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captainfuckitall    

Rank #487 on Comments
captainfuckitall Avatar Level 344 Comments: Sold Soul
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Date Signed Up:4/12/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#487
Highest Content Rank:#10530
Highest Comment Rank:#49
Content Thumbs: 40 total,  90 ,  50
Comment Thumbs: 47270 total,  58065 ,  10795
Content Level Progress: 76.27% (45/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 97% (970/1000)
Level 344 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 345 Comments: Sold Soul
Subscribers:20
Content Views:9666
Times Content Favorited:12 times
Total Comments Made:14484
FJ Points:17201

latest user's comments

#21 - But it all really depends on what you consider makes a person …  [+] (1 new reply) 08/21/2014 on "Victor had to tuck me... 0
#23 - butakun (08/21/2014) [-]
thechosentroll clarified that he was wondering why the creators made him a villain, but you make some interesting points.

My response to you is that it doesn't matter if Doom sees himself as a hero; if his actions are sufficiently villainous, he's a villain. If his actions are mostly heroic, he's a hero. But he doesn't have to be limited to either in order to be classified as one or the other.

Though to be honest, I think this thread is developing a case for classifying Doom as an antihero rather than a villain.
#9 - "So I have this black friend, right? Haha, jk!" …  [+] (1 new reply) 08/21/2014 on Wacky Black jokes 4 kids -1
#13 - anonymous (08/21/2014) [-]
"So I have this black friend, right? Haha, jk!"
"Damn, that was racist! This man doesn't want black friends, so let's educate him on why he does with our fists!"
#7 - I knew a drug dealer once. He wore a portable heart m… 08/21/2014 on I bet he has smashing prices. +1
#278 - This is the best thing I've seen in my life. 08/21/2014 on Site updates 0
#9 - Someone with more skill than myself should take a picture of h… 08/21/2014 on Smells like ass 0
#32 - Booty had me like ^ 08/20/2014 on Opening scene of a porn +2
#29 - You're a saint  [+] (1 new reply) 08/20/2014 on Biscuit about to drop the... 0
User avatar #31 - alexandrz (08/20/2014) [-]
The Porn fairy does not rest until every penis is satiated.
#27 - I want to ask for source, but if I did I'd feel ashamed of myself.  [+] (9 new replies) 08/20/2014 on Biscuit about to drop the... 0
User avatar #28 - alexandrz (08/20/2014) [-]
Don't be. We can always put SEETHING RAGE AND FURIOUS ANGER aside for porn, like civilized creatures must.

Unlove S, by Turtle Fish Paint.
www.fakku.net/doujinshi/unlove-s-english/read
User avatar #312 - zonryu (08/21/2014) [-]
saved
#286 - galedrive (08/21/2014) [-]
Well, I was going through it until suddenly, massive demon dog dick. Noped the fuck out.
User avatar #343 - alexandrz (08/21/2014) [-]
You sound like a little bitch.

Fine, here's some "regular" stuff you fukn casul: www.fakku.net/doujinshi/ranko-ish-english
User avatar #84 - rustybutttickler (08/21/2014) [-]
More favorites than likes...
Stay classy FJ
did i do it right
#99 - bitchpleaseshutup (08/21/2014) [-]
This is what I like
User avatar #29 - captainfuckitall (08/20/2014) [-]
You're a saint
User avatar #31 - alexandrz (08/20/2014) [-]
The Porn fairy does not rest until every penis is satiated.
#90 - Sorry, I meant 'hold', as in, have a bunch of games on their a… 08/20/2014 on A Story of Ascension 0
#48 - Ya no. I don't wanna spend up to a thousand dollars on a compu…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/20/2014 on A Story of Ascension 0
#72 - sugoi (08/20/2014) [-]
Why would you want to run MULTIPLE games on high graphics?
Fuck man you can't even run one game on high graphics on a console.

