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captainfuckitall    

Rank #834 on Comments
captainfuckitall Avatar Level 343 Comments: Sold Soul
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Date Signed Up:4/12/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#834
Highest Content Rank:#10530
Highest Comment Rank:#49
Content Thumbs: 40 total,  90 ,  50
Comment Thumbs: 44718 total,  55371 ,  10653
Content Level Progress: 76.27% (45/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 13.2% (132/1000)
Level 343 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 344 Comments: Sold Soul
Subscribers:20
Content Views:9655
Times Content Favorited:12 times
Total Comments Made:14243
FJ Points:15363

latest user's comments

#9 - When are they not? 06/18/2013 on Oh 4Chan... +8
#3 - Government Exams really have taken a lot out of people 06/18/2013 on this was a man -1
#12 - It becomes sexy when you realize that means there are at least… 06/17/2013 on How sexy +1
#427 - Male No 06/17/2013 on Would you? 0
#164 - Obviously, I forgot about this fact when I was debating with a… 06/17/2013 on Dat body 0
#163 - You seem to have some very homoerotic thoughts, anon. I don't … 06/17/2013 on Dat body -1
#86 - Oh I will, I cannot help but obey your orders. You are so wise… 06/17/2013 on Dat body -2
#83 - You're absolutely right. I'm taking them WAY too seriously. Pe… 06/17/2013 on Dat body -2
#81 - You just have so much advice and wisdom to give, I can't thank… 06/17/2013 on Dat body -2
#79 - What would be the point? I could never gain your level of wisd…  [+] (6 new replies) 06/17/2013 on Dat body -1
#84 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Welp, I have to go, keep on raging.
User avatar #86 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Oh I will, I cannot help but obey your orders. You are so wise and cool and smart, I would do anything just to be able to listen to you
#82 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Not taking internet arguments so seriously would probably help.
User avatar #83 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're absolutely right. I'm taking them WAY too seriously. Perhaps if I was more like you, I would simply bask in the knowledge I am actually right and simply not reply. But I am not like you, I could never be so wise and righteous as you
#80 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Maybe it would make you less whiny, couldn't hurt.
User avatar #81 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You just have so much advice and wisdom to give, I can't thank you enough for sparing it on little old me. Do you have anything else, anything at all that could even make me a fraction of the man you are (because everyone else is a weak boy compared to you)
#77 - How could I have missed my proper dosage? I'm so lucky I have …  [+] (8 new replies) 06/17/2013 on Dat body -1
#78 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Might want to step away from the computer and gain some perspective as well.
User avatar #79 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
What would be the point? I could never gain your level of wisdom and intelligence. But I will certainly try, only because you asked
#84 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Welp, I have to go, keep on raging.
User avatar #86 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Oh I will, I cannot help but obey your orders. You are so wise and cool and smart, I would do anything just to be able to listen to you
#82 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Not taking internet arguments so seriously would probably help.
User avatar #83 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're absolutely right. I'm taking them WAY too seriously. Perhaps if I was more like you, I would simply bask in the knowledge I am actually right and simply not reply. But I am not like you, I could never be so wise and righteous as you
#80 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Maybe it would make you less whiny, couldn't hurt.
User avatar #81 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You just have so much advice and wisdom to give, I can't thank you enough for sparing it on little old me. Do you have anything else, anything at all that could even make me a fraction of the man you are (because everyone else is a weak boy compared to you)
#74 - You're so right, you rustled me harder than anything has been …  [+] (10 new replies) 06/17/2013 on Dat body -1
#75 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
There still appears to be some analsore, might want to up your dosage.
User avatar #77 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
How could I have missed my proper dosage? I'm so lucky I have you here to tell me what to do and inform me of your ultimate truths, as a matter of fact, everyone is so lucky to have you. You should spread your wisdom to the four corners of the Earth, I mean, what could absolute laws of physics possibly have against your opinions? They hold no sway to someone such as yourself, which encompasses pure wisdom and knowledge without fail. I will up my dose as per your order
#78 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Might want to step away from the computer and gain some perspective as well.
User avatar #79 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
What would be the point? I could never gain your level of wisdom and intelligence. But I will certainly try, only because you asked
#84 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Welp, I have to go, keep on raging.
User avatar #86 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Oh I will, I cannot help but obey your orders. You are so wise and cool and smart, I would do anything just to be able to listen to you
#82 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Not taking internet arguments so seriously would probably help.
User avatar #83 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're absolutely right. I'm taking them WAY too seriously. Perhaps if I was more like you, I would simply bask in the knowledge I am actually right and simply not reply. But I am not like you, I could never be so wise and righteous as you
#80 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Maybe it would make you less whiny, couldn't hurt.
User avatar #81 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You just have so much advice and wisdom to give, I can't thank you enough for sparing it on little old me. Do you have anything else, anything at all that could even make me a fraction of the man you are (because everyone else is a weak boy compared to you)
#70 - You're right, I am so butthurt but your massive intellect and …  [+] (12 new replies) 06/17/2013 on Dat body -1
#72 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Didn't know I rustled you that bad, take a chill pill.
