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captainfuckitall    

Rank #293 on Comments
captainfuckitall Avatar Level 348 Comments: Sold Soul
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Date Signed Up:4/12/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#293
Highest Content Rank:#10530
Highest Comment Rank:#49
Content Thumbs: 34 total,  90 ,  56
Comment Thumbs: 52066 total,  63619 ,  11553
Content Level Progress: 66.1% (39/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 38.3% (383/1000)
Level 348 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 349 Comments: Sold Soul
Subscribers:21
Content Views:9728
Times Content Favorited:12 times
Total Comments Made:15223
FJ Points:20608

latest user's comments

#2 - "Sing on my dick" -Arin Hanson  [+] (3 new replies) 09/05/2013 on Mark Twain everybody... +1
User avatar #3 - kingofunnyjunk (09/05/2013) [-]
" What a cock!"
John Jafari
User avatar #4 - captainfuckitall (09/05/2013) [-]
His name is 'Jon', actually
User avatar #5 - kingofunnyjunk (09/05/2013) [-]
oh. allright.
#3 - She would be Diane Sitter if the stabber had it his way 09/05/2013 on The Worst Kind of Stabber +3
#17 - This really hits hard, because all through my life I had a ter…  [+] (2 new replies) 09/05/2013 on I always did +21
User avatar #67 - olliemereside (09/05/2013) [-]
Dude, you should try contact him
User avatar #74 - captainfuckitall (09/05/2013) [-]
I've tried, but he is living on his own somewhere in Edmonton, and he only contacts us maybe once a year (and can only do so for a few minuets, long distance charges being as they are). He doesn't have any social media I can message him by, nor do I know his address, and even if I did it would be one hell of a trip just to tell him I forgive him and understand
#4 - Comment deleted 09/05/2013 on Stuff No One Told Me -1
#9 - Ya, man; in medieval times, you still looked great when you go…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/05/2013 on The Middle Ages 0
#13 - tobloi (09/05/2013) [-]
More like 14-16, didn't live mu h older than 30-35 ish
#10 - I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that you were the ultimate authority…  [+] (2 new replies) 09/05/2013 on Wiser Words Were Never Spoken +7
#25 - fudgeypudgey has deleted their comment.
#17 - thransk has deleted their comment.
#8 - Well, I fell out of love with her, are you going to tell me I …  [+] (4 new replies) 09/05/2013 on Wiser Words Were Never Spoken +7
#9 - fudgeypudgey has deleted their comment.
User avatar #10 - captainfuckitall (09/05/2013) [-]
I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that you were the ultimate authority on love and what it should be.

I'm not trying to start an argument or a debate, because there is nothing to debate about. Yes, some love can last forever, others, despite even both parties' best efforts, do not. It's not some massive math problem or an unknown variable, it's just a simple fact that we have to live with whether we like it or not. If love couldn't die, then it couldn't be born or cultivated either
#25 - fudgeypudgey has deleted their comment.
#17 - thransk has deleted their comment.
#6 - Incorrect There are some people who live and love for…  [+] (14 new replies) 09/05/2013 on Wiser Words Were Never Spoken +23
User avatar #28 - captainfuckitall (09/05/2013) [-]
For those of you who want to know, he was saying infatuation fades but love is forever. When I told the story of me and my first love, he said she must have never really loved me. I retorted with comment below, and he said that falling 'out of love' just because the are seeing someone else shouldn't happen. I don't know what his last comment was
User avatar #26 - DarkCrow (09/05/2013) [-]
In Greece we learn to distinguish being in love from loving someone. We even got different words for these. Being in love fades away, but loving someone stays, as you love your family. It's like you care for someone very much. I think this feeling, once you have it, it never goes away. I had some really disastrous relationship some years ago but I loved her, and although I stopped being "in love" with her, I still care for what happens to her. That's what I define as love and the difference from being "in love". That's the best way I can find to explain it at least.
User avatar #27 - captainfuckitall (09/05/2013) [-]
That's fine, and I understand what you mean; yet even so I disagree. Some things ARE forever, arguably, including feelings; but some other things fade (After-all, you love someone for who they are, but who they are can change), and there's nothing wrong with that. Likewise, you are never obligated to love someone over circumstances you cannot control (such as family); love is something incredible and beautiful, and should have to be earned in whatever situation you may be in
User avatar #29 - DarkCrow (09/05/2013) [-]
I see your point. And I couldn't agree more on what it SHOULD be. But sometimes, you can't control whether the person you love deserves it or not. As for family, at least for me, it's like an instict to love them, to protect them, and whatnot. And only in extreme situations (physical abuse for example) would I be able to suppress this instict. But the perception of love depends on the person (the way they grew up etc etc). So we are both correct in a way.
#11 - realization (09/05/2013) [-]
That's deep, what I needed.
User avatar #12 - dedaluminus (09/05/2013) [-]
I bet with a username like that, you are slowly collecting the accumulated wisdom of the internet by reading all the comments that message you.
#15 - realization (09/05/2013) [-]
Yes I know... didn't know about it till after I made the account.
User avatar #13 - dedaluminus (09/05/2013) [-]
mention*
#7 - fudgeypudgey has deleted their comment.
User avatar #8 - captainfuckitall (09/05/2013) [-]
Well, I fell out of love with her, are you going to tell me I never loved her either? If you ask me, that's an even worse way to live than assuming there's no true love; just thinking everyone with a failed relationship (and got over it) never really loved the other person and were just in it for some ulterior motive

