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captainfuckitall

Rank #376 on Comments
captainfuckitall Avatar Level 349 Comments: Sold Soul
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Date Signed Up:4/12/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#376
Highest Content Rank:#10530
Highest Comment Rank:#49
Content Thumbs: 34 total,  90 ,  56
Comment Thumbs: 53600 total,  65489 ,  11889
Content Level Progress: 66.1% (39/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 43.1% (431/1000)
Level 349 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 350 Comments: Knight Of Funnyjunk
Subscribers:22
Content Views:9755
Times Content Favorited:12 times
Total Comments Made:15590
FJ Points:21656

latest user's comments

#102 - Tons of affection is fine just as long as its complimented by … 11/11/2014 on Skyrim 0
#96 - Sure it does. Perhaps you have a point, perhaps he's just natu…  [+] (1 new reply) 11/11/2014 on Skyrim 0
User avatar #97 - beardarama (11/11/2014) [-]
i suppose that's true. But then again I met a bunch of people who have grown up in quite strict households where discipline is taken seriously, and they have a very difficult time with dealing with their own emotions and are generally rather emotionally crippled.

I guess it's not good for parents to take an extreme approach for either being too nice or too harsh.
#64 - And this, brothers and sisters, is what happens when you coddl…  [+] (5 new replies) 11/11/2014 on Skyrim +9
#101 - evanxzile (11/11/2014) [-]
I got cuddle enough for three children as a kid and I have never had any of these problems.
User avatar #102 - captainfuckitall (11/11/2014) [-]
Tons of affection is fine just as long as its complimented by discipline, I think.
User avatar #95 - beardarama (11/11/2014) [-]
stuff like that doesn't happen just because you spoil a child. He might have had some sort of trauma or maybe that's just how his brain works. Who knows honestly
User avatar #96 - captainfuckitall (11/11/2014) [-]
Sure it does. Perhaps you have a point, perhaps he's just naturally a weakling or suffered from something that made him so, but I had never once met a person who was raised even slightly harshly who could NOT handle situations. Every single person I know who has had sources of discipline in their lives have all been able to be independent and perform in any area; it's only the people who never get told 'no' or allowed to overly-indulge and constantly soothed that turn out like this.
User avatar #97 - beardarama (11/11/2014) [-]
i suppose that's true. But then again I met a bunch of people who have grown up in quite strict households where discipline is taken seriously, and they have a very difficult time with dealing with their own emotions and are generally rather emotionally crippled.

I guess it's not good for parents to take an extreme approach for either being too nice or too harsh.
#62 - The problem isn't that it's hard to stop masturbating, it's no…  [+] (1 new reply) 11/11/2014 on 12 seconds? +2
#72 - rickastleylynched (11/11/2014) [-]
Thinking about it now, leaving e621 for a straight month would be wondrous upon my return. People don't draw furry girls making out with each other very often, so there's a new image of it every day or so compared to the onslaught of everything else. Something to do with dog girls not having lips or some bullshit. But if I left it alone for a month, going back it'd be like Christmas morning. Christmas morning with tongues.
#94 - You have greater tolerance than I, old boy. 11/04/2014 on Be Warned 0
#11 - Personally? I disagree, I think that sleeping with many people…  [+] (2 new replies) 11/04/2014 on Thanks Mom -2
#24 - anonymous (11/04/2014) [-]
This is the dumbest thing i've ever read
User avatar #23 - smaaen (11/04/2014) [-]
I almost didn't reply, almost.

You know what, I've slept with a lot of people. But I've also cared and liked them all, minus one or two "one night stands" - but later got to know them better. Who are you to say that it lowers the value of my body and my affection? The fuck is that, do you have a scale or some shit?

Practically? If you're safe, odds of it happening are as big as getting hit by a bus - going outside is a risk, but you still do it .. don't you? Get the fuck back to your basement with that thinking, women will have sex with men they are attracted to or because they like you, being "alpha" can get you loose sloots easier, sure, but that's not how it works. Being kind, funny, charismatic is all you need - if you have good looks it's a bonus (makes it easier if casual sex is all you want).

Poor judgement and risk-taking? If you're being safe (which a lot of people are), being intimate with someone you find sexually attractive is fan-fucking-tastic, it feels great and it's actually healthy (and a decent cardio work out if you do it right).

