Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

captainfuckitall    

Rank #230 on Comments
captainfuckitall Avatar Level 347 Comments: Sold Soul
Offline
Send mail to captainfuckitall Block captainfuckitall Invite captainfuckitall to be your friend flag avatar
Last status update:
-
Personal Info
Date Signed Up:4/12/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#230
Highest Content Rank:#10530
Highest Comment Rank:#49
Content Thumbs: 34 total,  90 ,  56
Comment Thumbs: 50315 total,  61487 ,  11172
Content Level Progress: 66.1% (39/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 17.19% (172/1000)
Level 347 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 348 Comments: Sold Soul
Subscribers:21
Content Views:9692
Times Content Favorited:12 times
Total Comments Made:14942
FJ Points:19397

latest user's comments

#32 - Oh my gods. The big picture is really good and all, but why is… 11/14/2013 on another art comp by dino 0
#42 - I don't know why, but I feel like this picture is shaking back…  [+] (1 new reply) 11/14/2013 on #misogongy +3
User avatar #87 - bagguhsleep (11/14/2013) [-]
It's there.
You just have to believe that it's there.
#18 - Good lord I'm SOBER and could barely spell Batman backwards. 11/14/2013 on The +10
#112 - No, no, rest assured, no matter how hideous something is, at l…  [+] (1 new reply) 11/14/2013 on And I never regretted it +2
User avatar #142 - TheHutchie (11/14/2013) [-]
Unless that one person is the captain of the ship, the ship's gonna keep looking.

Maybe there'll be some kind of "emergency" and that guy will grab the first lifeboat out of there.
#6628662 - I was enjoying that feeling right as I saw this roll too. 11/13/2013 on sfw random board 0
#11 - No it's not. The world is not so nearly as dark and dreary as … 11/13/2013 on I know kung poo 0
#10 - Because there's a difference. Realism is fighting 20 boxers in… 11/13/2013 on I know kung poo 0
#29 - One of the most wonderful things about the Human Race is that …  [+] (3 new replies) 11/13/2013 on And I never regretted it +17
User avatar #65 - TheHutchie (11/13/2013) [-]
If we ever go looking for alien life, find it, and it's not sexy, we'll just say "Fuck it", turn round and head home.
User avatar #112 - captainfuckitall (11/14/2013) [-]
No, no, rest assured, no matter how hideous something is, at least one human will want to fuck the shit out of it. We're truly amazing creatures.
User avatar #142 - TheHutchie (11/14/2013) [-]
Unless that one person is the captain of the ship, the ship's gonna keep looking.

Maybe there'll be some kind of "emergency" and that guy will grab the first lifeboat out of there.
#26 - Very well, then we simply both have differing opinions on the … 11/13/2013 on watcha gonna do faggit? 0
#228 - I'm afraid not, good sir. 11/13/2013 on Mothafukken Deadpool 0
#72 - You're right, it is phytoestrogens, but it's near commonly acc… 11/13/2013 on Wine 0
#24 - And you don't think an Olympic strong-man could do that? I sti…  [+] (2 new replies) 11/13/2013 on watcha gonna do faggit? 0
User avatar #25 - lasmamoe (11/13/2013) [-]
Dude, most people can't even open a jar of pickles. okay maybe they can

In no way whatsoever, would any human have even the slightest chance against a Gorilla OR an Orangutan.
User avatar #26 - captainfuckitall (11/13/2013) [-]
Very well, then we simply both have differing opinions on the matter. Good day to you sir.
#23 - Oh, you seemed to have misread. I never said a human was stron… 11/13/2013 on watcha gonna do faggit? 0
#42 - Why does that Walrus have a bum on his face?  [+] (1 new reply) 11/13/2013 on I'll Never Forget 0
User avatar #44 - slapchoppin (11/13/2013) [-]
because that is how a walrus do
#77 - That's fine, you don't have to. Although, I respectfully ask t…  [+] (1 new reply) 11/13/2013 on I'd be mad too +1
User avatar #83 - lasmamoe (11/13/2013) [-]
I'm with you.
#72 - I'm not mad or upset in the slightest, I am mearly pointing out facts. 11/13/2013 on I'd be mad too +1
#6 - Actually, the relationship of strength between Humans and Apes…  [+] (6 new replies) 11/13/2013 on watcha gonna do faggit? 0
User avatar #10 - lasmamoe (11/13/2013) [-]
The strongest man in the history of the world do not even come CLOSE to the strength of a gorilla.