I know it's harsh, but everything can degrade eventually; that's just the basic law of the universe. However, it can also be made up again, and that's what we should be trying to promote
#9 - fudgeypudgey has deleted their comment.
User avatar #10 - captainfuckitall (09/05/2013) [-]
I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that you were the ultimate authority on love and what it should be.

I'm not trying to start an argument or a debate, because there is nothing to debate about. Yes, some love can last forever, others, despite even both parties' best efforts, do not. It's not some massive math problem or an unknown variable, it's just a simple fact that we have to live with whether we like it or not. If love couldn't die, then it couldn't be born or cultivated either
#25 - fudgeypudgey has deleted their comment.
#17 - thransk has deleted their comment.
#5 - "He who dies with the most toys still dies"  [+] (1 new reply) 09/05/2013 on Wiser Words Were Never Spoken 0
User avatar #21 - therealtjthemedic (09/05/2013) [-]
He who dies with the least toys dies too, but without toys.
#9 - I used to think Tumblr was kinda alright, now it just seems li… 09/05/2013 on Wide. Awake. 0
#8 - It's the same logic as in a 4chan beta thread. They have it th… 09/05/2013 on Wide. Awake. 0
#5 - You think that's incorrect? The A+ on my history test says otherwise 09/05/2013 on Age of Empires? 0
#27 - Considering the main point of my comment was how Africans bene… 09/05/2013 on History 0
#40 - Bitches don't know 'bout my Book of Dead Names 09/05/2013 on Eeeevil! 0
#25 - Obviously not because your comment had no context. In any case…  [+] (2 new replies) 09/05/2013 on History 0
User avatar #26 - uzbekistan (09/05/2013) [-]
That main point of your comment was that you would willingly let your ancestors be enslaved so you could have advanced technology in return for their suffering correct? What type of fool doesn't realize that when someone says something about your comment you can determine they were talking about the main point?
User avatar #27 - captainfuckitall (09/05/2013) [-]
Considering the main point of my comment was how Africans benefited from slavery, and my own narration was just a side point, I think it was rather logical to assume you were talking about my main point
#23 - You mean I should just give them my technology without them pa…  [+] (4 new replies) 09/05/2013 on History 0
User avatar #24 - uzbekistan (09/05/2013) [-]
You do realize I was talking about how they would take your ancestors as slaves right?
User avatar #25 - captainfuckitall (09/05/2013) [-]
Obviously not because your comment had no context. In any case, what the hell do I care for my great-great-grandparents? I've never met them, they breeded, happened to have me, they were never a part of my life nor was I ever a part of theirs, what the hell do I care if they had a good time or not?
User avatar #26 - uzbekistan (09/05/2013) [-]
That main point of your comment was that you would willingly let your ancestors be enslaved so you could have advanced technology in return for their suffering correct? What type of fool doesn't realize that when someone says something about your comment you can determine they were talking about the main point?
User avatar #27 - captainfuckitall (09/05/2013) [-]
Considering the main point of my comment was how Africans benefited from slavery, and my own narration was just a side point, I think it was rather logical to assume you were talking about my main point
#3 - ...Did I just witness an abduction? 09/05/2013 on (untootled) 0
#8 - Always remember kids, she is a malevolent eldritch abomination… 09/05/2013 on Coughing 0
#10 - Opposite rule of cooking, actually You can take more … 09/05/2013 on Size +2
#9 - >Implying you have any bigger 09/05/2013 on Size +21
#15 - Comment deleted  [+] (1 new reply) 09/05/2013 on In a Perfect World +18
#79 - nandaaz Comment deleted by captainfuckitall
#14 - I actually wonder how many minorities, if given the choice, wo…  [+] (6 new replies) 09/05/2013 on History 0
User avatar #17 - uzbekistan (09/05/2013) [-]
Or you could not be a selfish asshole?
User avatar #23 - captainfuckitall (09/05/2013) [-]
You mean I should just give them my technology without them paying for it?