Perhaps if you speak of only yourself, just fucking people you have zero affection for, then I can agree on the part that it devalues your affection (but not your body, unless you contract an STD).
#24 - No I didn't, granted the post didn't say anything about it bei… 11/03/2014 on Be Warned 0
#20 - You can express your love for people all you like, but there's…  [+] (2 new replies) 11/03/2014 on Be Warned -5
User avatar #21 - SteyrAUG (11/03/2014) [-]
You realize it's from a poetry slam and the guy possibly doesn't even have a daughter right?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcIwZ1Dth0c
User avatar #24 - captainfuckitall (11/03/2014) [-]
No I didn't, granted the post didn't say anything about it being poetry and it certainly didn't sound like poetry either (although I've heard "Slam poetry" before and I suppose that's just something to expect from it).

I stand by my point, though I accept my red thumbs with stride.
#7 - When I first read it I thought it said "erotic aneurysm&q… 11/03/2014 on Don't hate me, guys 0
#4 - I don't trust watching this after reading your name... 11/03/2014 on I made my first WEBM +1
#5 - Paraphrasing, the mom is basically telling her daughter to bec…  [+] (7 new replies) 11/03/2014 on Thanks Mom +160
User avatar #21 - jewsburninindaoven (11/04/2014) [-]
Since she said that he broke her heart, I think it's fair to assume that she's more than unsatisfied in that relationship, if it even still exists.
#10 - xcoreyx (11/04/2014) [-]
Am I the only one who thinks people should be allowed to have sex with whoever they want without being called a whore? I mean if it's cheating that's another story, I just mean in general
User avatar #16 - rainbowrush (11/04/2014) [-]
There's a difference between sleeping around and fuckign someone for revenge.
User avatar #11 - captainfuckitall (11/04/2014) [-]
Personally? I disagree, I think that sleeping with many people lowers the value of both your body and your affection.

Practically? You're still wrong, as sex/pregnancy is a dangerous thing, women are evolutionarily inclined to want to have sex with only the 'alpha' males, and having sex with anyone, any time, freely is a sign of poor judgement and risk-taking.
#24 - anonymous (11/04/2014) [-]
This is the dumbest thing i've ever read
User avatar #23 - smaaen (11/04/2014) [-]
I almost didn't reply, almost.

You know what, I've slept with a lot of people. But I've also cared and liked them all, minus one or two "one night stands" - but later got to know them better. Who are you to say that it lowers the value of my body and my affection? The fuck is that, do you have a scale or some shit?

Practically? If you're safe, odds of it happening are as big as getting hit by a bus - going outside is a risk, but you still do it .. don't you? Get the fuck back to your basement with that thinking, women will have sex with men they are attracted to or because they like you, being "alpha" can get you loose sloots easier, sure, but that's not how it works. Being kind, funny, charismatic is all you need - if you have good looks it's a bonus (makes it easier if casual sex is all you want).

Poor judgement and risk-taking? If you're being safe (which a lot of people are), being intimate with someone you find sexually attractive is fan-fucking-tastic, it feels great and it's actually healthy (and a decent cardio work out if you do it right).

Perhaps if you speak of only yourself, just fucking people you have zero affection for, then I can agree on the part that it devalues your affection (but not your body, unless you contract an STD).
#6 - tannerninja (11/03/2014) [-]
**tannerninja rolled image** I'm gonna go with her mom was being literal
#7 - Does Aang's are grow freakishly long when he's horny or what? 11/03/2014 on Origins of Tenzin +1
#6 - Whenever I see parents doing things like this, especially in p…  [+] (7 new replies) 11/03/2014 on Be Warned -37
#156 - anonymous (11/04/2014) [-]
I don't see any reason at all a father's affection of this level should embarrass the daughter.

If anything, the daughter should be moved by how much feeling and raw emotion went into hopefully preventing her broken heart.

Honestly, the only embarrassing thing would be a daughter who is carelessly tossing away her father's affection when so many other children are neglected such privilege.
User avatar #61 - grellslover (11/04/2014) [-]
Or you could be like me. I love and accept the fact that my parents are goofballs, and because I accept it they cant embarrass me. And even if they did you know what? I'd get over it!

"Oh no my parents are a bit goofy but still love me tons. I guess I should go and get fat and try to kill myself. That'll show em." What the hell would that solve anyway. F*** you!


User avatar #94 - captainfuckitall (11/04/2014) [-]
You have greater tolerance than I, old boy.
User avatar #11 - SteyrAUG (11/03/2014) [-]
Yes, how dare he publicly express his love for his daughter and eagerness to defend her.
User avatar #20 - captainfuckitall (11/03/2014) [-]
You can express your love for people all you like, but there's a reason you do it in-doors and "public displays of affection" are seen as a bad thing when overdone. If my parents did something like that with me, I would nearly die of embarrassment and would certainly isolate myself from everyone I could. If I saw someone else's parents do that with them, I'd try to avoid them at all costs as I certainly would not want to get involved (and potentially invited over) with someone who's parents still treat them like a child.
User avatar #21 - SteyrAUG (11/03/2014) [-]
You realize it's from a poetry slam and the guy possibly doesn't even have a daughter right?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcIwZ1Dth0c
User avatar #24 - captainfuckitall (11/03/2014) [-]
No I didn't, granted the post didn't say anything about it being poetry and it certainly didn't sound like poetry either (although I've heard "Slam poetry" before and I suppose that's just something to expect from it).

