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captainfuckitall    

Rank #230 on Comments
captainfuckitall Avatar Level 347 Comments: Sold Soul
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Date Signed Up:4/12/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#230
Highest Content Rank:#10530
Highest Comment Rank:#49
Content Thumbs: 34 total,  90 ,  56
Comment Thumbs: 50322 total,  61495 ,  11173
Content Level Progress: 66.1% (39/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 17.7% (177/1000)
Level 347 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 348 Comments: Sold Soul
Subscribers:21
Content Views:9693
Times Content Favorited:12 times
Total Comments Made:14947
FJ Points:19402

latest user's comments

#63 - I like this philosophy teacher. 09/28/2014 on Help me with this guys +10
#106 - Oh jeez, you here that guys? We're only one person and we're n… 09/28/2014 on Legal? -1
#75 - People change, my friend... I have grown from fulfill… 09/28/2014 on Legal? +1
#122 - Take your time. 09/28/2014 on Love is beautif-- wait, what? 0
#117 - ...Are you okay, man?  [+] (3 new replies) 09/28/2014 on Love is beautif-- wait, what? 0
User avatar #120 - fuckingtrolls (09/28/2014) [-]
hold on
User avatar #122 - captainfuckitall (09/28/2014) [-]
Take your time.
User avatar #119 - fuckingtrolls (09/28/2014) [-]
scrolling thingy is a bitch tho
#115 - No need to get your panties in a twist because not everyone li…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/28/2014 on Love is beautif-- wait, what? 0
#11 - No thanks, I think it's illegal to **** mentally …  [+] (3 new replies) 09/28/2014 on Legal? +34
User avatar #99 - loonquawl (09/28/2014) [-]
I don't think it's actually illegal.
I mean, it's not illegal for them to breed, so I would assume it's legal for them to fuck.
User avatar #18 - huewut (09/28/2014) [-]
B-but... Your name...
Nooo! You have forsaken your own name!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
User avatar #75 - captainfuckitall (09/28/2014) [-]
People change, my friend...

I have grown from fulfilling my sexual desires with every little thing I meet, just as you will grow from being confused. All will be well, little youngling; this is the way it must be...
#59 - Batman is neither funny nor compassionate, and he has driven m…  [+] (5 new replies) 09/28/2014 on Love is beautif-- wait, what? -1
#114 - fuckingtrolls has deleted their comment.
User avatar #117 - captainfuckitall (09/28/2014) [-]
...Are you okay, man?
User avatar #120 - fuckingtrolls (09/28/2014) [-]
hold on
User avatar #122 - captainfuckitall (09/28/2014) [-]
Take your time.
User avatar #119 - fuckingtrolls (09/28/2014) [-]
scrolling thingy is a bitch tho
#230 - Comment #167 is what was really said 09/28/2014 on joshlol kissed a girl... 0
#11 - That's because he's a bigger Mary Sue than Superman, a guy lit…  [+] (5 new replies) 09/28/2014 on Love is beautif-- wait, what? +3
#111 - fuckingtrolls has deleted their comment.
User avatar #115 - captainfuckitall (09/28/2014) [-]
No need to get your panties in a twist because not everyone likes your favourite superhero
User avatar #113 - fuckingtrolls (09/28/2014) [-]
god dammit
User avatar #55 - nigeltheoutlaw (09/28/2014) [-]
kek
#12 - "JESUS CHRIST JOHN, WHY DO YOU HAVE DILDO'S HIDDEN ALL OV…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/27/2014 on anon's solution to suicidal... +315
#47 - rebaj (09/28/2014) [-]
#172 - No one cares which side you lean on because your argument itse…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/27/2014 on joshlol kissed a girl... +1
#176 - kingderps (09/27/2014) [-]
I don't agree with everything you said, but you make some good points. I'm going to let this thing rest.
#168 - There you go, friend. Comment 167 has the answers 09/27/2014 on joshlol kissed a girl... 0
#167 - For anyone wondering: Kingderps argument was simply that she h…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/27/2014 on joshlol kissed a girl... +9
User avatar #225 - Xaponz (09/28/2014) [-]
Thank you kind sir, i always feel left out when people have so many negative thumbs and delete their comment without me reading them.
#160 - Your argument was simply that she had no obligation to kiss hi…  [+] (3 new replies) 09/27/2014 on joshlol kissed a girl... +1
#162 - kingderps (09/27/2014) [-]
Ok, at the risk of taking on hundreds more red thumbs, I'll try to explain again where I was coming from. In our society boys are encouraged when it comes to "scoring" for lack of a better term. Girls are often discouraged and ostracized for the same thing. I really hope you are already familiar with this double standard and understand what I'm talkign about, otherwise this will make no sense.

