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Personal Info
Date Signed Up:4/12/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#9841
Comment Ranking:#336
Highest Content Rank:#9859
Highest Comment Rank:#49
Content Thumbs: 42 total,  99 ,  57
Comment Thumbs: 58189 total,  71178 ,  12989
Content Level Progress: 77.96% (46/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 74.5% (745/1000)
Level 352 Comments: Knight Of Funnyjunk → Level 353 Comments: Knight Of Funnyjunk
Content Views:10809
Times Content Favorited:12 times
Total Comments Made:16668
FJ Points:24977

latest user's comments

#17 - Before anyone goes on and on about how lonely they are. If you…  [+] (44 new replies) 11/20/2013 on i think i need a hug +11
#134 - Kairyuka (11/20/2013) [-]
No you wouldn't. I'm sorry, but you wouldn't.
User avatar #159 - captainfuckitall (11/20/2013) [-]
You, I remember you. I offered to be your friend once a long time ago and that has not changed, it is YOU who convinced yourself I didn't like you, and I didn't bother trying to change that because I knew you wouldn't believe it.

What I said to you then is still just as true as now, and will still be true 20 years from now, and even a thousand years from now, that you must learn to like yourself before and understand that you are worthy of love and validation before you will be able to get any, otherwise you will just keep pushing people away, like you did to me.
User avatar #178 - Kairyuka (11/21/2013) [-]
I do like myself. But I also know that I get annoying at times, especially when people show me that they want to help. I was merely stopping it before it went rotten. Happens time and time again I'm afraid.
Honestly I'mm not sure of anything altely. All I know is that however I think or do is wrong. It's always wrong and I should change everything I am. I just don't know any more. I don't know
User avatar #179 - captainfuckitall (11/21/2013) [-]
Perhaps so, but you lack confidence. Everyone gets annoying at times, pushing people away just makes you more-so. They wouldn't be there if they didn't like you.

No, you don't always act wrongly, you just convince yourself you do. And for as long as you believe you are doing wrong, you will continue to do so. No one on Earth can tell what you are doing better than you, so if you are indecisive and unsure, the first step will be to GET sure.
User avatar #180 - Kairyuka (11/21/2013) [-]
And at some point I was. But when everything I'm ever told is that I'm wrong, that I do things wrong, combined with the fact that everyone shows me that I'm wrong, then you kinda lose your faith.
User avatar #181 - captainfuckitall (11/21/2013) [-]
That's all well and good, but nobody will always agree with everything you do, which is why you need to stand by your own principles. Do what you believe to be best, regardless of what others may think. If it doesn't seem to be working, do not necessarily think you are doing wrong, but question WHY it isn't working.

Constantly adopting a new plan every time a single flaw is discovered gains you nothing; there will always be a flaw, true genius and perseverance is about working around them.
User avatar #182 - Kairyuka (11/21/2013) [-]
The thing is. My principles and my dreams exclude each other. So one is wrong. But which? I honestly don't know.
User avatar #183 - captainfuckitall (11/21/2013) [-]
If you do know, then nobody will. You must make the choice yourself and make it firmly, otherwise you will never grow past this stage.
User avatar #184 - Kairyuka (11/21/2013) [-]
But no matter what I choose, I can't change how I feel about things. I'm constantly conflicted, but the conflict is that I'm the only one who thinks I'm awesome and that I can reach my dreams. All I'm ever shown is that I'm wrong wrong wrong. So I just don't know any more. I just can't
User avatar #132 - boydaranga (11/20/2013) [-]
w- .... wanna play chivalry?
User avatar #157 - captainfuckitall (11/20/2013) [-]
I'd actually love to. I saw a Demo for the game and it looked great, but unfortunately I do not have a Steam account or money to spare. I'm sorry, chum.
#97 - loopz (11/20/2013) [-]
But you're going to fuck it all will you?
User avatar #156 - captainfuckitall (11/20/2013) [-]
Not it all! My name does not describe my sexual nature, but rather, my general attitude toward life and indifference to most things which I have no passion for.

However, I make up for it by being VERY passionate about other things.

Like our friendship!
User avatar #56 - krasnogvardiech (11/20/2013) [-]
I don't need a love interest. I need a true companion. Bring your boyfriend if you like, we'll make a man out of him yet.