User avatar #74 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're so right, you rustled me harder than anything has been rustled in existence, but you couldn't possibly know as you don't concern yourself with petty, wrong mortals such as myself. Totally understandable. All chill pills have been taken as per your order, as you know better than anyone else ever could and your word on opinion is absolute law, unquestionable even by facts of science or nature. How dare they try to defy your opinions, amiright?
#75 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
There still appears to be some analsore, might want to up your dosage.
User avatar #77 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
How could I have missed my proper dosage? I'm so lucky I have you here to tell me what to do and inform me of your ultimate truths, as a matter of fact, everyone is so lucky to have you. You should spread your wisdom to the four corners of the Earth, I mean, what could absolute laws of physics possibly have against your opinions? They hold no sway to someone such as yourself, which encompasses pure wisdom and knowledge without fail. I will up my dose as per your order
#78 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Might want to step away from the computer and gain some perspective as well.
User avatar #79 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
What would be the point? I could never gain your level of wisdom and intelligence. But I will certainly try, only because you asked
#84 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Welp, I have to go, keep on raging.
User avatar #86 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Oh I will, I cannot help but obey your orders. You are so wise and cool and smart, I would do anything just to be able to listen to you
#82 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Not taking internet arguments so seriously would probably help.
User avatar #83 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're absolutely right. I'm taking them WAY too seriously. Perhaps if I was more like you, I would simply bask in the knowledge I am actually right and simply not reply. But I am not like you, I could never be so wise and righteous as you
#80 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Maybe it would make you less whiny, couldn't hurt.
User avatar #81 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You just have so much advice and wisdom to give, I can't thank you enough for sparing it on little old me. Do you have anything else, anything at all that could even make me a fraction of the man you are (because everyone else is a weak boy compared to you)
#68 - You know what? You're totally right, she is no better than the…  [+] (14 new replies) 06/17/2013 on Dat body -1
#69 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Sorry you got butthurt about being wrong.
User avatar #70 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're right, I am so butthurt but your massive intellect and wisdom being able to best me. You are a pure being of righteousness that I shouldn't have challenged. I am sorry for ever doubting your abilities of logic and rationality, as they are beyond mortal levels
#72 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Didn't know I rustled you that bad, take a chill pill.
User avatar #74 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're so right, you rustled me harder than anything has been rustled in existence, but you couldn't possibly know as you don't concern yourself with petty, wrong mortals such as myself. Totally understandable. All chill pills have been taken as per your order, as you know better than anyone else ever could and your word on opinion is absolute law, unquestionable even by facts of science or nature. How dare they try to defy your opinions, amiright?
#75 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
There still appears to be some analsore, might want to up your dosage.
User avatar #77 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
How could I have missed my proper dosage? I'm so lucky I have you here to tell me what to do and inform me of your ultimate truths, as a matter of fact, everyone is so lucky to have you. You should spread your wisdom to the four corners of the Earth, I mean, what could absolute laws of physics possibly have against your opinions? They hold no sway to someone such as yourself, which encompasses pure wisdom and knowledge without fail. I will up my dose as per your order
#78 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Might want to step away from the computer and gain some perspective as well.
User avatar #79 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
What would be the point? I could never gain your level of wisdom and intelligence. But I will certainly try, only because you asked
#84 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Welp, I have to go, keep on raging.
User avatar #86 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Oh I will, I cannot help but obey your orders. You are so wise and cool and smart, I would do anything just to be able to listen to you
#82 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Not taking internet arguments so seriously would probably help.
User avatar #83 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're absolutely right. I'm taking them WAY too seriously. Perhaps if I was more like you, I would simply bask in the knowledge I am actually right and simply not reply. But I am not like you, I could never be so wise and righteous as you
#80 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Maybe it would make you less whiny, couldn't hurt.
User avatar #81 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You just have so much advice and wisdom to give, I can't thank you enough for sparing it on little old me. Do you have anything else, anything at all that could even make me a fraction of the man you are (because everyone else is a weak boy compared to you)
#61 - Not really. If she was insanely buff, it would be a bit gross,…  [+] (1 new reply) 06/17/2013 on Dat body 0
User avatar #123 - sanguinesolitude (06/17/2013) [-]
i agree. a girl with tight abs is definitely a turnon. generally not quite to that extent, but i find her attractive for sure.
#60 - No I wouldn't. His adrenaline wouldn't be as strong due to the…  [+] (16 new replies) 06/17/2013 on Dat body -1
#64 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Wouldn't be as strong, it doesn't need to be seeing as who he is attacking is probably 100 pounds lighter than himself.

No, the average man is much stronger than the average woman and still stronger than a relatively fit woman, it's the same reason we don't have unisex sporting events.

And to get to the point where muscles are that clearly defined, you HAVE to have low body fat, which you have to eat less and exercise more to achieve.