I stand by my point, though I accept my red thumbs with stride.
#5 - What high are you?  [+] (5 new replies) 11/03/2014 on Be Warned +93
#155 - anonymous (11/04/2014) [-]
**anonymous rolled comment #15 ** :
Aw man, it's as if these animals have the same mental processing abilities as we do and was not under the assumption that the person was going to eat him as soon as he pulled him out...
Let's find out.
#69 - anonymous (11/04/2014) [-]
D and L arent even remotely close to each other wtf
#50 - sizimizi (11/04/2014) [-]
Yes.
#7 - anonymous (11/03/2014) [-]
*roll 100000* His level of high
#10 - bagguhsleep (11/03/2014) [-]
#11 - Did the big, bad, officer Brown take your weed away again, Mr.…  [+] (1 new reply) 11/03/2014 on Good cops +49
#80 - anonymous (11/04/2014) [-]
He took mine away now 2 of my friends have been arrested to "distribution", one cant drive, one of my freinds sister in jail, and one dick friend in which none of us talk too. I know I sound like a bitch and a whiner but its fucking dumb.
anon out of fear of red thumbs
#8 - One of the greatest things that life has taught me is that any…  [+] (1 new reply) 11/03/2014 on Rich dick status confirmed. +24
User avatar #20 - spacemonkeyvii (11/03/2014) [-]
True that, everyone I know who goes out of there way to mention their "horrible" pasts hasn't really had it that bad. The ones who tell you the shit that they have been through when you're alone with them at 2 in the morning however, that always seems more genuine
#14 - Ah, right, I forgot about her. Though she is literally the onl… 11/03/2014 on Yet another fucking... -1
#8 - Boothead has a point. I fully believe and understand that an i…  [+] (2 new replies) 11/03/2014 on Yet another fucking... +2
#13 - bommeraang (11/03/2014) [-]
What about based mom? normal feminist might not have the soap boxes that the militants use.
User avatar #14 - captainfuckitall (11/03/2014) [-]
Ah, right, I forgot about her. Though she is literally the only one I've EVER seen (in memory, anyways) that both identifies as a Feminist and holds other Feminists to the same standards she holds herself.
#5 - Speak for yourself, mortal. I plan to live forever. 11/03/2014 on privilege +2
#32 - Pay no attention to the guy on the left, but look at the tatto… 11/03/2014 on Tattoos +1
#38 - What does fessing up do in a place where nothing comes of it? … 11/03/2014 on When I was younger +1
#18 - This just makes me realize that when Admin has a daughter, we'…  [+] (3 new replies) 11/03/2014 on pol's daughter +13
User avatar #56 - pickaxe (11/03/2014) [-]
pfft,more along the lines of "fetus room"
#52 - lordsepulchure (11/03/2014) [-]
#27 - Kanoah (11/03/2014) [-]
#6 - The greatest political irony is that the more anarchistic some… 11/03/2014 on (untitled) +1
#5 - I think that's her plan, really. 11/03/2014 on A circle? Triangle? Square? +6
#21 - Holy bias, Batman! "Fat people shouldn't have to… 11/03/2014 on because logic +6

Comments(489):

[ 489 comments ]

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#492 - miia ONLINE (12/13/2014) [-]
User avatar #494 to #492 - captainfuckitall (12/13/2014) [-]
Well aren't you a sweetheart for helping me get over my fear
#495 to #494 - miia ONLINE (12/13/2014) [-]
im actually about to go to bed but hi
User avatar #496 to #495 - captainfuckitall (12/13/2014) [-]
Well don't let me keep you. Hi back, and feel free to continue the conversation any time.
User avatar #490 - commencingfailure (09/30/2014) [-]
******* retard compares the IS to today's feminists. One could say ignorance is an everspreading cancer, you did your job to increase the spread.
User avatar #491 to #490 - captainfuckitall (09/30/2014) [-]
You seem REALLY mad, friend. Perhaps you should calm down and take some ass ointment before you need to see a doctor
User avatar #489 - myfourthaccount (07/18/2014) [-]
dude, you're like my most favorite person on earth right now haha
User avatar #487 - imvlad (05/04/2014) [-]
you brought shame to your house
User avatar #483 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Have you by chance had an older account here before?
User avatar #484 to #483 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was deleted for some reason I never found, so I just made another.
#485 to #484 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 to #485 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no ******* mates, Dave".
User avatar #481 - iforgotmyothername (03/20/2014) [-]
you are one cool tempered potato compared to me, bringing my fury upon your wrongness. i salute you, and thumbed up all your comments in the a capella debate.
User avatar #482 to #481 - captainfuckitall (03/20/2014) [-]
It's alright, I apologize for making you upset, but you don't need to thumb my posts up. Thumbs are a way to express positivity or negativity toward any type of comments; if you do not like them, it is perfectly within your right to thumb them down.
User avatar #474 - aherorising (11/20/2013) [-]
you're a really cool bro
#471 - shiifter (10/06/2013) [-]
This still makes me giggle.

