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captainpatters    

Rank #1475 on Comments
captainpatters Avatar Level 257 Comments: Contaminated Win
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Steam Profile: Captain_Patters
Consoles Owned: PC Gaming mustard race
Interests: Catching criminal scum, praising the empire/emperor
Date Signed Up:12/16/2011
Last Login:7/10/2014
Location:Kent
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#6208
Comment Ranking:#1475
Highest Content Rank:#335
Highest Comment Rank:#1059
Content Thumbs: 15254 total,  17168 ,  1914
Comment Thumbs: 6415 total,  7374 ,  959
Content Level Progress: 19.8% (198/1000)
Level 213 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 214 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 26% (26/100)
Level 257 Comments: Contaminated Win → Level 258 Comments: Contaminated Win
Subscribers:3
Content Views:924306
Times Content Favorited:634 times
Total Comments Made:849
FJ Points:18931
Favorite Tags: Polandball (6) | War (4) | i (3) | and (2) | Big (2) | butts (2) | eu (2) | hairyball (2) | in (2) | russia (2) | sweatyball (2) | sweatyballs (2) | ukraine (2) | usa (2)
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latest user's comments

#57 - "Lord Tywin Lannister did not, in the end, **** … 06/17/2014 on Those sneaky writers.... +13
#67 - this is true, my friend once tried to do this with yellow shee… 06/17/2014 on Life Hacks Compilation Part 4 +2
#216 - I agree. I found the Sony and Microsoft conferences infuriatin… 06/17/2014 on Game Types Shown At This... 0
#210 - They could of just had an hour of reggie and iwata fighting an…  [+] (2 new replies) 06/17/2014 on Game Types Shown At This... +1
User avatar #214 - polop (06/17/2014) [-]
Nintendo won E3 by far. I was hoping for good things from Sony but they bonbed pretty badly.
User avatar #216 - captainpatters (06/17/2014) [-]
I agree. I found the Sony and Microsoft conferences infuriatingly corporate. The Nintendo event was an event, it was funny, interesting and explained their games rather then give a gameplay trailer with a dev saying. "ahh yeaa itz rly gud guise".

Really exited for what Nintendo is doing right now and I'm extremely happy with my Wii U.
#185 - I'm primarily a PC gamer and my Wii U and 3ds are amazing, lit…  [+] (1 new reply) 06/16/2014 on Confirmation Bias +1
#241 - viralkamina (06/16/2014) [-]
surprise, but most people that are part of the "pc masterrace" (btw noone is really srious about this) actually like nintendo. Because unline Sony and Microsoft, they don't hide behind unreasonable promises and slogans (best gaming experience). They just focus on making awesome games.
#84 - I have no idea how 30 fps is still acceptable. Devs are trying… 06/16/2014 on Confirmation Bias 0
#83 - You have to pay for the Playstation now. And the Wii U's hardw… 06/16/2014 on Confirmation Bias +1
#62 - No it isnt. And anyone who says it is is talking out of their …  [+] (4 new replies) 06/16/2014 on Confirmation Bias +8
User avatar #182 - MasterManiac (06/16/2014) [-]
I agree with you, but a console requires a TV/monitor and everyone will also have a computer for other tasks meaning the cost isn't as straightforward as it would appear. To be fair you'd have to consider how much would be spent on a console as well as computer for other tasks as opposed to a gaming rig used for both work and gaming.
User avatar #79 - kinginyellow (06/16/2014) [-]
What? Only xbox has an online fee, so wouldn't getting a PS4 save as much in the long run? Or a wii-u?
User avatar #83 - captainpatters (06/16/2014) [-]
You have to pay for the Playstation now. And the Wii U's hardware is totally obsolete compared to PC's while it costs a lot less. I think that the Wii U is totally in a different market to the other gaming systems, it's its own thing and its fucking awesome. I'd recommend it over any other console any day.
#75 - anonymous (06/16/2014) [-]
Well, it is somewhat possible, but usually if someone gives you an example they aren't including the cost of a monitor, kb/m, operating system, etc., whereas that sort of peripheral generally already comes with a console or most everyone has one, like a tv.