Who do you think you are? God?
User avatar #90 - captainfuckitall (08/20/2014) [-]
Sorry, I meant 'hold', as in, have a bunch of games on their at once, taking up space.
#56 - I'm absolutely certain you could get all these people to segre… 08/20/2014 on Racism +1
#30 - Funnyjunk will become the new bastion of truth!!  [+] (1 new reply) 08/19/2014 on Not even /b/ talks about this +6
User avatar #31 - citruslord (08/19/2014) [-]
All hail Glorious Leader!
#27 - If you're really going to start your own journalism thing, be …  [+] (8 new replies) 08/19/2014 on Not even /b/ talks about this +8
User avatar #28 - carefree (08/19/2014) [-]
I write on a professional level and I'm looking for stuff to add to my portfolio, and I play a lot of video games. I'd love to help out with this sort of stuff, especially on a site with journalistic integrity. Count me in, Serapharbiter!
User avatar #375 - admin (08/20/2014) [-]
gaming web traffic is worth jack squat. gamers too cheap.

go make your own site and post articles then come back and let me know how it went.
#34 - webeballin (08/19/2014) [-]
I'm a pretty decent writer, and I wouldn't mind getting in on this pure video game journalism idea, that is if you are accepting applications.
User avatar #148 - serapharbiter (08/20/2014) [-]
Not just yet, I haven't even established a website
Or a name for the matter... but since everybody seems to favor this, I might just go ahead and do it.

Might be awhile though since I have little website creation experience, but I know what it takes and who to get help from, especially from FJ as captainfuckitall said.

If this manages to take off, Ill be sure to come back to you and carefree and Ill inform FJ.
#403 - neosword (08/20/2014) [-]
There's no way i wouldn't want to be a part of this, no matter how small of a part it is
User avatar #400 - wittypotato (08/20/2014) [-]
Do it bro, I believe in you! Keep me updated.
User avatar #376 - admin (08/20/2014) [-]
gaming web traffic is worth jack squat. gamers too cheap.

go make your own site and post articles then come back and let me know how it went.
User avatar #334 - carefree (08/20/2014) [-]
We're rooting for you, man!
#11 - That's very true! We also know that the black kid was an aggre… 08/19/2014 on People these days +19
#5 - He's not exactly wrong though. It's not the friend's fault if … 08/19/2014 on Loius C.K. is my hero +4
#38 - Wouldn't the REAL global average be even smaller though? Consi… 08/19/2014 on Poor admin 0
#154 - I'm pretty sure they all say their own name, actually. "G…  [+] (4 new replies) 08/18/2014 on D'aww 0
#168 - alexanderh (08/19/2014) [-]
From the comics I've read so far, his people all say "I am groot" or "groot", not their own name. He was given the name "groot" because that's all he says, but he was given that name by rocket, not his own people. If you can find a comic that gives a different explanation, I'd love to read it.
#183 - neas (08/19/2014) [-]
His full title is King Groot the 23rd. I'm assuming his name Groot since he is king of Planet X.
#189 - alexanderh (08/19/2014) [-]
Looks like he has several origin stories. The one I read most recently had him be a child who got exiled for beating up other groot.
User avatar #192 - neas (08/19/2014) [-]
Yeah I read that too. He's been called a king all throughout the comic series and when I read that it confused the hell out of me.
#14 - You really don't seem to understand what anyone is saying, do …  [+] (19 new replies) 08/18/2014 on Alpha stage +15
#38 - landcucumber (08/18/2014) [-]
Not to mention she didn't have to be rude when he called her. She could of just said sorry I changed my mind, and went about the day But she took the path of an ass hat.
User avatar #40 - antiponiesuser (08/18/2014) [-]
Y bcuz thta wouldnt be rude. Or not giving him her number at all.

whatever man, FJ is full of retarded hypocrites who call anyone betafag one moment, and poor friendzoned guy the other.