Even an Orangutan is about 8 times stronger than an average person. It can rip your arms off if it wanted to.
User avatar #24 - captainfuckitall (11/13/2013) [-]
And you don't think an Olympic strong-man could do that? I still think people don't really get just how strong even an untrained human can be if they were forced into that situation.
User avatar #25 - lasmamoe (11/13/2013) [-]
Dude, most people can't even open a jar of pickles. okay maybe they can

In no way whatsoever, would any human have even the slightest chance against a Gorilla OR an Orangutan.
User avatar #26 - captainfuckitall (11/13/2013) [-]
Very well, then we simply both have differing opinions on the matter. Good day to you sir.
#7 - nebuchadnezzaurus (11/13/2013) [-]
So you think gorillas' brains don't condition them not to always use their full strength? Please. Some of the things you said are correct, but the fact is, the upper body strength of the average silverback gorilla is several times greater than that of any strongman in the world. Their occasional feats of strength demonstrate it clearly, when even lacking the motivation and discipline that a human may have, they're able to bend steel pipes with one hand, break trees, easily throw wooden logs that 4 or 5 people couldn't lift, etc. Even chimps may brutalize any human if provoked, and they're much smaller. Zoo handlers know to always submit to an alpha male gorilla, else he may irritably break their limbs.
User avatar #23 - captainfuckitall (11/13/2013) [-]
Oh, you seemed to have misread. I never said a human was stronger than a Silverback Gorrila (and yes that is significant, considering it's one of the biggest and strongest of Gorrilas). And yes, their brain does do that, but they are also more animalistic and less logic oriented than humans are, their left brains aren't as developed.
#65 - So, you seek me out in order to try and sway favour away from …  [+] (2 new replies) 11/13/2013 on I'd be mad too +1
#71 - nebuchadnezzaurus (11/13/2013) [-]
User avatar #72 - captainfuckitall (11/13/2013) [-]
I'm not mad or upset in the slightest, I am mearly pointing out facts.
#63 - You're still on about that, are you? If I didn't know better, …  [+] (4 new replies) 11/13/2013 on I'd be mad too +3
User avatar #64 - nebuchadnezzaurus (11/13/2013) [-]
You just like Hitler, don't you?
User avatar #65 - captainfuckitall (11/13/2013) [-]
So, you seek me out in order to try and sway favour away from my comments by involving previous comments that had nothing to do with the current subject, then when I tell you why you are incorrect in these statements and why my claims were justified, you completely ignore them and go straight to making me seem like the bad guy.

Cute.

As a matter of fact, yes I do like Hitler. I think he was a good person who tried to do his best for his people and just didn't quite know how to; I think if he had better advisers or judgement, he could have been one of the worlds greatest beneficiaries.

Than again, you already knew this, didn't you? Because I told you so before. You're only asking it here because you want me to admit it in order to be justified when you next insult me, or do anything else that would involve as little work as possible and you still coming out on top.
#71 - nebuchadnezzaurus (11/13/2013) [-]
User avatar #72 - captainfuckitall (11/13/2013) [-]
I'm not mad or upset in the slightest, I am mearly pointing out facts.
#58 - I'm not sure what you mean. In Mien Kampf (I haven't read it i…  [+] (6 new replies) 11/13/2013 on I'd be mad too 0
User avatar #61 - nebuchadnezzaurus (11/13/2013) [-]
I was referring to that time you said Hitler was not racist
User avatar #63 - captainfuckitall (11/13/2013) [-]
You're still on about that, are you? If I didn't know better, I'd assume you were infatuated with me by your constant attempts at seeking me out.