It was my opinion that she over reacted out of that mentality that our society puts on girls. Regardless of if anyone would try to shame her for kissing him or not, she may have felt pressure to act like she didn't like it due to the stigma mentioned in the paragraph above.

Having said all of that I'm not a SJW, I actually lean on the MRA side of things in many cases.
User avatar #172 - captainfuckitall (09/27/2014) [-]
No one cares which side you lean on because your argument itself was shit, but at least you're being more clear now, so thumbs for you.

Indeed, boys are encouraged when it comes to scoring and girls are disencouraged (and there's a very good evolutionary reason for this if you'd want to know), similar to how boys are encouraged to be absolutely tough and in command at all times while girls are allowed an infinite number of re-tries. Society does not favour boys over girls, I'd sooner say that it doesn't favour ANYONE, it's just that certain genders have certain advantages that others don't have.

She's a kid, man. She wasn't trying to make a big political statement regarding her actions, she just didn't want to kiss him, did anyways, and then over-reacted because she thought it was gross. The ONLY thing she did 'wrong' is over-react, because HE did nothing wrong either and that's probably going to be an awful memory for him for YEARS; as boys put just as much important on their desirability as girls. That's what we're saying. Not wanting to kiss him is fine, she could have just held herself together better for the sake of the routine and his mental health. Good lords, I certainly wouldn't act like I was going to throw up if a fat or ugly or whatever girl kissed me, I would either just tell her not to in private or excuse myself if we were in public, because I'm a sensible human being who's mindful of the thoughts of others.

Also, you're still mistaken about the mentality regarding boys vs. girls, as I said before, in ANY type of 'prank' show that comes at the expense of women's privacy or sexual discrepancy, everyone here freaks out over the guy and calls him a douche.
#176 - kingderps (09/27/2014) [-]
I don't agree with everything you said, but you make some good points. I'm going to let this thing rest.
#159 - There, was that so hard? All mocking aside, you're no… 09/27/2014 on joshlol kissed a girl... +2
#157 - "You probably don't know what my argument was" …  [+] (5 new replies) 09/27/2014 on joshlol kissed a girl... +1
#158 - kingderps (09/27/2014) [-]
I'm confused what is this about again?
User avatar #160 - captainfuckitall (09/27/2014) [-]
Your argument was simply that she had no obligation to kiss him, which is totally fine; nobody has an obligation to do it even if it WAS part of the routine, and MY argument was that, while she has no obligation to kiss him, she could have done it in a much nicer way without shattering his confidence and self-esteem for years; and then you went on a tangent about how we just defend boys, dislike girls, how you're absolutely right and we hate you for it, comparing our views to fanatic religious doctrine, and generally just complaining like a 13 year old child.
#162 - kingderps (09/27/2014) [-]
Ok, at the risk of taking on hundreds more red thumbs, I'll try to explain again where I was coming from. In our society boys are encouraged when it comes to "scoring" for lack of a better term. Girls are often discouraged and ostracized for the same thing. I really hope you are already familiar with this double standard and understand what I'm talkign about, otherwise this will make no sense.

It was my opinion that she over reacted out of that mentality that our society puts on girls. Regardless of if anyone would try to shame her for kissing him or not, she may have felt pressure to act like she didn't like it due to the stigma mentioned in the paragraph above.

Having said all of that I'm not a SJW, I actually lean on the MRA side of things in many cases.
User avatar #172 - captainfuckitall (09/27/2014) [-]
No one cares which side you lean on because your argument itself was shit, but at least you're being more clear now, so thumbs for you.

Indeed, boys are encouraged when it comes to scoring and girls are disencouraged (and there's a very good evolutionary reason for this if you'd want to know), similar to how boys are encouraged to be absolutely tough and in command at all times while girls are allowed an infinite number of re-tries. Society does not favour boys over girls, I'd sooner say that it doesn't favour ANYONE, it's just that certain genders have certain advantages that others don't have.

She's a kid, man. She wasn't trying to make a big political statement regarding her actions, she just didn't want to kiss him, did anyways, and then over-reacted because she thought it was gross. The ONLY thing she did 'wrong' is over-react, because HE did nothing wrong either and that's probably going to be an awful memory for him for YEARS; as boys put just as much important on their desirability as girls. That's what we're saying. Not wanting to kiss him is fine, she could have just held herself together better for the sake of the routine and his mental health. Good lords, I certainly wouldn't act like I was going to throw up if a fat or ugly or whatever girl kissed me, I would either just tell her not to in private or excuse myself if we were in public, because I'm a sensible human being who's mindful of the thoughts of others.

