Perfect for teenagers with no friends.

Shit nigga why didn't you just summon me hours ago?!

And i'm afraid that's the last I have of Emi
Unless you want some sprites
<as such
Enjoy!

>Custom system, called Dashing Dice
>Enemies don;t make attack rolls, we make defense rolls
>critical defense on our behalf = critical fumble on attack
>be level 6 wizard
>orc archers on cliffs
>I keep critically dodging
>meaning they keep fumbling
>they kill themselves because I hop away from their arrows
>wut

>In my party, we have a Dwarf fighter with an axe.
>Every time he fumbles an attack, DM says he loses a point of Con
>These losses are in the form of cutting off his own toes
>He only has like six toes now.

>Level 6 wizard
>Surrounded by like, 200 orcs
>only a few have the balls to actually fight us
>fucking archers
>a boulder knocks out one of our party
>her lover carries her into nearby orc-den cae
>to avoid arrows and more boulders
>As party healer, I follow
>Take out a few orcs inside
>On of them pulls out a grenade, opens coat to show like 5 more.
>What the fuck, DM?
>Hold Person
>Everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg
>Cast Magic Missile at grenade-guy
>He dies
>Hold person stops when he dies
>falls over
>lands on grenades
>roll to see if bad things happen
>LIKE A MASSIVE FUCKING EXPLOSION. YOU DONT EVEN KNOW
>That hurt, but we're still up
>roll to see if bad things happen
>the explosion caused a cave-in
>fuck me.
>

This isn't a critical fumble story, but is one of my stupidity.

>Level 3 Wizard
>Party of level 3's.
>Fighting ogre-like things called Orsts
>Our Dwarftard Fighter runs the 80 feet to their faces
>I cast Sleep
>Only works on level 4 and below
>They're level 5's.
>ohshitnigger.jpg
>Dwarf falls asleep
>He almost dies

my sides

>Level 3 Wizard
>In a cave
>Dark cave
>Surrounded by giant flying bat-like things called Balicanths
>idea
>Cast Light
>Roll*
>Critical Fail
>Blind myself with my own light spell

*My DM doesn't like the "aoutmatically works" aspect of most spells, so makes me roll to make sure I have a chance to fumble or crit like every other player.

>Shitty Dwarf paladin
>Try to throw my warhammer at enemy
>roll 0 for throw
>DM says I wound it up and threw it on my head

I'm also don't have that long a reach so I don't think I'd really be all that good at Epee. I also suck at fleches so there's that.

I kinda wanted a youtube clip too....

I would probably hurt myself if given and actually sharp sword. I'm not all that coordinated...

epees easy youj just gotta poke peole...

I'm also don't have that long a reach so I don't think I'd really be all that good at Epee. I also suck at fleches so there's that.

I kinda wanted a youtube clip too....

**unchangedgreen rolled a random image posted in comment #3096101 at My Little Pony fanfiction, backgrounds, songs, lyrics, and GIFs. ** Not a nigger but possibly asian

**fencingchamp rolled a random image posted in comment #278 at Most stupid professions ** mfw pones

That's totally not me, I'm so bad at saber that all my saber friends just laugh at me and I've never even tried Epee. I can only fence foil with any sort of skill.

I can only fence epee... but give me a katana oh man

I would probably hurt myself if given and actually sharp sword. I'm not all that coordinated...

epees easy youj just gotta poke peole...

I'm also don't have that long a reach so I don't think I'd really be all that good at Epee. I also suck at fleches so there's that.

I kinda wanted a youtube clip too....

Hahaha, I'm guessing it's been a while since you've fenced?

3 years... i'm good with most any sword though

That's totally not me, I'm so bad at saber that all my saber friends just laugh at me and I've never even tried Epee. I can only fence foil with any sort of skill.

I can only fence epee... but give me a katana oh man

I would probably hurt myself if given and actually sharp sword. I'm not all that coordinated...

epees easy youj just gotta poke peole...

I'm also don't have that long a reach so I don't think I'd really be all that good at Epee. I also suck at fleches so there's that.

I kinda wanted a youtube clip too....

I actually fence at Rochester Fencing Club, I've fenced there for like six years or something like that. Where did you learn?

MD fencing club in bel air... all of my gear is too small for me now though...

Hahaha, I'm guessing it's been a while since you've fenced?

3 years... i'm good with most any sword though

That's totally not me, I'm so bad at saber that all my saber friends just laugh at me and I've never even tried Epee. I can only fence foil with any sort of skill.

I can only fence epee... but give me a katana oh man

I would probably hurt myself if given and actually sharp sword. I'm not all that coordinated...

epees easy youj just gotta poke peole...

