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captainfuckitall

Rank #368 on Comments
captainfuckitall Avatar Level 349 Comments: Sold Soul
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Date Signed Up:4/12/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#368
Highest Content Rank:#10530
Highest Comment Rank:#49
Content Thumbs: 34 total,  90 ,  56
Comment Thumbs: 53048 total,  64790 ,  11742
Content Level Progress: 66.1% (39/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 6.8% (68/1000)
Level 349 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 350 Comments: Knight Of Funnyjunk
Subscribers:21
Content Views:9742
Times Content Favorited:12 times
Total Comments Made:15450
FJ Points:21293

latest user's comments

#11 - Guise...guise...guise...when comment 50 comes around...chances…  [+] (2 new replies) 03/10/2013 on Sleep facts 0
User avatar #23 - sherlockbatman (03/10/2013) [-]
"teenagers"
not everyone commenting fits that category
I'm 20, do I count?
I'm sure some people here are 30, 40, whatever.
we might never even get 50 teens in the comments
User avatar #64 - captainfuckitall (03/10/2013) [-]
Well I'm soo-RY worlds greatest detective
#10 - Or you just don't remember, which is far more likely  [+] (7 new replies) 03/10/2013 on Sleep facts 0
User avatar #12 - blargedyblarg (03/10/2013) [-]
no, even when you wake up you still remember a little over 50% of the dream. with me i close my eyes a few seconds of darkness and my alarm clock is going off like a bunch of angry hornets
User avatar #13 - captainfuckitall (03/10/2013) [-]
No, that's when you wake up DURING your dream. Usually you got to sleep, after an hour you start to dream, then you dream really vividly, then you start dreaming normally, then you start just sleeping

You have dreams, you just have really good sleep

Source: BBC Dream documentaries
User avatar #15 - blargedyblarg (03/10/2013) [-]
AND i have insomnia to boot. so no i dont have good sleep.if i sleep for more that 4 hours im more tired than when i wEnt to sleep, for the WHOLE FUCKING DAY
User avatar #16 - captainfuckitall (03/10/2013) [-]
For the same reason you trust a doctor to diagnose people and not yourself, otherwise you get "Oh, coughing, must be cancer". Besides, I'd rather trust a documentary with actual experts in their field than some guy on the internet. So what? That doesn't affect your dreams/sleep or cause personality disorders; insomnia means you can't sleep, not that you suck at sleeping. Besides, it sounds like you're just staying up/have body rhythm geared to it rather than insomnia
User avatar #14 - blargedyblarg (03/10/2013) [-]
why thefuck do i care what what a documentary says. everyones mind operates diffrently. so why should i go by a study of a few peoples minds and not mine own inner being?
User avatar #30 - fromthefuture (03/10/2013) [-]
Im pretty sure the dude was just trying to comfort you so you wouldnt think something was wrong with you, good job treating him like a dick.
User avatar #24 - sherlockbatman (03/10/2013) [-]
I just had a sleep study done.
I have insomnia pretty bad. If I get to sleep at all, it'll only be for an hour or two.
Sleep study confirmed that I'm not dreaming.
apparently, it's not uncommon. not everyone gets a disorder from it.
also, the longest I've been unable to sleep is 2 weeks. didn't die.
facts confirmed for bullshit.
#9 - Except ancient religions didn't focus much on "Hell"…  [+] (2 new replies) 03/10/2013 on prayers vs medicine +5
User avatar #14 - reican (03/10/2013) [-]
you can kill a man who has done you a misdeed, but to a man who has shown you a deed you will show the same deed onto the next.

