But.. free food!

I could in-dick you though.

Oh please, I wouldn't even notice.

Am I winning?

That means I can ninja in, ninja out. I win!

Well I never got to use the bloody thing anyway, so chances are you are winning lel

But I'm the ninja.
Nah if you got anywhere near me Saya would be beating you up.

Use what?

Implying a little girl can sto- OH LOOK AT HER SHE SO CUTE OHMAGAWD

The dick

Wait why the hell are we talking about that

Yeah she's the cutest thing ever.
Mainly when she has Lepord Gecko's.

You pee from that.

You gotta explain that one to me, I have no idea what a Lepord Gecko is.

Oh darn, I've been doing it wrong all these years...

This cute ************ is a lepord gecko.

I know that. Thought you mean some sort of clothing, you know, like Jack Wolfskin.

So you has one of those? They are effin cute!

technically we have 300+ Michael breeds them.

I WANT ONE!

they're pretty damn cute.

SO I just put food in the microwave, it DING and I'm not hungry anymore.

What do with food?

I DO THAT ALL THE TIME.

I normally either give it to Saya or my dog, so I don't know.

THE HORROR!

But.. no Saya or dog.

Maybe you should get a Saya or a dog.

A dog would be nice, dunno where to get a Saya though

True finding a Saya for sale would be very difficult as I have the only one and I promise she isn't for sale.

But surely I can borrow your Saya for a couple days so she can terminate the food I don't want?

I don't think she'd be happy about me lending her out.

LULU!

Hi.

<3

Don't what?

NYEH

Nyeh?

Nyeh.

How are you doing, Lulu? Had a good night?

It just became night time.

How was your night?

Gosh darn past dwellers.

Had a bit of sleep, so I guess I can't complain.

Kept thinking it's gonna be monday today. My subconcious must really miss work, heh.

I'm +9 GMT.

Night time Sunday for me.

GOSH DARN FUTURE ***** !

I read that in a weird sexual way for some reason.

Perhaps you should go to sleep ASAP-

I really should, but I want to listen to some music.

'slong 'syou don't listen to it sexually all's good in the hood

But wai'd you do that?

I'm kind of a dick.

Me too, to be honest.

>Implying you can out-dick me

Not like I can in-dick you.

Consider yourself lucky if that's the case. I wasn't only so ********* I've completely missed out on everything and was asleep long before midnight, I also feel like a hippo crate.

Family even put a bucket next to my bed and I'm not quite ready to put it away just yet.

Oh well, I don't like loud noises anyway. Except for concerts, that is. And music in general.

Ah, it's new years, you have an excuse.
Hope you're feelin' alright now.

Something wrong?

I gotta adopt that tradition, bro.

Bro. I like, like you, bro.

What's up, my man?

Wanna get some ice cream after this?

Playing some League. Sent my daughter to bed, she's pretty down and sick. Guess I should really call her my sister at this point, this whole daughter thing is getting a bit weird, heh.

Followed by a trip to the bone zone?

Heh, I guess. Hardly matters in the end.

Oi you

Welp, guess that's right.
How's my main man doing this fine morning?

pls

Felt like **** so I drank some, now feel less **** maybe?

m8

You're drinking more and more. Do not let this become a habit. Alcohol is a depressant, remember that.

srsly

Ah, **** it, it's Christmas. Family are ******* alcoholics so there's tonnes of the stuff lying around, hahaha

Alright, fine, but only cause I'm drunk~~

Still, go easy. I still drink daily, but managed to cut down a ******* . Don't end up like me, you really do not want that to happen.

Man, can't take advantage of you. We just gonna snuggle.

Yeah, it's not a regular thing..

No, I demand you take advantage of me this instant.

Good, good. Make sure it doesn't become a regular thing.

Wow, someone's feeling frisky tonight, eh?

I won't, I won't

That's what being tipsy does to me, now get over here

Good, good.

Remind me to prepare some scotch for when you're over.

I always regret it enough to never do it again until next time.