I'm also don't have that long a reach so I don't think I'd really be all that good at Epee. I also suck at fleches so there's that.

I kinda wanted a youtube clip too....

Aw that sucks, I have a friend who dislocated her knee and it took her a good half of year to finally be able to actually fence again so I can see how that'd be debilitating.

whered you learn to fence?

I actually fence at Rochester Fencing Club, I've fenced there for like six years or something like that. Where did you learn?

MD fencing club in bel air... all of my gear is too small for me now though...

Hahaha, I'm guessing it's been a while since you've fenced?

3 years... i'm good with most any sword though

That's totally not me, I'm so bad at saber that all my saber friends just laugh at me and I've never even tried Epee. I can only fence foil with any sort of skill.

I can only fence epee... but give me a katana oh man

I would probably hurt myself if given and actually sharp sword. I'm not all that coordinated...

epees easy youj just gotta poke peole...

I'm also don't have that long a reach so I don't think I'd really be all that good at Epee. I also suck at fleches so there's that.

I kinda wanted a youtube clip too....

Epic! I'm also a fencer, I was supposed to be in the Junior Olympics in Baltimore, but I managed to sprain my ankle pretty badly so that's out. It's cool to meet a fellow fencer on FJ.

I was never that good.. but I dislocated my knee and now it slips out of place a lot so I stopped

Aw that sucks, I have a friend who dislocated her knee and it took her a good half of year to finally be able to actually fence again so I can see how that'd be debilitating.

whered you learn to fence?

I actually fence at Rochester Fencing Club, I've fenced there for like six years or something like that. Where did you learn?

MD fencing club in bel air... all of my gear is too small for me now though...

Hahaha, I'm guessing it's been a while since you've fenced?

3 years... i'm good with most any sword though

That's totally not me, I'm so bad at saber that all my saber friends just laugh at me and I've never even tried Epee. I can only fence foil with any sort of skill.

I can only fence epee... but give me a katana oh man

I would probably hurt myself if given and actually sharp sword. I'm not all that coordinated...

epees easy youj just gotta poke peole...

I'm also don't have that long a reach so I don't think I'd really be all that good at Epee. I also suck at fleches so there's that.

I kinda wanted a youtube clip too....

It's actually a Cracked.com photoplasty on fake easter eggs.

Cheers and good fencing (a sabre man myself, stopped some time ago though)

This is the first time I've seen another fencer on FJ.

Former fencer, but still... It seems there are another few in this thread.

Former fencer? Until you took an arrow to the knee?

More like to the willpower, didn't feel like doing a few hours late in the evening twice a week. By the way, where's your sweet roll?

En garde!

Touche!

Wait... so we're doing sword against sabre? I never wondered what would happen if you put them on the same board.

i think the rapier would win simply because its faster and more accurate.

I don't know, I always liked the sabre because you can slash, so are not limited to point thrusts. Probably it's because of this and of my excessive enthusiasm that I broke a few blades in my sports history.

<---Obviously not me, although I'm Italian. You get the idea

I wish i could fence, not many places around my part of america are into it.

Where you from? I live in Siena, small city (+-60,000 people) but big on fencing, we have a couple of world-class champions that hail from here

Fencing champ? As in, like, sword fencing?

yes sir

Epic! I'm also a fencer, I was supposed to be in the Junior Olympics in Baltimore, but I managed to sprain my ankle pretty badly so that's out. It's cool to meet a fellow fencer on FJ.

I was never that good.. but I dislocated my knee and now it slips out of place a lot so I stopped

Aw that sucks, I have a friend who dislocated her knee and it took her a good half of year to finally be able to actually fence again so I can see how that'd be debilitating.

whered you learn to fence?

I actually fence at Rochester Fencing Club, I've fenced there for like six years or something like that. Where did you learn?

MD fencing club in bel air... all of my gear is too small for me now though...

Hahaha, I'm guessing it's been a while since you've fenced?

3 years... i'm good with most any sword though

That's totally not me, I'm so bad at saber that all my saber friends just laugh at me and I've never even tried Epee. I can only fence foil with any sort of skill.

I can only fence epee... but give me a katana oh man

I would probably hurt myself if given and actually sharp sword. I'm not all that coordinated...

epees easy youj just gotta poke peole...

I'm also don't have that long a reach so I don't think I'd really be all that good at Epee. I also suck at fleches so there's that.

I kinda wanted a youtube clip too....

Well here's Rin + Cripple version of "Damn it feels good to be gangsta/cripple": www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzVYWCpoxts

Marcus Aurelius, who might you be?

Marcus