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captainfuckitall

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Date Signed Up:4/12/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#9145
Comment Ranking:#1510
Highest Content Rank:#9146
Highest Comment Rank:#49
Content Thumbs: 42 total,  99 ,  57
Comment Thumbs: 58428 total,  71811 ,  13383
Content Level Progress: 77.96% (46/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 92% (920/1000)
Level 352 Comments: Knight Of Funnyjunk → Level 353 Comments: Knight Of Funnyjunk
Subscribers:22
Content Views:10883
Times Content Favorited:13 times
Total Comments Made:16774
FJ Points:25152

latest user's comments

#52 - Picture 04/22/2014 on How heartwarming... +2
#3 - "No fall damage" What kind of ******* …  [+] (3 new replies) 04/22/2014 on Like a Cat +46
User avatar #44 - enigmaticspirit (04/23/2014) [-]
Earth Defense Force
#34 - Ken M (04/23/2014) [-]
Solitaire sometimes
#17 - Ken M (04/23/2014) [-]
Yahtzee
#14 - Don't they take that form before they attack?...  [+] (1 new reply) 04/22/2014 on Looking all seductive like 0
User avatar #35 - HardyUndertook (04/23/2014) [-]
great now i need a picture of that praying mantis with the quote "this isn't even my final form"
#21 - >Implying hiring a cat isn't the best business based decisi… 04/22/2014 on Mr. Cat. +1
#56 - Just appreciate the free wine, man. 04/22/2014 on Truth 0
#25 - As much as I may get hate for this, I really don't understand …  [+] (5 new replies) 04/22/2014 on Corn Dogs -2
#29 - Ken M (04/23/2014) [-]
You don't understand human nature.
Marriage for instance, is a bond of mutual possession.
But such possessions are only worth something if you are the only one allowed the usage.
So cheating destroys the value of that, and therefore it is not respected, in fact very much hated.
User avatar #50 - captainfuckitall (04/23/2014) [-]
I do understand human nature, and Silver Quantum is right in that we are not monogamous by nature and that we are SUPPOSED to breed with as many people as possible, which is why marriage is such a special thing when it's only the two of them.
#28 - Norulister (04/22/2014) [-]
My ex cheated on me for no reason. I made sure she was satisfied, and treated her as well as I could. She seemed absolutely faithful, so it came to me as a surprise. Kicked that bitch out as soon as I knew. Just goes to show that no matter how good you treat a girl, you'll never know if she'll stab you in the back.
User avatar #51 - captainfuckitall (04/23/2014) [-]
I'm sorry to hear that, friend. But it is better that it happened sooner than later.
User avatar #32 - Silver Quantum (04/23/2014) [-]
the human race by nature is not a monogamous species. we are genetically programmed to procreate with as many people as possible. it's our moral compass that stops us from doing it though.
#28 - So did I. 04/22/2014 on neat 0
#83 - Great idea except for the fact that it would take months to co… 04/22/2014 on Why are we not funding this 0
#16 - My dad asked me if I was gay when I said I liked Coldplay. I d…  [+] (3 new replies) 04/22/2014 on greatest hits +4
#40 - fuckyosixtyminutes (04/23/2014) [-]
he trollin u
User avatar #25 - kinginyellow (04/23/2014) [-]
Well I like coldplay, if that helps. Haven't found myself very fond of dick these past years.
#66 - justanotherblablab (04/23/2014) [-]
It might chance any minute though.
#33 - With a dog it's an accident, with a cat it probably happened o…  [+] (1 new reply) 04/22/2014 on Such regret 0
#45 - dekinjein (04/23/2014) [-]
Do you mean Poopurse ?
#17 - This made me cringe. 04/22/2014 on Snape the baggage man +1
#486 - It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a m… 04/22/2014 on captainfuckitall's profile 0
#484 - Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was delete…  [+] (2 new replies) 04/22/2014 on captainfuckitall's profile 0
#485 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no fucking mates, Dave".
#61 - Okay. 04/22/2014 on Craigslist 0
#19 - I'll have you as a friend, that made me giggle. 04/22/2014 on Friendship Garden 0
#59 - No, that just means YOU'RE stupid, not the idea. If you value …  [+] (2 new replies) 04/22/2014 on Craigslist 0
#60 - BloodyTurds (04/22/2014) [-]
using a laptop wouldn't be very efficient, as it probably wouldn't cover you as well as... lets say an umbrella...

and also i'm not debating the intelligence of a concept (which obviously has no brain, because it doesn't even exist in this world)
and i'm not even calling someone stupid for having the idea.. (hell i had the idea)

I wouldn't even call the person in your example, who values being dry over the price of a new laptop stupid, because atleast they thought about it..

