What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)s on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I have over 300 confirmed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)s. I am trained in gorilla ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and I’m the top ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the entire US armed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)es. You are nothing to me but just another ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will wipe you the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to me over the Internet? Think again, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). As we ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I am contacting my secret network of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)s across the USA and your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is being traced right now so you better prepare for the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), maggot. The ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You’re fucking dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)s, and that’s just with my bare ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Not only am I extensively trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) off the face of the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will shit ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll -blam!- fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now

I got lazy and didn`t read so I put the text on google translate and played it... Shits hilarious!

fucking listen to it in esperanto!

I swear it sounds like the guy is desperately trying to hold back the laughter

I had to stop listening because i was close to bursting into laughter in the middle of class.. Its rare that i am this close to genuinely cry of laughter

HAHAHA OMFG everyone needs to do this

it's even funnier to do it in other languages so you get the accent

OMFG THIS IS FUCKING GOLD

zoopityzop come hither

www.funnyjunk.com/funny_gifs/4258970/Women+s+Logic

it's probably the most epic one

Imma upload my last one to NSFW cuz it'll get flagged here

www.funnyjunk.com/funny_gifs/4258970/Women+s+Logic

it's probably the most epic one

^probably spelled that wrong

Imma upload my last one to NSFW cuz it'll get flagged here

www.funnyjunk.com/funny_gifs/4258970/Women+s+Logic

it's probably the most epic one

you could politely tell them stop

^probably spelled that wrong

Imma upload my last one to NSFW cuz it'll get flagged here

www.funnyjunk.com/funny_gifs/4258970/Women+s+Logic

it's probably the most epic one

you could politely tell them stop

^probably spelled that wrong

Imma upload my last one to NSFW cuz it'll get flagged here

www.funnyjunk.com/funny_gifs/4258970/Women+s+Logic

it's probably the most epic one

you could politely tell them stop

^probably spelled that wrong

Imma upload my last one to NSFW cuz it'll get flagged here

www.funnyjunk.com/funny_gifs/4258970/Women+s+Logic

it's probably the most epic one

>inb4 Feminazis come and thumb us down.

you could politely tell them stop

^probably spelled that wrong

Imma upload my last one to NSFW cuz it'll get flagged here

www.funnyjunk.com/funny_gifs/4258970/Women+s+Logic

it's probably the most epic one

First thing that comes to mind:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

when i was a young boy in the himalayan mountains my father used to bring me a dildo from work each day.... i used to fuck the shit out of said dildoes, until one day, upon returning from work, my father did not present me with the usual phallus; on this day, he had come home with a metre long bar of metal, one that even the most trained anuses in the himalayan mountains would not be able to handle... i looked at it in all of its tenacity and promised myself that one day, whether it be today, tomorrow, or the day i die, i will fill the metaphorical cavern that is my anus with the hard shaft of the iron pole. every day i trained my asshole, starting with the regular 2-inch dildos that my dad had presented me with earlier, gradually moving onto bigger, more fierce poles until my asshole was stretched out for the ultimate challenge. the training grew more intense... i gathered various vegetables from my mother's crops; carrots, corn, asparagus, celery, anythign to prepare my fierce asshole for the greatest moment of my life; for the ultimate challenge. one winter, however, the crops started to die, and i could not continue my training. heartbroken, i walked home, trying not to choke back the tears left behind by broken dreams and fallen aspirations. a fairy came to me in my sorrow and asked me of my troubles, to which i responded, my anal capacities can no longer be exceeded, for the crops are dying. understanding my troubles, the fairy proceeded to cease the harsh cold; and with that, my mother's dildo farm had been fully restored. before i could thank the fairy, she had disappeared into the night. years later, after completing my training, it was time: I extracted the dildo from my sacred hiding place, and proceeded to lubricate with my tears of joy... 1 meter of pure agony was no longer one meter of pure agony... it was one meter of pride and joy; the overwhelming feeling of success. i rested my battle-weary eyes and cried; not a sorrowful cry, but a cry of beauty.

when I was a young boy I PLAYED THE SILVER BALL

This is quite possibly the best thing I've ever read.

WHEN I WAS.... A YOUNG BOY.... MY FATHER.... TOOK ME INTO THE CITY... TO SEE A MARCHING BAND!

Just had to read that first line to know that..
Dis gon b gud.

What the zoobidey flip-flop-bop did you just say about me, you flippidy zoob woobity? I'll have you know I zooped and flooped to the top of my class in the zobbler wobbler, and I've rop-wop-flopped in numerous shoobidy doobidies on floppity pudding, and I have over 300 shibbidy bops. I am trained in flap-floppities and I'm the top doober in the entire shibbidy. You are nothing to zoobidy-me but just another zoobidy. I will zoop you the blop out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this floobidy Earth, mark my flibbidy flop. You think you can flop away with zoobing that doobie-woobie to me over the Interzoobies? Think again, flap-flopper. As we speak I am zipping my blopping bloop of flobbidies across the boopidy and your floopidy is being flopped right now so you better poopidy for the big zoobidy flop party, son. You're jeeber zeebered, son. I can be anywhere, any-flopping-time, and I can zoop and woop you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my boobidy shoobidies. Not only am I extensively zooped in zip-wop, but I have access to the entire zabber of the Zap Wop Muggity Top and I will zoop it to its full extent to flap your flobbity flob off the face of the zoobie, you zabber wabber. If only you could have known what zopping fury your little "zoopity" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have zooped up. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you flapping babbling shooby-wooper. I will zip zop all over you and you will drown in it. You're zooped, son.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)s on ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), and I have over 300 confirmed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)s. I am trained in gorilla ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and I’m the top ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in the entire US armed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)es. You are nothing to me but just another ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will wipe you the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to me over the Internet? Think again, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). As we ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I am contacting my secret network of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)s across the USA and your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) is being traced right now so you better prepare for the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), maggot. The ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). You’re fucking dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)s, and that’s just with my bare ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Not only am I extensively trained in ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) off the face of the ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), you little ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). I will shit ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll -blam!- fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now

I got lazy and didn`t read so I put the text on google translate and played it... Shits hilarious!

fucking listen to it in esperanto!

I swear it sounds like the guy is desperately trying to hold back the laughter

I had to stop listening because i was close to bursting into laughter in the middle of class.. Its rare that i am this close to genuinely cry of laughter

HAHAHA OMFG everyone needs to do this

it's even funnier to do it in other languages so you get the accent

OMFG THIS IS FUCKING GOLD

zoopityzop come hither

**sagen rolls 97** this needs more thumbs

you have a dozen detachable penis sausages?

Dont you? I thought everyone had dozens of detachable penis sausages

i only have 3. you might want to see a doctor

i had to steal the first one

Why not just fuck her?

The best part about this Gif. is Dolphins are supposed to e cleverer than us, I weep for humanity.

your comment made me weep for humanity... it's kinda of ironic...

.gif*
is that*
more clever*

i assume you missing a b is a typo, and i'm ok with this

Oh god, I've been calling them gifs. for so long, but the rest of the mistakes, weren't my fault, it was more my keyboard being derpy. My bad.

I did not expect the torpedo dolphin of the deep.
I thoroughly chuckled.

</3

One Way Out

Ain't wastin a time no more

presidents of the united states of america - peaches

mountain jam by the allman brothers, first thing google gave me

Jessica- alleman brothers

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

Trouble No more

Payphone

peaches by the presidents of the USA

Gangnam Style

its a song

peaches by the presidents?

Oh, okay then. Thanks.

Not you

I sent this guy 7 free items he didnt have, and he declined it.