which was better than
"You shan't have other gods than me! then I will punish you!!" which makes the God of Christianity sound like an arrogant prick.
User avatar #15 - captainfuckitall (03/10/2013) [-]
Indeed. You're a good man, I like you
#206 - Except you're not making anyone butthurt. Just because you get… 03/09/2013 on I had too. Desc 0
#6 - Pull them up Walk away 03/09/2013 on That's not where I left you +3
#118 - That's probably when he went to visit Ben 10 03/09/2013 on Lady Parts 0
#381 - I'm not talking about what logic is, I'm talking about followi…  [+] (1 new reply) 03/08/2013 on Actual North Korean Poster 0
User avatar #385 - TheWinBot (03/08/2013) [-]
I was simply responding to your original remark implying that the event being shown in the poster was a lie, which it isn't. This also isn't common information ( war crimes committed by the "good guys" are rarely spoken about ).
#18 - Ah, but that would have required lifting, sir... 03/08/2013 on Give this man a medal +7
#5 - I would have liked to see the highest rated comment... 03/08/2013 on Cancerous Title +11
#361 - "Could have been" "So ya. Not a lie" …  [+] (3 new replies) 03/08/2013 on Actual North Korean Poster 0
User avatar #362 - TheWinBot (03/08/2013) [-]
logic is when there are no facts to base your answers off of. the fact is americans entered the village of my lai, rounded up nearly every man woman and child, murdered them, took a lunch break, murdered more men women and children, threw their bodies in ditches, and left. I am not saying america is terrible and all of its soldiers are cruel heartless monsters, I am american also. All i am saying is that people who know nothing about war shouldn't comment about it.

What is depicted in that poster is shockingly similar to photographs of the my lai massacre. If you don't believe me, go look it up.
User avatar #381 - captainfuckitall (03/08/2013) [-]
I'm not talking about what logic is, I'm talking about following a logical process, which you did not. Yes, they did do that, but the poster may very well be of something different, or before that event occurred. Nor am I saying anything of that nature, and I'm Canadian; and what the hell does that have to do with knowing war? Are you suddenly on par with Sun Tzu for knowing that common information? Massacres occur all the time, it's nothing special

I don't care if its similar, that's not my issue, the OP made a post of the image in regards to HIS belief that it was a propaganda poster, so I informed him that propaganda was a tactic used by every military
User avatar #385 - TheWinBot (03/08/2013) [-]
I was simply responding to your original remark implying that the event being shown in the poster was a lie, which it isn't. This also isn't common information ( war crimes committed by the "good guys" are rarely spoken about ).
#141 - Finish the job, obviously 03/08/2013 on What would you do? 0
#60 - I haven't had dunkuroo's in, like........ eons 03/08/2013 on Woman Driver Goes Nuts 0
#46 - I know, I just mean she visited Las Vegas as well as some othe… 03/08/2013 on fuckin' Muricans going on... 0
#43 - She wasn't specific. I apologize on her behalf  [+] (2 new replies) 03/08/2013 on fuckin' Muricans going on... 0
User avatar #45 - garvielxloken (03/08/2013) [-]
Just letting you know that Las Vegas isn't a state xD
User avatar #46 - captainfuckitall (03/08/2013) [-]
I know, I just mean she visited Las Vegas as well as some other cities in other states
#246 - I love the absolutely massive gap between this highest rated c…  [+] (1 new reply) 03/08/2013 on We made a silent agreement... +2
User avatar #247 - EdwardNigma (03/08/2013) [-]
I know, right?

It's over 800.
#100 - Comment deleted 03/08/2013 on Actual North Korean Poster 0
#13 - SPIDER LASER LIGHT SHOW!!! 03/08/2013 on Fear 0
#88 - You mean we're not?  [+] (1 new reply) 03/08/2013 on Actual North Korean Poster +1
#89 - ogloko (03/08/2013) [-]
shit.... well i know like 6 canadians who arent. they must be the only ones?
#24 - Never again shall environmentalists be able to say "Plant… 03/08/2013 on oh god what the fuck +1
#84 - It's more of an expression than a literal term, it just means …  [+] (3 new replies) 03/08/2013 on Actual North Korean Poster 0
#87 - ogloko (03/08/2013) [-]
again, allow me to correct you. the americans that go on and on about their freedoms are not the ones willing to give it up for security. the latter are the loud, whiney minority.