No, you said "She's also more than able to protect herself" not she can do it better than a non-fit person.
User avatar #68 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You know what? You're totally right, she is no better than the average man and cannot hope to defeat him as they are balanced out in every way. Her muscles and tone and discipline mean absolutely nothing. You are a god of wisdom, and gods damn you are annoying and I'm tired of you already
#69 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Sorry you got butthurt about being wrong.
User avatar #70 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're right, I am so butthurt but your massive intellect and wisdom being able to best me. You are a pure being of righteousness that I shouldn't have challenged. I am sorry for ever doubting your abilities of logic and rationality, as they are beyond mortal levels
#72 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Didn't know I rustled you that bad, take a chill pill.
User avatar #74 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're so right, you rustled me harder than anything has been rustled in existence, but you couldn't possibly know as you don't concern yourself with petty, wrong mortals such as myself. Totally understandable. All chill pills have been taken as per your order, as you know better than anyone else ever could and your word on opinion is absolute law, unquestionable even by facts of science or nature. How dare they try to defy your opinions, amiright?
#75 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
There still appears to be some analsore, might want to up your dosage.
User avatar #77 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
How could I have missed my proper dosage? I'm so lucky I have you here to tell me what to do and inform me of your ultimate truths, as a matter of fact, everyone is so lucky to have you. You should spread your wisdom to the four corners of the Earth, I mean, what could absolute laws of physics possibly have against your opinions? They hold no sway to someone such as yourself, which encompasses pure wisdom and knowledge without fail. I will up my dose as per your order
#78 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Might want to step away from the computer and gain some perspective as well.
User avatar #79 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
What would be the point? I could never gain your level of wisdom and intelligence. But I will certainly try, only because you asked
#84 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Welp, I have to go, keep on raging.
User avatar #86 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Oh I will, I cannot help but obey your orders. You are so wise and cool and smart, I would do anything just to be able to listen to you
#82 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Not taking internet arguments so seriously would probably help.
User avatar #83 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're absolutely right. I'm taking them WAY too seriously. Perhaps if I was more like you, I would simply bask in the knowledge I am actually right and simply not reply. But I am not like you, I could never be so wise and righteous as you
#80 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Maybe it would make you less whiny, couldn't hurt.
User avatar #81 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You just have so much advice and wisdom to give, I can't thank you enough for sparing it on little old me. Do you have anything else, anything at all that could even make me a fraction of the man you are (because everyone else is a weak boy compared to you)
#54 - What extent?  [+] (3 new replies) 06/17/2013 on Dat body 0
User avatar #57 - yourmum (06/17/2013) [-]
Don't you think her muscles look a bit... unnatural?
The same goes with the man, too.
User avatar #61 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Not really. If she was insanely buff, it would be a bit gross, but in no way to I think her being lean and toned is disgusting or unnatural; in fact I find it very attractive for more reasons than just pure 'beauty'. But to each his own and you are absolutely entitled to your own opinions
User avatar #123 - sanguinesolitude (06/17/2013) [-]
i agree. a girl with tight abs is definitely a turnon. generally not quite to that extent, but i find her attractive for sure.
#49 - It's also not even a full picture, nor is it taken at an angle…  [+] (18 new replies) 06/17/2013 on Dat body -1
#53 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
You have to consider the attacker's adrenaline as well, so the playing field is still the same. I'm not saying she's fighting a super villian, but an average man could still easily subdue a relatively fit woman, so no it's not something she could do without some sort of training/shitloads of luck.

You're acting like she's arnold schwarzenegger, she's not, she's toned, not buff, there's a difference, to get that low body fat you have to eat less, period.

She has a slightly better chance than the average woman, that still doesn't mean she's able to defend herself adequately. I'm not saying she couldn't take a fat/regular woman, i'm saying she couldn't 100% defend herself against the average attacker (which statistically would be male) like you implied in the beginning.
User avatar #60 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
No I wouldn't. His adrenaline wouldn't be as strong due to the fact his body wouldn't be able to handle as much stress. I still greatly disagree with you, I suppose this is something that just won't be solved until we see a fight happen

No I'm not, I'm just stating things as they are. She IS stronger than the average man and woman and IS tougher and IS more discipline (which is a requirement to getting fit, as you have to give up a lot of bad things for your body. This is especially tough for most women). No, not period. Do you understand how your body even works? When you eat, you gain calories (as well as fats and saturated fats, although neither of those MUST go into the body and can, in fact, be filtered out through proper digestion and other health supplements). These calories convert into energy, which can then be converted into fat or muscle depending upon how you use it. Muscle if you exercise, fat if you don't. You GAIN muscle by exercising and having more energy which you get by eating MORE, however, you can also LOSE fat by eating LESS because you have less calories in your body in general. You see?

I never said she could absolutely do it, I said she could do it BETTER than the average non-fit man or woman
#64 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Wouldn't be as strong, it doesn't need to be seeing as who he is attacking is probably 100 pounds lighter than himself.

No, the average man is much stronger than the average woman and still stronger than a relatively fit woman, it's the same reason we don't have unisex sporting events.

