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crlmsonhazard

Rank #109 on Content
crlmsonhazard Avatar Level 224 Comments: Mind Blower
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Last status update:
And to think I used to be such a beloved troll. Oh how the mighty have fallen. I have one more comeback in me thoughcomment
Personal Info
Gender: male
Age: 28
Date Signed Up:12/01/2015
Last Login:1/12/2016
Location:Ohio
FunnyJunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#109
Comment Ranking:#678
Highest Content Rank:#109
Highest Comment Rank:#383
Content Thumbs: 15532 total,  16915 ,  1383
Comment Thumbs: 2975 total,  10046 ,  7071
Content Level Progress: 91.2% (456/500)
Level 211 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 212 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 14% (14/100)
Level 224 Comments: Mind Blower → Level 225 Comments: Mind Blower
Subscribers:7
Content Views:766987
Times Content Favorited:1275 times
Total Comments Made:1361
FJ Points:371

latest user's comments

#2 - Why should they help? Those whores arent going to grant them p…  [+] (13 new replies) 12/31/2015 on Where only showbiz loses +10
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#6 - distortedflare (12/31/2015) [-]
The fact they are probably not going to fuck them makes them whores?
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#11 - theist (12/31/2015) [-]
You don't get to that level of sexual manipulation without first actually having sex with someone for something you wanted.
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#17 - distortedflare (12/31/2015) [-]
Are you trolling? They hardly say anything she gives a coy smile that is about it.
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#18 - theist (01/01/2016) [-]
you don't know how common flirting works, do you?
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#7 - assassindash (12/31/2015) [-]
No, the fact they're using their sex appeal to get someone else to do what they want so they can lounge is what makes them whores.

If they DID fuck them over that, than they'd be sluts.

The best move is to simply ask for some help without flashing your tits or dick like how a normal human being is supposed to act.
User avatar
#8 - schneidend (12/31/2015) [-]
They're...on the beach, in swimwear. How is that flashing their tits? Besides, the way this usually works, they ask guys they think are at least moderatively attractive to flirt with them. They don't ask greasy neckbeards. And, if no sex or makeouts result, that's not necessarily because the girls never intended to put out. It's a two-way street. A gal feeds you a line and you have to at least attempt to smoothly pull it in.
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#9 - assassindash (12/31/2015) [-]
While your first point stands, it doesn't make the initial problem i'm addressing non-existent.

So you're telling me, that I SHOULD help them because they MAY have an attraction for me? That there's a chance for them to diddle me D and finger their V?

Doesn't that make the reason for helping in the first place, oh, I don't know, selfish? Excuse me for being the kind of person who'd rather help purely for reasons of kindness.

Hell, if they tried to put out, i'd back the hell off because I don't know any of them. Who they are, what they've done, WHO they've done, or you know, even if they have STD's. Could be a super model and i'd still react the same.... In fact, even more so since woman like that could have, and if they made it that easy for a random guy who put out some help, probably has slept with a LOT of guys. Hence why they'd be sluts.

No thanks, I'd rather stick my dick in trustworthy, loyal, and who I already have some history with.
User avatar
#10 - schneidend (12/31/2015) [-]
Okay, so, what's the problem. They're not really doing anything shady, and you don't fuck strangers. How does that make them sluts, whores, or anything else derogatory?
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#12 - assassindash (12/31/2015) [-]
I'm talking the particular scenario at this point, I assume you read the spoiler at the beginning?

I'm particularly talking about your "you have to at least attempt to smoothly pull it in." Line.
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#13 - schneidend (12/31/2015) [-]
Eh? It's only an imperative if you're pursuant of sex, which was established in the two sentences immediately preceding that one. I never suggested you literally had to try to fuck everything that flirted with you. I was asserting that just because sex doesn't happen does not mean anybody was somehow let on or tricked.
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#14 - assassindash (12/31/2015) [-]
Alright, just to clear this up before we continue, you know what i'm saying is pretty much, "Using sex appeal to get people to do things for you despite only meeting them recently is bad." Right?

