Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu

captainfuckitall    

Rank #826 on Comments
captainfuckitall Avatar Level 343 Comments: Sold Soul
Offline
Send mail to captainfuckitall Block captainfuckitall Invite captainfuckitall to be your friend flag avatar
Last status update:
-
Personal Info
Date Signed Up:4/12/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#826
Highest Content Rank:#10530
Highest Comment Rank:#49
Content Thumbs: 40 total,  90 ,  50
Comment Thumbs: 44718 total,  55350 ,  10632
Content Level Progress: 76.27% (45/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 12.8% (128/1000)
Level 343 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 344 Comments: Sold Soul
Subscribers:20
Content Views:9655
Times Content Favorited:12 times
Total Comments Made:14232
FJ Points:15359

latest user's comments

#15 - I like how you're insulting religious people's intelligence wh… 06/19/2013 on Have you seen one of these... 0
#13 - If she actually loves him, she can tell him what he's doing wr…  [+] (3 new replies) 06/19/2013 on let this be a lesson ladies +38
User avatar #14 - briggsil (06/19/2013) [-]
I guess it could be a little off putting to the guy, to be told he's crap at what he's doing. But the only way to learn this stuff is by being told/shown and lot's of practice...
User avatar #16 - captainfuckitall (06/19/2013) [-]
Just so. And which would you rather have, think you're good at something and have everyone laugh at you behind your back because they don't want to hurt your feelings, or tell you what you're doing is awful so you can feel bad and then improve?
User avatar #17 - briggsil (06/19/2013) [-]
I'd rather be told and get the fucking right... Truth hurts...
#78 - Always 06/19/2013 on How to get over your fear... 0
#145 - LOL 06/19/2013 on The Difference 0
#8 - *His origins As defined by the Church. You do know Satan, …  [+] (2 new replies) 06/19/2013 on Damming Review 0
User avatar #27 - usbfridge (06/21/2013) [-]
Yes, but all of the abrahamic faiths all portray him as such. Regardless of your religion (which probably is atheistic, since you're being so adamant that Satan himself doesn't care about his eternal freaking struggle), we're discussing this in the context of their religion. And this is a church, where the priests are essentially connected to god. There's a difference between him disliking someone who likes "a version of someone they have heard of through propaganda tales" and disliking someone who's connected to god (and pretty much leads the religious to him).
User avatar #28 - captainfuckitall (06/21/2013) [-]
I'm actually a Theistic Satanist, I believe that Satan is really the good guy in this whole mess and is the true saviour of humanity. I still retain my views that he probably doesn't care.

Again, though; we're talking about near all-powerful beings, who have existed far longer than humanity, and have powers beyond imagination. Do you honestly think such beings would care what you worship? ESPECIALLY considering most abrahamic faiths diverge and branch off into different types of sects worshipping in different ways. It all really just strikes me as petty and trivial, and those are things that such awesome beings wouldn't be so quick to take part in
#6 - You know, this may just be me...but if Satan actually exists, …  [+] (4 new replies) 06/18/2013 on Damming Review +2
User avatar #7 - usbfridge (06/19/2013) [-]
Think about his origins. Now think about who he is. Now think about why he would dislike god.
User avatar #8 - captainfuckitall (06/19/2013) [-]
*His origins
As defined by the Church. You do know Satan, the figure, existed far before the christian church got to him, right? In nearly all of his incarnations prior to "One god all powerful" monotheism (islam, judaism, chirsitanity, ect.) he was portrayed as simply another god doing his job, neither good nor evil

Even if the christian version is true, as much as he would resent god, I highly doubt he would care if people worshipped him any more than you care if people *like* someone you don't like (in this case, like meaning enjoy one version of someone they have never met or seen or heard of beyond propaganda tales)
User avatar #27 - usbfridge (06/21/2013) [-]
Yes, but all of the abrahamic faiths all portray him as such. Regardless of your religion (which probably is atheistic, since you're being so adamant that Satan himself doesn't care about his eternal freaking struggle), we're discussing this in the context of their religion. And this is a church, where the priests are essentially connected to god. There's a difference between him disliking someone who likes "a version of someone they have heard of through propaganda tales" and disliking someone who's connected to god (and pretty much leads the religious to him).
User avatar #28 - captainfuckitall (06/21/2013) [-]
I'm actually a Theistic Satanist, I believe that Satan is really the good guy in this whole mess and is the true saviour of humanity. I still retain my views that he probably doesn't care.