Be warned; this will not be easy. We will square off against coyotes, cougars, bears and wild dogs. We will walk in forests few have set foot in, drink from rivers few have seen and swim in lakes few have known of.

Well? What say you?
User avatar #57 - captainfuckitall (11/20/2013) [-]
Haha, I say adventuring's the life for me, and that if I could go with anyone in the world, it would be with no one else but you blokes.
User avatar #41 - thathorse (11/20/2013) [-]
That all depends, can I fuck you?
User avatar #42 - captainfuckitall (11/20/2013) [-]
As long as I'm top.
User avatar #43 - thathorse (11/20/2013) [-]
Eh, we'll switch every once in a while. I hear compromises are made in a relationship so I figure I gotta start somewhere
User avatar #44 - captainfuckitall (11/20/2013) [-]
Anyone who compromises their principles is trash, and I don't associate with trash. If you want to be top, you have to fight to make me bottom. Earn it.
User avatar #45 - thathorse (11/20/2013) [-]
Fair point. So why should you be on top?
User avatar #46 - captainfuckitall (11/20/2013) [-]
I said I should because I assumed I would fight for it while you would not. But if you're willing we can have a nice wrestle and see where it goes.
User avatar #47 - thathorse (11/20/2013) [-]
That sounds like it could lead somewhere, will there be oil involved. If we're gonna wrestle might as well make it all slippery
User avatar #48 - captainfuckitall (11/20/2013) [-]
Wouldn't be fun if there wasn't.
User avatar #49 - thathorse (11/20/2013) [-]
Very well we shall do just that, but no scented oil I don't want to smell like a cheap stripper, although if we pick one up that would make things much more fun
User avatar #33 - sexyhimself (11/20/2013) [-]
depends, are you good at video games?
User avatar #34 - captainfuckitall (11/20/2013) [-]
That's the word on the street.
User avatar #35 - sexyhimself (11/20/2013) [-]
I am not half bad myself, not very good.....but not incredibly bad either.
User avatar #37 - captainfuckitall (11/20/2013) [-]
Don't worry, stud. I'll show you how to handle that joystick.
User avatar #38 - sexyhimself (11/20/2013) [-]
what if we play games that doesn't require joysticks?
User avatar #39 - captainfuckitall (11/20/2013) [-]
I don't have enough sexual innuendo's to role with that, so we'll just have fun.
User avatar #40 - sexyhimself (11/20/2013) [-]
sounds awesome.
User avatar #30 - cantankerousotter (11/20/2013) [-]
Ahem, I think we need to be friends because I LOVE stargazing. Also i like your username.
User avatar #32 - captainfuckitall (11/20/2013) [-]
Oh my gods, so do I!

You can tell me all about the constellations and what they mean as I cuddle up next to you under a blanket with some Hot Chocolate.
User avatar #173 - cantankerousotter (11/21/2013) [-]
Yes! That sounds so wonderful. Usually I'm just in my backyard by myself with my telescope.
User avatar #25 - orangepikmin (11/20/2013) [-]
That's pretty cool of you to say this.

I don't need that level of emotional support yet, but will you be my friend?
User avatar #26 - captainfuckitall (11/20/2013) [-]
For as long as you want me, Sir.
User avatar #27 - orangepikmin (11/20/2013) [-]
Till the end of time count?

Also, I would be happy to lend any emotional support if you need it as well.

User avatar #28 - captainfuckitall (11/20/2013) [-]
I plan to live forever, and I would be happy to see it with you.