Then what, huh?

Know that feel, man. Wel, actually, I can never wait for the next day so I can feel good again.

You'll get a foot massage, that oughta do the trick..

Ah, I'm not drunk enough to want it to stop

The trick for what?

You can never be drunk enough!

Wait. What. No. You can be, don't listen to him!

The trick to get your engines up and running, boyo~

Ah, I know from experience you can be, hah

One step ahead of you

Wait, we never talked when I was completely ********* . Probably because I was utterly unable to type, ehehe.

Swiggity swooty~

Oh, I gotta see that sometime

Oh nooooo, whatever will I do~?

Don't just disappear like that. You know how bloody worried I get when it comes to you.

Here, I just rolled one. You can have it.

Now, what happened?

Yeah, should've told you.. Sorry, pal.

Drama, people, that old ******** . Just trying to live my own life out here, you know?

You should have, ya bloody git.

Drama? What drama? Something or someone keeping you down?

Will a hug make up for it?

Ah, not really, just found myself in a bit of an awkward situation. Things seem to be working out though?

Anyway, how's life treating you, my man?

..you god damn arse, I love you too much to decline.

Heh, still not one to give many details, I see. Ehh, I won't try n push you to talk about **** anymore.

Life's treating me alright. Drinking a whole lot less, made a couple pals over the course of almost two months, stuff like that. Had my daughter over on tuesday, poor little girl has been treted horribly by her hex (with whom she, unfortunately, still lives with)
Had a nervous breakdown. A bit of hugging, a bit of tea, a few kind words managed to calm her down, though. Went to the christmas market with a mutual friend afterwards. At who's place I am to kill a few crates of beer on saturday. Hey, it's weekend, don't judge me.

I'll be better next time, promise.

Eh, you know me. I'm just thankful to have someone still putting up with me, hah.

Sounds pretty good, man. Any plans for christmas?

You better be, or I'm going to cuddle you all damn day long!

Hey, you know damn well I could never let you go.

Lil sis coming over for christmas. It's gonna be fun. How about you?

Oh noooo, whatever would I do then?

And I truly appreciate it, man.

Yeah, going up to visit my aunt and her family. Been a while since I've seen those guys, should be nice.

You gotta snuggle back nice and tight. You owe me after just disappearing without a trace!

Heh, I appreciate you, as well. Helped me through a **** ton of crap, that's why you're my main man.

I see, I see. I wish you a lot of fun there!

Yeah, but like, that's a given.

Ah, that's what friends are for, right?

God damnit man I can't wait for real snuggles with you

Friends help friends, that's what friends do!

It's going. Got a sweet as sugar "thank you" text from a friend yesterday just for being a friend. You know those situation when you don't even know what to say back? I'm always just like "uhh.. thanks.."

How goes you?

Came back from chopping wood, removing tree stumps, moving wood, burning wood, getting hard and finally coming back to see you tell me how adorable you were.

Oh you little rascal.

It was one of those "what did I do to deserve this" moments, but in a good way. Really filled me with determination.

**warzon plops his head atop of your own, grinning wildly while snuggling up against you**

You know I love you squirming and blushing, can you blame me~?

Heh, that you do indeed, you little cutie~ Come snuggle me, fool!

Also, giant tits best tits.
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**warzon slowly begins to slide his hands down your sides, murmuring into your ear while grinding against your backside**

Of course~

Am home now

Buddy made bolognese

Why were you still up?

So you don't want to have a bad time?

Bad Greed, no genocide.

It's a beautiful day outside.. birds are singing, flowers are blooming..

Nobody will burn in hell on my watch, pal.

But pal. I already got a VIP ticket. I ain't burning, I'm watching from afar. There's free booze, too. The real torture is that you can't get completely hammered, ever.

Besides, Megalovania is the best sodding track in the entire game.

Well, it'll beat hear. Bloody freezing.

Megalovania is some good **** .

Welp, my daughter invited me over. Seems like I gotta drink all the evil alcohol before she gets the chance.