But none of that matters anyway because even if you were to build a PC that's exactly as powerful as one of the new consoles, it still won't perform as well. It's all about optimization, and no developer is optimizing to your specific gaming rig the way they do with consoles.
#85 - I did once get tipped £20 for showing an obese American famil… 06/16/2014 on Life in the US +4
#66 - Funniest 90 minutes of my life 06/14/2014 on NSFW 0
#97 - >Is wrong >Calls people retarded for telling him he'… 06/13/2014 on Car Ticket 0
#175 - All this American butthurt 06/13/2014 on WTF Facts Compilation - Part 4 -2
#75 - I've never had good Danish beer. I mainly go for the classic E…  [+] (1 new reply) 06/12/2014 on WTF Facts Compilation - Part 4 +1
#304 - radiserne (06/13/2014) [-]
Then you haven't tasted a whole lot.
#42 - But I didn't use my existence to debunk a claim  [+] (1 new reply) 06/12/2014 on WTF Facts Compilation - Part 4 -15
#82 - anonymous (06/12/2014) [-]
My nigga, take 30 minutes and go through this. Lots of countries have some great beers, and this includes the US. Europeans and, occasionally, Brazil dominate the lagers, Britain, the US, and Canada rock the ales.

www.worldbeerawards.com/
#307 - Dis ***** srs? 06/12/2014 on don't be a pleb +1
#23 - This means nothing to me  [+] (4 new replies) 06/12/2014 on WTF Facts Compilation - Part 4 -9
#114 - mayoroftownsville (06/12/2014) [-]
If you don't know about one of the most decorated breweries in the United States, why are you talking shit about our beer? Because you don't like Budweiser? That's like judging Germany on Oettinger or Krombacher.
#41 - popnotes (06/12/2014) [-]
You mean nothing to me.
User avatar #42 - captainpatters (06/12/2014) [-]
But I didn't use my existence to debunk a claim
#82 - anonymous (06/12/2014) [-]
My nigga, take 30 minutes and go through this. Lots of countries have some great beers, and this includes the US. Europeans and, occasionally, Brazil dominate the lagers, Britain, the US, and Canada rock the ales.

www.worldbeerawards.com/
#4 - American Beer isn't drinkable in the first place  [+] (37 new replies) 06/12/2014 on WTF Facts Compilation - Part 4 +468
#237 - ztron (06/13/2014) [-]
I know it's "shit flavored" compared to most other beers, but fuck me if I don't feel patriotic as fuck while chugging Budweisers.
#175 - captainpatters (06/13/2014) [-]
All this American butthurt
#157 - anonymous (06/13/2014) [-]
"American Beer" includes all 2,800 American breweries and the 20,000 different beers they make....sure why the fuck not.

For reference Germany has 1300 breweries producing over 5000 brands. Belgium has 180 breweries. Wisconsin by itself has 102.
#144 - skubasteve (06/12/2014) [-]
We beg to differ.

• Gold Medal for Stone Old Guardian Barley Wine at the World Beer Championships (2002)
• Gold Medal for Stone IPA at the Stockholm Beer & Whiskey Festival (2007)
• Gold Medal for Stone Imperial Russian Stout at the Australian International Beer Awards (2007)
• Bronze Medal for Stone IPA at the Australian International Beer Awards (2007)
• Silver Medal for Stone Pale Ale at the European Beer Star Awards (2009)
• Silver Medal for Stone IPA at the European Beer Star Awards (2010)
• Gold Medal for Stone Smoked Porter at the Asia Beer Awards (2010)
• Silver Medal for Stone Imperial Russian Stout at the Asia Beer Awards (2010)
• Silver Medal for Stone Sublimely Self Righteous Ale at the Australian International Beer Awards (2011)
• Silver Medal for Stone Imperial Russian Stout at the Australian International Beer Awards (2011)
• Greg Koch named "Most Admired CEO" by San Diego Business Journal for privately held, large company (2012)
• Stone Brewing World Bistro & Gardens achieves certification under SITES (2012)

