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captainfuckitall

Rank #329 on Comments
captainfuckitall Avatar Level 349 Comments: Sold Soul
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Date Signed Up:4/12/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#329
Highest Content Rank:#10530
Highest Comment Rank:#49
Content Thumbs: 34 total,  90 ,  56
Comment Thumbs: 52973 total,  64676 ,  11703
Content Level Progress: 66.1% (39/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 1.9% (19/1000)
Level 349 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 350 Comments: Knight Of Funnyjunk
Subscribers:21
Content Views:9735
Times Content Favorited:12 times
Total Comments Made:15418
FJ Points:21244

latest user's comments

#179 - Indeed it can get that way. If I may make a suggestion: Cut do…  [+] (3 new replies) 09/12/2013 on Doctors hate this guy! +1
User avatar #183 - greedtheavaricious (09/12/2013) [-]
I do drink a lot of water, yeah. Cutting down on unhealthy stuff just isn't easy if all there ever is at home you can take to work is bread... and there is no bakery or something, means all I can eat at work is unhealthy stuff when I get hungry. Fukken gas stations, man.
But that shouldn't be a problem with a bit of self control and just buy something else. Maybe some apples or bananas for inbetween, never wrong with that. And filling.
User avatar #188 - captainfuckitall (09/12/2013) [-]
Quite so. Something I actually noticed, when you cut a lot of junk food out of your diet for an extended period of time, when you try to eat them again they just taste...bad. I can honestly say I don't even LIKE junk-food or chocolate anymore. Pop just tastes like fizz, too much chocolate gives me a stomach ache, and most other junk just tastes...bad
User avatar #191 - greedtheavaricious (09/12/2013) [-]
Yup, kind of know that. Been addicted to coke for quite a while. Now it tastes... weird. Also chocolate. Barely eat it anymore. It doesn't taste bad.... just, well, kind of weird. Still enjoyable, just not something I'd want to have more than once a week. And only a little.
#95 - It's interesting that you say Wikipedia is a bad source, consi… 09/12/2013 on culture 0
#94 - There is word about abolishing it, they just didn't do it. 09/12/2013 on culture 0
#93 - You're letting your emotions dominate and getting angry, this … 09/12/2013 on culture 0
#122 - >Implying anyone could look as fabulous as him 09/12/2013 on Doctors hate this guy! +1
#88 - "In 2002, a moratorium was declared on stoning in Iran. I… 09/12/2013 on culture 0
#86 - No, it doesn't make it look better. I do read, but apparently … 09/12/2013 on culture 0
#85 - I did post a link, you have yet to post anything. I didn't say… 09/12/2013 on culture 0
#43 - I honestly wish I could, I feel great; but I don't have a came… 09/12/2013 on Doctors hate this guy! 0
#41 - Neither fantasy nor mana could prevent me from marrying one su…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/12/2013 on Doctors hate this guy! 0
User avatar #57 - atzekatze (09/12/2013) [-]
I see what you did there..
#3 - **** you, I just spent the last three months lift…  [+] (33 new replies) 09/12/2013 on Doctors hate this guy! +187
User avatar #177 - greedtheavaricious (09/12/2013) [-]
On it for like... two weeks or something now. Going good so far. The right food is the difficult part most of the time, not the workouts.
User avatar #179 - captainfuckitall (09/12/2013) [-]
Indeed it can get that way. If I may make a suggestion: Cut down on sweets and bread, that's it, you'll find yourself losing a lot of weight pretty quickly, especially when you're drinking lots of water
User avatar #183 - greedtheavaricious (09/12/2013) [-]
I do drink a lot of water, yeah. Cutting down on unhealthy stuff just isn't easy if all there ever is at home you can take to work is bread... and there is no bakery or something, means all I can eat at work is unhealthy stuff when I get hungry. Fukken gas stations, man.
But that shouldn't be a problem with a bit of self control and just buy something else. Maybe some apples or bananas for inbetween, never wrong with that. And filling.
User avatar #188 - captainfuckitall (09/12/2013) [-]
Quite so. Something I actually noticed, when you cut a lot of junk food out of your diet for an extended period of time, when you try to eat them again they just taste...bad. I can honestly say I don't even LIKE junk-food or chocolate anymore. Pop just tastes like fizz, too much chocolate gives me a stomach ache, and most other junk just tastes...bad
User avatar #191 - greedtheavaricious (09/12/2013) [-]
Yup, kind of know that. Been addicted to coke for quite a while. Now it tastes... weird. Also chocolate. Barely eat it anymore. It doesn't taste bad.... just, well, kind of weird. Still enjoyable, just not something I'd want to have more than once a week. And only a little.
#173 - anonymous (09/12/2013) [-]
pic or didn happen
User avatar #180 - captainfuckitall (09/12/2013) [-]
I wish I could, but my computer is a two bit piece of shit and I don't have a camera
#160 - oliball (09/12/2013) [-]
3 months?
you're saying that like its some sort of an achievement
3 months is nothing
are you a summer fag?
User avatar #181 - captainfuckitall (09/12/2013) [-]
What?
User avatar #157 - mastergoinbate (09/12/2013) [-]
I want to do all of those things! especially the beard
User avatar #182 - captainfuckitall (09/12/2013) [-]
The beard was the hardest part, actually. I have a goatee with a chin strap, I dry shave around it every day and cut the beard itself with scissors when it gets too unruly
User avatar #220 - mastergoinbate (09/13/2013) [-]
Im 16 and my dad didn't have facial hair until he was 20 so I have a long way to go. I also need a good workout plan...
User avatar #221 - captainfuckitall (09/13/2013) [-]
Participate in sports
Hang out with men
Participate in competitive activities
Watch born/have sex (whatever you can do to anticipate sex)
Eat red meat
Massage your face

