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captainfuckitall

Rank #371 on Comments
captainfuckitall Avatar Level 349 Comments: Sold Soul
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Last status update:
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Personal Info
Date Signed Up:4/12/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#371
Highest Content Rank:#10530
Highest Comment Rank:#49
Content Thumbs: 34 total,  90 ,  56
Comment Thumbs: 53680 total,  65571 ,  11891
Content Level Progress: 66.1% (39/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 48.2% (482/1000)
Level 349 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 350 Comments: Knight Of Funnyjunk
Subscribers:22
Content Views:9755
Times Content Favorited:12 times
Total Comments Made:15600
FJ Points:21707

latest user's comments

#13 - You know, if there really is such thing as an infinitely power…  [+] (6 new replies) 05/21/2013 on . +3
User avatar #14 - leostar (05/21/2013) [-]
Yeah. And if he is out there, there is NO WAY he's the god of the bible.
User avatar #19 - HarvietheDinkle (05/21/2013) [-]
you're assuming human logic is correct.
User avatar #20 - leostar (05/21/2013) [-]
well, it doesnt matter what anyone thinks. He is either real, or not real. Looking at that facts, the god of the bible is overwhelmingly improbable.
User avatar #21 - HarvietheDinkle (05/21/2013) [-]
improbable =/= impossible.

And again. This is simply using what we consider to be "common sense" (which, as quantum physics/other high-level science has revealed, sometimes goes against what reality actually is).
User avatar #23 - leostar (05/21/2013) [-]
Your argument is fairly valid. But there are certain assumptions we all must take to progress. For example, we must assume that the universe is real and not just a perception.
User avatar #24 - HarvietheDinkle (05/21/2013) [-]
aww yiss

i agree.
#50 - Always remember kids You will never be as bad as this… 05/21/2013 on Of all the shit I've seen... 0
#68 - You better go back to them, you ************* … 05/21/2013 on Sad sad love. 0
#20 - I know, I'm just saying  [+] (1 new reply) 05/21/2013 on Hairy pot 0
User avatar #21 - dunkleosteus (05/21/2013) [-]
you have a point
#16 - I know that's what it implies. But in his post, he claimed he …  [+] (3 new replies) 05/21/2013 on Hairy pot 0
User avatar #18 - dunkleosteus (05/21/2013) [-]
but all he did was talk to it. Talking is a metaphor in this sense.
User avatar #20 - captainfuckitall (05/21/2013) [-]
I know, I'm just saying
User avatar #21 - dunkleosteus (05/21/2013) [-]
you have a point
#5 - Comment deleted  [+] (1 new reply) 05/21/2013 on Celebrities Read Mean... +136
#14 - jackkingoff Comment deleted by captainfuckitall
#4 - Fun fact: certain breeds of Starfish are the messiest eaters i…  [+] (4 new replies) 05/21/2013 on cute bundles of death +90
#47 - gigzara (05/21/2013) [-]
Reminds of me, but I cant remove or grow my own stomache. Im on sea-food diet, see food and I eat it.
#44 - flyingtrees (05/21/2013) [-]
Brutal
#23 - anonymous (05/21/2013) [-]
they're species, not breeds.
no one is going around and breeding certain starfish so that they can herniate their intestines.
#39 - anonymous (05/21/2013) [-]
Not since the accident
#10 - This is the kinda thing a true hero does 05/21/2013 on The Feels +5
#3 - So he talked...to a penis? What?  [+] (5 new replies) 05/21/2013 on Hairy pot 0
User avatar #12 - dunkleosteus (05/21/2013) [-]
he sucked a dick.
User avatar #16 - captainfuckitall (05/21/2013) [-]
I know that's what it implies. But in his post, he claimed he talked to a snake, and his friend replied "a one eyed snake", so he just talked to a penis. It would have been better if he said "So I charmed a snake today" as that can imply much
User avatar #18 - dunkleosteus (05/21/2013) [-]
but all he did was talk to it. Talking is a metaphor in this sense.
User avatar #20 - captainfuckitall (05/21/2013) [-]
I know, I'm just saying
User avatar #21 - dunkleosteus (05/21/2013) [-]
you have a point
#6 - This reminds me of this one FML post where this woman's mom sh…  [+] (6 new replies) 05/21/2013 on Overly Attached Mother +138
#72 - SunilCCXXXVII (05/21/2013) [-]
This reminds me of when there was an episode on Naruto where they were trying to get Kakashi to show his face.
#60 - quinos (05/21/2013) [-]
Yeah her degree was from UChicago so she figured she'd have her daughter go there as well.
User avatar #10 - phantomi (05/21/2013) [-]
it reminded me of the one where the mom used cyanide in home-cooked meals she sent him to get him fired so he would have to come home
#43 - alderus has deleted their comment.
User avatar #56 - notstill (05/21/2013) [-]
It was ramen noodles
User avatar #84 - phantomi (05/21/2013) [-]
Yeah sorry I forgot
#67 - True, maybe it is known but simply denied. But it does matter … 05/20/2013 on Fucking parents 0
#65 - Maybe it shouldn't matter what age she was, you should get to …  [+] (2 new replies) 05/20/2013 on Fucking parents 0
User avatar #66 - rhiaanor (05/20/2013) [-]
maybe she knows the name but either the story teller didnt say it, or why the fuck would it even matter? Hey son I fucked brittany collart from english 3 that lived on 93rd and blue bird on that spot. Yeah uh... huh....
User avatar #67 - captainfuckitall (05/20/2013) [-]
True, maybe it is known but simply denied. But it does matter if she doesn't want to be thought of as a slut. The mother obviously doesn't care, so what's the problem with me thinking and saying she is? And you don't have to know the exact details of sexual relations, but I for one at least know the names of everyone I've slept with as well as had personal relationships with them, and if I forget, I would simply say I forgot