We know good beer in San Diego.
#305 - anonymous (06/13/2014) [-]
you do realize that this medal ranking for drinks means absolutely nothing, don't you? because those are given away by multiples for contest, not a 1 medal/contest, that means 100+ beers could win gold
User avatar #143 - endboss (06/12/2014) [-]
German, Belgian, or Dutch beer. It'll be all the beer you'll ever need in your life.

not every brand in those countries is good ofc.
User avatar #147 - endboss (06/12/2014) [-]
Sorry, forgot to mention england for their stout.
#100 - anonymous (06/12/2014) [-]
People who care so much about their beer are such fags I can understand about shit like natties and keystones, but when you start bitching about bud light and budweiser as being watered down you just sound like a stuck up douche. You think you're cool because you only drink beer no one has heard of and if you actually went to a party with you're own expensive crap no one has heard of people will just think of you as a loser. So get off your high horse and learn to live a little.
#166 - anonmynous (06/13/2014) [-]
Colorado alone, the state I live in, has over 200 breweries. All of these breweries make delicious brown ale's, porters, IPA's, belgians, etc many of which have an abv of 8% to 10%. You could walk into a liquor store every day for 5 years and try a completely new, locally brewed, high percentage, uniquely delicious beer. Or, like you say, you could "live a little" and drink budweiser for the rest of your life which only makes lagers that rarely reach 5% abv.
#158 - anonymous (06/13/2014) [-]
I prefer to live a little with something that actually tastes good. Sam Adams, Leinenkugel, New Belgium, etc are all infinitely better than Bud or Miller and are available everywhere, for like $4 more per case. They are huge fucking breweries, if knowing shitty beer tastes like shit makes you pretentious then everyone outside a trailer park or college falls int hat category. Drink all the fucking Bud you want but don't you fucking bitch when I show up with New Belgium Fat Tire, because I enjoy flavor.
User avatar #152 - masterfaps (06/12/2014) [-]
Fuck beer in the first place drink whiskey.
User avatar #227 - sardinez (06/13/2014) [-]
its two different kinds of drinking imo. drinking beer youre not trying to get blackout drunk like when you are drinking hard stuff, it's more about maintaining that relaxing buzz only beer gives you
User avatar #228 - masterfaps (06/13/2014) [-]
I drink whiskey to relax . You can get blackout drunk on just about anything it's all in moderation.
User avatar #230 - sardinez (06/13/2014) [-]
to each his own
#221 - supercookieduster (06/13/2014) [-]
User avatar #232 - masterfaps (06/13/2014) [-]
Because if you do that wrong your asking to puke.
#87 - anonymous (06/12/2014) [-]
Right, because everyone knows Bud and MillerCoors are the only beer companies in the entire country.
User avatar #80 - yuukoku (06/12/2014) [-]
Shiner Bock
#198 - broale (06/13/2014) [-]
I found my fellow Texan.
#200 - yuukoku (06/13/2014) [-]
fuck yeah texas
#264 - broale (06/13/2014) [-]
#72 - failtolawl (06/12/2014) [-]
ugh, american beer so pussy! they no nothing of how to drunk stronk danmerk beir!
User avatar #75 - captainpatters (06/12/2014) [-]
I've never had good Danish beer. I mainly go for the classic English and Belgian stuff
#304 - radiserne (06/13/2014) [-]
Then you haven't tasted a whole lot.
#71 - anonymous (06/12/2014) [-]
*Barley water
User avatar #38 - maddboiy (06/12/2014) [-]
It's like making love in a canoe. It's fucking close to water.
User avatar #101 - lolzordz (06/12/2014) [-]
its like a joke thats old and overused, its old and overused.
User avatar #34 - thechosentroll (06/12/2014) [-]
But it'll be invaluable in the event of a nuclear apocalypse. Do you have any idea what people would do for a bottle of tap water?
User avatar #32 - alexandrz (06/12/2014) [-]
Emergency water, tho.
#14 - mayoroftownsville (06/12/2014) [-]
I beg to differ.
#180 - xsnowshark (06/13/2014) [-]
yusss
#122 - bensho (06/12/2014) [-]
Lemme teach you something about manhood...
User avatar #23 - captainpatters (06/12/2014) [-]
This means nothing to me
#114 - mayoroftownsville (06/12/2014) [-]
If you don't know about one of the most decorated breweries in the United States, why are you talking shit about our beer? Because you don't like Budweiser? That's like judging Germany on Oettinger or Krombacher.
#41 - popnotes (06/12/2014) [-]
You mean nothing to me.
User avatar #42 - captainpatters (06/12/2014) [-]
But I didn't use my existence to debunk a claim
#82 - anonymous (06/12/2014) [-]
My nigga, take 30 minutes and go through this. Lots of countries have some great beers, and this includes the US. Europeans and, occasionally, Brazil dominate the lagers, Britain, the US, and Canada rock the ales.

