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captainfuckitall    

Rank #395 on Comments
captainfuckitall Avatar Level 345 Comments: Sold Soul
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Personal Info
Date Signed Up:4/12/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#395
Highest Content Rank:#10530
Highest Comment Rank:#49
Content Thumbs: 34 total,  90 ,  56
Comment Thumbs: 48287 total,  59228 ,  10941
Content Level Progress: 66.1% (39/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 76.2% (762/1000)
Level 345 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 346 Comments: Sold Soul
Subscribers:20
Content Views:9683
Times Content Favorited:12 times
Total Comments Made:14689
FJ Points:17987

latest user's comments

#12 - How so? 08/10/2013 on What actually happened +1
#5 - >Be Canadian >Talking to an American girl over Skype…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/10/2013 on Sorry +56
#25 - atomschlumpf (08/10/2013) [-]
#12 - You know, I get Cthulhu is supposed to be portrayed as evil an… 08/10/2013 on All Hail! +1
#17 - I know, I'm sure he said it, I was just making a joke 08/10/2013 on fortuitous indeed +2
#14 - "I never said any of that. By the way, I never actually d…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/10/2013 on fortuitous indeed +15
User avatar #36 - lufieh (08/10/2013) [-]
He did.
User avatar #40 - captainfuckitall (08/10/2013) [-]
I know, as stated in a comment below
#98 - Since I felt like demoting them 08/10/2013 on White People 0
#97 - Damn, well that just goes to prove I'm not German, doesn't it?… 08/10/2013 on White People 0
#82 - It's even better, because nobody can say I'm racist for it. I'… 08/10/2013 on Sister 0
#255 - And they would still do all that without it, they would just g…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/10/2013 on Happy eid all -1
#268 - kingkee (08/12/2013) [-]
I have no bias hate towards religion, im literally just stating my opinion, with or without religion in this world i could not care less as its obviously not up to me to decide. Im just stating that religion brings people who do horrible things together and gives them a cause to release that evil in a 'justified' way. Yes it quite obviously brings charity and good things to this world for which I'm very grateful but the destructive side of religion has claimed a lot more than the good proper side of religion.
#77 - Indeed, but surely there must be that 'low point' even if just…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/09/2013 on Dark moments of history 0
User avatar #166 - spartusee (08/09/2013) [-]
Imagine being an undercover agent and being best friends with someone for 20+ years when the day finally comes. Time to fuck everyone over. No guns or knives or poison to kill him. You have to beat him to death with him crying bleeding and broken. He can't fight back because he's stuck. Everyone is moving to the communications building and you fell down. You're best friend Tom stops is being yelled at through an earpiece with stacks of sensitive documents in his hands, he is going to burn them when he sees you need help. He runs over to help you - and is tossed on the ground. He was never trained to fight but you were. He was your target to get close too because he had highly sought after information, but he was useless now. Every curb stomp to the teeth - he cries. Every punch to the gut - he spits out more blood. He begs for you to stop and asks "Why?". But you just beet him harder. You taunt him about all the embarrassing secrets he trusted you with over the years as you pummel him for you truly are happy to see him go.
User avatar #84 - daentraya (08/09/2013) [-]
There's no single point, but perhaps if you had a timemachine you could go back to the first time a tribe of humans killed another tribe of humans for a bullshit reason. Throughout all of human history, humans has been full of bullshit and has killed eachother, but how far back did this animal go against such a common rule of 'dont kill members of your own species?' Some other species does it, but there's often an evolutionary purpose behind it that helps the species as a whole
#27 - Thank you! 08/09/2013 on White People +1
#24 - Holy **** when did this just become a political d… 08/09/2013 on White People +2
#22 - Apparently so. I suppose you don't realize I was just…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/09/2013 on White People +3
#23 - icewraith has deleted their comment.
User avatar #24 - captainfuckitall (08/09/2013) [-]
Holy shit when did this just become a political debate?

I hate feminism, I think both sexes are equal in their own ways and neither should have superiority other the other. They were meant to be equals, not masters and slaves over one another. I am pro-homosexual actually, as you cannot control who you love and many more people understand that then are willing to admit, surely. And finally, I am not anti-white, as a matter of fact I am rather pro-white, I discourage mixed breeding and think you should try to stay within your own backyard when choosing a partner, so to speak, rather than mix with other races so each culture can protect its own valuable history and background

You ever hear that old quote "To 'assume' makes an ass out of u and me"? It was a fucking joke, not a burning baby, don't take it so seriously and lighten up.
#20 - Whites tend to be known for their jokes and quick-humour …  [+] (4 new replies) 08/09/2013 on White People +3
#21 - icewraith has deleted their comment.
User avatar #22 - captainfuckitall (08/09/2013) [-]
Apparently so.

I suppose you don't realize I was just trying to make a joke, right?
#23 - icewraith has deleted their comment.
User avatar #24 - captainfuckitall (08/09/2013) [-]
Holy shit when did this just become a political debate?

