captainpatters

Rank #7556 on Content
captainpatters Avatar Level 264 Comments: Pure Win
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Gender: male
Steam Profile: Captain_Patters
Consoles Owned: PC Gaming mustard race
Interests: Catching criminal scum, praising the empire/emperor
Date Signed Up:12/16/2011
Last Login:1/30/2015
Location:Kent
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#7556
Comment Ranking:#19081
Highest Content Rank:#335
Highest Comment Rank:#1059
Content Thumbs: 15314 total,  17253 ,  1939
Comment Thumbs: 7493 total,  8547 ,  1054
Content Level Progress: 23.8% (238/1000)
Level 213 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 214 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 79% (79/100)
Level 264 Comments: Pure Win → Level 265 Comments: Pure Win
Subscribers:3
Content Views:939761
Times Content Favorited:629 times
Total Comments Made:942
FJ Points:19724
Favorite Tags: Polandball (6) | War (4) | Big (3) | i (3) | and (2) | butts (2) | eu (2) | hairyball (2) | in (2) | meaty (2) | russia (2) | sweatyball (2) | sweatyballs (2) | ukraine (2) | usa (2)
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latest user's comments

#62 - No it isnt. And anyone who says it is is talking out of their …  [+] (4 new replies) 06/16/2014 on Confirmation Bias +8
User avatar #182 - MasterManiac (06/16/2014) [-]
I agree with you, but a console requires a TV/monitor and everyone will also have a computer for other tasks meaning the cost isn't as straightforward as it would appear. To be fair you'd have to consider how much would be spent on a console as well as computer for other tasks as opposed to a gaming rig used for both work and gaming.
User avatar #79 - kinginyellow (06/16/2014) [-]
What? Only xbox has an online fee, so wouldn't getting a PS4 save as much in the long run? Or a wii-u?
User avatar #83 - captainpatters (06/16/2014) [-]
You have to pay for the Playstation now. And the Wii U's hardware is totally obsolete compared to PC's while it costs a lot less. I think that the Wii U is totally in a different market to the other gaming systems, it's its own thing and its fucking awesome. I'd recommend it over any other console any day.
#75 - anonymous (06/16/2014) [-]
Well, it is somewhat possible, but usually if someone gives you an example they aren't including the cost of a monitor, kb/m, operating system, etc., whereas that sort of peripheral generally already comes with a console or most everyone has one, like a tv.

But none of that matters anyway because even if you were to build a PC that's exactly as powerful as one of the new consoles, it still won't perform as well. It's all about optimization, and no developer is optimizing to your specific gaming rig the way they do with consoles.
#85 - I did once get tipped £20 for showing an obese American famil… 06/16/2014 on Life in the US +4
#66 - Funniest 90 minutes of my life 06/14/2014 on NSFW 0
#97 - >Is wrong >Calls people retarded for telling him he'… 06/13/2014 on Car Ticket 0
#175 - All this American butthurt 06/13/2014 on WTF Facts Compilation - Part 4 -3
#75 - I've never had good Danish beer. I mainly go for the classic E…  [+] (1 new reply) 06/12/2014 on WTF Facts Compilation - Part 4 +1
#304 - radiserne (06/13/2014) [-]
Then you haven't tasted a whole lot.
#42 - But I didn't use my existence to debunk a claim  [+] (1 new reply) 06/12/2014 on WTF Facts Compilation - Part 4 -15
#82 - anonymous (06/12/2014) [-]
My nigga, take 30 minutes and go through this. Lots of countries have some great beers, and this includes the US. Europeans and, occasionally, Brazil dominate the lagers, Britain, the US, and Canada rock the ales.

www.worldbeerawards.com/
#307 - Dis ***** srs? 06/12/2014 on don't be a pleb +1
#23 - This means nothing to me  [+] (4 new replies) 06/12/2014 on WTF Facts Compilation - Part 4 -9
#114 - mayoroftownsville (06/12/2014) [-]
If you don't know about one of the most decorated breweries in the United States, why are you talking shit about our beer? Because you don't like Budweiser? That's like judging Germany on Oettinger or Krombacher.
#41 - popnotes (06/12/2014) [-]
You mean nothing to me.
User avatar #42 - captainpatters (06/12/2014) [-]
But I didn't use my existence to debunk a claim
#82 - anonymous (06/12/2014) [-]
My nigga, take 30 minutes and go through this. Lots of countries have some great beers, and this includes the US. Europeans and, occasionally, Brazil dominate the lagers, Britain, the US, and Canada rock the ales.