It's not so much the actions that may or may not lead up to it, but doing exactly that from the start is what's the problem, and anything that comes from it immediately makes a villain out of the person who initiates the appeal. We on the same page?
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#15 - schneidend (12/31/2015) [-]
I can understand your point of view, but what I'm suggesting is that this isn't really so one-sided or nefarious as all that. Or, at least, it usually isn't. This is what's called an ice breaker. If the guys had a new boat and asked the girls to help them break it in, it'd basically be the same thing, and not some villainous flaunting of wealth to bait the opposite sex. Asking people for favors to which they can easily say no is an easy way to approach strangers. This is basic socializing.
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#16 - assassindash (12/31/2015) [-]
Nothing wrong with asking for help or favors from strangers, never said there was, I said the only problem is when people try and passive aggressively use their looks, such as bending down farther than they need to, standing straighter and puffing out their chest, or various other appeasement tricks as a means to convince you to do their tasks for them is what's wrong.

I'm not talking about the content in particular, just so were clear. There are actually a decent sum of people who do this, and they always irritate me to no end.
#11159499 - My new account mascot is Oolong. Be advised.  [+] (3 new replies) 12/31/2015 on Happy little board +1
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#11159506 - nelliel (12/31/2015) [-]
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#11159493 to #11159487 - spelly (36 seconds ago)
new
#11159464 to #11159450 - spelly (11 minutes ago) [-]
i'd lick your feet
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#11159502 - cuzsunny (12/31/2015) [-]
Oolong is pretty decent tea
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#11159501 - spelly (12/31/2015) [-]
no
#67 - This gash deserves to be killed 12/31/2015 on 4'11 girl demands 6' guy +11
#7 - Only got a chance with her if you're a millionaire, really tal… 12/31/2015 on wonderful day 0
#54 - This game is utter **** . You wasted 60 dollars you coul…  [+] (7 new replies) 12/31/2015 on Curie too cute. -73
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#152 - demonroex (12/31/2015) [-]
obvious troll is obvious
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#125 - putinlover (12/31/2015) [-]
While you go fill your face with bigmacs, he will be enjoying carrie.
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#98 - wrpen (12/31/2015) [-]
>big macs
>yummy
get fuckin dunked on kid, say that to my face not over the internet see what happens
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#63 - Furry (12/31/2015) [-]
90 dollars*
Season pass
#58 - marstan (12/31/2015) [-]
#130 - captnnorway (12/31/2015) [-]
User avatar
#89 - satansferret (12/31/2015) [-]
and you responded.
#4 - Pretty sure angry patrons would return said audio book 12/31/2015 on beautiful 0
#50 - Thats what you get for bringing an innocent life into a terrib…  [+] (3 new replies) 12/31/2015 on Asshole Parents -14
#87 - limerslimer (12/31/2015) [-]
I understand that crlmsonhazard is a prolific shitposter, but why the red thumbs? That was legitimately really funny.
#96 - ftsfts (12/31/2015) [-]
Hivemind reflex, people either insta red thumb known shitposters even when they quit shitposting for example when beibersgotswaq started being cool or they also thumb the same as everyone else so if its green it stays green and same with red.
User avatar
#78 - therealguysips (12/31/2015) [-]
Oolong best Dragon Ball character.
#20 - >fatshaming  [+] (2 new replies) 12/31/2015 on Lez be friends -77
#27 - hurpfry (12/31/2015) [-]
>shitposting
#68 - jii (01/10/2016) [-]
>taking obvious bait
#3 - He must have just got done watching Force Awakens  [+] (1 new reply) 12/31/2015 on beautiful -1
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#5 - thepizzadevourer (12/31/2015) [-]
C'mon, people. We should recognize crim as a troll by now.
#4 - I looked it up. No professional snugglers anywhere near me  [+] (4 new replies) 12/31/2015 on Weird Jobs +26
#5 - mattygosling (12/31/2015) [-]
niche in the market? start it up
#6 - crlmsonhazard (12/31/2015) [-]
...not seeing any downsides
#26 - mattygosling (01/01/2016) [-]
im not or youre not?
#12 - anon (12/31/2015) [-]
> old fags
> virign greasy neckbeards.
> Tards

I'd rather not snuggle with dose
#2 - I've been waiting for Sonic Adventure 3 since June 19, 2001. Kill me 12/31/2015 on the games still on! 0
#7 - So If I wanna get laid I basically have to settle for ebony. F…  [+] (1 new reply) 12/31/2015 on R.I.P in peace world -1
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#8 - deutschblut (12/31/2015) [-]
Yeah, which is funny, because they all be chasin afta dem white bitches...