in other words, what you said is like me saying all canadians are maple syrup guzzling lumberjacks that play hockey
User avatar #88 - captainfuckitall (03/08/2013) [-]
You mean we're not?
#89 - ogloko (03/08/2013) [-]
shit.... well i know like 6 canadians who arent. they must be the only ones?
#77 - You don't, though; if you ask most foreigners who know about A…  [+] (7 new replies) 03/08/2013 on Actual North Korean Poster 0
#81 - ogloko (03/08/2013) [-]
1. thats a ridiculous thing to say. im well versed in the constitution and american law and politics and it works nothing like a police state, regardless of what these "foreigners who know about america" say.
2. china and russia may be able to match be sheer number, but im pretty sure we have them beat tech-wise
3. i have no bone to pick with canada. i just felt the need to inform you why you are wrong
User avatar #280 - ICEDgrunge (03/08/2013) [-]
I've just been scrolling through the comments, just browsing through what everyone is saying, and now I find it fucking histerical that you've went from a NK propoganda post to having to debate over the fuckin' constitution. God I love people.
#383 - ogloko (03/08/2013) [-]
we shoot to kill and aim to please, sir ; )
User avatar #84 - captainfuckitall (03/08/2013) [-]
It's more of an expression than a literal term, it just means that Americans are willing to sacrifice the same freedom they go on and on about for a little bit of security.

Everything becomes moot in the face of Nuclear power, which they can match you in. Besides, it all depends on what you consider in the "best" army, whether best means best trained soldiers, more soldiers, or more firepower (Sun Tzu disagrees with all three)

That's alright, if I truly am wrong I shall accept it with grace and dignity and I apologize if I happened to offend you
#87 - ogloko (03/08/2013) [-]
again, allow me to correct you. the americans that go on and on about their freedoms are not the ones willing to give it up for security. the latter are the loud, whiney minority.

in other words, what you said is like me saying all canadians are maple syrup guzzling lumberjacks that play hockey
User avatar #88 - captainfuckitall (03/08/2013) [-]
You mean we're not?
#89 - ogloko (03/08/2013) [-]
shit.... well i know like 6 canadians who arent. they must be the only ones?
#76 - Of course they do, they're American. The same way here, people… 03/08/2013 on Actual North Korean Poster -2
#72 - What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy… 03/08/2013 on Actual North Korean Poster +8
#70 - Good point. But it's a safer bet to assume they were just tryi… 03/08/2013 on Actual North Korean Poster 0
#69 - And all Americans are good at is bitching about DEM FREEDUMS a…  [+] (18 new replies) 03/08/2013 on Actual North Korean Poster +3
#142 - anonymous (03/08/2013) [-]
Dude...don't fall for the troll. The guy probably isn't even American, and you're giving him exactly what he wants.
#101 - silentnigga (03/08/2013) [-]
who needs soldiers when you can just hire rebel guerrilla regimes to topple foreign democracies AKA AMERICAN POLITICS
#105 - martmart (03/08/2013) [-]
#97 - therobsorensen (03/08/2013) [-]
No, no, no. Canada is the hat, Mexico is the pants, and America is the stomach ;)

#155 - anonymous (03/08/2013) [-]
Stomachs wear hats?
#74 - komradkthulu (03/08/2013) [-]
300 some odd million Yanks think of Canada has a hat. About a tenth of that, America is the pants. Just goin' on numbers, one is more well-known at least.

But no, srs, you're both fucking idiots.
#341 - mrdrpage (03/08/2013) [-]
'Murica.
User avatar #82 - captfuckhead (03/08/2013) [-]
Mexico is the pants.
User avatar #76 - captainfuckitall (03/08/2013) [-]
Of course they do, they're American. The same way here, people only say we're "the hat" when they're joking around, while most of the time America is the pants. It's just based upon where you live, is all. And you seem to misunderstand, sir; I have absolutely nothing against America, I just figured that if he is going to be obnoxious I may as well try my hand at it
#73 - ogloko (03/08/2013) [-]
so what point are you making? we are inferior because we have freedoms and our military has the best weapons? go suck on an icicle ya bitch
User avatar #77 - captainfuckitall (03/08/2013) [-]
You don't, though; if you ask most foreigners who know about America, about America, they think of it more as a police state than a free state. Nor do you have the best weapons, I'm pretty sure China or Russia could easily match you