And to get to the point where muscles are that clearly defined, you HAVE to have low body fat, which you have to eat less and exercise more to achieve.

No, you said "She's also more than able to protect herself" not she can do it better than a non-fit person.
User avatar #68 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You know what? You're totally right, she is no better than the average man and cannot hope to defeat him as they are balanced out in every way. Her muscles and tone and discipline mean absolutely nothing. You are a god of wisdom, and gods damn you are annoying and I'm tired of you already
#69 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Sorry you got butthurt about being wrong.
User avatar #70 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're right, I am so butthurt but your massive intellect and wisdom being able to best me. You are a pure being of righteousness that I shouldn't have challenged. I am sorry for ever doubting your abilities of logic and rationality, as they are beyond mortal levels
#72 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Didn't know I rustled you that bad, take a chill pill.
User avatar #74 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're so right, you rustled me harder than anything has been rustled in existence, but you couldn't possibly know as you don't concern yourself with petty, wrong mortals such as myself. Totally understandable. All chill pills have been taken as per your order, as you know better than anyone else ever could and your word on opinion is absolute law, unquestionable even by facts of science or nature. How dare they try to defy your opinions, amiright?
#75 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
There still appears to be some analsore, might want to up your dosage.
User avatar #77 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
How could I have missed my proper dosage? I'm so lucky I have you here to tell me what to do and inform me of your ultimate truths, as a matter of fact, everyone is so lucky to have you. You should spread your wisdom to the four corners of the Earth, I mean, what could absolute laws of physics possibly have against your opinions? They hold no sway to someone such as yourself, which encompasses pure wisdom and knowledge without fail. I will up my dose as per your order
#78 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Might want to step away from the computer and gain some perspective as well.
User avatar #79 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
What would be the point? I could never gain your level of wisdom and intelligence. But I will certainly try, only because you asked
#84 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Welp, I have to go, keep on raging.
User avatar #86 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Oh I will, I cannot help but obey your orders. You are so wise and cool and smart, I would do anything just to be able to listen to you
#82 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Not taking internet arguments so seriously would probably help.
User avatar #83 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're absolutely right. I'm taking them WAY too seriously. Perhaps if I was more like you, I would simply bask in the knowledge I am actually right and simply not reply. But I am not like you, I could never be so wise and righteous as you
#80 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Maybe it would make you less whiny, couldn't hurt.
User avatar #81 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You just have so much advice and wisdom to give, I can't thank you enough for sparing it on little old me. Do you have anything else, anything at all that could even make me a fraction of the man you are (because everyone else is a weak boy compared to you)
#44 - >Implying you're not supposed to enjoy that I pity…  [+] (3 new replies) 06/17/2013 on Dat body -1
#155 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
You need to stop pretending like you're talking about the girl in this picture, when we all know you're drooling over the thought of the guy plowing your ass.
User avatar #163 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You seem to have some very homoerotic thoughts, anon. I don't think you should be calling me gay when you're the one writing detailed gay sex
#113 - melwach (06/17/2013) [-]
Indeed. A pleasurable opportunity is wasted.
#42 - And you can say that because you're an expert in guessing weig…  [+] (23 new replies) 06/17/2013 on Dat body 0
#121 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
But she's a woman and men are the superior gender so the man would win.
User avatar #164 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Obviously, I forgot about this fact when I was debating with all-knowing anon
#45 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
I'm inferring based on the weight of the average woman, which she's clearly smaller than, and yes, some 300 pound fattymcneckbeard could easily just fucking sit on her and she wouldn't be able to do a damn thing, womens olypic fucking weightlifters lift barely above 150 pounds let alone 300.

Except she's toned, she's not jacked like some wildabeast from russia, you don't get definition like that without restricting calories. So again, she spent time in the gym and ate less.

I'm not saying all attackers do, i'm saying she doesn't automatically know how to defend herself just because she spends time at the gym.
User avatar #49 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
It's also not even a full picture, nor is it taken at an angle supposed to show off her height or weight, just her abdominal muscles. It's well known that, on average, women can not lift as much as men, but this doesn't mean that they cannot lift a lot. You also have to deal with adrenaline or pure force of will here, which would also make her a lot tougher and stronger. Besides, we're talking about this as if she were fighting a super-villain, she's not, she's beating up a rapist or a mugger, both of which she could do with ease

*Ate better, not less. You don't get muscle by eating less as you gain less calories, have less energy, and your body cannot sort through functions as well.

But she has a better chance to be able to, which was simply my point. Besides, the way you're speaking, you were saying she has no advantage over, say, a regular or fat woman, which is clearly not true
#53 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
You have to consider the attacker's adrenaline as well, so the playing field is still the same. I'm not saying she's fighting a super villian, but an average man could still easily subdue a relatively fit woman, so no it's not something she could do without some sort of training/shitloads of luck.

You're acting like she's arnold schwarzenegger, she's not, she's toned, not buff, there's a difference, to get that low body fat you have to eat less, period.