In any case, to explain myself, I do not consider Hitler a racist, because, as I even showed YOU, he did not hate people based upon skin colour. He employed numerous different races of Nazi's, including Black, Jewish, and Homosexual Nazi's, and even gave some of them high praise and personal honours. What Hitler was is defined as "Anti-semetic", which (although the reason for it escapes me) is not the same as sheer Racism.
User avatar #64 - nebuchadnezzaurus (11/13/2013) [-]
You just like Hitler, don't you?
User avatar #65 - captainfuckitall (11/13/2013) [-]
So, you seek me out in order to try and sway favour away from my comments by involving previous comments that had nothing to do with the current subject, then when I tell you why you are incorrect in these statements and why my claims were justified, you completely ignore them and go straight to making me seem like the bad guy.

Cute.

As a matter of fact, yes I do like Hitler. I think he was a good person who tried to do his best for his people and just didn't quite know how to; I think if he had better advisers or judgement, he could have been one of the worlds greatest beneficiaries.

Than again, you already knew this, didn't you? Because I told you so before. You're only asking it here because you want me to admit it in order to be justified when you next insult me, or do anything else that would involve as little work as possible and you still coming out on top.
#71 - nebuchadnezzaurus (11/13/2013) [-]
User avatar #72 - captainfuckitall (11/13/2013) [-]
I'm not mad or upset in the slightest, I am mearly pointing out facts.
#39 - She did get in trouble, actually. 11/13/2013 on Girls don't fart +14
#105 - Oh. I see. You're one of 'those' posters. Nevermind then, enjo…  [+] (1 new reply) 11/13/2013 on every tumblr story ever -1
#106 - phax (11/13/2013) [-]
yep, more red thumbs the better
#103 - We mostly post Tumblr because we're laughing at them, not with…  [+] (3 new replies) 11/13/2013 on every tumblr story ever 0
#104 - phax (11/13/2013) [-]
No it's just because this whole site is gay and fucking sucks
User avatar #105 - captainfuckitall (11/13/2013) [-]
Oh. I see. You're one of 'those' posters. Nevermind then, enjoy your own comments.
#106 - phax (11/13/2013) [-]
yep, more red thumbs the better
#47 - I didn't say he didn't believe he should work, all of them did… 11/13/2013 on I'd be mad too +2
#5 - Who says it's not? 11/13/2013 on Doesn't afraid of anything +1

Comments(483):

[ 483 comments ]

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Per page:
Order:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #490 - commencingfailure (09/30/2014) [-]
******* retard compares the IS to today's feminists. One could say ignorance is an everspreading cancer, you did your job to increase the spread.
User avatar #491 to #490 - captainfuckitall (09/30/2014) [-]
You seem REALLY mad, friend. Perhaps you should calm down and take some ass ointment before you need to see a doctor
User avatar #489 - myfourthaccount (07/18/2014) [-]
dude, you're like my most favorite person on earth right now haha
User avatar #487 - imvlad (05/04/2014) [-]
you brought shame to your house
User avatar #483 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Have you by chance had an older account here before?
User avatar #484 to #483 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was deleted for some reason I never found, so I just made another.
#485 to #484 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 to #485 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no ******* mates, Dave".
User avatar #481 - iforgotmyothername (03/20/2014) [-]
you are one cool tempered potato compared to me, bringing my fury upon your wrongness. i salute you, and thumbed up all your comments in the a capella debate.
User avatar #482 to #481 - captainfuckitall (03/20/2014) [-]
It's alright, I apologize for making you upset, but you don't need to thumb my posts up. Thumbs are a way to express positivity or negativity toward any type of comments; if you do not like them, it is perfectly within your right to thumb them down.
User avatar #474 - aherorising (11/20/2013) [-]
you're a really cool bro
#471 - shiifter (10/06/2013) [-]
This still makes me giggle.

