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demented    

Rank #1619 on Subscribers
demented Avatar Level 334 Comments: Practically Famous
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Age: 22
Steam Profile: thatDman
Video Games Played: TF2, Dota 2, Dark Souls, EU3, Dwarf Fortress
Date Signed Up:2/05/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#1628
Highest Content Rank:#1160
Highest Comment Rank:#2
Content Thumbs: 4089 total,  4644 ,  555
Comment Thumbs: 34612 total,  37943 ,  3331
Content Level Progress: 53% (53/100)
Level 140 Content: Faptastic → Level 141 Content: Faptastic
Comment Level Progress: 1.7% (17/1000)
Level 334 Comments: Practically Famous → Level 335 Comments: Practically Famous
Subscribers:51
Content Views:46202
Times Content Favorited:458 times
Total Comments Made:8539
FJ Points:25520
Favorite Tags: arnold (2) | hey (2)
Jesus christ I've been here for a long time

latest user's comments

#17 - My restaurant FPS >Be me age 20, skinny white dude…  [+] (16 new replies) 08/03/2014 on REKT +181
User avatar #214 - bulbasaurb (08/04/2014) [-]
In this context is FPS suppose to mean Front page Shit or what does it mean?
User avatar #209 - ninjamurai (08/04/2014) [-]
Thanks for the wonderful stories demented!
#20 - demented (08/03/2014) [-]
>The mother is apparently eating the WHOLE 12" in addition to the ENTIRE salad which has now been drenched in more dressing than a thanksgiving turkey.
>I head back toward the kitchen when they ask for more Parmesan cheese showing me their empty shaker
>I assumed I'd brought them an almost empty shaker until I'd returned with the now full shaker and looked at her salad which is now coated with cheese in addition to dressing
>hand her the shaker and bail
>go back to helping other customers until she stomps and waddles her way back to me
>"We need more Parmesan cheese"
>at this point I KNOW I gave her a look
>but I reluctantly take the shaker back and start filling it until the owner comes from the back and says "Erik don't give them any more fucking cheese they've basically gotten a free extra cheese pizza because they've been dumping out the cheese directly onto it"
>Go back to the table to tell them what the owner told me
>The table looks like someone dusted everything with a generous helping of cheese, literally cannot see the pepperoni through the extra cheese and there's extra dressing EVERYWHERE
>Landwhale flips her shit and demands to talk to the owner
>lol OKAY
>Now the owner of this place is NOT a patient guy and HATES to get called on so much so he'll avoid any customer interaction when possible.
>In back when I hear a large crunching crash sound and inarticulate yelling
>Thank god we didn't have more customers in the shop at this point
>About 10 mins later he comes back to the back room
>Mfw he banned them
>Mfw she broke a table and punched a hole in the wall and he had her pay for damages
>Mfw I'm told if they ever show up again to have me and my bodybuilder co-worker escort them out to the parking lot and make them leave

That table looked like a bomb went off on it and there was cheese everywhere
User avatar #210 - nightlynutria (08/04/2014) [-]
your owner is the most badass person in the food industry
User avatar #77 - demented (08/03/2014) [-]
Bonus round: Large Marge and the Fat Barge

So this one requires a bit of backstory. One of the guys I work with is an alcoholic but a functioning one, he'll come in hungover basically daily and the owner, he and I all agree that so long as he doesn't fuck up and came function at normal levels we don't care. One thing about being hungover though is that you have VERY little patience for people.
One other special note is that the building this parlor is in is OLD and as such the AC is ass and it has no insulation which means hot in the summer and cold in the winter

>I'm working the late shift this time 4-closing which usually ends up about 11 but this is a SPECIAL WEEKEND
>It's 4th of July
>We stay open until people stop coming in
>I took this shift because the tips and bonus pay are just too juicy to overlook
>Fore mentioned coworker comes in at 4PM
>It's 4PM and he's hungover and he looks like shit, more so than usual
>Ask him about it
>His old man and he had a fight all day
>Give him some sympathy but tell him to suit up and get ready for the masses
>Day goes pretty chaotically but smooth as 4th of July can
>It's hot as BALLS behind the counter and most customers are just getting icecream and bailing for home because it was around 85 degrees out and Wisconsin people can't deal with the heat I'm from Florida I didn't care too much
>Around 10PM things are starting to wind down when in comes Large Marge with her gaggle of 5 friends all of equal proportions to beluga whales.
>They're all becoming obviously winded from standing in line
>Keep in mind it's at least 80 in this shop
>When they get to the front of the line they all have sweat on their billboard foreheads
>"We'd like 2 cornucopia's"

