probably not.
If the need ever arose for me to cook something, i would do so, and it probably wouldnt taste good. I dont give a shit. I dont need to baby my palet by trying to do all these "manly" things. I'd just eat and not complain about what kind of salt was used or whether or not it was left out for 40 mins, cuz im not a whiny little bitch.

And as for your "hurr durr i can survive in canadian wilderness im so hardcore" i found that almost as amusing as the navy seal copypasta as both are equally full of bullshit
#84 - autoxx (12/26/2013) [-]
Believe what you will, I was taught from a young age how to hunt and trap (my ATA card in the pic)
My father had firecraft competitions with me in quite literally the worst conditions from 3 years old on. I learned how to shoot once I was old enough to stop playing with toy guns (I was 5, it was my fathers' stipulation) and I can cook wild meat without spices or salt well enough to enjoy it with only some extra fat from other parts of the animal to baste it.
I don't "survival camp" often anymore but I have lived on deserted islands in Australia, Belize, and off the west coast of Canada (worst place to start a fire btw) for holidays.
I don't need to make shit up to prove myself a man, I have lived it and can hold my own in almost any situation.
#113 - fistymcbutthole (12/26/2013) [-]
Boy that is one official looking piece of paper. I have one too.
My father regularly set me on fire since i was 3 years old. I learned to shoot while i was still in the womb (I was -2 months, it was my mothers stipulation) I can cook wild animals without salt or fire, just by staring at it until it becomes medium rare and magically spawns a side of rice.
I dont "EXTREME MCDOUBLE SURVIVAL SUPER CAMP" often anymore but i have lived in the most desolate places such as the Marianas Trench, Venus, and Pluto's moon Charon (I traveled to these places by simply flapping my arms really hard, like a true fucking man)
I dont need to make shit up to prove myself a man, I'm on the internet and arguments here are serious business.
Pic is proof, the Moon President gave me this after i took over by punching literally every mooninite in the face.

See? I can lie too
#107 - smbiosis (12/26/2013) [-]
Wow, you are a prissy little bitch. Are you really that much of a faggot that you go to my profile and thumb down my comments in retaliation? I noticed that you only thumbed down my comments that already had positive thumbs, as if you didn't want me to notice that you were thumbing me down, could you be any more of a cum-guzzling cocknose? I thumbed you down because you had a shitty attitude and your comments were stupid. You thumbed me down because you're a spiteful bitch who can't take criticism.

I'm with fistmcbutthole on this one.
#108 - smbiosis (12/26/2013) [-]
*fistymcbutthole
User avatar #114 - fistymcbutthole (12/26/2013) [-]
uhh thanks... i guess
#60 - You're going to want to be careful with that shredder, you mig…  [+] (10 new replies) 12/26/2013 on Ron swanson approves -9
#63 - autoxx (12/26/2013) [-]
I don't need an apron, I wove my beard into my chest hair and my chest hair into my pubes.

I am thus immune to the drippings of bloody deliciousness.
User avatar #66 - fistymcbutthole (12/26/2013) [-]
>weaving
>cooking

yeah if youre trying to be manly youre not doing a great job
#68 - autoxx (12/26/2013) [-]
Starving/freezing to death because you are too helpless to take care of yourself isn't manly...
I grew up in the wilds of Alberta (Canada), some years between work and play I only saw the inside of my bedroom a dozen or so times.
I can start a fire in a blizzard, kill what I need to survive with nothing but a pocketknife, and build a comfortable shelter with the materials around me.
I am also a gentle and giving boyfriend, a caring son, and a rock-solid best friend.

You need to reevaluate what makes a man.
User avatar #122 - thefogwoggler (12/26/2013) [-]
you have a glorious beard dont you?
User avatar #78 - fistymcbutthole (12/26/2013) [-]
Wow that post really spoke to me... or would have if you werent canadian.
Does your pocket knife come with salt, olive oil, and any other things you "need" too cook something? Probably not.
If the need ever arose for me to cook something, i would do so, and it probably wouldnt taste good. I dont give a shit. I dont need to baby my palet by trying to do all these "manly" things. I'd just eat and not complain about what kind of salt was used or whether or not it was left out for 40 mins, cuz im not a whiny little bitch.

And as for your "hurr durr i can survive in canadian wilderness im so hardcore" i found that almost as amusing as the navy seal copypasta as both are equally full of bullshit
#84 - autoxx (12/26/2013) [-]
Believe what you will, I was taught from a young age how to hunt and trap (my ATA card in the pic)
My father had firecraft competitions with me in quite literally the worst conditions from 3 years old on. I learned how to shoot once I was old enough to stop playing with toy guns (I was 5, it was my fathers' stipulation) and I can cook wild meat without spices or salt well enough to enjoy it with only some extra fat from other parts of the animal to baste it.
I don't "survival camp" often anymore but I have lived on deserted islands in Australia, Belize, and off the west coast of Canada (worst place to start a fire btw) for holidays.
I don't need to make shit up to prove myself a man, I have lived it and can hold my own in almost any situation.
#113 - fistymcbutthole (12/26/2013) [-]
Boy that is one official looking piece of paper. I have one too.
My father regularly set me on fire since i was 3 years old. I learned to shoot while i was still in the womb (I was -2 months, it was my mothers stipulation) I can cook wild animals without salt or fire, just by staring at it until it becomes medium rare and magically spawns a side of rice.
I dont "EXTREME MCDOUBLE SURVIVAL SUPER CAMP" often anymore but i have lived in the most desolate places such as the Marianas Trench, Venus, and Pluto's moon Charon (I traveled to these places by simply flapping my arms really hard, like a true fucking man)
I dont need to make shit up to prove myself a man, I'm on the internet and arguments here are serious business.
Pic is proof, the Moon President gave me this after i took over by punching literally every mooninite in the face.

See? I can lie too
#107 - smbiosis (12/26/2013) [-]
Wow, you are a prissy little bitch. Are you really that much of a faggot that you go to my profile and thumb down my comments in retaliation? I noticed that you only thumbed down my comments that already had positive thumbs, as if you didn't want me to notice that you were thumbing me down, could you be any more of a cum-guzzling cocknose? I thumbed you down because you had a shitty attitude and your comments were stupid. You thumbed me down because you're a spiteful bitch who can't take criticism.

I'm with fistmcbutthole on this one.
#108 - smbiosis (12/26/2013) [-]
*fistymcbutthole
User avatar #114 - fistymcbutthole (12/26/2013) [-]
uhh thanks... i guess
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