www.worldbeerawards.com/
#4 - American Beer isn't drinkable in the first place  [+] (37 new replies) 06/12/2014 on WTF Facts Compilation - Part 4 +469
#237 - ztron (06/13/2014) [-]
I know it's "shit flavored" compared to most other beers, but fuck me if I don't feel patriotic as fuck while chugging Budweisers.
#175 - captainpatters (06/13/2014) [-]
All this American butthurt
#157 - anonymous (06/13/2014) [-]
"American Beer" includes all 2,800 American breweries and the 20,000 different beers they make....sure why the fuck not.

For reference Germany has 1300 breweries producing over 5000 brands. Belgium has 180 breweries. Wisconsin by itself has 102.
#144 - skubasteve (06/12/2014) [-]
We beg to differ.

• Gold Medal for Stone Old Guardian Barley Wine at the World Beer Championships (2002)
• Gold Medal for Stone IPA at the Stockholm Beer & Whiskey Festival (2007)
• Gold Medal for Stone Imperial Russian Stout at the Australian International Beer Awards (2007)
• Bronze Medal for Stone IPA at the Australian International Beer Awards (2007)
• Silver Medal for Stone Pale Ale at the European Beer Star Awards (2009)
• Silver Medal for Stone IPA at the European Beer Star Awards (2010)
• Gold Medal for Stone Smoked Porter at the Asia Beer Awards (2010)
• Silver Medal for Stone Imperial Russian Stout at the Asia Beer Awards (2010)
• Silver Medal for Stone Sublimely Self Righteous Ale at the Australian International Beer Awards (2011)
• Silver Medal for Stone Imperial Russian Stout at the Australian International Beer Awards (2011)
• Greg Koch named "Most Admired CEO" by San Diego Business Journal for privately held, large company (2012)
• Stone Brewing World Bistro & Gardens achieves certification under SITES (2012)

We know good beer in San Diego.
#305 - anonymous (06/13/2014) [-]
you do realize that this medal ranking for drinks means absolutely nothing, don't you? because those are given away by multiples for contest, not a 1 medal/contest, that means 100+ beers could win gold
User avatar #143 - endboss (06/12/2014) [-]
German, Belgian, or Dutch beer. It'll be all the beer you'll ever need in your life.