Worse than jealous Leroy Jones poppin a cap in yo ass, how are you going to date a black girl with NAPS in her PUBES?
#4 - Its **** but its better than suicidal loneliness 12/31/2015 on IT's A TRAP 0
#2 - Picture  [+] (3 new replies) 12/31/2015 on Trying to impress girls +19
#27 - anon (12/31/2015) [-]
the music that plays during this scene is fucking amazing
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#28 - margotka (12/31/2015) [-]
name of that song pls?
#29 - anon (12/31/2015) [-]
Chaos Chaos (formerly Smoosh) - Do You Feel It?
Do You Feel It? - Chaos Chaos
#4 - Living in America sucks. Does Scandanavia have a shortage of c… 12/31/2015 on Average Americans 0
#4 - thats how fast women run when I approach them  [+] (2 new replies) 12/31/2015 on Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing +6
#35 - thedankmemer (12/31/2015) [-]
Too many feels
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#5 - elvoz (12/31/2015) [-]
Backwards, too.
#4 - Kanye West has 21 Grammys  [+] (3 new replies) 12/31/2015 on epic streep +13
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#9 - fatminion (12/31/2015) [-]
does he really? Damn... I've never heard even one single song from him. Just goes to show that such awards are simply circle-jerks. "we should give awards to one of the artists we pay to make music for us." "But sir, what about artitsts from other labels?" "No no, they have to be from one of the labels that all of us on the juding panel are from. Oh, and they have to officially sell their music through channels we control - otherwise they can't be considered for nomination for 'best album of the year'"
User avatar
#10 - RisenLichen (12/31/2015) [-]
A lot of his older stuff is good. His personality is just.. not the best.

His genre may not be your thing, maybe. but that doesnt mean the music he makes is bad
#21 - anon (12/31/2015) [-]
Nothing is "bad", everything like that is subjective, but if you've listened to more music than just what they play on the radio, you realize that it's generic and unoriginal.

This may not mean a lot to most people, but for the people who can hear that shit, it means that every song he makes is just the same constant droning you've heard before in other songs.
#22 - why does everybody like this gash?  [+] (6 new replies) 12/31/2015 on Doesn't have the same ring... -13
#37 - ohemgeezus (12/31/2015) [-]
crimson, I like you as a shitposter and everything, you know that, but no
#35 - improbablyyourdad (12/31/2015) [-]
Shes got cute stubby legs? Idfk m8
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#24 - greeneyedgamer (12/31/2015) [-]
It's almost like different people have different opinions or something.
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#71 - purdon (12/31/2015) [-]
Are you sure it's not because she's a girl?
#29 - anon (12/31/2015) [-]
BS

We l know that it gets the atention so long as it is a female
User avatar
#26 - xsap (12/31/2015) [-]
thats illigal, u cant do that
#205626 - Just get a hot woman to ride your schlong, pleb 12/30/2015 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#11157273 - Picture  [+] (1 new reply) 12/30/2015 on Happy little board 0
#11157275 - tarabostes (12/30/2015) [-]
#38586 - Am willing to discuss any of the films 12/30/2015 on Television - cartoon... 0
#38585 - I watched the prequels for the very first time this week and …  [+] (4 new replies) 12/30/2015 on Television - cartoon... +3
#38600 - anon (12/30/2015) [-]
Prequels were fine.

The only people that say this are people that jerk off to the originals, who were both butthurt that that they didnt live up to their impossible stratospheric expectations and blinded by their nostalgia goggles to the originals' numerous flaws.

This is pretty much how I see every Star Wars fan. I don't think I've ever met an adult who watched Star Wars for the first time and thought it was anything less than a "meh" bad acted 70's movie.
User avatar
#38593 - eight (12/30/2015) [-]
Finally someone that sees reason. The prequels are good films. Not masterpieces. Not disasters.