Also, you're still mistaken about the mentality regarding boys vs. girls, as I said before, in ANY type of 'prank' show that comes at the expense of women's privacy or sexual discrepancy, everyone here freaks out over the guy and calls him a douche.
#176 - kingderps (09/27/2014) [-]
I don't agree with everything you said, but you make some good points. I'm going to let this thing rest.
#145 - Have you even ONCE considered that you might be wrong and THAT…  [+] (9 new replies) 09/27/2014 on joshlol kissed a girl... 0
#150 - kingderps has deleted their comment.
User avatar #155 - cagetheelophant (09/27/2014) [-]
Because you deleted it you fucking autist.
#156 - kingderps has deleted their comment.
User avatar #157 - captainfuckitall (09/27/2014) [-]
"You probably don't know what my argument was"

Because you keep deleting it, you fucking autist.
#158 - kingderps (09/27/2014) [-]
I'm confused what is this about again?
User avatar #160 - captainfuckitall (09/27/2014) [-]
Your argument was simply that she had no obligation to kiss him, which is totally fine; nobody has an obligation to do it even if it WAS part of the routine, and MY argument was that, while she has no obligation to kiss him, she could have done it in a much nicer way without shattering his confidence and self-esteem for years; and then you went on a tangent about how we just defend boys, dislike girls, how you're absolutely right and we hate you for it, comparing our views to fanatic religious doctrine, and generally just complaining like a 13 year old child.
#162 - kingderps (09/27/2014) [-]
Ok, at the risk of taking on hundreds more red thumbs, I'll try to explain again where I was coming from. In our society boys are encouraged when it comes to "scoring" for lack of a better term. Girls are often discouraged and ostracized for the same thing. I really hope you are already familiar with this double standard and understand what I'm talkign about, otherwise this will make no sense.

It was my opinion that she over reacted out of that mentality that our society puts on girls. Regardless of if anyone would try to shame her for kissing him or not, she may have felt pressure to act like she didn't like it due to the stigma mentioned in the paragraph above.

Having said all of that I'm not a SJW, I actually lean on the MRA side of things in many cases.
User avatar #172 - captainfuckitall (09/27/2014) [-]
No one cares which side you lean on because your argument itself was shit, but at least you're being more clear now, so thumbs for you.

Indeed, boys are encouraged when it comes to scoring and girls are disencouraged (and there's a very good evolutionary reason for this if you'd want to know), similar to how boys are encouraged to be absolutely tough and in command at all times while girls are allowed an infinite number of re-tries. Society does not favour boys over girls, I'd sooner say that it doesn't favour ANYONE, it's just that certain genders have certain advantages that others don't have.

She's a kid, man. She wasn't trying to make a big political statement regarding her actions, she just didn't want to kiss him, did anyways, and then over-reacted because she thought it was gross. The ONLY thing she did 'wrong' is over-react, because HE did nothing wrong either and that's probably going to be an awful memory for him for YEARS; as boys put just as much important on their desirability as girls. That's what we're saying. Not wanting to kiss him is fine, she could have just held herself together better for the sake of the routine and his mental health. Good lords, I certainly wouldn't act like I was going to throw up if a fat or ugly or whatever girl kissed me, I would either just tell her not to in private or excuse myself if we were in public, because I'm a sensible human being who's mindful of the thoughts of others.

Also, you're still mistaken about the mentality regarding boys vs. girls, as I said before, in ANY type of 'prank' show that comes at the expense of women's privacy or sexual discrepancy, everyone here freaks out over the guy and calls him a douche.
#176 - kingderps (09/27/2014) [-]
I don't agree with everything you said, but you make some good points. I'm going to let this thing rest.
#144 - Awe, look at the big man who didn't care about thumbs getting …  [+] (4 new replies) 09/27/2014 on joshlol kissed a girl... +1
#153 - kingderps (09/27/2014) [-]
Everything you say is right. You have a big penis and many sexy girl friends, unlike me. Also, I'm really fat, have a neckbeard and fedora.
User avatar #185 - fizzor (09/27/2014) [-]
You're fucking weak bro. Acting all high and mighty and saying you don't care about thumbs, and then you delete your comments? Lol get bent.
#196 - kingderps (09/27/2014) [-]
I lied, I did care.
User avatar #159 - captainfuckitall (09/27/2014) [-]
There, was that so hard?