What the fuck is this communist bullshit?
User avatar #24 - uzbekistan (09/05/2013) [-]
You do realize I was talking about how they would take your ancestors as slaves right?
User avatar #25 - captainfuckitall (09/05/2013) [-]
Obviously not because your comment had no context. In any case, what the hell do I care for my great-great-grandparents? I've never met them, they breeded, happened to have me, they were never a part of my life nor was I ever a part of theirs, what the hell do I care if they had a good time or not?
User avatar #26 - uzbekistan (09/05/2013) [-]
That main point of your comment was that you would willingly let your ancestors be enslaved so you could have advanced technology in return for their suffering correct? What type of fool doesn't realize that when someone says something about your comment you can determine they were talking about the main point?
User avatar #27 - captainfuckitall (09/05/2013) [-]
Considering the main point of my comment was how Africans benefited from slavery, and my own narration was just a side point, I think it was rather logical to assume you were talking about my main point
#19 - Is it just me, or is everytime a scene of a movie mentioned on…  [+] (1 new reply) 09/05/2013 on Dicaprio 0
User avatar #26 - tonytails (09/05/2013) [-]
scripted scenes in movies are usually not the legendary ones.
some of the most memorable moments in some of the most memorable movies are unscripted.
theres a youtube video with tons of legendary, uscripted moments in movies.
#20 - It actually doesn't matter how you pronounce it, as the name w…  [+] (2 new replies) 09/05/2013 on Eeeevil! 0
User avatar #38 - theavatarspupil (09/05/2013) [-]
Cthulu Fhtagn
User avatar #40 - captainfuckitall (09/05/2013) [-]
Bitches don't know 'bout my Book of Dead Names
#10 - I want to make love to you  [+] (6 new replies) 09/04/2013 on Watersports 0
User avatar #12 - snakefire (09/04/2013) [-]
Twi wants to make love to me and I'd let him.
User avatar #17 - ridivey (09/05/2013) [-]
let *him*? you mean her..........
...right...?
#36 - psykobear (09/05/2013) [-]
Nope.
#18 - snakefire (09/05/2013) [-]
Nope.
User avatar #81 - twi (10/19/2013) [-]
memories
#11 - blackdaddy has deleted their comment.

Comments(483):

[ 483 comments ]

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User avatar #490 - commencingfailure (09/30/2014) [-]
******* retard compares the IS to today's feminists. One could say ignorance is an everspreading cancer, you did your job to increase the spread.
User avatar #491 to #490 - captainfuckitall (09/30/2014) [-]
You seem REALLY mad, friend. Perhaps you should calm down and take some ass ointment before you need to see a doctor
User avatar #489 - myfourthaccount (07/18/2014) [-]
dude, you're like my most favorite person on earth right now haha
User avatar #487 - imvlad (05/04/2014) [-]
you brought shame to your house
User avatar #483 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Have you by chance had an older account here before?
User avatar #484 to #483 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was deleted for some reason I never found, so I just made another.
#485 to #484 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 to #485 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no ******* mates, Dave".
User avatar #481 - iforgotmyothername (03/20/2014) [-]
you are one cool tempered potato compared to me, bringing my fury upon your wrongness. i salute you, and thumbed up all your comments in the a capella debate.
User avatar #482 to #481 - captainfuckitall (03/20/2014) [-]
It's alright, I apologize for making you upset, but you don't need to thumb my posts up. Thumbs are a way to express positivity or negativity toward any type of comments; if you do not like them, it is perfectly within your right to thumb them down.
User avatar #474 - aherorising (11/20/2013) [-]
you're a really cool bro
#471 - shiifter (10/06/2013) [-]
This still makes me giggle.