www.worldbeerawards.com/
#3 - Comment deleted 06/12/2014 on WTF Facts Compilation - Part 4 0
#32 - But, they were in the last 3 games so why wouldn't they be in … 06/12/2014 on Gimli E3 wishes 0
#73 - what's got your knickers in a twist bud 06/11/2014 on English Bastards +1
#71 - Jeez, that was uncalled for.  [+] (2 new replies) 06/11/2014 on English Bastards +1
User avatar #72 - minorian (06/11/2014) [-]
Fack off.
#73 - captainpatters (06/11/2014) [-]
what's got your knickers in a twist bud
#49 - Tunbridge Wells STRONK 06/11/2014 on English Bastards 0
#33 - Based Cromwell. Killed English people, Killed Scottish pe…  [+] (1 new reply) 06/11/2014 on English Bastards +6
User avatar #55 - dwarfman (06/11/2014) [-]
Anyone who wasn't Protestant, or English enough for his taste.
#32 - KENT BRO!!!!  [+] (2 new replies) 06/11/2014 on English Bastards 0
User avatar #47 - jammyz (06/11/2014) [-]
KENT KENT KENT

ashford ashford... ashford...

Trashford.
User avatar #49 - captainpatters (06/11/2014) [-]
Tunbridge Wells STRONK
#31 - 1845 best year of my life 06/11/2014 on English Bastards +11
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User avatar #20 to #19 - captainpatters (06/23/2014) [-]
You are doing gods work
User avatar #17 - hornack (12/22/2013) [-]
Hey I was wondering if you had use of your fj points.
User avatar #18 to #17 - captainpatters (12/22/2013) [-]
No, but they're mine
#2 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #3 to #2 - captainpatters (08/15/2013) [-]
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo
#4 to #3 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #6 to #4 - captainpatters (08/15/2013) [-]
Surrender to what? I don't think you can do anything that I would give two ***** about
#10 to #6 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #11 to #10 - captainpatters (08/15/2013) [-]
Okay, the fact that somebody cared enough about me to try and bring me down. Thanks
#12 to #11 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #13 to #12 - captainpatters (08/15/2013) [-]
I thought you were going. My grammatical abilities aren't what you would call good, at all.
#14 to #13 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #15 to #14 - captainpatters (08/15/2013) [-]
AH yes, 23 red thumbs really set me straight. I'm rolling on the floor in tears, I submit to your epic le trolling skills.
#16 to #15 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#7 to #6 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #8 to #7 - captainpatters (08/15/2013) [-]
I hope you like the taste of casual racism because that's all my soul is.
#9 to #8 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#5 to #4 - captianpaters **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #1 - helpmeplz (08/05/2013) [-]
Are you willing to help a fellow funnyjunker?
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