All mocking aside, you're not doing yourself any favours by actually DELETING your comments. It's true that they tend to snowball after a while because I've had that happen to me too. Ya it sucks, but you get MORE sympathy by actually sticking to your guns, because now you just look like a coward.

In any case, your argument was simply that she had no obligation to kiss him, which is totally fine; nobody has an obligation to do it even if it WAS part of the routine, and MY argument was that, while she has no obligation to kiss him, she could have done it in a much nicer way without shattering his confidence and self-esteem for years; and then you went on a tangent about how we just defend boys, dislike girls, how you're absolutely right and we hate you for it, comparing our views to fanatic religious doctrine, and generally just complaining like a 13 year old child.
#140 - "Men go their own way". He's basically saying that t…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/27/2014 on joshlol kissed a girl... +2
User avatar #141 - pillows (09/27/2014) [-]
Oh alright thanks.
#139 - And which do you think is more likely, anon? 09/27/2014 on joshlol kissed a girl... 0
#9 - If it's stable, what's the point of having it in the first pla…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/27/2014 on Its so unnecessary, but i... +2
User avatar #16 - sugoi (09/28/2014) [-]
Does art ever have a point?
#76 - "I'm right because everyone else is wrong. Everyone else … 09/27/2014 on joshlol kissed a girl... +1
#4 - I don't know, man. Watching everything you love get perverted …  [+] (3 new replies) 09/27/2014 on game of golden thrones +3
#54 - krasnogvardiech (09/28/2014) [-]
He was not a man. He was not man, for he was so much greater than man. He understood the nature of humanity, and he attempted to imitate it, certainly, though like the Grecian epics he must have weaned himself upon he had but a single flaw - that he was simply too elevated, too exalted to understand what went on beneath him.
User avatar #52 - atomschlumpf (09/27/2014) [-]
I suppose the Emperor was just, he did everything he did for the good and progress of mankind. Though, from a neutral perspective I guess he was kinda racist, as the progress of mankind means anything that is not mankind is going to be eredicated.

I'd say he didn't have much time for friends and that kinda stuff and given that he is immortal (I think?) it would be kinda pointless anyway but I think Malcador the Sigilite is the closest thing of a friend he has. If you want to know more about the time Big E was still around I suggest reading the Horus Heresy novels which you should of course buy from GW for a cow, a goat, a night with your wife and your firstborn son
#8 - slias (09/27/2014) [-]
Well, the emperor did hold himself back when he was fighting Horus out of what basically amounts to fatherly love. So he was a cool dude, loved mankind and did everything he possibly could to make everything better for his people.
#5 - No thanks, I'd rather not try to get out and flip water all ov…  [+] (3 new replies) 09/27/2014 on Its so unnecessary, but i... +1
User avatar #7 - sugoi (09/27/2014) [-]
It's doesn't sway.
Look at the "tips".
User avatar #9 - captainfuckitall (09/27/2014) [-]
If it's stable, what's the point of having it in the first place? Why not have a regular tub?
User avatar #16 - sugoi (09/28/2014) [-]
Does art ever have a point?

Comments(483):

[ 483 comments ]

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #490 - commencingfailure (09/30/2014) [-]
******* retard compares the IS to today's feminists. One could say ignorance is an everspreading cancer, you did your job to increase the spread.
User avatar #491 to #490 - captainfuckitall (09/30/2014) [-]
You seem REALLY mad, friend. Perhaps you should calm down and take some ass ointment before you need to see a doctor
User avatar #489 - myfourthaccount (07/18/2014) [-]
dude, you're like my most favorite person on earth right now haha
User avatar #487 - imvlad (05/04/2014) [-]
you brought shame to your house
User avatar #483 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Have you by chance had an older account here before?
User avatar #484 to #483 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was deleted for some reason I never found, so I just made another.
#485 to #484 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 to #485 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no ******* mates, Dave".
User avatar #481 - iforgotmyothername (03/20/2014) [-]
you are one cool tempered potato compared to me, bringing my fury upon your wrongness. i salute you, and thumbed up all your comments in the a capella debate.
User avatar #482 to #481 - captainfuckitall (03/20/2014) [-]
It's alright, I apologize for making you upset, but you don't need to thumb my posts up. Thumbs are a way to express positivity or negativity toward any type of comments; if you do not like them, it is perfectly within your right to thumb them down.
User avatar #474 - aherorising (11/20/2013) [-]
you're a really cool bro
#471 - shiifter (10/06/2013) [-]
This still makes me giggle.