Calm down, there's nobody here that needs defending, nor nobody here who cares to be defended
#40 - "Some guy" Jesus christ, woman. Control you…  [+] (5 new replies) 05/20/2013 on Fucking parents +5
User avatar #56 - rhiaanor (05/20/2013) [-]
MAYBE IT WAS WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER AND THE NAME WASNT IMPORTANT YOU FUCK
User avatar #65 - captainfuckitall (05/20/2013) [-]
Maybe it shouldn't matter what age she was, you should get to know people and actually enjoy their company before you fuck on a dock, get a splinter in your ass, and finish in a car. I get that she's allowed to have her own sex life any way she wants, but I'm also allowed to think of it any way I want, and I think she's a slut
User avatar #66 - rhiaanor (05/20/2013) [-]
maybe she knows the name but either the story teller didnt say it, or why the fuck would it even matter? Hey son I fucked brittany collart from english 3 that lived on 93rd and blue bird on that spot. Yeah uh... huh....
User avatar #67 - captainfuckitall (05/20/2013) [-]
True, maybe it is known but simply denied. But it does matter if she doesn't want to be thought of as a slut. The mother obviously doesn't care, so what's the problem with me thinking and saying she is? And you don't have to know the exact details of sexual relations, but I for one at least know the names of everyone I've slept with as well as had personal relationships with them, and if I forget, I would simply say I forgot

Calm down, there's nobody here that needs defending, nor nobody here who cares to be defended
#51 - anonymous (05/20/2013) [-]
She had fucked /planned u given herbal things bee TRUST WATCHERS ME/ LUFEW
#21 - Isn't it kinda redundant to use an acronym and then explain wh… 05/19/2013 on Not sure what I think about... +5
#5 - >Implying aspiring to be a criminal mastermind isn't someth… 05/19/2013 on Just girly things +8
#9 - Comment deleted  [+] (1 new reply) 05/19/2013 on Secondhand-Shop +5
#34 - bobthedilder Comment deleted by captainfuckitall
#3 - Extra milky milk that tastes.... milky  [+] (1 new reply) 05/19/2013 on The Lactocalypse +56
#22 - anonymous (05/19/2013) [-]
Extra evil...
#16 - I know, right? I mean, my grandfather was in a concentration c…  [+] (1 new reply) 05/19/2013 on Dumb Bitches +7
#27 - angelodlt (05/19/2013) [-]
That was an unexpected turn
#262 - I don't know if you noticed, but we're speaking over text thro… 05/18/2013 on Signals 0
#1889 - "Fabulous voice" This is the first time I e… 05/18/2013 on Mine is The Faceless... 0
#1884 - That's actually pretty badass 05/18/2013 on Mine is The Faceless... +1
#254 - I know full well the effect of society's impact and also take … 05/18/2013 on Signals 0
#248 - No, I'm assuming he's willing to follow up on HER first move. … 05/18/2013 on Signals 0
#247 - Should my name be relevant? Would you take me any more serious…  [+] (2 new replies) 05/18/2013 on Signals 0
User avatar #261 - ICEDgrunge (05/18/2013) [-]
Fucking christ it was a joke. I know there's a stick up your ass but it isn't cool to beat people with it.
User avatar #262 - captainfuckitall (05/18/2013) [-]
I don't know if you noticed, but we're speaking over text through Funnyjunk, you never exactly know what you can take as a joke

Furthermore, how can you speak to me as if I'm this uptight prude, when you're the one flying off the handle when I simply commented that names are unimportant
#246 - Haha, indeed. Arrogance can be a downfall of many 05/18/2013 on Signals 0

Comments(489):

[ 489 comments ]