Continued
#85 - demented (08/03/2014) [-]
>This is a sundae but no not just any sundae this is our 2 quarts of ice cream sized sundae
>Coworkers and I all shoot her death glares because we're already busy as fuck and this takes at least 2 people to people to prepare before it melts
>She wants two which is enough to feed about 10 people
>Get the flavors and topping she wants and ring her up each of these things are about 30 dollars to give you an idea of how fucking big they are it's a party item
>Somehow manage to get it together in a timely fashion and still keep up with crowd
>Haul them out to them in the back booth It was a popular spot for groups of 4 or more because it was secluded compared to the rest of the shop
>She gurgles something about napkins
>Bring them half of a pack which would nearly fill a dispenser
>Night goes on and figure they'd left sometime ago as it's nearing midnight and I hadn't seen them
>Coworker goes back toward the back booths to clean up
>Comes back after a few seconds
>"They're still fucking there"
>U wot
>Go check on them they're slowly eating the now melted bowls of milk and syrup and it smells like spoiled dairy
>Gag a bit
>Tell them we'll be closing soon as it's late
>"We're paying customers and your sign says you're open we'll be gone in a minute anyways"
>Not worth arguing and hold them to their word serve a couple stragglers as coworkers clean up behind the counters and get shit put away
>20 mins later
>Go check on them they're still their laughing in ways that causes tremors
>Coworker comes up behind me
>"GET YOUR FAT ASSES OUT OF HERE I WANT TO GO HOME YOU OBESE CUNTS"
>All visibly shaken as they file out through the front door gurgling obscenities
>Boss lets him off with verbal warning as we laugh it over
>Got a bad yelp review
#265 - nightlynutria (08/04/2014) [-]
"got a bad yelp review"
#202 - xxhadesflamesxx (08/04/2014) [-]
thanks for the stories m8
User avatar #194 - idelki (08/04/2014) [-]
Whooo, NE Wisconsin!

we have quite a few landwhales, dont we? ...
User avatar #262 - demented (08/04/2014) [-]
Well most of the hammoons we got were tourists but yeah
#193 - prtnchad (08/04/2014) [-]
I fucking love ham-planet stories. You sir have made my day.
#71 - crazypumkin (08/03/2014) [-]
WISCONSIN!!! there are so many fat asswhipes here
#41 - fatalhermit (08/03/2014) [-]
GIVE US MOAR!
#82 - saladtongsofdeath (08/03/2014) [-]
thats what landwhale said
User avatar #54 - incognitoad (08/03/2014) [-]
You really like stories about stupid fat people don't you?
#66 - shadownigga (08/03/2014) [-]
Yes
#53 - A cat is fine too 08/03/2014 on I love cat girls +1
#72 - Picture 08/01/2014 on NOT OC. Just wanna see how... +1
#91 - Thanks mate I needed that chuckle 08/01/2014 on Sexual Encounters +1
#56 - wow I think that's the most sane and relaxed conversation abou… 08/01/2014 on Gabriel Iglesias furry... +2
#124 - >Castlevania death sound >The fact that this exists … 08/01/2014 on Smoothest Motherf*cker ever +1
#12 - Surprisingly accurate roll  [+] (1 new reply) 08/01/2014 on Yearbook quote 0
#13 - runescapewasgood has deleted their comment.
#9 - Picture  [+] (1 new reply) 08/01/2014 on Yearbook quote -1
User avatar #10 - gamehartz (08/01/2014) [-]
are you new here?
#7 - Picture 08/01/2014 on Yearbook quote 0
#5 - First 4 comments have now been fully simulated.  [+] (2 new replies) 08/01/2014 on Yearbook quote +3
#6 - chokinandtokin (08/01/2014) [-]
#7 - demented (08/01/2014) [-]
#4 - Source? 08/01/2014 on Yearbook quote 0
#3 - Picture 08/01/2014 on Yearbook quote 0
#2 - First lol! xD  [+] (4 new replies) 08/01/2014 on Yearbook quote 0
User avatar #8 - gamehartz (08/01/2014) [-]
it took me 15 seconds to log in and laugh at your comments.