The first five will increase your testosterone, not only giving you more bone density and muscle mass (and manliness in general), but it will greatly increase the levels of hair growth, especially body and facial hair

The last will stimulate the hair follicles on the face, causing greater growth
User avatar #223 - mastergoinbate (09/13/2013) [-]
Fuck yea man thanks. Good to know someone on here isn't a complete asshole
#108 - isiupick (09/12/2013) [-]
Do you look as fabulous as this guy is?
User avatar #122 - captainfuckitall (09/12/2013) [-]
>Implying anyone could look as fabulous as him
User avatar #81 - clappedcrack (09/12/2013) [-]
and you should feel fabulous
#38 - normana (09/12/2013) [-]
beard? Marry me
User avatar #41 - captainfuckitall (09/12/2013) [-]
Neither fantasy nor mana could prevent me from marrying one such as yourself
User avatar #57 - atzekatze (09/12/2013) [-]
I see what you did there..
User avatar #12 - waterbottlemanboy (09/12/2013) [-]
Show us your face.
User avatar #43 - captainfuckitall (09/12/2013) [-]
I honestly wish I could, I feel great; but I don't have a camera and my computer is a two bit piece of shit
User avatar #8 - seventhseeker (09/12/2013) [-]
yeah, and fuck destaice! i just spend 500 USD on pill from internet that makes me lose 30 kilos in just a week! And now i learn that there are actually girls who like chubby guys?! ...Thank god you dont have a fetish for small penises, or else my second Internet order would be a waste of money too!
User avatar #91 - destaice (09/12/2013) [-]
I'm a guy
#120 - lolollo (09/12/2013) [-]
*SUDDEN, RAPID ONSET DISINTEREST*
#209 - anonymous (09/12/2013) [-]
Well that was just cruel. I mean, i laughed but i feel really bad about it.
#9 - flyslasher (09/12/2013) [-]
Tape worm in a pill?
User avatar #10 - seventhseeker (09/12/2013) [-]
yikes. im not sure if such a thing exists, and if so, i dont wanna know.
#4 - notyaoming (09/12/2013) [-]
And you're like the one out of a hundred that takes personal responsibility to change your self. Good on ya!
User avatar #118 - ADeadlYLepricoN (09/12/2013) [-]
I lost 150 pounds in just over a year cause at 16 I was 240 pounds and I got sick of it.

More people dedicate time and effort to looking good than you would think..
User avatar #123 - srskate (09/12/2013) [-]
you weigh 90 fucking pounds?

Either you are a woman, a midget, or inhuman?
User avatar #124 - ADeadlYLepricoN (09/12/2013) [-]
oh no no no. that was just an example of how big i was. my highest weight was 290. got down to 130-140 then built some muscle.
User avatar #125 - srskate (09/12/2013) [-]
Oh thank god.

I thought you might have overdone it a bit for a second there.
#9 - I once went through an entire three day playthrough of that ga… 09/12/2013 on Baldur's Gate enhanced edition +4
#20 - All this book taught me was that if you worked hard, even if y… 09/12/2013 on How rainbows are made. 0
#12 - Comment deleted 09/12/2013 on How to take care of Baby Eren -1
#8 - 25$ and half a PB&J FOREVER 09/12/2013 on Eggs +2
#26 - EVERYONE MISINTERPRETS THE NAME, EVERYONE SINCE I FIRST SIGNED…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/12/2013 on U Jelly, Vegeta? +1
#27 - u do wat to sheep (09/12/2013) [-]
Welcome to FJ!
#24 - I do baaaahhhhhd things to sheep  [+] (3 new replies) 09/12/2013 on U Jelly, Vegeta? +5
#25 - u do wat to sheep (09/12/2013) [-]
well you're name does say Fuck it All, so I would assume so lol
User avatar #26 - captainfuckitall (09/12/2013) [-]
EVERYONE MISINTERPRETS THE NAME, EVERYONE SINCE I FIRST SIGNED ONTO THIS FUCKING WEBSITE!!