I hate feminism, I think both sexes are equal in their own ways and neither should have superiority other the other. They were meant to be equals, not masters and slaves over one another. I am pro-homosexual actually, as you cannot control who you love and many more people understand that then are willing to admit, surely. And finally, I am not anti-white, as a matter of fact I am rather pro-white, I discourage mixed breeding and think you should try to stay within your own backyard when choosing a partner, so to speak, rather than mix with other races so each culture can protect its own valuable history and background

You ever hear that old quote "To 'assume' makes an ass out of u and me"? It was a fucking joke, not a burning baby, don't take it so seriously and lighten up.
#19 - Oh wow, I was totally unaware that other people did bad things… 08/09/2013 on White People +2
#35 - The whole gif V.S. jif thing actually reminds me a lot of Grea… 08/09/2013 on Jifs +2
#5 - Don't be sad, buddy boy; come a year or so and she'll be cheat… 08/09/2013 on He'll never let you down +3
#1 - Dominant, decisive, ambitious, free-thinking, powerful, doesn'…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/09/2013 on Girl +45
#15 - outdrewfortytwo (08/09/2013) [-]
10/10 Would *pillage...
#8 - anonymous (08/09/2013) [-]
Actually vikings had the abillity to divorce the husband if he was being a prick, so yes free-thinking and powerful
#31 - aH! cAPTAIN cAPITAL, wE mEET aGAIN!  [+] (1 new reply) 08/09/2013 on Thank you +9
#33 - inuares (08/09/2013) [-]
E-Gads! You! It's Time To Make My Escape!
#9 - :b 08/09/2013 on Loitering is a crime 0
#16 - You know, as much as people might say otherwise, Whites really…  [+] (16 new replies) 08/09/2013 on White People +11
#87 - anonymous (08/09/2013) [-]
sorry germans, youve been demoted lol
User avatar #63 - stillnotbob (08/09/2013) [-]
Wait so if I'm German does that make me mixed race? Fuck yeah free grant money.
#58 - anonymous (08/09/2013) [-]
when did germans stop being white people?
User avatar #98 - captainfuckitall (08/10/2013) [-]
Since I felt like demoting them
#55 - dafogman (08/09/2013) [-]
...orbiting OUR planet...

Sorry dude, that was bugging the shit out of me. But it was funny!

But you forgot that the vast majority of serial killers are white as well.
User avatar #97 - captainfuckitall (08/10/2013) [-]
Damn, well that just goes to prove I'm not German, doesn't it?

Indeed, the vast majority of serial killers are white, and why are they serial killers? Because they fuckin' wanna be
#25 - badasszilla (08/09/2013) [-]
Don't worry, I knew it was a joke.
User avatar #27 - captainfuckitall (08/09/2013) [-]
Thank you!
#18 - anonymous (08/09/2013) [-]
Are you saying Germans cant be white?

Also, slavery had a reason, as far as the other shit on your list, I can almost guarantee that it isnt just white people who support/do those things.

Stop being so stupid.
User avatar #19 - captainfuckitall (08/09/2013) [-]
Oh wow, I was totally unaware that other people did bad things too, I must have forgot that part in the middle of making a joke

Calm down
#17 - icewraith has deleted their comment.
User avatar #20 - captainfuckitall (08/09/2013) [-]
Whites tend to be known for their jokes and quick-humour

Germans never make jokes, they make progress, that's how you can tell the difference
#21 - icewraith has deleted their comment.
User avatar #22 - captainfuckitall (08/09/2013) [-]
Apparently so.

I suppose you don't realize I was just trying to make a joke, right?
#23 - icewraith has deleted their comment.
User avatar #24 - captainfuckitall (08/09/2013) [-]
Holy shit when did this just become a political debate?

I hate feminism, I think both sexes are equal in their own ways and neither should have superiority other the other. They were meant to be equals, not masters and slaves over one another. I am pro-homosexual actually, as you cannot control who you love and many more people understand that then are willing to admit, surely. And finally, I am not anti-white, as a matter of fact I am rather pro-white, I discourage mixed breeding and think you should try to stay within your own backyard when choosing a partner, so to speak, rather than mix with other races so each culture can protect its own valuable history and background

You ever hear that old quote "To 'assume' makes an ass out of u and me"? It was a fucking joke, not a burning baby, don't take it so seriously and lighten up.
#1 - Sassy black women really are a requirement in every successful sitcom 08/09/2013 on Scrubs +4
#51 - I know it's deliberately copied after the female model in orde… 08/09/2013 on Well +2
#14 - Huh, a 4chan love story that didn't end with anyone being rape… 08/09/2013 on Worth the Read 2 Old but gold 0
#66 - In a Documentary featuring The Art of War and Sun Tzu, the kin…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/09/2013 on Happy eid all +1
User avatar #68 - minorian (08/09/2013) [-]
Wicked.