congratulations.
#9 - demented (08/01/2014) [-]
User avatar #10 - gamehartz (08/01/2014) [-]
are you new here?
#3 - demented (08/01/2014) [-]
#1 - Comment deleted 08/01/2014 on Yearbook quote 0
#17 - Here's the short version ALCOHOLISM … 08/01/2014 on Wait for it +4
#15 - This is useful info for me as I continue living in Florida 07/31/2014 on Scarfs +6
#6 - Nice job only one thing you missed in that and that's "Pe… 07/31/2014 on Word crimes +3
#3 - Well your English is really good from what I've seen; good job!  [+] (5 new replies) 07/31/2014 on Word crimes +2
User avatar #4 - scandinavianpedo (07/31/2014) [-]
thanks, its a mix of spell check and google translate surprisingly enough, being bi lingual helps me a lot, if i cant spell a word correctly in any sensible way i end up writing in the other language and use google translate
but the main problem i have is the amount of time and effort writing a long comment like this takes, i have to read trough it 5-6 times to be sure it makes since, and i still miss stuff.

its really annoying, if i write a witty comment or something it comes out all mangled and unreadable, and it completely undermines my point.

luckily i am the point were i can express myself properly now without to many problems.

time used to write this: 15min
times i used translate: 16
times i used spell check: i don't even know
but i don't need any sympathy from anyone any more, just keep in mind there is people like me in the internet =P
User avatar #61 - badmonkey (07/31/2014) [-]
*sense
User avatar #10 - banjodance (07/31/2014) [-]
wrong 'too' in 'too many problems'.
not being a dick, just trying to help.
#9 - anonymous (07/31/2014) [-]
The important fact though, is that you care enough to make sure that your writing is the best it can be and that really makes all the difference; you've spent time and effort on it. Keep up the good work.
User avatar #6 - demented (07/31/2014) [-]
Nice job only one thing you missed in that and that's "People" in the spoiler is used in the plural form so it should be "There are people" And I could see how humor wouldn't translate well, it rarely does.
#14 - And here I was about to call you thinking you hadn't seen the … 07/31/2014 on Snake Sweater 0
#19 - You would man, you would 07/31/2014 on Such is life 0
#54 - to clarify the artist is Po-ju 07/28/2014 on Gotta love porn +3
#3 - I'm confused as to how cock-blocking a complete dickhole is a …  [+] (9 new replies) 07/27/2014 on The gay avenger +246
User avatar #7 - worldatarms (07/27/2014) [-]
No, I meant the douche is the douche.
He was being a dick by hitting on women who he perfectly well knew was lesbian.
Not the gay guy.
User avatar #64 - zombifier (07/27/2014) [-]
yet to find a woman who is actually a lesbian, any woman can be talked into the bed
User avatar #35 - Killerwale (07/27/2014) [-]
you could've added that to your first post, save a lot of unneeded rustling
User avatar #42 - worldatarms (07/27/2014) [-]
I didn't know so many people would think that the gay would be the douchy one in that situation.
User avatar #37 - thebaseballexpert (07/27/2014) [-]
i understood that from his first post.. yall people are just retarded
#38 - Killerwale (07/27/2014) [-]
cool story bro, how about you tell me the story about how your father knows Giorgio Armani and you got a suit from him.
#40 - thebaseballexpert (07/27/2014) [-]
um. My father apparently know Giorgio Armani and I guess I got a free suit or something
User avatar #41 - Killerwale (07/27/2014) [-]
Oh shit Really? yo I gotta see that tonight at the club bro.
#43 - thebaseballexpert (07/27/2014) [-]
I'll see you there!
#9 - no 07/27/2014 on Danny Sexbang Quotes 0
#8 - Mate I'd do things to your asshole if I could 07/24/2014 on Humans vs animals 0
#91 - it worries me that I recognize that picture from the doujin 07/23/2014 on bible black +2
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #386 - demented ONLINE (08/20/2014) [-]
I think Comicexplain is a guy so.
Comicexplain, what's the best series to read to get into the Guardians of the Galaxy. I heard the movie is better having some background on the characters through the comics. Just looking for suggestions as I'm pretty clueless in that area,
User avatar #387 to #386 - comicexplain ONLINE (08/20/2014) [-]
Honestly, I suggest starting from the beginning, or if you'd like, from each of their separate origin stories, in order to get the collective sphere of information! The movie is actually best to watch first, in order to get the devil of the details!
User avatar #388 to #387 - demented ONLINE (08/20/2014) [-]
Cool deal. Any specific titles I should look for to get the origin stories?
Also ever read Atomic Robo, that's one of my favorites.
#385 to #384 - demented ONLINE (08/12/2014) [-]
Please man I'm starting to get friction burns
Please man I'm starting to get friction burns
User avatar #383 - joshlol (05/03/2014) [-]
thanks
#379 - DemonMatt (01/16/2014) [-]
Luigi squeegee.
User avatar #373 - teenspirit ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
All dat tf2 you've played
User avatar #374 to #373 - demented ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
I've also put like 500 hours into Dota in like 4 months :U
User avatar #375 to #374 - teenspirit ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
The game i've played the most is CSS, and I only have 187 hours in it..
User avatar #372 - WindblownRebel (08/21/2013) [-]
( ͡ Lel ʖ ͡ DYEL )
#368 - teenspirit ONLINE (08/18/2013) [-]
Random question
Do you have skype?
User avatar #369 to #368 - demented ONLINE (08/18/2013) [-]
yeah
User avatar #370 to #369 - teenspirit ONLINE (08/18/2013) [-]
I just wanted to know
For reasons
User avatar #371 to #370 - demented ONLINE (08/18/2013) [-]
Right
#355 - WindblownRebel (06/26/2013) [-]
Lurking. Because I can.
#356 to #355 - demented ONLINE (06/26/2013) [-]
K :U
#357 to #356 - WindblownRebel (06/26/2013) [-]
No u x3