I knew many girls in highschool who talked with the weirdo out of pity, and then they started ignoring him when he got overly-attached.

but ofc FJ is full of mega wise people and mature who know absolutely everything.
#54 - emptysuperman (08/18/2014) [-]
I'll take a shit load of red thumbs to say I agree with you. Except I think she was being cowardly by not just telling him "no" to begin with. Though, that's not really that bad and certainly doesn't make her a cunt.
User avatar #63 - antiponiesuser (08/18/2014) [-]
i liek you
User avatar #53 - choobe (08/18/2014) [-]
I see what is happening here... you have just read/watched a video about how the friend zone doesn't exist, and how people on "equal" level searched out each other, and how the beta guy doesn't have a chance with the hot girl, because she wants to be with hot boys, and you're eager to act superior. So eager that you latch on to a subject matter that has just a tiny bit of relevance, and try to disregard it according to your newfound discovery, regardless of if that makes sense or not. That's it isn't it?
User avatar #56 - antiponiesuser (08/18/2014) [-]
no, its just Darwin's Natural Selection.

Good genes tend to search for good genes. If she gave him false hope, it was because she didn't wan't to seem as a douche at the moment, but afterwards she had a change of hearts or mind.
User avatar #58 - choobe (08/18/2014) [-]
I do know what natural selection is. You really just want to act superior don't you?

And it is a bitch move to give a fake number, it will still make you seem like a douche, but you will seem like a coward too, who can't reject someone to their face. And when she realizes that she actually gave the him her actual number, she should just rejected him nicely ("I changed my mind" etc), instead of being a bitch about it.

And no-one has actually said she should have gotten with him, so just put your "GOOD GENES LIKE GOOD GENES LOL" arguments away, it's not about that. It's about that she is a cunt for rejecting him like that.
User avatar #60 - antiponiesuser (08/18/2014) [-]
doesnt matter anyhow you will never see him again.

YOU JUDGE YOURSELF FOR YOUR INTENTIONS

YOU JUDGE OTHERS FOR THEIR ACTS

there. have it put nicely. Dude i am not backing down because im rigther than the dude who invented 1+1=2.

the gurl can do as she pleases. You can call her a bitch and whatever, and she probably IS one, but in the end still didnt bang her. The conclussion is the only thing that matters. Fin. Get over the damn bitch already
User avatar #67 - choobe (08/18/2014) [-]
Nice philosophy dude/girl.

Okay, not backing down. Got it.

Agreed it's a bitch move. Okay. Then we agree.

Doesn't matter? You started it when you went all righteous on the person who said "What a cunt."
User avatar #68 - antiponiesuser (08/18/2014) [-]
well you can call her a cunt, but that doesnt mean she wasnt in her right to spit him in the face.
ok exagerating over, look, because of the genes lotery, many people have hard life, myself included (somewhat) , and even if I am a white cis privileged scum, ive had some pretty huge problems because of my genes or condition ( being born in foreign country, having to move to spain, had to tolerate racism and shit, lost job opportunities because of this and many other bad things )

and dont even gete me started on the poor kids who are born in north korea or africa or god knows where. They had bad luck with the genes pool and the condition of their birth.

So if this faggit starts crying bcuz some bitch prefered the typical jacked bro, imma gonna call him faggot for sure.

Its not so bad or horrible if a girl acts all bitchy on you, specially considerng the rest of the world.

But once again, this is Funnyjunk, where moralfags like myself are destined to die in red thumbs, and be called ''trolls'', while 7/11 was funny and 4chan cruelties more so and a long etc.

have a nice day/night, i know neither of us will change their mind, so its pointless to keep this discussion.
User avatar #70 - choobe (08/18/2014) [-]
"Telling someone they can't be sad because someone has it worse, is like telling someone they can't be happy because someone has it better" - Some random quote I found on the Internet once.

And he's (probably) in a First World Country, of course all his problems will be First World Problems.
User avatar #71 - antiponiesuser (08/18/2014) [-]
well thats a pretty god damn good argument.

but still, of failures in my life, ive had some with girls too, so I cant take this dude seriously. Its just not possible for me. I mean, of all the wide range of things that can go good or bad, this is one of the most common failures, so its not such a big fuss.
User avatar #74 - choobe (08/18/2014) [-]
Fair enough.
User avatar #75 - antiponiesuser (08/18/2014) [-]
also please look down so you can see my comment and counter comment as an annon.

its an experiment to see how fj comunity reacts.
User avatar #50 - pedrophile (08/18/2014) [-]
I find it hilarious how they are still living the disney fantasy of unconditional love.
Motherfuckers if you want unconditional love from a woman in a relationship marry your mom.
User avatar #62 - antiponiesuser (08/18/2014) [-]
i liek you
#47 - jonball (08/18/2014) [-]
someone put this on a cringe post, please.
#41 - anonymous (08/18/2014) [-]
Yes bcuz that werido was you.