Okay, the name "Fuck-it-all" was not supposed to mean I have sex with everything with a hole, it was supposed to encompass my lack of interest and general attitude to most events that plague every day adventures. Such is the attitude someone would have when they are tired of dealing with bullshit, throwing up their hands and yelling "Oh, fuck it all" and just going to take a nap.
#27 - u do wat to sheep (09/12/2013) [-]
Welcome to FJ!
#80 - Eh, I would actually prefer the opposite. I dislike hypocrisy,… 09/12/2013 on culture 0
#20 - I hope I'm this famous, one day...  [+] (5 new replies) 09/12/2013 on U Jelly, Vegeta? +7
#22 - u do wat to sheep (09/12/2013) [-]
I love you captainfuckitall
User avatar #24 - captainfuckitall (09/12/2013) [-]
I do baaaahhhhhd things to sheep
#25 - u do wat to sheep (09/12/2013) [-]
well you're name does say Fuck it All, so I would assume so lol
User avatar #26 - captainfuckitall (09/12/2013) [-]
EVERYONE MISINTERPRETS THE NAME, EVERYONE SINCE I FIRST SIGNED ONTO THIS FUCKING WEBSITE!!

Okay, the name "Fuck-it-all" was not supposed to mean I have sex with everything with a hole, it was supposed to encompass my lack of interest and general attitude to most events that plague every day adventures. Such is the attitude someone would have when they are tired of dealing with bullshit, throwing up their hands and yelling "Oh, fuck it all" and just going to take a nap.
#27 - u do wat to sheep (09/12/2013) [-]
Welcome to FJ!
#5 - At first I thought he said "Such ammo" ...I…  [+] (10 new replies) 09/12/2013 on Ear Damage +131
#103 - imnotkickthecat (09/12/2013) [-]
#66 - tomtomvdp (09/12/2013) [-]
Fucking love Doge.
#104 - anonymous (09/12/2013) [-]
fucking hate it
#105 - tomtomvdp (09/12/2013) [-]
#62 - chachacobras (09/12/2013) [-]
such ammo
wow
so gun
User avatar #53 - repugnantpug (09/12/2013) [-]
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#45 - thecharliesheen (09/12/2013) [-]
User avatar #41 - kyrozor (09/12/2013) [-]
So fucking glad I wasn't the only one.
#21 - raheemshibaz (09/12/2013) [-]
is there such a thing?
#18 - Bloodgartham (09/12/2013) [-]
#13 - Dub-mim-woobly-spee-spee Oh good lords 09/12/2013 on what's in a name 0
#13 - Well he's my favourite author, so my bias would say all of it … 09/12/2013 on The green looks good on you! +1
#127 - There's an old lifter's saying "If you want to be big, ea… 09/12/2013 on "Did you know" #2 +2
#6 - I thumbed this down just so I could thumb it up twice 09/11/2013 on   +19
#1 - And lo, we see the very moment the poor creature decided he wa… 09/11/2013 on aw shit +1

Comments(488):

[ 488 comments ]

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#492 - miia ONLINE (12/13/2014) [-]
User avatar #494 to #492 - captainfuckitall (12/13/2014) [-]
Well aren't you a sweetheart for helping me get over my fear
#495 to #494 - miia ONLINE (12/13/2014) [-]
im actually about to go to bed but hi
User avatar #496 to #495 - captainfuckitall (12/13/2014) [-]
Well don't let me keep you. Hi back, and feel free to continue the conversation any time.
User avatar #490 - commencingfailure (09/30/2014) [-]
******* retard compares the IS to today's feminists. One could say ignorance is an everspreading cancer, you did your job to increase the spread.
User avatar #491 to #490 - captainfuckitall (09/30/2014) [-]
You seem REALLY mad, friend. Perhaps you should calm down and take some ass ointment before you need to see a doctor
User avatar #489 - myfourthaccount ONLINE (07/18/2014) [-]
dude, you're like my most favorite person on earth right now haha
User avatar #487 - imvlad (05/04/2014) [-]
you brought shame to your house
User avatar #483 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Have you by chance had an older account here before?
User avatar #484 to #483 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was deleted for some reason I never found, so I just made another.
#485 to #484 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 to #485 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no ******* mates, Dave".
User avatar #481 - iforgotmyothername (03/20/2014) [-]
you are one cool tempered potato compared to me, bringing my fury upon your wrongness. i salute you, and thumbed up all your comments in the a capella debate.
User avatar #482 to #481 - captainfuckitall (03/20/2014) [-]
It's alright, I apologize for making you upset, but you don't need to thumb my posts up. Thumbs are a way to express positivity or negativity toward any type of comments; if you do not like them, it is perfectly within your right to thumb them down.
#480 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
#479 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
#478 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
#477 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
#476 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
User avatar #474 - aherorising (11/20/2013) [-]
you're a really cool bro
#471 - shiifter (10/06/2013) [-]
This still makes me giggle.