Btw, still in Florida or are you/will you be in WI? Sorry to totally creep on you, but it intrigues me that you visit Green Bay.
User avatar #358 to #357 - demented ONLINE (06/26/2013) [-]
Still in Sister Bay. Might stay up here for the fall really debating it.
User avatar #359 to #358 - WindblownRebel (06/26/2013) [-]
Probably easier than traveling around a lot, huh? ^^ I started thinking a lot about people I used to talk to a lot, and about how out of touch I got with just about everyone... I hope you don't feel uncomfortable or anything, but if you ever wanna text, just ask for the number.
User avatar #360 to #359 - demented ONLINE (06/26/2013) [-]
No, no problem. Mostly it's just me trying to pin down exactly what I want to go back to school for and I have some non-school options here. I went down to a radio-broadcast job fair last Wednesday and some of the people there had some good interest in me doing voice work so I might try and get a demo tape together sometime soon.
User avatar #361 to #360 - WindblownRebel (06/26/2013) [-]
I think you would be well-suited to that, hope that goes well for you. Personally, I have a bunch of things to work out in my life, too. Not quite as long-term as that, but it resonates.
User avatar #362 to #361 - demented ONLINE (06/26/2013) [-]
Still doing dance? What've you got going on?
User avatar #363 to #362 - WindblownRebel (06/26/2013) [-]
I need to find a new place to dance, there's really only lessons available here that I found online. Basically, a lot of staying home and resting up after school and moving here (AKA sleeping like 13 hours a day.) I made a few friends this year before finals, and they had me over for a party... which wasn't a disaster like I had anticipated.