Then when you started to get ignored you thought that all the girls are the same, and this is normal to happen.

It isnt. Most girls are pretty nice and they can politely tell you ''No''.

But of course you don't understand any of this bcuz you are the weirdo.
#72 - antiponiesuser (08/18/2014) [-]
surprise bitches it was me all along
#47 - Honestly? That's an incredibly stupid thing to say. The ONLY t… 08/17/2014 on Ill have what shes having. 0
#23 - "Hey, come out, Dinner's ready!" "Awesome m…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/17/2014 on Accurate +46
#44 - amusingusername (08/17/2014) [-]
Then when you are late 5 minutes and errybody starts yelling at you for never doing things on time.
#28 - vladimirtepes (08/17/2014) [-]
Mom: *calls my name*
Me: "Yes?"
Mom: *silence*
Me: "What do you want, woman?"
Mom: *silence*
Me: *Goes back to playing game*
Mom: *Calls my name* "Nobody listens to me."
#11 - RattleRattleRattleRattle 08/16/2014 on Spooky Skeleton 0
#122 - I honestly don't understand what everyone is complaining about… 08/16/2014 on Anyone still getting malware? 0
#3 - Except that's not a picture of Hanako of the Toilet, it's Tek-…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/16/2014 on The reason they get good... +9
User avatar #4 - foxlift (08/16/2014) [-]
Thanks, that was very informative and interesting. I love hearing about asian folklore.
#11 - No, who's on first, what's on second, I don't know's on third.…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/15/2014 on Will of the D. 0
User avatar #12 - masdercheef (08/15/2014) [-]
You mean to tell me you don't know these fellows' names?
#9 - No, no, no, What's on second. Who's on first.  [+] (3 new replies) 08/15/2014 on Will of the D. 0
#10 - moghulking (08/15/2014) [-]
Im on first then run to second then run all the way home to win the game.
User avatar #11 - captainfuckitall (08/15/2014) [-]
No, who's on first, what's on second, I don't know's on third. Home is tomorrow.
User avatar #12 - masdercheef (08/15/2014) [-]
You mean to tell me you don't know these fellows' names?

Comments(481):

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User avatar #489 - myfourthaccount (07/18/2014) [-]
dude, you're like my most favorite person on earth right now haha
User avatar #487 - imvlad (05/04/2014) [-]
you brought shame to your house
User avatar #483 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Have you by chance had an older account here before?
User avatar #484 to #483 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was deleted for some reason I never found, so I just made another.
#485 to #484 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 to #485 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no ******* mates, Dave".
User avatar #481 - iforgotmyothername (03/20/2014) [-]
you are one cool tempered potato compared to me, bringing my fury upon your wrongness. i salute you, and thumbed up all your comments in the a capella debate.
User avatar #482 to #481 - captainfuckitall (03/20/2014) [-]
It's alright, I apologize for making you upset, but you don't need to thumb my posts up. Thumbs are a way to express positivity or negativity toward any type of comments; if you do not like them, it is perfectly within your right to thumb them down.
#480 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
#479 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
#478 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
#477 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
#476 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
User avatar #474 - aherorising (11/20/2013) [-]
you're a really cool bro
#471 - shiifter (10/06/2013) [-]
This still makes me giggle.

Oh and by the way, i never actually thumbed you down. I just said that i did.
User avatar #472 to #471 - captainfuckitall (10/06/2013) [-]
The thing is, the way I found OUT you gave me those thumbs was because of the question mark, which allows people to see who voted on content. I could only KNOW it was you if you had thumbed them down, which you did.