Oh and by the way, i never actually thumbed you down. I just said that i did.
User avatar #472 to #471 - captainfuckitall (10/06/2013) [-]
The thing is, the way I found OUT you gave me those thumbs was because of the question mark, which allows people to see who voted on content. I could only KNOW it was you if you had thumbed them down, which you did.

And now you not only prove to be an idiot, but a liar as well.
#473 to #472 - shiifter (10/12/2013) [-]
Wait? You still remembered that? That's hilarious.

By the way, i screencapped this. it's like a trophy.
User avatar #468 - satrenkotheone ONLINE (09/22/2013) [-]
I would just like to say thank you.
#466 - xxxsonic fanxxx (08/25/2013) [-]
Due to your pointlessly rude comment on the post "Jesus ain't got time for **** ",

I have gone through 20 of your previous comments and thumbed them all down.

You're also a stupid, unfunny, tryhard feelfag. Exactly the kind of user that this site is infamous for.
User avatar #467 to #466 - captainfuckitall (08/25/2013) [-]
I wasn't pointlessly rude. If you read it more carefully, you would find I am not insulting your god or faith, but rather, the people who spread it about; and even they are just doing it to themselves, while I am mearly making an observation

It's ironic you call me tryhard, considering you just went through the time to thumb-down my last 20 comments as if it would have any effect on me personally or my ranking here. It's also odd you call me stupid, considering you were the one who read it uncorrectly. And I think the fact I have so many comment thumbs anyways (including my own jesus comment) speaks to the point that I am, in fact, quite hilarious. "Feelfag", is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone who is passionate about certain things? If so, then I take pride in it, as it is only through passion that things grow.

Considering you are pretentious, arrogant, immature, and without a sense of humour; you fit the criteria for '12 year old funnyjunker' far better than I do.
#463 - captainspankmonkey ONLINE (07/16/2013) [-]
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.   
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.   
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.   
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
User avatar #464 to #463 - captainfuckitall (07/16/2013) [-]
You are just a wonderful person, you know that? Thank you very much for your kind words and appreciation, and I'm glad you have made an account and made many friends here, including myself
#465 to #464 - captainspankmonkey ONLINE (07/16/2013) [-]
You're welcome, good sir.
You're welcome, good sir.
User avatar #461 - potgardener (06/01/2013) [-]
youre pretty ****** in the head if beating a kid is a good idea, parents would need to hit their kids if they taught them what was right and wrong from the beginning
User avatar #462 to #461 - captainfuckitall (06/01/2013) [-]
It's ironic how you talk about avoiding situations, when your very comment isn't needed considering I already explained, about five times now, that I do not mean you must 'abuse' your children in order to get good results. My comment, and all the comments afterwards, were about how when compassion and support fails you must turn to punishment and discipline, including simply smacking your kid upside the head

Perhaps you should read more and get better informed before jumping to opinions, yes?
#459 - bossdelainternet (05/11/2013) [-]
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest  threads i've seen this year.   
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...   
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest threads i've seen this year.
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
User avatar #460 to #459 - captainfuckitall (05/11/2013) [-]
I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult

I choose the former

Thank you, good sir
#453 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
I just thought I'd let you know that I just did an awful thing and quoted your majestic deep words of death wisdom onto my facebook. I gave you credit, but as part of my shame for stealing I thought I'd tell you. That was honestly one of the best things I've ever read.

Which is also why I screencapped it. Don't worry I swear I'm not going to try to get to frontpage with it I just wanted to save it.
User avatar #454 to #453 - captainfuckitall (11/12/2012) [-]
Not at all, I am not concerned with thumbs in the least. If you would like to post it, by all means do so, if you'd like to take credit, do so as well; I care not for material value or fame, as long as comprehend and understand the message
#455 to #454 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
Oh man you just keep getting better:)    
   
But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
Oh man you just keep getting better:)

But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
#449 - captainspankmonkey ONLINE (02/27/2012) [-]
Internet problems
That is why :P
User avatar #450 to #460 - captainfuckitall (02/27/2012) [-]
ahhh, haha, sorry then :P
#447 - xxxsonic fanxxx (09/26/2011) [-]
you're a lovely person
User avatar #448 to #458 - captainfuckitall (09/26/2011) [-]
awe, thank you, kind stranger :3

that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :D
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