She has a slightly better chance than the average woman, that still doesn't mean she's able to defend herself adequately. I'm not saying she couldn't take a fat/regular woman, i'm saying she couldn't 100% defend herself against the average attacker (which statistically would be male) like you implied in the beginning.
User avatar #60 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
No I wouldn't. His adrenaline wouldn't be as strong due to the fact his body wouldn't be able to handle as much stress. I still greatly disagree with you, I suppose this is something that just won't be solved until we see a fight happen

No I'm not, I'm just stating things as they are. She IS stronger than the average man and woman and IS tougher and IS more discipline (which is a requirement to getting fit, as you have to give up a lot of bad things for your body. This is especially tough for most women). No, not period. Do you understand how your body even works? When you eat, you gain calories (as well as fats and saturated fats, although neither of those MUST go into the body and can, in fact, be filtered out through proper digestion and other health supplements). These calories convert into energy, which can then be converted into fat or muscle depending upon how you use it. Muscle if you exercise, fat if you don't. You GAIN muscle by exercising and having more energy which you get by eating MORE, however, you can also LOSE fat by eating LESS because you have less calories in your body in general. You see?

I never said she could absolutely do it, I said she could do it BETTER than the average non-fit man or woman
#64 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Wouldn't be as strong, it doesn't need to be seeing as who he is attacking is probably 100 pounds lighter than himself.

No, the average man is much stronger than the average woman and still stronger than a relatively fit woman, it's the same reason we don't have unisex sporting events.

And to get to the point where muscles are that clearly defined, you HAVE to have low body fat, which you have to eat less and exercise more to achieve.

No, you said "She's also more than able to protect herself" not she can do it better than a non-fit person.
User avatar #68 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You know what? You're totally right, she is no better than the average man and cannot hope to defeat him as they are balanced out in every way. Her muscles and tone and discipline mean absolutely nothing. You are a god of wisdom, and gods damn you are annoying and I'm tired of you already
#69 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Sorry you got butthurt about being wrong.
User avatar #70 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're right, I am so butthurt but your massive intellect and wisdom being able to best me. You are a pure being of righteousness that I shouldn't have challenged. I am sorry for ever doubting your abilities of logic and rationality, as they are beyond mortal levels
#72 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Didn't know I rustled you that bad, take a chill pill.
User avatar #74 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're so right, you rustled me harder than anything has been rustled in existence, but you couldn't possibly know as you don't concern yourself with petty, wrong mortals such as myself. Totally understandable. All chill pills have been taken as per your order, as you know better than anyone else ever could and your word on opinion is absolute law, unquestionable even by facts of science or nature. How dare they try to defy your opinions, amiright?
#75 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
There still appears to be some analsore, might want to up your dosage.
User avatar #77 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
How could I have missed my proper dosage? I'm so lucky I have you here to tell me what to do and inform me of your ultimate truths, as a matter of fact, everyone is so lucky to have you. You should spread your wisdom to the four corners of the Earth, I mean, what could absolute laws of physics possibly have against your opinions? They hold no sway to someone such as yourself, which encompasses pure wisdom and knowledge without fail. I will up my dose as per your order
#78 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Might want to step away from the computer and gain some perspective as well.
User avatar #79 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
What would be the point? I could never gain your level of wisdom and intelligence. But I will certainly try, only because you asked
#84 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Welp, I have to go, keep on raging.
User avatar #86 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Oh I will, I cannot help but obey your orders. You are so wise and cool and smart, I would do anything just to be able to listen to you
#82 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Not taking internet arguments so seriously would probably help.
User avatar #83 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're absolutely right. I'm taking them WAY too seriously. Perhaps if I was more like you, I would simply bask in the knowledge I am actually right and simply not reply. But I am not like you, I could never be so wise and righteous as you
#80 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Maybe it would make you less whiny, couldn't hurt.
User avatar #81 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You just have so much advice and wisdom to give, I can't thank you enough for sparing it on little old me. Do you have anything else, anything at all that could even make me a fraction of the man you are (because everyone else is a weak boy compared to you)
#46 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
olympic*
#23 - Ya, that's true. I would thumb you up for correcting me, but t… 06/17/2013 on Science of the week #24 0
#21 - Why would you try to patent genes anyways? The way I see it, y…  [+] (6 new replies) 06/17/2013 on Science of the week #24 0
User avatar #37 - desmondaltairezio (06/17/2013) [-]
exactly
that is what the supreme court ruled...
User avatar #41 - desmondaltairezio (06/17/2013) [-]
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUpgfARGmXs
and you should also watch this captainfuckitall
User avatar #22 - leglesslegolegolas (06/17/2013) [-]
You never know. People have tried to patent all sorts of stupid shit before. Even basic shapes.
User avatar #27 - ichbinzweijahrealt (06/17/2013) [-]
Patenting basic shapes isn't stupid at all. Imagine if someone would have patented a 16:9 ratio rectangle. Fucking rich
User avatar #28 - leglesslegolegolas (06/17/2013) [-]
You drew a circle! Give me $200 in royalties!
User avatar #23 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Ya, that's true. I would thumb you up for correcting me, but the function is malfunctioning for some reason...
#38 - It does mean you're strong, which means, in fact, you're able …  [+] (31 new replies) 06/17/2013 on Dat body -1
#39 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Uhh, she's still barely 100 pounds, an average guy would still be able to easily subdue her.
And what? You don't get toned by lifting and eating less? What world are you on?