Thank you, I appreciate it.
User avatar #21 - achphoenix (11/20/2013) [-]
will you listen to music and cuddle with me? :3
User avatar #22 - captainfuckitall (11/20/2013) [-]
Warning: I don't care much for country, and I'm a MASSIVE cuddle-bunny. Don't start anything you can't finish, big boy.
User avatar #23 - achphoenix (11/20/2013) [-]
who said anything about we would ever be finished, sweety???
User avatar #18 - nothingatall (11/20/2013) [-]
I like ur name
User avatar #19 - captainfuckitall (11/20/2013) [-]
I like ur face
User avatar #20 - nothingatall (11/20/2013) [-]
#7 - I want to dress like a preschooler and watch someone pleasure … 11/20/2013 on Honesty sucks +1
#6 - I can't help but read that in his voice. 11/20/2013 on Let me spell it 0
#20 - Kamloops, British Columbia, Canada. I promise I'm not as big o… 11/20/2013 on Single vs Relationship 0
#31 - Perhaps even.... Cactus that kind of looks like a penis … 11/20/2013 on Very pointy 0
#38 - Holy **** , never repost this again. If someone fr… 11/20/2013 on Stop Richism. 0
#43 - You can obviously tell he's done it before. 11/20/2013 on Twitter Rooftop Breakup +5
#118 - Now we just need a general. 11/19/2013 on God Damn Batman. +1
#40 - Chances are it wants to **** you too, actually. 11/19/2013 on Have you seen a baby... +6
#106 - Mhmm, well it's just the way he's portrayed. I mean, ya, he's …  [+] (2 new replies) 11/19/2013 on God Damn Batman. 0
User avatar #117 - captaincool (11/19/2013) [-]
Hello fellow captain
User avatar #118 - captainfuckitall (11/19/2013) [-]
Now we just need a general.
#82 - Damn it, where's thesoundofwinter when you need him? 11/19/2013 on "Aw, you got me! What was... 0
#106 - Funnyjunk is love Funnyjunk is life You may never leave.  [+] (1 new reply) 11/19/2013 on Too damn high. 0
User avatar #111 - mariopimp (11/19/2013) [-]
No fucking shit, I've seen pretty much every picture on here and I'm still going....I need a life...
#101 - Eh, as much as I like DC and the comic heroes, Batman has beco…  [+] (5 new replies) 11/19/2013 on God Damn Batman. 0
User avatar #132 - metajunky (11/19/2013) [-]
Agreed. Love Batman, but his fanboys (writers included) make me view his flaws as a character more
User avatar #105 - zorororonoa (11/19/2013) [-]
I'm more annoyed at the people who think he is the best because HES THE GODDAMN BATMAN! I like him too but he ain't invincible like people think.
User avatar #106 - captainfuckitall (11/19/2013) [-]
Mhmm, well it's just the way he's portrayed. I mean, ya, he's really smart, tough, and strong, but he's still human and a brick to the head could still kill him.
User avatar #117 - captaincool (11/19/2013) [-]
Hello fellow captain
User avatar #118 - captainfuckitall (11/19/2013) [-]
Now we just need a general.
#41 - I know. I was making a joke.  [+] (1 new reply) 11/19/2013 on TI-punchline-TLE 0
User avatar #43 - pockyrin (11/19/2013) [-]
Ah I just remembered that whole "hidden message behind pixar" a while back. Carry on
#12 - It just looks like he was really happy at first and just less …  [+] (1 new reply) 11/19/2013 on 500 days of Die Hard. 0
#27 - dtanobo (11/19/2013) [-]
I remember reading somewhere that he went through depression after 3rd rock from the sun or whatever it was called because he feared not getting anymore film roles. Now he's one of the biggest stars out there. I'm not sure if what I read was entirely true though so I could be wrong.
#54 - We're sorry for all that. You know we love you guys and would … 11/19/2013 on Rough Childhood +1
#36 - I wanted to be funny too, and thought about a sexy name for my…  [+] (1 new reply) 11/19/2013 on Now at your local grocer 0
#45 - mystogan (11/19/2013) [-]
#84 - **** me, I never want to touch a woman again.  [+] (1 new reply) 11/19/2013 on Fair enough +7
User avatar #104 - wizardfist (11/19/2013) [-]
implying you did in the past
#55 - Huh, so this is what Winter sounds like...  [+] (1 new reply) 11/19/2013 on Money 3 0
#56 - soundofwinter (11/19/2013) [-]
BUSH "The Sound Of Winter" (HD Official Video 2011) from THE SEA OF MEMORIES Here is the secret behind my name
#34 - Jesus christ, for a moment I thought Tumblr had taken hold of …  [+] (3 new replies) 11/19/2013 on TI-punchline-TLE 0
User avatar #39 - pockyrin (11/19/2013) [-]
That entire series of pictures and text is a real episode, except there is a penguin picture instead of dickbutt.
User avatar #41 - captainfuckitall (11/19/2013) [-]
I know.