Be careful, man.

God damn that pic!

It's my secret weapon against you.

You know my weakness.. cuteness!

Who doesn't have that as a weakness though.

Genocide Frisk? I mean, Papyrus is bloody adorable.

Genocide Frisk is a little **** and doesn't count.

Bloody told ya.

Ah, you sod.

You should really listen to me more often, you know.

Yeah, I know.

What did you even drink? Now don't tell me it was hard liquor.

Nah, port. It was going pretty cheap because christmas, or something.

That's like.. 20 %, give or take a few, right?

19.5
Yes I regret all of my decisions.

You're really not made for drinking, man. Stick to a few beer if you think you really have to drink. 'slong 's you don't make it a habit.

Yeah, **** that... I ain't touching the stuff for a while, for sure.

Yeah, it's for the best.

No matter what some people might want to tell you, there's no sodding reason to be proud of the ability to drink a lot. Don't.

And now I find myself wondering why the **** you seem to like the stuff, heh.

It's not like I actually like the stuff, heh...

C'mon, big guy, don't be doin' this to yourself..

I'm, uh.. kinda coping with something here. Damn near got under the wheels yesterday. Still not over it. Went one day sober.. felt like utter garbage. You don't want to feel like that, do you?

Most importantly, I don't want to die before having met you.

C'mere, man.

God damnit, man.

I couldn't be having anything bad happen to you, now.

Not now. Not before I've embraced you with body and soul.

Not ever, you.

Take it from me.. be very careful with that stuff.

I don't plan on making a habit of it, just... I need it tonight.

Just don't get hooked, okay?

Thanks, man.. Youre a great pal, you know that?

I try.

Really, lay off the booze and go to sleep. You got classes tomorrow, no?

I wake up with just enough time to make it to lectures by the skin of my teeth regardless of when I go to sleep.

Please, at least try.

I just have to let loose for one night, man.

Best results will be achieved by getting more sleep. Trust me.

Greeeeeeeeeeeeeed

Come on, buddo.

Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed

Go. To. Bed.

I know I'm going to. Got work tomorrow... again.

Oh, boo.

Sleep tight mate.

You've got a bit of irish in you at the end, there.
I'd record a voice but my mic is bust.

Heh. That's a huge compliment, as I thought my accent reeks of germany. Thanks for that.

How's it going, bucko?

Accents are a silly thing, anyway.

Ah, it's been a **** day, so I'm trying to make the most of these last few hours of it.

What happened, man?

Just my damn mind ******* with me again. Hardly matters now.
What's up with you, huh?

I'm worrying more and more about you, pal...

I'm k. Narrowly escaped Death. Wouldn't i have looked to the right in the last second... My light was green. He had to wait. Needless to das, I'm fairly intoxicated now.

Kinda worrying about my daughter, too. She got two Bad knees. Tumors run in her family. She's downright terrified of hospitals.

Looks like the voice thing isn't working that well after all.

**** , glad you're alright, man.

That, uh, doesn't sound like the best combination.

Dude, I'm serious. I'm starting to worry. Every day you're giving me the same answer. "My mind's messing with me" "Not my best day", stuff like that. It's been going on for a while now and I'm seriously starting to worry.

I'll be fine, I always am in the end.

It's just.. I really don't want to push your buttons or anything, but you know. Stuff.

I'm glad you care, man. I really am, but I don't know how to go about discussing this sort of stuff.

Whenever you're ready. I'm here for you.

I'm sorry. I really do wish I knew what to say.

Man, I know I'm getting a bit too overprotective and all, but **** . You're still my main man.

No, it's fine.. it's nice to have someone looking out for you.

I love you, man. Just.. want yourself to feel well.

Things'll go as they'll go. But I have some booze now, so all's well.

Warzon, you slippery snail. You've slipped right through my radar.

Not a snail, I admit I may be slow when I want to be, there is also times where you want to be fast, hard, long.

And then heresy was commited.
Several times in different positions.