not every brand in those countries is good ofc.
User avatar #147 - endboss (06/12/2014) [-]
Sorry, forgot to mention england for their stout.
#100 - anonymous (06/12/2014) [-]
People who care so much about their beer are such fags I can understand about shit like natties and keystones, but when you start bitching about bud light and budweiser as being watered down you just sound like a stuck up douche. You think you're cool because you only drink beer no one has heard of and if you actually went to a party with you're own expensive crap no one has heard of people will just think of you as a loser. So get off your high horse and learn to live a little.
#166 - anonmynous (06/13/2014) [-]
Colorado alone, the state I live in, has over 200 breweries. All of these breweries make delicious brown ale's, porters, IPA's, belgians, etc many of which have an abv of 8% to 10%. You could walk into a liquor store every day for 5 years and try a completely new, locally brewed, high percentage, uniquely delicious beer. Or, like you say, you could "live a little" and drink budweiser for the rest of your life which only makes lagers that rarely reach 5% abv.
#158 - anonymous (06/13/2014) [-]
I prefer to live a little with something that actually tastes good. Sam Adams, Leinenkugel, New Belgium, etc are all infinitely better than Bud or Miller and are available everywhere, for like $4 more per case. They are huge fucking breweries, if knowing shitty beer tastes like shit makes you pretentious then everyone outside a trailer park or college falls int hat category. Drink all the fucking Bud you want but don't you fucking bitch when I show up with New Belgium Fat Tire, because I enjoy flavor.
User avatar #152 - masterfaps (06/12/2014) [-]
Fuck beer in the first place drink whiskey.
User avatar #227 - sardinez (06/13/2014) [-]
its two different kinds of drinking imo. drinking beer youre not trying to get blackout drunk like when you are drinking hard stuff, it's more about maintaining that relaxing buzz only beer gives you
User avatar #228 - masterfaps (06/13/2014) [-]
I drink whiskey to relax . You can get blackout drunk on just about anything it's all in moderation.
User avatar #230 - sardinez (06/13/2014) [-]
to each his own
#221 - supercookieduster (06/13/2014) [-]
User avatar #232 - masterfaps (06/13/2014) [-]
Because if you do that wrong your asking to puke.
#87 - anonymous (06/12/2014) [-]
Right, because everyone knows Bud and MillerCoors are the only beer companies in the entire country.
User avatar #80 - yuukoku (06/12/2014) [-]
Shiner Bock
#198 - broale (06/13/2014) [-]
I found my fellow Texan.
#200 - yuukoku (06/13/2014) [-]
fuck yeah texas
#264 - broale (06/13/2014) [-]
#72 - failtolawl (06/12/2014) [-]
ugh, american beer so pussy! they no nothing of how to drunk stronk danmerk beir!
User avatar #75 - captainpatters (06/12/2014) [-]
I've never had good Danish beer. I mainly go for the classic English and Belgian stuff
#304 - radiserne (06/13/2014) [-]
Then you haven't tasted a whole lot.
#71 - anonymous (06/12/2014) [-]
*Barley water
User avatar #38 - maddboiy (06/12/2014) [-]
It's like making love in a canoe. It's fucking close to water.
User avatar #101 - lolzordz (06/12/2014) [-]
its like a joke thats old and overused, its old and overused.
User avatar #34 - thechosentroll (06/12/2014) [-]
But it'll be invaluable in the event of a nuclear apocalypse. Do you have any idea what people would do for a bottle of tap water?
User avatar #32 - alexandrz (06/12/2014) [-]
Emergency water, tho.
#14 - mayoroftownsville (06/12/2014) [-]
I beg to differ.
#180 - xsnowshark (06/13/2014) [-]
yusss
#122 - bensho (06/12/2014) [-]
Lemme teach you something about manhood...
User avatar #23 - captainpatters (06/12/2014) [-]
This means nothing to me
#114 - mayoroftownsville (06/12/2014) [-]
If you don't know about one of the most decorated breweries in the United States, why are you talking shit about our beer? Because you don't like Budweiser? That's like judging Germany on Oettinger or Krombacher.
#41 - popnotes (06/12/2014) [-]
You mean nothing to me.
User avatar #42 - captainpatters (06/12/2014) [-]
But I didn't use my existence to debunk a claim
#82 - anonymous (06/12/2014) [-]
My nigga, take 30 minutes and go through this. Lots of countries have some great beers, and this includes the US. Europeans and, occasionally, Brazil dominate the lagers, Britain, the US, and Canada rock the ales.

www.worldbeerawards.com/
#3 - Comment deleted 06/12/2014 on WTF Facts Compilation - Part 4 0
#32 - But, they were in the last 3 games so why wouldn't they be in … 06/12/2014 on Gimli E3 wishes 0
#73 - what's got your knickers in a twist bud 06/11/2014 on English Bastards +1
#71 - Jeez, that was uncalled for.  [+] (2 new replies) 06/11/2014 on English Bastards +1
User avatar #72 - minorian (06/11/2014) [-]
Fack off.
#73 - captainpatters (06/11/2014) [-]
what's got your knickers in a twist bud
#49 - Tunbridge Wells STRONK 06/11/2014 on English Bastards 0
#33 - Based Cromwell. Killed English people, Killed Scottish pe…  [+] (1 new reply) 06/11/2014 on English Bastards +6
User avatar #55 - dwarfman (06/11/2014) [-]
Anyone who wasn't Protestant, or English enough for his taste.
#32 - KENT BRO!!!!  [+] (2 new replies) 06/11/2014 on English Bastards 0
User avatar #47 - jammyz (06/11/2014) [-]
KENT KENT KENT

ashford ashford... ashford...