Oh and by the way, i never actually thumbed you down. I just said that i did.
User avatar #472 to #471 - captainfuckitall (10/06/2013) [-]
The thing is, the way I found OUT you gave me those thumbs was because of the question mark, which allows people to see who voted on content. I could only KNOW it was you if you had thumbed them down, which you did.

And now you not only prove to be an idiot, but a liar as well.
#473 to #472 - shiifter (10/12/2013) [-]
Wait? You still remembered that? That's hilarious.

By the way, i screencapped this. it's like a trophy.
User avatar #468 - satrenkotheone (09/22/2013) [-]
I would just like to say thank you.
#466 - xxxsonic fanxxx (08/25/2013) [-]
Due to your pointlessly rude comment on the post "Jesus ain't got time for **** ",

I have gone through 20 of your previous comments and thumbed them all down.

You're also a stupid, unfunny, tryhard feelfag. Exactly the kind of user that this site is infamous for.
User avatar #467 to #466 - captainfuckitall (08/25/2013) [-]
I wasn't pointlessly rude. If you read it more carefully, you would find I am not insulting your god or faith, but rather, the people who spread it about; and even they are just doing it to themselves, while I am mearly making an observation

It's ironic you call me tryhard, considering you just went through the time to thumb-down my last 20 comments as if it would have any effect on me personally or my ranking here. It's also odd you call me stupid, considering you were the one who read it uncorrectly. And I think the fact I have so many comment thumbs anyways (including my own jesus comment) speaks to the point that I am, in fact, quite hilarious. "Feelfag", is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone who is passionate about certain things? If so, then I take pride in it, as it is only through passion that things grow.

Considering you are pretentious, arrogant, immature, and without a sense of humour; you fit the criteria for '12 year old funnyjunker' far better than I do.
#463 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.   
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.   
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.   
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
User avatar #464 to #463 - captainfuckitall (07/16/2013) [-]
You are just a wonderful person, you know that? Thank you very much for your kind words and appreciation, and I'm glad you have made an account and made many friends here, including myself
#465 to #464 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
You're welcome, good sir.
You're welcome, good sir.
User avatar #461 - potgardener (06/01/2013) [-]
youre pretty ****** in the head if beating a kid is a good idea, parents would need to hit their kids if they taught them what was right and wrong from the beginning
User avatar #462 to #461 - captainfuckitall (06/01/2013) [-]
It's ironic how you talk about avoiding situations, when your very comment isn't needed considering I already explained, about five times now, that I do not mean you must 'abuse' your children in order to get good results. My comment, and all the comments afterwards, were about how when compassion and support fails you must turn to punishment and discipline, including simply smacking your kid upside the head

Perhaps you should read more and get better informed before jumping to opinions, yes?
#459 - bossdelainternet (05/11/2013) [-]
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest  threads i've seen this year.   
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...   
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest threads i've seen this year.
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
User avatar #460 to #459 - captainfuckitall (05/11/2013) [-]
I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult

I choose the former

Thank you, good sir
#453 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
I just thought I'd let you know that I just did an awful thing and quoted your majestic deep words of death wisdom onto my facebook. I gave you credit, but as part of my shame for stealing I thought I'd tell you. That was honestly one of the best things I've ever read.

Which is also why I screencapped it. Don't worry I swear I'm not going to try to get to frontpage with it I just wanted to save it.
User avatar #454 to #453 - captainfuckitall (11/12/2012) [-]
Not at all, I am not concerned with thumbs in the least. If you would like to post it, by all means do so, if you'd like to take credit, do so as well; I care not for material value or fame, as long as comprehend and understand the message
#455 to #454 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
Oh man you just keep getting better:)    
   
But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
Oh man you just keep getting better:)

But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
#449 - captainspankmonkey (02/27/2012) [-]
Internet problems
That is why :P
User avatar #450 to #460 - captainfuckitall (02/27/2012) [-]
ahhh, haha, sorry then :P
#447 - xxxsonic fanxxx (09/26/2011) [-]
you're a lovely person
User avatar #448 to #458 - captainfuckitall (09/26/2011) [-]
awe, thank you, kind stranger :3

that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :D
[ 483 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)