Not really my daughter, lol.

Just a fun little thing with a friend. Started hanging out with a buncha classmates on halloween, we all got a little drunk as it should be, not too much though. She caught the hots for a classmate of ours (who happens to be one of my closer friends by now)

For her, I'm doing a lot of actually fatherly **** . Be it just listening, telling her to get more sleep, drink more water to prevent nausea, not stress herself out too much and generally just being a.. well, sort of father figure.

For him I'm doing pretty much the same, he can always call me when he got something on his heart, can come over and eat when there's stress at home, helping him study (or would, but he refuses to study.. we all told him to fukkn study more to stop the influx of F's on his assignments and tests) and all that caboodle.

And she's still calling me Papa, father, daddy and the likes. He's my brother and we treat each other like brothers would and should.

Does that explain it?

Yeah, that's pretty neat

What's been up on your end, my man? You're always so damn vague and I ask of you to cut the crap and tell me what's been going down.

And I luv u too best buddy

Well school for starter is putting a lot of stress on me, for example I had three Swedish assignments I had to do until this week and I found out about it last week since no one has told me **** , but I finished them thank god. Maybe some small relationship problems too, mostly me being a sad panda about the distance and how I miss Eddy-butt all the ******* time. Oh and all my highschool friends have abandoned me which sucks donkey dicks and are now acting like assholes to me so **** them, I still have two good friends there

Dayum dawg, you're still going strong with Edboy? That's what I call determination! Despite the distance, you just **** on it and say "Ey **** this, ******* out of Sweden in not too long, later ya ******* immigrants", I like that! That's what I call determination!

If they've suddenly started acting like assholes, they might have been assholes in disguise all along. **** 'em, fight the good fight, stick to the good folk.

So how are you doing?

Yep, that's the plan. Once I finish high school and he finishes college he's flying me over to Florida. I can't wait. Hope Sweden goes to **** and becomes the worst country on earth while I'm gone

Probably, **** them all. I'm having so much more fun with my two other friends who don't make fun of me all the time. One of them even got me a shot glass that says "It's the Social Democrats fault" on it

I'm doing pretty good. Have my bro and my daughter on the way, we gonna cook today. Spaghetti.

I gotta say, my man. I really want to get the **** out of germany. ******* Merkel.

Also, it's me and Eddy's one year anniversary today

Haha ikr? **** her for being the head of this Europe destruction, glad you're gonna have fun later though

Smoking is Bad, m'kay.

In mobile, sorry for lack of pictures.

What's up, bucko?

Replace cigarettes with juice boxes, or something.

Not much is up, I'm just winding down for the night. How about you?

Smoke all ya want, I'm having a smoke myself right now.

Not much going on. Been counseling my daughter a little, she's feeling a tad better. Told her to go to bed, as it is pretty late. Let's hope she's listening.

Winding down? Something happen?

Nah, just chilling out before i sleep. Speaking of which, I've become real damn tired all of a sudden. I'd love to stick around and chat but for many reasons I oughta get my ass into bed. See you around, pal.

There, there. Greed's here for you.

Haha, true that. Rolling the exact same way would be pretty boring, as you said.

Naah, not slacking. Just taking it a bit easy. You know how it is when you stress yourself too much. No good.

Ey, if you need some ******** advice, you know where to find me.

Yeah, but there's not much to get along with when someone's completely unlike you in every way.

I guess, but I feel like if I take it easy that ain't gonna be good enough for the people I'm dealing with, heh.

Aw, come on, your ******** advice is great.

Yeah, that's true. Good thing we have just as much in common, eh?

Easy there, cowboy. They'll tell you when they feel like you're taking it too easy. Don't stress yourself out, man. You got this.

Heh, what do they say about blind chickens?

Yeah, you're a damn good friend, my man.

If they gotta tell me to pick up the pace then it's already too late!

Beats me, is this another one of your German sayings?

Not as good of a friend as you are, my good man.