Again, though; we're talking about near all-powerful beings, who have existed far longer than humanity, and have powers beyond imagination. Do you honestly think such beings would care what you worship? ESPECIALLY considering most abrahamic faiths diverge and branch off into different types of sects worshipping in different ways. It all really just strikes me as petty and trivial, and those are things that such awesome beings wouldn't be so quick to take part in
#10 - This made me giggle harder than it should have 06/18/2013 on Its a bit rapey in here +1
#22 - And then you finish, proud of your accomplishment of scaring a…  [+] (4 new replies) 06/18/2013 on How to get over your fear... +3
#76 - anonymous (06/19/2013) [-]
Sounds like some twisted creepypasta.

> strange disturbances when i try to sleep, odd
> go to witch doctor, says i must use an exotic remedy
> first night, grab spirit lotion and sacred tissues, gets to work
> feels great, first night finished
> continue for a few more nights
> looks like it worked, job finished
> nights pass, just casual fapping whenever
> a few weeks later, a shadowy figure appears in my sleep
#77 - anonymous (06/19/2013) [-]
> "Why did you stop anon? You shouldn't have done that."
> pedogeist threatens perpetual torment of my soul...unless
> I find myself forced to fap every night, midnight till sunrise
> every time, i'm on my bed, shaking furiously with a trembling fear
> i stare up into the black ceiling, the white eyes in the darkness piercing my soul
> ???
User avatar #46 - accomplishment (06/19/2013) [-]
Y-you're... proud of me?
User avatar #78 - captainfuckitall (06/19/2013) [-]
Always
#12 - "Ding Dong Ditch level: Darwin Awards" 06/18/2013 on why have i tried this? +19
#33 - >Implying you wouldn't date Hitler if you had the chance  [+] (1 new reply) 06/18/2013 on Descriptions +3
#41 - kakkakrabbypatty (06/18/2013) [-]
#17 - A true King is not he who is served by a million But …  [+] (4 new replies) 06/18/2013 on The Difference +33
#142 - anonymous (06/19/2013) [-]
So Mcdonalds employees are kings? LOL
User avatar #145 - captainfuckitall (06/19/2013) [-]
LOL
#104 - anonymous (06/19/2013) [-]
All hail prostitutes.
#45 - srapture (06/18/2013) [-]
And he has to have a nice, shiny crown.
#72 - I know, it was a joke. Comparable to how some PC gamers think …  [+] (1 new reply) 06/18/2013 on Credit to Dorkly -3
#85 - happyhadgrenade (06/18/2013) [-]
Ah.
Well yeh. Again, some PC gamers can be jerks.
Not all of us are.
#54 - PC gamers are like the Atheists of the gaming world N…  [+] (3 new replies) 06/18/2013 on Credit to Dorkly -6
#55 - happyhadgrenade (06/18/2013) [-]
Only some Atheists are douchebags. The ones who refuse to accept others beliefs and opinions.
User avatar #72 - captainfuckitall (06/18/2013) [-]
I know, it was a joke. Comparable to how some PC gamers think they are the "glorious gaming master-race"
#85 - happyhadgrenade (06/18/2013) [-]
Ah.
Well yeh. Again, some PC gamers can be jerks.
Not all of us are.
#30 - Comment deleted 06/18/2013 on Morbid for battlefront players +1
#9 - When are they not? 06/18/2013 on Oh 4Chan... +8
#3 - Government Exams really have taken a lot out of people 06/18/2013 on this was a man -1
#12 - It becomes sexy when you realize that means there are at least… 06/17/2013 on How sexy +1
#427 - Male No 06/17/2013 on Would you? 0
#164 - Obviously, I forgot about this fact when I was debating with a… 06/17/2013 on Dat body 0
#163 - You seem to have some very homoerotic thoughts, anon. I don't … 06/17/2013 on Dat body -1
#86 - Oh I will, I cannot help but obey your orders. You are so wise… 06/17/2013 on Dat body -2
#83 - You're absolutely right. I'm taking them WAY too seriously. Pe… 06/17/2013 on Dat body -2
#81 - You just have so much advice and wisdom to give, I can't thank… 06/17/2013 on Dat body -2
#79 - What would be the point? I could never gain your level of wisd…  [+] (6 new replies) 06/17/2013 on Dat body -1
#84 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Welp, I have to go, keep on raging.
User avatar #86 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Oh I will, I cannot help but obey your orders. You are so wise and cool and smart, I would do anything just to be able to listen to you
#82 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Not taking internet arguments so seriously would probably help.
User avatar #83 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're absolutely right. I'm taking them WAY too seriously. Perhaps if I was more like you, I would simply bask in the knowledge I am actually right and simply not reply. But I am not like you, I could never be so wise and righteous as you
#80 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Maybe it would make you less whiny, couldn't hurt.
User avatar #81 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You just have so much advice and wisdom to give, I can't thank you enough for sparing it on little old me. Do you have anything else, anything at all that could even make me a fraction of the man you are (because everyone else is a weak boy compared to you)
#77 - How could I have missed my proper dosage? I'm so lucky I have …  [+] (8 new replies) 06/17/2013 on Dat body -1
#78 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Might want to step away from the computer and gain some perspective as well.
User avatar #79 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
What would be the point? I could never gain your level of wisdom and intelligence. But I will certainly try, only because you asked
#84 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Welp, I have to go, keep on raging.
User avatar #86 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
Oh I will, I cannot help but obey your orders. You are so wise and cool and smart, I would do anything just to be able to listen to you
#82 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Not taking internet arguments so seriously would probably help.
User avatar #83 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You're absolutely right. I'm taking them WAY too seriously. Perhaps if I was more like you, I would simply bask in the knowledge I am actually right and simply not reply. But I am not like you, I could never be so wise and righteous as you
#80 - anonymous (06/17/2013) [-]
Maybe it would make you less whiny, couldn't hurt.
User avatar #81 - captainfuckitall (06/17/2013) [-]
You just have so much advice and wisdom to give, I can't thank you enough for sparing it on little old me. Do you have anything else, anything at all that could even make me a fraction of the man you are (because everyone else is a weak boy compared to you)