I'm not saying that being toned like that is wrong, i'm just saying it doesn't mean you know what the fuck you're doing if you get attacked.
#89 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
>barely 100 pounds
>using words like toned

You do not lift.
#56 - carioca (06/17/2013) [-]
>You don't get toned by lifting and eating less?
>lifting
>eating less

plz stap
#58 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
I meant going to the gym.
#62 - carioca (06/17/2013) [-]
In my personal experience (i'm not a super titan filled with hard meat) I find it better to lift and eat more.
#65 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Not if you're trying to get toned.
#67 - carioca (06/17/2013) [-]
If i eat less i'm gonna become a walking skeleton. Taylor Lautner had to eat a lot to get in his current shape. Well, he had an asian nutritionist too, but that's not the point I guess.
I like his body and would lick every inch of it
no homo
User avatar #42 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
And you can say that because you're an expert in guessing weight simply by looking at body structure. You're aware that muscle weighs WAY more than fat, right? Just as well, I would like to see some average fattyMcNeckbeard try to bring her down, as she would have more muscle, more discipline, more energy, and probably an even stronger need to prove herself

No you don't. You lose WEIGHT by doing exercise (depending upon the exercise. /fit/ could explain it all to you, as different exercises do different things. Some make you leaner, some increase muscle density, and some increase the size of your muscles) and not eating. If you want to GAIN weight (again, muscle weighs way more than fat and also takes more calories to maintain), you will have to eat big and do the right type of exercises constantly. I'm on the world where this is true, where the hell are you?

>Implying most attackers know what they're doing either
When you're muscled, you're stronger, have more energy, and can take more punishment. Nearly that in itself will be a massive advantage in any fight even if they have a weapon. Just as well, from the dedication and concentration you have, you could probably beat them in a battle of wills as well, and any expert fighter in the world will tell you that that same battle of wills really is half the fight
#121 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
But she's a woman and men are the superior gender so the man would win.
User avatar #164 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Obviously, I forgot about this fact when I was debating with all-knowing anon
#45 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
I'm inferring based on the weight of the average woman, which she's clearly smaller than, and yes, some 300 pound fattymcneckbeard could easily just fucking sit on her and she wouldn't be able to do a damn thing, womens olypic fucking weightlifters lift barely above 150 pounds let alone 300.

Except she's toned, she's not jacked like some wildabeast from russia, you don't get definition like that without restricting calories. So again, she spent time in the gym and ate less.

I'm not saying all attackers do, i'm saying she doesn't automatically know how to defend herself just because she spends time at the gym.
User avatar #49 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
It's also not even a full picture, nor is it taken at an angle supposed to show off her height or weight, just her abdominal muscles. It's well known that, on average, women can not lift as much as men, but this doesn't mean that they cannot lift a lot. You also have to deal with adrenaline or pure force of will here, which would also make her a lot tougher and stronger. Besides, we're talking about this as if she were fighting a super-villain, she's not, she's beating up a rapist or a mugger, both of which she could do with ease

*Ate better, not less. You don't get muscle by eating less as you gain less calories, have less energy, and your body cannot sort through functions as well.

But she has a better chance to be able to, which was simply my point. Besides, the way you're speaking, you were saying she has no advantage over, say, a regular or fat woman, which is clearly not true
#53 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
You have to consider the attacker's adrenaline as well, so the playing field is still the same. I'm not saying she's fighting a super villian, but an average man could still easily subdue a relatively fit woman, so no it's not something she could do without some sort of training/shitloads of luck.

You're acting like she's arnold schwarzenegger, she's not, she's toned, not buff, there's a difference, to get that low body fat you have to eat less, period.

She has a slightly better chance than the average woman, that still doesn't mean she's able to defend herself adequately. I'm not saying she couldn't take a fat/regular woman, i'm saying she couldn't 100% defend herself against the average attacker (which statistically would be male) like you implied in the beginning.
User avatar #60 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
No I wouldn't. His adrenaline wouldn't be as strong due to the fact his body wouldn't be able to handle as much stress. I still greatly disagree with you, I suppose this is something that just won't be solved until we see a fight happen

No I'm not, I'm just stating things as they are. She IS stronger than the average man and woman and IS tougher and IS more discipline (which is a requirement to getting fit, as you have to give up a lot of bad things for your body. This is especially tough for most women). No, not period. Do you understand how your body even works? When you eat, you gain calories (as well as fats and saturated fats, although neither of those MUST go into the body and can, in fact, be filtered out through proper digestion and other health supplements). These calories convert into energy, which can then be converted into fat or muscle depending upon how you use it. Muscle if you exercise, fat if you don't. You GAIN muscle by exercising and having more energy which you get by eating MORE, however, you can also LOSE fat by eating LESS because you have less calories in your body in general. You see?