Oh and by the way, i never actually thumbed you down. I just said that i did.
User avatar #472 to #471 - captainfuckitall (10/06/2013) [-]
The thing is, the way I found OUT you gave me those thumbs was because of the question mark, which allows people to see who voted on content. I could only KNOW it was you if you had thumbed them down, which you did.

And now you not only prove to be an idiot, but a liar as well.
#473 to #472 - shiifter (10/12/2013) [-]
Wait? You still remembered that? That's hilarious.

By the way, i screencapped this. it's like a trophy.
User avatar #468 - satrenkotheone (09/22/2013) [-]
I would just like to say thank you.
#466 - anonymous (08/25/2013) [-]
Due to your pointlessly rude comment on the post "Jesus ain't got time for **** ",

I have gone through 20 of your previous comments and thumbed them all down.

You're also a stupid, unfunny, tryhard feelfag. Exactly the kind of user that this site is infamous for.
User avatar #467 to #466 - captainfuckitall (08/25/2013) [-]
I wasn't pointlessly rude. If you read it more carefully, you would find I am not insulting your god or faith, but rather, the people who spread it about; and even they are just doing it to themselves, while I am mearly making an observation

It's ironic you call me tryhard, considering you just went through the time to thumb-down my last 20 comments as if it would have any effect on me personally or my ranking here. It's also odd you call me stupid, considering you were the one who read it uncorrectly. And I think the fact I have so many comment thumbs anyways (including my own jesus comment) speaks to the point that I am, in fact, quite hilarious. "Feelfag", is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone who is passionate about certain things? If so, then I take pride in it, as it is only through passion that things grow.

Considering you are pretentious, arrogant, immature, and without a sense of humour; you fit the criteria for '12 year old funnyjunker' far better than I do.
#463 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.   
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.   
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.   
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
User avatar #464 to #463 - captainfuckitall (07/16/2013) [-]
You are just a wonderful person, you know that? Thank you very much for your kind words and appreciation, and I'm glad you have made an account and made many friends here, including myself
#465 to #464 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
You're welcome, good sir.
You're welcome, good sir.
User avatar #461 - potgardener (06/01/2013) [-]
youre pretty ****** in the head if beating a kid is a good idea, parents would need to hit their kids if they taught them what was right and wrong from the beginning
User avatar #462 to #461 - captainfuckitall (06/01/2013) [-]
It's ironic how you talk about avoiding situations, when your very comment isn't needed considering I already explained, about five times now, that I do not mean you must 'abuse' your children in order to get good results. My comment, and all the comments afterwards, were about how when compassion and support fails you must turn to punishment and discipline, including simply smacking your kid upside the head

Perhaps you should read more and get better informed before jumping to opinions, yes?
#459 - bossdelainternet (05/11/2013) [-]
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest  threads i've seen this year.   
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...   
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest threads i've seen this year.
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
User avatar #460 to #459 - captainfuckitall (05/11/2013) [-]
I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult

I choose the former

Thank you, good sir
#453 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
I just thought I'd let you know that I just did an awful thing and quoted your majestic deep words of death wisdom onto my facebook. I gave you credit, but as part of my shame for stealing I thought I'd tell you. That was honestly one of the best things I've ever read.

Which is also why I screencapped it. Don't worry I swear I'm not going to try to get to frontpage with it I just wanted to save it.
User avatar #454 to #453 - captainfuckitall (11/12/2012) [-]
Not at all, I am not concerned with thumbs in the least. If you would like to post it, by all means do so, if you'd like to take credit, do so as well; I care not for material value or fame, as long as comprehend and understand the message
#455 to #454 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
Oh man you just keep getting better:)    
   
But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
Oh man you just keep getting better:)

But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
#449 - captainspankmonkey (02/27/2012) [-]
Internet problems
That is why :P
User avatar #450 to #460 - captainfuckitall (02/27/2012) [-]
ahhh, haha, sorry then :P
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