Comments(481):

[ 481 comments ]

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Per page:
Order:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #489 - myfourthaccount (07/18/2014) [-]
dude, you're like my most favorite person on earth right now haha
User avatar #487 - imvlad (05/04/2014) [-]
you brought shame to your house
User avatar #483 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Have you by chance had an older account here before?
User avatar #484 to #483 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was deleted for some reason I never found, so I just made another.
#485 to #484 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 to #485 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no fucking mates, Dave".
User avatar #481 - iforgotmyothername (03/20/2014) [-]
you are one cool tempered potato compared to me, bringing my fury upon your wrongness. i salute you, and thumbed up all your comments in the a capella debate.
User avatar #482 to #481 - captainfuckitall (03/20/2014) [-]
It's alright, I apologize for making you upset, but you don't need to thumb my posts up. Thumbs are a way to express positivity or negativity toward any type of comments; if you do not like them, it is perfectly within your right to thumb them down.
User avatar #474 - aherorising (11/20/2013) [-]
you're a really cool bro
#471 - shiifter (10/06/2013) [-]
This still makes me giggle.

Oh and by the way, i never actually thumbed you down. I just said that i did.
User avatar #472 to #471 - captainfuckitall (10/06/2013) [-]
The thing is, the way I found OUT you gave me those thumbs was because of the question mark, which allows people to see who voted on content. I could only KNOW it was you if you had thumbed them down, which you did.

And now you not only prove to be an idiot, but a liar as well.
#473 to #472 - shiifter (10/12/2013) [-]
Wait? You still remembered that? That's hilarious.