Oh and by the way, i never actually thumbed you down. I just said that i did.
User avatar #472 to #471 - captainfuckitall (10/06/2013) [-]
The thing is, the way I found OUT you gave me those thumbs was because of the question mark, which allows people to see who voted on content. I could only KNOW it was you if you had thumbed them down, which you did.

And now you not only prove to be an idiot, but a liar as well.
#473 to #472 - shiifter (10/12/2013) [-]
Wait? You still remembered that? That's hilarious.

By the way, i screencapped this. it's like a trophy.
User avatar #468 - satrenkotheone ONLINE (09/22/2013) [-]
I would just like to say thank you.
#466 - anonymous (08/25/2013) [-]
Due to your pointlessly rude comment on the post "Jesus ain't got time for **** ",

I have gone through 20 of your previous comments and thumbed them all down.

You're also a stupid, unfunny, tryhard feelfag. Exactly the kind of user that this site is infamous for.
User avatar #467 to #466 - captainfuckitall (08/25/2013) [-]
I wasn't pointlessly rude. If you read it more carefully, you would find I am not insulting your god or faith, but rather, the people who spread it about; and even they are just doing it to themselves, while I am mearly making an observation

It's ironic you call me tryhard, considering you just went through the time to thumb-down my last 20 comments as if it would have any effect on me personally or my ranking here. It's also odd you call me stupid, considering you were the one who read it uncorrectly. And I think the fact I have so many comment thumbs anyways (including my own jesus comment) speaks to the point that I am, in fact, quite hilarious. "Feelfag", is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone who is passionate about certain things? If so, then I take pride in it, as it is only through passion that things grow.

Considering you are pretentious, arrogant, immature, and without a sense of humour; you fit the criteria for '12 year old funnyjunker' far better than I do.
#463 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.   
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.   
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.   
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
User avatar #464 to #463 - captainfuckitall (07/16/2013) [-]
You are just a wonderful person, you know that? Thank you very much for your kind words and appreciation, and I'm glad you have made an account and made many friends here, including myself
#465 to #464 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
You're welcome, good sir.
You're welcome, good sir.
User avatar #461 - potgardener (06/01/2013) [-]
youre pretty ****** in the head if beating a kid is a good idea, parents would need to hit their kids if they taught them what was right and wrong from the beginning
User avatar #462 to #461 - captainfuckitall (06/01/2013) [-]
It's ironic how you talk about avoiding situations, when your very comment isn't needed considering I already explained, about five times now, that I do not mean you must 'abuse' your children in order to get good results. My comment, and all the comments afterwards, were about how when compassion and support fails you must turn to punishment and discipline, including simply smacking your kid upside the head

Perhaps you should read more and get better informed before jumping to opinions, yes?
#459 - bossdelainternet (05/11/2013) [-]
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest  threads i've seen this year.   
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...   
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest threads i've seen this year.
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
User avatar #460 to #459 - captainfuckitall (05/11/2013) [-]
I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult

I choose the former

Thank you, good sir
#453 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
I just thought I'd let you know that I just did an awful thing and quoted your majestic deep words of death wisdom onto my facebook. I gave you credit, but as part of my shame for stealing I thought I'd tell you. That was honestly one of the best things I've ever read.

Which is also why I screencapped it. Don't worry I swear I'm not going to try to get to frontpage with it I just wanted to save it.
User avatar #454 to #453 - captainfuckitall (11/12/2012) [-]
Not at all, I am not concerned with thumbs in the least. If you would like to post it, by all means do so, if you'd like to take credit, do so as well; I care not for material value or fame, as long as comprehend and understand the message
#455 to #454 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
Oh man you just keep getting better:)    
   
But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
Oh man you just keep getting better:)

But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
#449 - captainspankmonkey (02/27/2012) [-]
Internet problems
That is why :P
User avatar #450 to #460 - captainfuckitall (02/27/2012) [-]
ahhh, haha, sorry then :P
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