I was making a joke.
User avatar #43 - pockyrin (11/19/2013) [-]
Ah I just remembered that whole "hidden message behind pixar" a while back. Carry on
#33 - I was more thinking "How can we die when we're never actu…  [+] (1 new reply) 11/19/2013 on (untitled) +7
User avatar #40 - ilovehitler (11/19/2013) [-]
Nah, it's Jaden Smith, so it'd be written like
How Can We Die When We're Never Actually Hurt?
#30 - Better than that guy who shoved the mic up his asshole. 11/19/2013 on Every Video Game, No... +3
#15 - Someone should show this fact to Jaden Smith so he can make an…  [+] (4 new replies) 11/19/2013 on (untitled) +44
#56 - yaybacon (11/19/2013) [-]
#29 - niggazoid (11/19/2013) [-]
"How can you touch somebody, when your atom's electrons repel objects when they're 10^ -8 meter away from you? "
User avatar #33 - captainfuckitall (11/19/2013) [-]
I was more thinking "How can we die when we're never actually hurt?"
User avatar #40 - ilovehitler (11/19/2013) [-]
Nah, it's Jaden Smith, so it'd be written like
How Can We Die When We're Never Actually Hurt?
#29 - 3-D glasses worn unironically A hat that looks like a mix …  [+] (1 new reply) 11/19/2013 on COVER ME!! I'M RELOADING!! +5
User avatar #42 - swagasauruss (11/19/2013) [-]
He's french he is already a joke? itried
#61 - This isn't about you, anon. 11/19/2013 on Time Loop 0


What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#515 - mcburd ONLINE (02/20/2015) [-]
#513 - anonexplains (02/16/2015) [-]
I thought I'd waste some time also, and FIX yo' thumbs ;)
#514 to #513 - anonexplains (02/16/2015) [-]
Love, luluwho
#505 - thediablo (01/26/2015) [-]
Man, I think I love you
Man, I think I love you
User avatar #506 to #505 - captainfuckitall (01/26/2015) [-]
Haha, where the hell did that come from?
User avatar #507 to #506 - thediablo (01/26/2015) [-]
I saw that kind of argument that you had and I liked not only what you said but the way you said it, I think you did it pretty cool and everything

if you meant the gif it's from Soul Eater
User avatar #508 to #507 - captainfuckitall (01/26/2015) [-]
That's the first time I heard that. Generally, my abrasive and blunt speech drives most people to dislike me, not give me affection. You're a sweetheart, though.

Haha, no, I did not mean the gif.
User avatar #509 to #508 - thediablo (01/26/2015) [-]
I feel the same way about myself, I have to say that if those speeches were used against me I would feel a little bit upset, but you ask for clear answers and sources, and you try to make the other person think before they speak, I like that in general, not just mindless bashing ahaha
User avatar #510 to #509 - captainfuckitall (01/26/2015) [-]
Well I'm certainly glad you can see the good in my speaking skills. Frankly, I do it to get to the point. I hate having my time wasted for any reason, and so I extend that courtesy to others and try not to waste anyone else's time either; which leads me to being very blunt and brutal in my words so that they cannot be confused or misheard. Though I admit I was frustrated in that debate.
User avatar #511 to #510 - thediablo (01/26/2015) [-]
most of them are frustrating anyway

and yeah, it sucks when people start to get offtrack because of a single comment that you used as an example or something, it's proof that they are desperately trying to derail the conversation to their favor
User avatar #512 to #511 - captainfuckitall (01/26/2015) [-]
Oh well. When you get into a debate with someone, the point should be because you are trying to change your own views, not theirs.

If someone doesn't want to believe something, they won't. End of story. You could use all the proof you want to tell someone the colour of the sky is blue, but if they want it to be green, it will be and there's nothing you can do to stop it.