Trashford.
User avatar #49 - captainpatters (06/11/2014) [-]
Tunbridge Wells STRONK
#31 - 1845 best year of my life 06/11/2014 on English Bastards +11
#487 - These laws would not be enforced outside of areas of high crim…  [+] (1 new reply) 06/11/2014 on 10 More Interesting Random... 0
#488 - cabbagemayhem (06/11/2014) [-]
Despite it being a horrible idea to have an umbrella law that makes innocent people fear to do what regulators aren't even concerned with in their area, this particular law is like trying to fix a leaky bucket by putting more water into it. The higher crime rate comes from gun bans, but politician's logic is to then ban knives. Needless to say, it doesn't have the intended effect. It just tries to limit the oldest and most useful tool known to mankind.
#416 - It says that she was the runner up in the french open. 06/10/2014 on 10 More Interesting Random... 0
#415 - All these Americans justifying their terrible gun culture. … 06/10/2014 on 10 More Interesting Random... -3
#414 - I'm not even going to grace this with an answer. Just scroll d… 06/10/2014 on 10 More Interesting Random... 0
#412 - Why the **** do square miles matter. Population i… 06/10/2014 on 10 More Interesting Random... 0
#411 - Almost all gun crime is done against other criminals. …  [+] (4 new replies) 06/10/2014 on 10 More Interesting Random... +2
#486 - cabbagemayhem (06/11/2014) [-]
Of course they can. There's no such as getting of guns, but the U.K. has some of the strictest gun control laws.

I always get down voted by the U.K. when I post that picture about swords, but look it up. It's against the law to carry a knife over 3" (7.62 cm) long.
www.gov.uk/find-out-if-i-can-buy-or-carry-a-knife
User avatar #487 - captainpatters (06/11/2014) [-]
These laws would not be enforced outside of areas of high crime.
It's mainly to combat the large amount of knife crime found in low income areas where knife crime is extremely common
#488 - cabbagemayhem (06/11/2014) [-]
Despite it being a horrible idea to have an umbrella law that makes innocent people fear to do what regulators aren't even concerned with in their area, this particular law is like trying to fix a leaky bucket by putting more water into it. The higher crime rate comes from gun bans, but politician's logic is to then ban knives. Needless to say, it doesn't have the intended effect. It just tries to limit the oldest and most useful tool known to mankind.
#485 - whipsaw has deleted their comment.
#77 - thx bb 06/10/2014 on Steam reviews comp part 5 +1
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#19 - evilhomer ONLINE (06/23/2014) [-]
User avatar #20 to #19 - captainpatters (06/23/2014) [-]
You are doing gods work
User avatar #17 - hornack (12/22/2013) [-]
Hey I was wondering if you had use of your fj points.
User avatar #18 to #17 - captainpatters (12/22/2013) [-]
No, but they're mine
#2 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #3 to #2 - captainpatters (08/15/2013) [-]
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo
#4 to #3 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #6 to #4 - captainpatters (08/15/2013) [-]
Surrender to what? I don't think you can do anything that I would give two ***** about
#10 to #6 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #11 to #10 - captainpatters (08/15/2013) [-]
Okay, the fact that somebody cared enough about me to try and bring me down. Thanks
#12 to #11 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #13 to #12 - captainpatters (08/15/2013) [-]
I thought you were going. My grammatical abilities aren't what you would call good, at all.
#14 to #13 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #15 to #14 - captainpatters (08/15/2013) [-]
AH yes, 23 red thumbs really set me straight. I'm rolling on the floor in tears, I submit to your epic le trolling skills.
#16 to #15 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#7 to #6 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #8 to #7 - captainpatters (08/15/2013) [-]
I hope you like the taste of casual racism because that's all my soul is.
#9 to #8 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#5 to #4 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #1 - helpmeplz (08/05/2013) [-]
Are you willing to help a fellow funnyjunker?
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