By the way, i screencapped this. it's like a trophy.
User avatar #468 - satrenkotheone (09/22/2013) [-]
I would just like to say thank you.
#466 - anonymous (08/25/2013) [-]
Due to your pointlessly rude comment on the post "Jesus ain't got time for shit",

I have gone through 20 of your previous comments and thumbed them all down.

You're also a stupid, unfunny, tryhard feelfag. Exactly the kind of user that this site is infamous for.
User avatar #467 to #466 - captainfuckitall (08/25/2013) [-]
I wasn't pointlessly rude. If you read it more carefully, you would find I am not insulting your god or faith, but rather, the people who spread it about; and even they are just doing it to themselves, while I am mearly making an observation

It's ironic you call me tryhard, considering you just went through the time to thumb-down my last 20 comments as if it would have any effect on me personally or my ranking here. It's also odd you call me stupid, considering you were the one who read it uncorrectly. And I think the fact I have so many comment thumbs anyways (including my own jesus comment) speaks to the point that I am, in fact, quite hilarious. "Feelfag", is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone who is passionate about certain things? If so, then I take pride in it, as it is only through passion that things grow.

Considering you are pretentious, arrogant, immature, and without a sense of humour; you fit the criteria for '12 year old funnyjunker' far better than I do.
#463 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.   
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.   
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.   
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
User avatar #464 to #463 - captainfuckitall (07/16/2013) [-]
You are just a wonderful person, you know that? Thank you very much for your kind words and appreciation, and I'm glad you have made an account and made many friends here, including myself
#465 to #464 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
You're welcome, good sir.
You're welcome, good sir.
User avatar #461 - potgardener (06/01/2013) [-]
youre pretty fucked in the head if beating a kid is a good idea, parents would need to hit their kids if they taught them what was right and wrong from the beginning
User avatar #462 to #461 - captainfuckitall (06/01/2013) [-]
It's ironic how you talk about avoiding situations, when your very comment isn't needed considering I already explained, about five times now, that I do not mean you must 'abuse' your children in order to get good results. My comment, and all the comments afterwards, were about how when compassion and support fails you must turn to punishment and discipline, including simply smacking your kid upside the head

Perhaps you should read more and get better informed before jumping to opinions, yes?
#459 - bossdelainternet (05/11/2013) [-]
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest  threads i've seen this year.   
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...   
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest threads i've seen this year.
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
User avatar #460 to #459 - captainfuckitall (05/11/2013) [-]
I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult

I choose the former

Thank you, good sir
#453 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
I just thought I'd let you know that I just did an awful thing and quoted your majestic deep words of death wisdom onto my facebook. I gave you credit, but as part of my shame for stealing I thought I'd tell you. That was honestly one of the best things I've ever read.

Which is also why I screencapped it. Don't worry I swear I'm not going to try to get to frontpage with it I just wanted to save it.
User avatar #454 to #453 - captainfuckitall (11/12/2012) [-]
Not at all, I am not concerned with thumbs in the least. If you would like to post it, by all means do so, if you'd like to take credit, do so as well; I care not for material value or fame, as long as comprehend and understand the message
#455 to #454 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
Oh man you just keep getting better:)    
   
But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
Oh man you just keep getting better:)

But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
#449 - captainspankmonkey (02/27/2012) [-]
Internet problems
That is why :P
User avatar #450 to #460 - captainfuckitall (02/27/2012) [-]
ahhh, haha, sorry then :P
#447 - anonymous (09/26/2011) [-]
you're a lovely person
User avatar #448 to #458 - captainfuckitall (09/26/2011) [-]
awe, thank you, kind stranger :3

that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :D
#444 - captainspankmonkey (08/22/2011) [-]
Im becoming level 28 soon
User avatar #445 to #454 - captainfuckitall (08/22/2011) [-]
sooooooooooooooooon............
User avatar #446 to #455 - captainspankmonkey (08/22/2011) [-]
very soooooooooooooooooooooon......
[ 481 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)