And now you not only prove to be an idiot, but a liar as well.
#473 to #472 - shiifter (10/12/2013) [-]
Wait? You still remembered that? That's hilarious.

By the way, i screencapped this. it's like a trophy.
User avatar #468 - satrenkotheone (09/22/2013) [-]
I would just like to say thank you.
#466 - anonymous (08/25/2013) [-]
Due to your pointlessly rude comment on the post "Jesus ain't got time for **** ",

I have gone through 20 of your previous comments and thumbed them all down.

You're also a stupid, unfunny, tryhard feelfag. Exactly the kind of user that this site is infamous for.
User avatar #467 to #466 - captainfuckitall (08/25/2013) [-]
I wasn't pointlessly rude. If you read it more carefully, you would find I am not insulting your god or faith, but rather, the people who spread it about; and even they are just doing it to themselves, while I am mearly making an observation

It's ironic you call me tryhard, considering you just went through the time to thumb-down my last 20 comments as if it would have any effect on me personally or my ranking here. It's also odd you call me stupid, considering you were the one who read it uncorrectly. And I think the fact I have so many comment thumbs anyways (including my own jesus comment) speaks to the point that I am, in fact, quite hilarious. "Feelfag", is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone who is passionate about certain things? If so, then I take pride in it, as it is only through passion that things grow.

Considering you are pretentious, arrogant, immature, and without a sense of humour; you fit the criteria for '12 year old funnyjunker' far better than I do.
#463 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.   
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.   
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.   
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
User avatar #464 to #463 - captainfuckitall (07/16/2013) [-]
You are just a wonderful person, you know that? Thank you very much for your kind words and appreciation, and I'm glad you have made an account and made many friends here, including myself
#465 to #464 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
You're welcome, good sir.
You're welcome, good sir.
User avatar #461 - potgardener (06/01/2013) [-]
youre pretty ****** in the head if beating a kid is a good idea, parents would need to hit their kids if they taught them what was right and wrong from the beginning
User avatar #462 to #461 - captainfuckitall (06/01/2013) [-]
It's ironic how you talk about avoiding situations, when your very comment isn't needed considering I already explained, about five times now, that I do not mean you must 'abuse' your children in order to get good results. My comment, and all the comments afterwards, were about how when compassion and support fails you must turn to punishment and discipline, including simply smacking your kid upside the head

Perhaps you should read more and get better informed before jumping to opinions, yes?
#459 - bossdelainternet (05/11/2013) [-]
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest  threads i've seen this year.   
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...   
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest threads i've seen this year.
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
User avatar #460 to #459 - captainfuckitall (05/11/2013) [-]
I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult

I choose the former

Thank you, good sir
#453 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
I just thought I'd let you know that I just did an awful thing and quoted your majestic deep words of death wisdom onto my facebook. I gave you credit, but as part of my shame for stealing I thought I'd tell you. That was honestly one of the best things I've ever read.

Which is also why I screencapped it. Don't worry I swear I'm not going to try to get to frontpage with it I just wanted to save it.
User avatar #454 to #453 - captainfuckitall (11/12/2012) [-]
Not at all, I am not concerned with thumbs in the least. If you would like to post it, by all means do so, if you'd like to take credit, do so as well; I care not for material value or fame, as long as comprehend and understand the message
#455 to #454 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
Oh man you just keep getting better:)    
   
But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
Oh man you just keep getting better:)

But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
#449 - captainspankmonkey (02/27/2012) [-]
Internet problems
That is why :P
User avatar #450 to #460 - captainfuckitall (02/27/2012) [-]
ahhh, haha, sorry then :P
#447 - anonymous (09/26/2011) [-]
you're a lovely person
User avatar #448 to #458 - captainfuckitall (09/26/2011) [-]
awe, thank you, kind stranger :3

that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :D
#444 - captainspankmonkey (08/22/2011) [-]
Im becoming level 28 soon
User avatar #445 to #454 - captainfuckitall (08/22/2011) [-]
sooooooooooooooooon............
User avatar #446 to #455 - captainspankmonkey (08/22/2011) [-]
very soooooooooooooooooooooon......
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