Easy does it, easy go. It's not gonna be too late, it'll just be about to start. I repeat, overstressing yourself is the first step towards failure. Now, a bit of stress, on the other hand, can be very beneficial for you.

Ohh shush, you know exactly what I mean.

Nah, that's just crazy.

Yeah, you're probably right, but I guess it feels like I've got something to prove, or something.

I honestly haven't the slightest clue, man.

Now, now. That's crazy talk outta your mouth.

Listen. The only person you gotta prove something to is yourself. All you gotta prove to yourself is that you can do it.

Even a blind chicken sometimes finds a grain of corn.

Pf, I'm always completely sane.

I dunno, man, I have a degree to earn here.

**** , I'm awful at sayings.

Kekeke, good one. Who is truly sane, anyway? Claiming not to be at least a little bit crazy is crazy in itself!

Which degree are you hunting after, anyway? I don't think we've talked about that before.

Shoot, don't sweat it. So am I.

Being sane would be boring even if it was achievable.

Mathematics. It's a real bitch of a course, here.

Screw words, man.

That's the secret to life. Imagine a completely sane world... **** , it'd be boring.

Oh, shoot. I see numbers and gears stop grinding immedtiately.

Screw words. And on that note, screw being awake. What did we say, going to bed early? Let's do it now, man. Off to bed with you.

Once I finish off this worksheet here I'll probably call it a night.

Wat. You're still working on it? Alright, get her done and off to bed. Remember to put on some relaxing music, can't sleep with math problems still lingering in your head.

Good night, pal.

I'm one of those people who works on and off throughout the day as opposed to in a large constant block. I've found better results that way.

Sleep well, man.

Ahh, I see. That makes sense.

Alright, for real now. Without further ado, good night.

but first, gimme a hug.

Hey. What're ya painting over there?

This is the painting. It's a painting of Rin painting a picture of Rin painting a picture of Rin painting a picture of Rin painting a picture of Rin painting a picture of Rin painting a picture of

Uhhhhh... I have a migraine now.

That's no good, go get a glass of water.
How're you, pal?

Lots of water in my room, mate.

How I'm doing? Pah, where do I start. I'm still seething. Still got no weed, can't drink today because gotta cut down on it. Monkeys in my class were being obnoxious again, nearly got hit with a hard plastic bottle. Flip the **** out, throw it back with full force. Aimed at the wall, as much as I wanted to hurt somebody. Got sent out. Long talk with superiors. Surprisingly enough, they understand why I flipped the **** out, told me to keep it down in the future. Not like I can do anything about adults acting like kids if not even the teachers can do anything about it. Let's just hope some of them get fired soon, oughta teach them a much needed lesson.

Still angry. Mostly okay, though. Prefer anger over sadness, know what I'm saying?

So, that's enough about my day. How has your day been?

Ah, being angry is too tiring, if you ask me. Still, people like that oughta be in places far away from people like us.

My day has basically comprised of me working my arse off. Not too much fun there, sadly.

Ahh, better unleash it that way over bottling it up and strangling a bitch. Man, you can't even imagine how much I was shaking. So much wrath. It also seems that I was supposed to work on saturday... Forgot to check the plan.

Aww, that's no fun. Hey, at least time flies when you're working your arse off, eh? ..eh?

How are you feeling otherwise, friendo?

What happened to less angry Greed, eh?

Well, it flies, I guess, but that means I don't have enough time to get the work done, hehe

I feel bloody tired, mostly. This is starting to take it's toll on me, thank god the terms are short here

Welp.. I have a lot more patience than I used to have, but I have my limits. Sometimes you just gotta snap, y'know?

Take your time, man. Better to do it slow and properly than doing it fast and messy.

Hey, don't sweat it. You're still pretty new to this kinda stuff. You'll get used to it eventually.

Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I've found myself too lazy to be angry most of the time though, hah.

I wish I had the time to do things properly, man. But from what I can tell that's just how things are around here.

I really need to get into the habit of going to bed sooner.

How do you even do that? I'm lazy as balls and just want to sleep most of the time and I still find the energy to flip **** .