I never said she could absolutely do it, I said she could do it BETTER than the average non-fit man or woman
#64 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Wouldn't be as strong, it doesn't need to be seeing as who he is attacking is probably 100 pounds lighter than himself.

No, the average man is much stronger than the average woman and still stronger than a relatively fit woman, it's the same reason we don't have unisex sporting events.

And to get to the point where muscles are that clearly defined, you HAVE to have low body fat, which you have to eat less and exercise more to achieve.

No, you said "She's also more than able to protect herself" not she can do it better than a non-fit person.
User avatar #68 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You know what? You're totally right, she is no better than the average man and cannot hope to defeat him as they are balanced out in every way. Her muscles and tone and discipline mean absolutely nothing. You are a god of wisdom, and gods damn you are annoying and I'm tired of you already
#69 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Sorry you got butthurt about being wrong.
User avatar #70 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're right, I am so butthurt but your massive intellect and wisdom being able to best me. You are a pure being of righteousness that I shouldn't have challenged. I am sorry for ever doubting your abilities of logic and rationality, as they are beyond mortal levels
#72 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Didn't know I rustled you that bad, take a chill pill.
User avatar #74 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're so right, you rustled me harder than anything has been rustled in existence, but you couldn't possibly know as you don't concern yourself with petty, wrong mortals such as myself. Totally understandable. All chill pills have been taken as per your order, as you know better than anyone else ever could and your word on opinion is absolute law, unquestionable even by facts of science or nature. How dare they try to defy your opinions, amiright?
#75 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
There still appears to be some analsore, might want to up your dosage.
User avatar #77 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
How could I have missed my proper dosage? I'm so lucky I have you here to tell me what to do and inform me of your ultimate truths, as a matter of fact, everyone is so lucky to have you. You should spread your wisdom to the four corners of the Earth, I mean, what could absolute laws of physics possibly have against your opinions? They hold no sway to someone such as yourself, which encompasses pure wisdom and knowledge without fail. I will up my dose as per your order
#78 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Might want to step away from the computer and gain some perspective as well.
User avatar #79 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
What would be the point? I could never gain your level of wisdom and intelligence. But I will certainly try, only because you asked
#84 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Welp, I have to go, keep on raging.
User avatar #86 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Oh I will, I cannot help but obey your orders. You are so wise and cool and smart, I would do anything just to be able to listen to you
#82 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Not taking internet arguments so seriously would probably help.
User avatar #83 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're absolutely right. I'm taking them WAY too seriously. Perhaps if I was more like you, I would simply bask in the knowledge I am actually right and simply not reply. But I am not like you, I could never be so wise and righteous as you
#80 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Maybe it would make you less whiny, couldn't hurt.
User avatar #81 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You just have so much advice and wisdom to give, I can't thank you enough for sparing it on little old me. Do you have anything else, anything at all that could even make me a fraction of the man you are (because everyone else is a weak boy compared to you)
#46 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
olympic*
#18 - Yes, yes, because the U.S. Supreme Court has authority over hu…  [+] (8 new replies) 06/17/2013 on Science of the week #24 -5
User avatar #20 - leglesslegolegolas (06/17/2013) [-]
They have authority over the patent office.
User avatar #21 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Why would you try to patent genes anyways? The way I see it, you shouldn't be allowed to patent anything that belongs in a human body, as that expressly belongs to the human who has it
User avatar #37 - desmondaltairezio (06/17/2013) [-]
exactly
that is what the supreme court ruled...
User avatar #41 - desmondaltairezio (06/17/2013) [-]
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUpgfARGmXs
and you should also watch this captainfuckitall
User avatar #22 - leglesslegolegolas (06/17/2013) [-]
You never know. People have tried to patent all sorts of stupid shit before. Even basic shapes.
User avatar #27 - ichbinzweijahrealt (06/17/2013) [-]
Patenting basic shapes isn't stupid at all. Imagine if someone would have patented a 16:9 ratio rectangle. Fucking rich
User avatar #28 - leglesslegolegolas (06/17/2013) [-]
You drew a circle! Give me $200 in royalties!
User avatar #23 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Ya, that's true. I would thumb you up for correcting me, but the function is malfunctioning for some reason...
#41 - This will be the greatest episode of "Cops" ever 06/17/2013 on Toys R Us +50

Comments(481):

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User avatar #489 - myfourthaccount ONLINE (07/18/2014) [-]
dude, you're like my most favorite person on earth right now haha
User avatar #487 - imvlad (05/04/2014) [-]
you brought shame to your house
User avatar #483 - aerosol ONLINE (04/22/2014) [-]
Have you by chance had an older account here before?
User avatar #484 to #483 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was deleted for some reason I never found, so I just made another.
#485 to #484 - aerosol ONLINE (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 to #485 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no fucking mates, Dave".
User avatar #481 - iforgotmyothername (03/20/2014) [-]
you are one cool tempered potato compared to me, bringing my fury upon your wrongness. i salute you, and thumbed up all your comments in the a capella debate.
User avatar #482 to #481 - captainfuckitall (03/20/2014) [-]
It's alright, I apologize for making you upset, but you don't need to thumb my posts up. Thumbs are a way to express positivity or negativity toward any type of comments; if you do not like them, it is perfectly within your right to thumb them down.
User avatar #474 - aherorising (11/20/2013) [-]
you're a really cool bro
#471 - shiifter (10/06/2013) [-]
This still makes me giggle.