Comments(481):

[ 481 comments ]

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User avatar #489 - myfourthaccount (07/18/2014) [-]
dude, you're like my most favorite person on earth right now haha
User avatar #487 - imvlad (05/04/2014) [-]
you brought shame to your house
User avatar #483 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Have you by chance had an older account here before?
User avatar #484 to #483 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (04/22/2014) [-]
Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was deleted for some reason I never found, so I just made another.
#485 to #484 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 to #485 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no ******* mates, Dave".
User avatar #481 - iforgotmyothername (03/20/2014) [-]
you are one cool tempered potato compared to me, bringing my fury upon your wrongness. i salute you, and thumbed up all your comments in the a capella debate.
User avatar #482 to #481 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (03/20/2014) [-]
It's alright, I apologize for making you upset, but you don't need to thumb my posts up. Thumbs are a way to express positivity or negativity toward any type of comments; if you do not like them, it is perfectly within your right to thumb them down.
User avatar #474 - aherorising ONLINE (11/20/2013) [-]
you're a really cool bro
#471 - shiifter (10/06/2013) [-]
This still makes me giggle.

Oh and by the way, i never actually thumbed you down. I just said that i did.
User avatar #472 to #471 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (10/06/2013) [-]
The thing is, the way I found OUT you gave me those thumbs was because of the question mark, which allows people to see who voted on content. I could only KNOW it was you if you had thumbed them down, which you did.

And now you not only prove to be an idiot, but a liar as well.
#473 to #472 - shiifter (10/12/2013) [-]
Wait? You still remembered that? That's hilarious.

By the way, i screencapped this. it's like a trophy.
User avatar #468 - satrenkotheone ONLINE (09/22/2013) [-]
I would just like to say thank you.
User avatar #469 to #468 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (09/22/2013) [-]
For?
#466 - anonymous (08/25/2013) [-]
Due to your pointlessly rude comment on the post "Jesus ain't got time for **** ",

I have gone through 20 of your previous comments and thumbed them all down.

You're also a stupid, unfunny, tryhard feelfag. Exactly the kind of user that this site is infamous for.
User avatar #467 to #466 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (08/25/2013) [-]
I wasn't pointlessly rude. If you read it more carefully, you would find I am not insulting your god or faith, but rather, the people who spread it about; and even they are just doing it to themselves, while I am mearly making an observation

It's ironic you call me tryhard, considering you just went through the time to thumb-down my last 20 comments as if it would have any effect on me personally or my ranking here. It's also odd you call me stupid, considering you were the one who read it uncorrectly. And I think the fact I have so many comment thumbs anyways (including my own jesus comment) speaks to the point that I am, in fact, quite hilarious. "Feelfag", is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone who is passionate about certain things? If so, then I take pride in it, as it is only through passion that things grow.

Considering you are pretentious, arrogant, immature, and without a sense of humour; you fit the criteria for '12 year old funnyjunker' far better than I do.
#463 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.   
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.   
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.   
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
User avatar #464 to #463 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (07/16/2013) [-]
You are just a wonderful person, you know that? Thank you very much for your kind words and appreciation, and I'm glad you have made an account and made many friends here, including myself
#465 to #464 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
You're welcome, good sir.
You're welcome, good sir.
User avatar #461 - potgardener (06/01/2013) [-]
youre pretty ****** in the head if beating a kid is a good idea, parents would need to hit their kids if they taught them what was right and wrong from the beginning
User avatar #462 to #461 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (06/01/2013) [-]
It's ironic how you talk about avoiding situations, when your very comment isn't needed considering I already explained, about five times now, that I do not mean you must 'abuse' your children in order to get good results. My comment, and all the comments afterwards, were about how when compassion and support fails you must turn to punishment and discipline, including simply smacking your kid upside the head

Perhaps you should read more and get better informed before jumping to opinions, yes?
#459 - bossdelainternet (05/11/2013) [-]
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest  threads i've seen this year.   
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...   
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest threads i've seen this year.
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
User avatar #460 to #459 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (05/11/2013) [-]
I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult

I choose the former

Thank you, good sir
#453 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
I just thought I'd let you know that I just did an awful thing and quoted your majestic deep words of death wisdom onto my facebook. I gave you credit, but as part of my shame for stealing I thought I'd tell you. That was honestly one of the best things I've ever read.

Which is also why I screencapped it. Don't worry I swear I'm not going to try to get to frontpage with it I just wanted to save it.
User avatar #454 to #453 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (11/12/2012) [-]
Not at all, I am not concerned with thumbs in the least. If you would like to post it, by all means do so, if you'd like to take credit, do so as well; I care not for material value or fame, as long as comprehend and understand the message
#455 to #454 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
Oh man you just keep getting better:)    
   
But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
Oh man you just keep getting better:)

But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
#449 - captainspankmonkey (02/27/2012) [-]
Internet problems
That is why :P
User avatar #450 to #460 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (02/27/2012) [-]
ahhh, haha, sorry then :P
#447 - anonymous (09/26/2011) [-]
you're a lovely person
User avatar #448 to #458 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (09/26/2011) [-]
awe, thank you, kind stranger :3

that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :D
#444 - captainspankmonkey (08/22/2011) [-]
Im becoming level 28 soon
User avatar #445 to #454 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (08/22/2011) [-]
sooooooooooooooooon............
User avatar #446 to #455 - captainspankmonkey (08/22/2011) [-]
very soooooooooooooooooooooon......
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