Ehh, you gotta go a bit faster. Just a little for now, not too much. Gotta adjust your working tempo.

Hah, same. Guess I'm going to bed in about an hour. Not quite sleep, but bed. Drifting off while watching TV. More listening than watching, darn glasses.

I am a pioneer in not giving a **** .

Yeah, I know. I'll get used to it, I guess.

That sounds like a pretty good idea, I should try that.

Damn, I oughta try that.

I mean, it's not like you have much of a choice. Don't you dare let that golden opportunity slip.

Okay, here's the deal. Both of us lie down in about 45 minutes. No laptop, computer, TV, phone. Only TV or reading. Handhelds are permitted.

You in?

Yeah, give it a shot some time.

You're right, you're right. At least everyone else seems to be feeling the same way right now.

I would be in, but I've gotta go out and grab some food. After that, though, why not
See ya, pal.

Hmm, naah. I like being angry.

Heh, that's something. You got this, man. Doesn't have to be perfect. Just do it.

Man, screw food. Just sleep.

See ya later, Robbie.

Why would ya like being angry?

Yeah, I know, but I'd rather be as right as possible, heh.

You know, I should've listened. Despite this being all I ate all day, I now feel far too full.

I just do. Gives me the energy I need. Can't work properly without getting a little angry. If I'm not angry I'm just lazy. Dunno why, I'm just weird. You know me.

Ehh, don't turn into a perfectionist now. It'll get tedious fast, trust me on this one. Plus you'll take far too long for little things.

Told ya. Eating at this hour of day won't do you any good. I suggest going for some light snacks, like an apple, next time.

..uhh, I mean, yeah.

Eh, it makes sense. Wouldn't be much fun if the two of us were to roll the same way.

Yeah, I know, but I've gotta do my best, right?

Hehehe, you getting overprotective or something?

Hey, polar opposites attract each other, right?

Naah, don't always do your best. The better you do, the more will people expect you to do better each and every time. It's a vicious cycle. Just a suggestion coming from a sloth though, heh.

Hey, can't help it. You'll always be my little Robbie, after all.

Well, not too opposite, but yeah.

I can't afford to fall behind, though!

Hehe, well, it's nice to have someone out there looking out for me.

Hey, it's my favorite changeling!

How are you doing?

I was trying to go out and be social. Turns out I've left my wallet at home. All I can do is sit in bars, chug some beers and have friendly banter with some strangers, sooo..

Day 7 of NoFap and I really want to stick it into someone by now.

How are you doing?

Being the same pervy person as always, so happy I guess. Although, I may have a adverse effect on you trying to not fap.

Well, easy fix would be if you could move your butt over here...

What, and ruin your no cum~?

I was thinking something along the lines of sticking it up your pooper. That's permitted.

Or a warm mouth, wrapping around you and slowly dragging my wet tongue down the shaft, slowly gagging on your length as I look up at you, begging for your cum~?

Oh **** , this is hard. You know what else is hard?

The feeling of your cock in my ass, slamming away as I moan like a slut, the sound of flesh meeting flesh resounding over and over as you utterly ruin my ass with relentless slamming, needing to pump a changeling's ass full of cum~?

I can't take this.

You have volunteered to become a toy. Feel free to enjoy your stay, for you will never leave again.

Does this mean you'll cum extra hard for your toy?

YES. But I shall not break my oath.

Then I'll break it for you~!

But that wouldn't be breaking it. That would give some much needed release.

Well then, dear spider.

Shall I help you with your big heavy balls? With or without my hands of course~

Just don't do anything dumb and you'll be golden.

Greed, pal, you know me. I'm a professional at doing dumb things.

That's why I love you.
Don't mind the poking down there, my no fap November started three days ago.

Now why would you attempt a thing like that?

Attempt? ***** , Nofapovember is my bitch. That **** is easy!

Seems like an entirely masochistic endeavour to me.
Yeah I can reply to the right person shut up.