Thus, the only person you should be focused on changing in a debate is yourself, and only do so to get more perspective on the issues important to you.
User avatar #498 - gugek (12/30/2014) [-]
Hey! Good afternoon. I hope the rest of your day is awesome and tomorrow is freaking fantastic!
#492 - miia ONLINE (12/13/2014) [-]
User avatar #494 to #492 - captainfuckitall (12/13/2014) [-]
Well aren't you a sweetheart for helping me get over my fear
#495 to #494 - miia ONLINE (12/13/2014) [-]
im actually about to go to bed but hi
User avatar #499 to #495 - aurumleo (01/08/2015) [-]
Who's the artist? Sauce?
User avatar #500 to #499 - miia ONLINE (01/08/2015) [-]
i dont remember and its too late for me to find out
reverse search it
#501 to #500 - aurumleo (01/08/2015) [-]
I found it! The artist's nukomasu. Thanks, Miia. If it weren't for that image, I won't find it.
User avatar #496 to #495 - captainfuckitall (12/13/2014) [-]
Well don't let me keep you. Hi back, and feel free to continue the conversation any time.
User avatar #503 to #502 - captainfuckitall (01/09/2015) [-]
Hello again.
#504 to #503 - miia ONLINE (01/09/2015) [-]

i am exhausted
User avatar #490 - commencingfailure (09/30/2014) [-]
******* retard compares the IS to today's feminists. One could say ignorance is an everspreading cancer, you did your job to increase the spread.
User avatar #491 to #490 - captainfuckitall (09/30/2014) [-]
You seem REALLY mad, friend. Perhaps you should calm down and take some ass ointment before you need to see a doctor
User avatar #489 - myfourthaccount (07/18/2014) [-]
dude, you're like my most favorite person on earth right now haha
User avatar #487 - imvlad (05/04/2014) [-]
you brought shame to your house
User avatar #483 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Have you by chance had an older account here before?
User avatar #484 to #483 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was deleted for some reason I never found, so I just made another.
#485 to #484 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 to #485 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no ******* mates, Dave".
User avatar #481 - iforgotmyothername (03/20/2014) [-]
you are one cool tempered potato compared to me, bringing my fury upon your wrongness. i salute you, and thumbed up all your comments in the a capella debate.
User avatar #482 to #481 - captainfuckitall (03/20/2014) [-]
It's alright, I apologize for making you upset, but you don't need to thumb my posts up. Thumbs are a way to express positivity or negativity toward any type of comments; if you do not like them, it is perfectly within your right to thumb them down.
User avatar #474 - aherorising (11/20/2013) [-]
you're a really cool bro
#471 - shiifter (10/06/2013) [-]
This still makes me giggle.

Oh and by the way, i never actually thumbed you down. I just said that i did.
User avatar #472 to #471 - captainfuckitall (10/06/2013) [-]
The thing is, the way I found OUT you gave me those thumbs was because of the question mark, which allows people to see who voted on content. I could only KNOW it was you if you had thumbed them down, which you did.

And now you not only prove to be an idiot, but a liar as well.
#473 to #472 - shiifter (10/12/2013) [-]
Wait? You still remembered that? That's hilarious.

By the way, i screencapped this. it's like a trophy.
User avatar #468 - satrenkotheone ONLINE (09/22/2013) [-]
I would just like to say thank you.
#466 - anonexplains (08/25/2013) [-]
Due to your pointlessly rude comment on the post "Jesus ain't got time for **** ",

I have gone through 20 of your previous comments and thumbed them all down.

You're also a stupid, unfunny, tryhard feelfag. Exactly the kind of user that this site is infamous for.
User avatar #467 to #466 - captainfuckitall (08/25/2013) [-]
I wasn't pointlessly rude. If you read it more carefully, you would find I am not insulting your god or faith, but rather, the people who spread it about; and even they are just doing it to themselves, while I am mearly making an observation

It's ironic you call me tryhard, considering you just went through the time to thumb-down my last 20 comments as if it would have any effect on me personally or my ranking here. It's also odd you call me stupid, considering you were the one who read it uncorrectly. And I think the fact I have so many comment thumbs anyways (including my own jesus comment) speaks to the point that I am, in fact, quite hilarious. "Feelfag", is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone who is passionate about certain things? If so, then I take pride in it, as it is only through passion that things grow.

Considering you are pretentious, arrogant, immature, and without a sense of humour; you fit the criteria for '12 year old funnyjunker' far better than I do.
#463 - captainspankmonkey ONLINE (07/16/2013) [-]
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.   
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.   
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.   
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
User avatar #464 to #463 - captainfuckitall (07/16/2013) [-]
You are just a wonderful person, you know that? Thank you very much for your kind words and appreciation, and I'm glad you have made an account and made many friends here, including myself
#465 to #464 - captainspankmonkey ONLINE (07/16/2013) [-]
You're welcome, good sir.
You're welcome, good sir.
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