Oh and by the way, i never actually thumbed you down. I just said that i did.
User avatar #472 to #471 - captainfuckitall (10/06/2013) [-]
The thing is, the way I found OUT you gave me those thumbs was because of the question mark, which allows people to see who voted on content. I could only KNOW it was you if you had thumbed them down, which you did.

And now you not only prove to be an idiot, but a liar as well.
#473 to #472 - shiifter (10/12/2013) [-]
Wait? You still remembered that? That's hilarious.

By the way, i screencapped this. it's like a trophy.
User avatar #468 - satrenkotheone ONLINE (09/22/2013) [-]
I would just like to say thank you.
#466 - anonymous (08/25/2013) [-]
Due to your pointlessly rude comment on the post "Jesus ain't got time for shit",

I have gone through 20 of your previous comments and thumbed them all down.

You're also a stupid, unfunny, tryhard feelfag. Exactly the kind of user that this site is infamous for.
User avatar #467 to #466 - captainfuckitall (08/25/2013) [-]
I wasn't pointlessly rude. If you read it more carefully, you would find I am not insulting your god or faith, but rather, the people who spread it about; and even they are just doing it to themselves, while I am mearly making an observation

It's ironic you call me tryhard, considering you just went through the time to thumb-down my last 20 comments as if it would have any effect on me personally or my ranking here. It's also odd you call me stupid, considering you were the one who read it uncorrectly. And I think the fact I have so many comment thumbs anyways (including my own jesus comment) speaks to the point that I am, in fact, quite hilarious. "Feelfag", is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone who is passionate about certain things? If so, then I take pride in it, as it is only through passion that things grow.

Considering you are pretentious, arrogant, immature, and without a sense of humour; you fit the criteria for '12 year old funnyjunker' far better than I do.
#463 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.   
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.   
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.   
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
User avatar #464 to #463 - captainfuckitall (07/16/2013) [-]
You are just a wonderful person, you know that? Thank you very much for your kind words and appreciation, and I'm glad you have made an account and made many friends here, including myself
#465 to #464 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
You're welcome, good sir.
You're welcome, good sir.
User avatar #461 - potgardener (06/01/2013) [-]
youre pretty fucked in the head if beating a kid is a good idea, parents would need to hit their kids if they taught them what was right and wrong from the beginning
User avatar #462 to #461 - captainfuckitall (06/01/2013) [-]
It's ironic how you talk about avoiding situations, when your very comment isn't needed considering I already explained, about five times now, that I do not mean you must 'abuse' your children in order to get good results. My comment, and all the comments afterwards, were about how when compassion and support fails you must turn to punishment and discipline, including simply smacking your kid upside the head

Perhaps you should read more and get better informed before jumping to opinions, yes?
#459 - bossdelainternet (05/11/2013) [-]
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest  threads i've seen this year.   
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...   
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest threads i've seen this year.
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
User avatar #460 to #459 - captainfuckitall (05/11/2013) [-]
I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult

I choose the former

Thank you, good sir
#453 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
I just thought I'd let you know that I just did an awful thing and quoted your majestic deep words of death wisdom onto my facebook. I gave you credit, but as part of my shame for stealing I thought I'd tell you. That was honestly one of the best things I've ever read.

Which is also why I screencapped it. Don't worry I swear I'm not going to try to get to frontpage with it I just wanted to save it.
User avatar #454 to #453 - captainfuckitall (11/12/2012) [-]
Not at all, I am not concerned with thumbs in the least. If you would like to post it, by all means do so, if you'd like to take credit, do so as well; I care not for material value or fame, as long as comprehend and understand the message
#455 to #454 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
Oh man you just keep getting better:)    
   
But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
Oh man you just keep getting better:)

But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
#449 - captainspankmonkey (02/27/2012) [-]
Internet problems
That is why :P
User avatar #450 to #460 - captainfuckitall (02/27/2012) [-]
ahhh, haha, sorry then :P
#447 - anonymous (09/26/2011) [-]
you're a lovely person
User avatar #448 to #458 - captainfuckitall (09/26/2011) [-]
awe, thank you, kind stranger :3

that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :D
#444 - captainspankmonkey (08/22/2011) [-]
Im becoming level 28 soon
User avatar #445 to #454 - captainfuckitall (08/22/2011) [-]
sooooooooooooooooon............
User avatar #446 to #455 - captainspankmonkey (08/22/2011) [-]
very soooooooooooooooooooooon......
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