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#492 - miia ONLINE (12/13/2014) [-]
User avatar #494 to #492 - captainfuckitall (12/13/2014) [-]
Well aren't you a sweetheart for helping me get over my fear
#495 to #494 - miia ONLINE (12/13/2014) [-]
im actually about to go to bed but hi
User avatar #496 to #495 - captainfuckitall (12/13/2014) [-]
Well don't let me keep you. Hi back, and feel free to continue the conversation any time.
User avatar #490 - commencingfailure (09/30/2014) [-]
******* retard compares the IS to today's feminists. One could say ignorance is an everspreading cancer, you did your job to increase the spread.
User avatar #491 to #490 - captainfuckitall (09/30/2014) [-]
You seem REALLY mad, friend. Perhaps you should calm down and take some ass ointment before you need to see a doctor
User avatar #489 - myfourthaccount (07/18/2014) [-]
dude, you're like my most favorite person on earth right now haha
User avatar #487 - imvlad (05/04/2014) [-]
you brought shame to your house
User avatar #483 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Have you by chance had an older account here before?
User avatar #484 to #483 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was deleted for some reason I never found, so I just made another.
#485 to #484 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 to #485 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no ******* mates, Dave".
User avatar #481 - iforgotmyothername (03/20/2014) [-]
you are one cool tempered potato compared to me, bringing my fury upon your wrongness. i salute you, and thumbed up all your comments in the a capella debate.
User avatar #482 to #481 - captainfuckitall (03/20/2014) [-]
It's alright, I apologize for making you upset, but you don't need to thumb my posts up. Thumbs are a way to express positivity or negativity toward any type of comments; if you do not like them, it is perfectly within your right to thumb them down.
#480 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
#479 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
#478 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
#477 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
#476 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
User avatar #474 - aherorising (11/20/2013) [-]
you're a really cool bro
#471 - shiifter (10/06/2013) [-]
This still makes me giggle.

Oh and by the way, i never actually thumbed you down. I just said that i did.
User avatar #472 to #471 - captainfuckitall (10/06/2013) [-]
The thing is, the way I found OUT you gave me those thumbs was because of the question mark, which allows people to see who voted on content. I could only KNOW it was you if you had thumbed them down, which you did.

And now you not only prove to be an idiot, but a liar as well.
#473 to #472 - shiifter (10/12/2013) [-]
Wait? You still remembered that? That's hilarious.

By the way, i screencapped this. it's like a trophy.
User avatar #468 - satrenkotheone (09/22/2013) [-]
I would just like to say thank you.
#466 - anonymous (08/25/2013) [-]
Due to your pointlessly rude comment on the post "Jesus ain't got time for **** ",

I have gone through 20 of your previous comments and thumbed them all down.

You're also a stupid, unfunny, tryhard feelfag. Exactly the kind of user that this site is infamous for.
User avatar #467 to #466 - captainfuckitall (08/25/2013) [-]
I wasn't pointlessly rude. If you read it more carefully, you would find I am not insulting your god or faith, but rather, the people who spread it about; and even they are just doing it to themselves, while I am mearly making an observation

It's ironic you call me tryhard, considering you just went through the time to thumb-down my last 20 comments as if it would have any effect on me personally or my ranking here. It's also odd you call me stupid, considering you were the one who read it uncorrectly. And I think the fact I have so many comment thumbs anyways (including my own jesus comment) speaks to the point that I am, in fact, quite hilarious. "Feelfag", is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone who is passionate about certain things? If so, then I take pride in it, as it is only through passion that things grow.

Considering you are pretentious, arrogant, immature, and without a sense of humour; you fit the criteria for '12 year old funnyjunker' far better than I do.
#463 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.   
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.   
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.   
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
User avatar #464 to #463 - captainfuckitall (07/16/2013) [-]
You are just a wonderful person, you know that? Thank you very much for your kind words and appreciation, and I'm glad you have made an account and made many friends here, including myself
#465 to #464 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
You're welcome, good sir.
You're welcome, good sir.
User avatar #461 - potgardener (06/01/2013) [-]
youre pretty ****** in the head if beating a kid is a good idea, parents would need to hit their kids if they taught them what was right and wrong from the beginning
User avatar #462 to #461 - captainfuckitall (06/01/2013) [-]
It's ironic how you talk about avoiding situations, when your very comment isn't needed considering I already explained, about five times now, that I do not mean you must 'abuse' your children in order to get good results. My comment, and all the comments afterwards, were about how when compassion and support fails you must turn to punishment and discipline, including simply smacking your kid upside the head

Perhaps you should read more and get better informed before jumping to opinions, yes?
#459 - bossdelainternet (05/11/2013) [-]
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest  threads i've seen this year.   
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...   
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest threads i've seen this year.
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
User avatar #460 to #459 - captainfuckitall (05/11/2013) [-]
I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult

I choose the former

Thank you, good sir
#453 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
I just thought I'd let you know that I just did an awful thing and quoted your majestic deep words of death wisdom onto my facebook. I gave you credit, but as part of my shame for stealing I thought I'd tell you. That was honestly one of the best things I've ever read.

Which is also why I screencapped it. Don't worry I swear I'm not going to try to get to frontpage with it I just wanted to save it.
User avatar #454 to #453 - captainfuckitall (11/12/2012) [-]
Not at all, I am not concerned with thumbs in the least. If you would like to post it, by all means do so, if you'd like to take credit, do so as well; I care not for material value or fame, as long as comprehend and understand the message
#455 to #454 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
Oh man you just keep getting better:)    
   
But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
Oh man you just keep getting better:)

But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
#449 - captainspankmonkey (02/27/2012) [-]
Internet problems
That is why :P
User avatar #450 to #460 - captainfuckitall (02/27/2012) [-]
ahhh, haha, sorry then :P
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