Also, I don't really consider Anakin's fall to the dark side to be fast. It's heavily implied that Palpatine has been grooming him for over a decade, especially in the past couple of years in Revenge of The Sith where they've grown close as friends.
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#38587 - alcoholicsemen (12/30/2015) [-]
if we being honest havent seen any of the actual films but the parodies
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#38586 - crlmsonhazard (12/30/2015) [-]
Am willing to discuss any of the films
#11157261 - You remembered this for over five years...yet somehow Im suppo…  [+] (3 new replies) 12/30/2015 on Happy little board 0
#11157270 - tarabostes (12/30/2015) [-]
.................I just googled your name and ''funnyjunk"
Man you're a compact bastard
#11157273 - crlmsonhazard (12/30/2015) [-]
#11157275 - tarabostes (12/30/2015) [-]
#11157259 - Believe it or not, even though Im a mega troll, I very rarely …  [+] (1 new reply) 12/30/2015 on Happy little board 0
#11157260 - funnaycraptwo (12/30/2015) [-]
Whenever I get thumbed down I always shrug it off.

Why should I care that someone is having a negative opinion of me when I already have so many non-existent index fingers?
#11157215 - Now that's an image I've not seen in a long time.  [+] (1 new reply) 12/30/2015 on Happy little board 0
#11157218 - tarabostes (12/30/2015) [-]
Yes , your faggotry has existed for a long time , it wasn't just the idiotic comments you make on the front page

Comments(23):

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23 comments displayed.
User avatar #22 - mouldysandals (01/07/2016) [-]
thanks ma n !
User avatar #23 to #22 - crlmsonhazard (01/07/2016) [-]
you're welcome
#20 - anon (01/04/2016) [-]
why do you suck so much at *********** ?
User avatar #16 - mudkipfucker (12/31/2015) [-]
wasnt there a troll account called oolong ?
User avatar #17 to #16 - crlmsonhazard (12/31/2015) [-]
Didn't think anybody remembered that. It was one of my failed experiments: A troll account shared by multiple people. I let a few randos in on the fun and somebody changed the password, and I didnt have an email backup because I hate getting spammed to kingdom come.
User avatar #21 to #17 - pinecest (01/04/2016) [-]
Yeah, I remember that account. I used to go on it sometimes. I remember one of the last comments I wrote on that account was the magnum opus of nasty.
/They+re+too+fucking+nice/funny-pictures/5628050/46#46
User avatar #19 to #17 - oolong (01/01/2016) [-]
It was fun changing the password of the account. I was almost afraid it would get changed again, but i figured noone would make a backup for some failed troll account. Now it's my go-to porn browsing account. I love getting stuff for free, even if it's sloppy leftovers.
User avatar #18 to #17 - mudkipfucker (01/01/2016) [-]
yeah, the fact you were posting oolong reminded me of it lol
User avatar #13 - murrlogic (12/31/2015) [-]
Dragonball kick?
User avatar #14 to #13 - crlmsonhazard (12/31/2015) [-]
Oolong is the new mascot for the time being
#15 to #14 - murrlogic (12/31/2015) [-]
I take great enjoyment in your ***********

Saddens me greatly my *********** will never be half as good
User avatar #12 - jonnyfrosty (12/21/2015) [-]
Dedication
#11 - warioteam (12/17/2015) [-]
i ******* knew it
User avatar #9 - BROOKE (12/13/2015) [-]
I like your text color
User avatar #10 to #9 - tarabostes (12/16/2015) [-]
I like yours too brooke <3
#8 - anon (12/13/2015) [-]
User avatar #7 - Sunset ONLINE (12/12/2015) [-]
good memes friend
User avatar #6 - regularorange (12/12/2015) [-]
Do you know chef?
#2 - itskennyandjosh ONLINE (12/11/2015) [-]
**itskennyandjosh used "*roll picture*"**
**itskennyandjosh rolled image**Wtf why are you *********** so much m8 **itskennyandjosh used "*roll 1, 000-999*"**
**itskennyandjosh rolls 903**
User avatar #3 to #2 - crlmsonhazard (12/11/2015) [-]
i always ******** . It just so happens today I didnt try to make it funny
User avatar #1 - yugiohkris ONLINE (12/01/2015) [-]
Hello, and welcome to Funnyjunk! I'm yugiohkris, one of the site's mods(I swear I'm not a bot). Thanks for making an account at funnyjunk, please feel free to post content, comments, or just hang around the boards. If you have any questions please ask me or ask here: /askamod/
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