Able to add me back on Skype? I tend to not use FJ as a messaging system these days.
User avatar #364 to #363 - demented ONLINE (06/26/2013) [-]
I don't know if I ever removed you I have a tendency to never remove anyone from anything.
User avatar #365 to #364 - WindblownRebel (06/26/2013) [-]
Hnn, I currently go as "Somebody" on Skype, so if that's in your list then you never removed me xP
User avatar #366 to #365 - demented ONLINE (06/26/2013) [-]
No I have Windi in my list though but it doesn't seem like its active
User avatar #367 to #366 - WindblownRebel (06/26/2013) [-]
Weird. Is the username WindblownRebel?
User avatar #354 - ariusbrightwing (06/21/2013) [-]
'Ey Dem, long time no squak. ovO
User avatar #351 - ariusbrightwing (05/22/2013) [-]
:v Churp churp. ♥
User avatar #352 to #351 - demented ONLINE (05/23/2013) [-]
hurrrr hurrr :Y
User avatar #353 to #352 - ariusbrightwing (05/23/2013) [-]
Peep. <v>
#343 - Zhuan (03/14/2013) [-]
You were one of my first friends, but I don't think we've ever talked before now, who u b?
User avatar #344 to #343 - demented ONLINE (03/14/2013) [-]
I be pretty good.
#345 to #344 - Zhuan (03/14/2013) [-]
Well that's good to hear, but who, u b?

As you know i'm Zhuan, nice to meet ya', finally.
User avatar #346 to #345 - demented ONLINE (03/14/2013) [-]
Hello, I'm not really active here much anymore I've moved semi-permanently to 4chan and steam. I'm only here for the giggles.
#347 to #346 - Zhuan (03/14/2013) [-]
Alright, I just saw you online and you've been in my friends list for like, ever. So I decided to drop by, glad to hear you're doing well.
User avatar #348 to #347 - demented ONLINE (03/14/2013) [-]
Yepper I'm good. Nothing really to report otherwise.
#349 to #348 - Zhuan (03/14/2013) [-]
Okai, i'll leave you to go about your business.

*Fire poof*
User avatar #338 - ariusbrightwing (03/11/2013) [-]
D3m, it's been ages... how have ya been? ÓvÒ
User avatar #339 to #338 - demented ONLINE (03/12/2013) [-]
I've been on Steam a lot more than FJ and 4chan just as much as steam.
User avatar #340 to #339 - ariusbrightwing (03/12/2013) [-]
Ah nice. <v> But I was asking a bit more about yooh than the stuff you do. >v<
User avatar #341 to #340 - demented ONLINE (03/13/2013) [-]
Uh overall I'm fine.
User avatar #342 to #341 - ariusbrightwing (03/13/2013) [-]
That's good. ^v^
#328 - teenspirit ONLINE (02/10/2013) [-]
Demented..Come hug me bro
#329 to #328 - demented ONLINE (02/10/2013) [-]
okay
#330 to #329 - teenspirit ONLINE (02/10/2013) [-]
I miss all of my old friends..
User avatar #331 to #330 - demented ONLINE (02/10/2013) [-]
Sorry I hang out a lot on 4chan and steam now
#332 to #331 - teenspirit ONLINE (02/10/2013) [-]
I have steam
User avatar #333 to #332 - demented ONLINE (02/10/2013) [-]
id/thatdman
#334 to #333 - teenspirit ONLINE (02/10/2013) [-]
I couldn't find it.. Gimme link?
#336 to #335 - teenspirit ONLINE (02/10/2013) [-]
The master rusemen?
User avatar #337 to #336 - demented ONLINE (02/10/2013) [-]
It's a highlander team
#324 - Sunset has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #325 to #324 - demented ONLINE (02/04/2013) [-]
I-I don't honestly remember it's been so long since I really talked to anyone here.
#326 to #325 - Sunset has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #327 to #326 - demented ONLINE (02/05/2013) [-]
What a story, Mark
User avatar #311 - HIMTheSixSixSix (01/01/2013) [-]
Goddamn, it's been a long time since any of the usual back and forth...
User avatar #312 to #311 - demented ONLINE (01/01/2013) [-]
Yes, yes it has :U
User avatar #310 - teenspirit ONLINE (10/02/2012) [-]
Bro....just...bro....I ******* missed you man. Was looking through some old comments when I saw you.
User avatar #313 to #310 - demented ONLINE (01/01/2013) [-]
I love you too teen
User avatar #308 - Bacula ONLINE (08/04/2012) [-]
Hey, i accidentally removed you on steam and for some reason steam is being really ****** atm so i cant add you back.

Could you send me a request? My ID is deathtore.
User avatar #309 to #308 - demented ONLINE (08/04/2012) [-]
leave your steam ID in a reply and I'll re-add when I get the chance
User avatar #307 - nITE (05/17/2012) [-]
how do you change a .wlmp to a video, I seem to forgot
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