All that good jazz aside, I have no bone to pick with America and mean no disrespect to Americans in general. The gentleman above you (and above the other gentleman) simple wanted to be obnoxious, so I tried a hand at it myself
#81 - ogloko (03/08/2013) [-]
1. thats a ridiculous thing to say. im well versed in the constitution and american law and politics and it works nothing like a police state, regardless of what these "foreigners who know about america" say.
2. china and russia may be able to match be sheer number, but im pretty sure we have them beat tech-wise
3. i have no bone to pick with canada. i just felt the need to inform you why you are wrong
User avatar #280 - ICEDgrunge (03/08/2013) [-]
I've just been scrolling through the comments, just browsing through what everyone is saying, and now I find it fucking histerical that you've went from a NK propoganda post to having to debate over the fuckin' constitution. God I love people.
#383 - ogloko (03/08/2013) [-]
we shoot to kill and aim to please, sir ; )
User avatar #84 - captainfuckitall (03/08/2013) [-]
It's more of an expression than a literal term, it just means that Americans are willing to sacrifice the same freedom they go on and on about for a little bit of security.

Everything becomes moot in the face of Nuclear power, which they can match you in. Besides, it all depends on what you consider in the "best" army, whether best means best trained soldiers, more soldiers, or more firepower (Sun Tzu disagrees with all three)

That's alright, if I truly am wrong I shall accept it with grace and dignity and I apologize if I happened to offend you
#87 - ogloko (03/08/2013) [-]
again, allow me to correct you. the americans that go on and on about their freedoms are not the ones willing to give it up for security. the latter are the loud, whiney minority.

in other words, what you said is like me saying all canadians are maple syrup guzzling lumberjacks that play hockey
User avatar #88 - captainfuckitall (03/08/2013) [-]
You mean we're not?
#89 - ogloko (03/08/2013) [-]
shit.... well i know like 6 canadians who arent. they must be the only ones?

Comments(489):

[ 489 comments ]

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#492 - miia ONLINE (12/13/2014) [-]
User avatar #494 to #492 - captainfuckitall (12/13/2014) [-]
Well aren't you a sweetheart for helping me get over my fear
#495 to #494 - miia ONLINE (12/13/2014) [-]
im actually about to go to bed but hi
User avatar #496 to #495 - captainfuckitall (12/13/2014) [-]
Well don't let me keep you. Hi back, and feel free to continue the conversation any time.
User avatar #490 - commencingfailure (09/30/2014) [-]
******* retard compares the IS to today's feminists. One could say ignorance is an everspreading cancer, you did your job to increase the spread.
User avatar #491 to #490 - captainfuckitall (09/30/2014) [-]
You seem REALLY mad, friend. Perhaps you should calm down and take some ass ointment before you need to see a doctor
User avatar #489 - myfourthaccount (07/18/2014) [-]
dude, you're like my most favorite person on earth right now haha
User avatar #487 - imvlad (05/04/2014) [-]
you brought shame to your house
User avatar #483 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Have you by chance had an older account here before?
User avatar #484 to #483 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was deleted for some reason I never found, so I just made another.
#485 to #484 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 to #485 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no ******* mates, Dave".
User avatar #481 - iforgotmyothername (03/20/2014) [-]
you are one cool tempered potato compared to me, bringing my fury upon your wrongness. i salute you, and thumbed up all your comments in the a capella debate.
User avatar #482 to #481 - captainfuckitall (03/20/2014) [-]
It's alright, I apologize for making you upset, but you don't need to thumb my posts up. Thumbs are a way to express positivity or negativity toward any type of comments; if you do not like them, it is perfectly within your right to thumb them down.
User avatar #474 - aherorising (11/20/2013) [-]
you're a really cool bro
#471 - shiifter (10/06/2013) [-]
This still makes me giggle.