Oh and by the way, i never actually thumbed you down. I just said that i did.
User avatar #472 to #471 - captainfuckitall (10/06/2013) [-]
The thing is, the way I found OUT you gave me those thumbs was because of the question mark, which allows people to see who voted on content. I could only KNOW it was you if you had thumbed them down, which you did.

And now you not only prove to be an idiot, but a liar as well.
#473 to #472 - shiifter (10/12/2013) [-]
Wait? You still remembered that? That's hilarious.

By the way, i screencapped this. it's like a trophy.
User avatar #468 - satrenkotheone (09/22/2013) [-]
I would just like to say thank you.
#466 - Womens Study Major (08/25/2013) [-]
Due to your pointlessly rude comment on the post "Jesus ain't got time for **** ",

I have gone through 20 of your previous comments and thumbed them all down.

You're also a stupid, unfunny, tryhard feelfag. Exactly the kind of user that this site is infamous for.
User avatar #467 to #466 - captainfuckitall (08/25/2013) [-]
I wasn't pointlessly rude. If you read it more carefully, you would find I am not insulting your god or faith, but rather, the people who spread it about; and even they are just doing it to themselves, while I am mearly making an observation

It's ironic you call me tryhard, considering you just went through the time to thumb-down my last 20 comments as if it would have any effect on me personally or my ranking here. It's also odd you call me stupid, considering you were the one who read it uncorrectly. And I think the fact I have so many comment thumbs anyways (including my own jesus comment) speaks to the point that I am, in fact, quite hilarious. "Feelfag", is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone who is passionate about certain things? If so, then I take pride in it, as it is only through passion that things grow.

Considering you are pretentious, arrogant, immature, and without a sense of humour; you fit the criteria for '12 year old funnyjunker' far better than I do.
#463 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.   
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.   
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.   
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
User avatar #464 to #463 - captainfuckitall (07/16/2013) [-]
You are just a wonderful person, you know that? Thank you very much for your kind words and appreciation, and I'm glad you have made an account and made many friends here, including myself
#465 to #464 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
You're welcome, good sir.
You're welcome, good sir.
User avatar #461 - potgardener (06/01/2013) [-]
youre pretty ****** in the head if beating a kid is a good idea, parents would need to hit their kids if they taught them what was right and wrong from the beginning
User avatar #462 to #461 - captainfuckitall (06/01/2013) [-]
It's ironic how you talk about avoiding situations, when your very comment isn't needed considering I already explained, about five times now, that I do not mean you must 'abuse' your children in order to get good results. My comment, and all the comments afterwards, were about how when compassion and support fails you must turn to punishment and discipline, including simply smacking your kid upside the head

Perhaps you should read more and get better informed before jumping to opinions, yes?
#459 - bossdelainternet (05/11/2013) [-]
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest  threads i've seen this year.   
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...   
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest threads i've seen this year.
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
User avatar #460 to #459 - captainfuckitall (05/11/2013) [-]
I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult

I choose the former

Thank you, good sir
#453 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
I just thought I'd let you know that I just did an awful thing and quoted your majestic deep words of death wisdom onto my facebook. I gave you credit, but as part of my shame for stealing I thought I'd tell you. That was honestly one of the best things I've ever read.

Which is also why I screencapped it. Don't worry I swear I'm not going to try to get to frontpage with it I just wanted to save it.
User avatar #454 to #453 - captainfuckitall (11/12/2012) [-]
Not at all, I am not concerned with thumbs in the least. If you would like to post it, by all means do so, if you'd like to take credit, do so as well; I care not for material value or fame, as long as comprehend and understand the message
#455 to #454 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
Oh man you just keep getting better:)    
   
But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
Oh man you just keep getting better:)

But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
#449 - captainspankmonkey (02/27/2012) [-]
Internet problems
That is why :P
User avatar #450 to #460 - captainfuckitall (02/27/2012) [-]
ahhh, haha, sorry then :P
#447 - Womens Study Major (09/26/2011) [-]
you're a lovely person
User avatar #448 to #458 - captainfuckitall (09/26/2011) [-]
awe, thank you, kind stranger :3

that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :D
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