Oh and by the way, i never actually thumbed you down. I just said that i did.
User avatar #472 to #471 - captainfuckitall (10/06/2013) [-]
The thing is, the way I found OUT you gave me those thumbs was because of the question mark, which allows people to see who voted on content. I could only KNOW it was you if you had thumbed them down, which you did.

And now you not only prove to be an idiot, but a liar as well.
#473 to #472 - shiifter (10/12/2013) [-]
Wait? You still remembered that? That's hilarious.

By the way, i screencapped this. it's like a trophy.
User avatar #468 - satrenkotheone ONLINE (09/22/2013) [-]
I would just like to say thank you.
#466 - anonymous (08/25/2013) [-]
Due to your pointlessly rude comment on the post "Jesus ain't got time for **** ",

I have gone through 20 of your previous comments and thumbed them all down.

You're also a stupid, unfunny, tryhard feelfag. Exactly the kind of user that this site is infamous for.
User avatar #467 to #466 - captainfuckitall (08/25/2013) [-]
I wasn't pointlessly rude. If you read it more carefully, you would find I am not insulting your god or faith, but rather, the people who spread it about; and even they are just doing it to themselves, while I am mearly making an observation

It's ironic you call me tryhard, considering you just went through the time to thumb-down my last 20 comments as if it would have any effect on me personally or my ranking here. It's also odd you call me stupid, considering you were the one who read it uncorrectly. And I think the fact I have so many comment thumbs anyways (including my own jesus comment) speaks to the point that I am, in fact, quite hilarious. "Feelfag", is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone who is passionate about certain things? If so, then I take pride in it, as it is only through passion that things grow.

Considering you are pretentious, arrogant, immature, and without a sense of humour; you fit the criteria for '12 year old funnyjunker' far better than I do.
#463 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.   
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.   
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.   
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
User avatar #464 to #463 - captainfuckitall (07/16/2013) [-]
You are just a wonderful person, you know that? Thank you very much for your kind words and appreciation, and I'm glad you have made an account and made many friends here, including myself
#465 to #464 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
You're welcome, good sir.
You're welcome, good sir.
User avatar #461 - potgardener (06/01/2013) [-]
youre pretty ****** in the head if beating a kid is a good idea, parents would need to hit their kids if they taught them what was right and wrong from the beginning
User avatar #462 to #461 - captainfuckitall (06/01/2013) [-]
It's ironic how you talk about avoiding situations, when your very comment isn't needed considering I already explained, about five times now, that I do not mean you must 'abuse' your children in order to get good results. My comment, and all the comments afterwards, were about how when compassion and support fails you must turn to punishment and discipline, including simply smacking your kid upside the head

Perhaps you should read more and get better informed before jumping to opinions, yes?
#459 - bossdelainternet (05/11/2013) [-]
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest  threads i've seen this year.   
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...   
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest threads i've seen this year.
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
User avatar #460 to #459 - captainfuckitall (05/11/2013) [-]
I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult

I choose the former

Thank you, good sir
#453 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
I just thought I'd let you know that I just did an awful thing and quoted your majestic deep words of death wisdom onto my facebook. I gave you credit, but as part of my shame for stealing I thought I'd tell you. That was honestly one of the best things I've ever read.

Which is also why I screencapped it. Don't worry I swear I'm not going to try to get to frontpage with it I just wanted to save it.
User avatar #454 to #453 - captainfuckitall (11/12/2012) [-]
Not at all, I am not concerned with thumbs in the least. If you would like to post it, by all means do so, if you'd like to take credit, do so as well; I care not for material value or fame, as long as comprehend and understand the message
#455 to #454 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
Oh man you just keep getting better:)    
   
But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
Oh man you just keep getting better:)

But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
#449 - captainspankmonkey (02/27/2012) [-]
Internet problems
That is why :P
User avatar #450 to #460 - captainfuckitall (02/27/2012) [-]
ahhh, haha, sorry then :P
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