I would call someone stupid for having the idea, and acting upon it without foresight, and weighing potential pros and cons of its implementation... (someone who uses the laptop as an umbrella, gets home, tries to plug it in, and is dumbfounded as to why it wont turn on...)
User avatar #61 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
Okay.
#16 - No it's not, it's me being indifferent. I don't mean I ignore … 04/22/2014 on Friendship Garden -2
#25 - What the **** do you have against teachers? Did some di…  [+] (8 new replies) 04/22/2014 on Why was six afraid of seven? -1
#89 - ReeferTrees (04/24/2014) [-]
Oh so I said I hated every teacher? I don't remember that, but I do remember saying that just because they are a teacher it doesn't mean they above reproach. They are still people and people are selfish, arrogant, cruel and uncaring.

Simply your attitude towards any sort of mention about a teachers misdeeds is enough to show me you have no idea what you are talking about and are just spewing out your ass any sort of excuse you can think of as to why I am wrong.

I have had a couple good teachers, and i've had a few GREAT teachers. But 8 out of 10 teachers I have ever met were obviously not teacher material.

Sitting behind a desk while we all read and to work sheets is NOT teaching, we can do that completely on our own, what the hell are we paying them for? to be a fucking paper dispenser? Pathetic, and so are you for thinking those kinds of people will do ANYTHING good for the future of those kids.
User avatar #90 - captainfuckitall (04/24/2014) [-]
I never said teachers are above reproach either; what I said was that nobody goes into teaching intending to be a dick. 9 times out of 10, it is the fault of the child for earning the ire of the teacher, rather than the teacher just being a dick. Seriously, how could you not realize that?

And yet here you are righteously promoting the idea that they are just as likely to be assholes as any other person on the street when that is simply not true. That would be like saying "Doctors don't really care about saving lives" or "Postal Workers aren't weird at all". Teachers certainly don't become teachers for the wages; they become teachers because they like to TEACH others. I don't need to think of an 'excuse' why you're wrong, you ARE wrong.

Well shit sucks for you, man. Not all teachers I've met have been hunky-dorey either and I even grew to hate some of them, but I still respect them for the effort most of them put into helping people.

That's true, but most teachers I've met don't do that; they get involved and sincerely care over the welfare of their students. Have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe *Gasp* we've met different types of teachers in our lifetime and they're not all the same?!??!? I know that's a hard concept to grasp, but please try. Perhaps you've just met a few crappy ones, or perhaps your own attitude just brings out the worst in them like it brings out the worst of me (which I can completely understand why if they dislike you). But my point still stands. Nobody goes into teaching because they DON'T give a shit about kids.
User avatar #91 - ReeferTrees (04/24/2014) [-]
Hahahahaha, you are terrible at this aren't you?

Many teachers do no care for the children. This is a fact, not only because many are not intent on teaching the children ANYTHING but also because they simply do not have enough time to care. 20 kids in each class, about 4-5 periods a day, that's about 100 kids. Impossible to connect or encourage each of them individually so immediately you are wrong.

Many doctors do not care about saving your life, it's more like they make more money from you when your not dead and the care stops there. They are literal drug dealers, pushing pills to increase their paycheck.

And that concept that I can't grasp about teachers not being the same? totally spot on, I did not, I repeat, DID NOT say these exact words "I have had a couple good teachers, and i've had a few GREAT teachers. But 8 out of 10 teachers I have ever met were obviously not teacher material."

Totally didn't say that, you're right. Amazing thought process you have, truly a marvel.

Please, continue this pointless argument and baffle me with your "wisdom"
User avatar #92 - captainfuckitall (04/24/2014) [-]
Alright, well you're obviously unwilling to listen, which is fine because I'm unwilling to listen too, but communications break down the moment people STOP being willing to communicate.

Whatever, keep on hating teachers and blaming them for why they give you so much shit. I'll go on making good friends with them and learning things like most rational people do.
User avatar #93 - ReeferTrees (04/24/2014) [-]
Your rationality is a joke and you will die young.

You trust too easily, you expect too much, and you assume everything is alright.
User avatar #94 - captainfuckitall (04/24/2014) [-]
It's so obvious that you're still in highschool that it hurts. If you hate teachers that much, just move out, get a job, pay your own bills, and you better do it quickly while you still know everything more than those stupid adults do.
User avatar #95 - ReeferTrees (04/24/2014) [-]
Nice, but no.

I've been working for 8 years now, since I Graduated.

But you still are in school, that much is obvious because you keep arguing all of you opinions while I speak with experience.

You don't actually read anything I type, or if you do you just ignore it. Constantly babbling about how I hate all teachers, you haven't understood a single thing I said.
User avatar #96 - captainfuckitall (04/24/2014) [-]
Sure you have.
#22 - I don't think you'd find anything functioning at Wallmart 04/22/2014 on Why was six afraid of seven? +4
#9 - Well, not every school is a piece of **** like yours, o…  [+] (12 new replies) 04/22/2014 on Why was six afraid of seven? -8
#11 - Ken M (04/22/2014) [-]
Please buy a functioning brain at your local walmart.
User avatar #22 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
I don't think you'd find anything functioning at Wallmart
#10 - ReeferTrees (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh, so sorry. Obviously it's my fault teachers are worthless scum who could only help the students by killing themselves.

Obviously I didn't pay enough taxes as a child to fund my school better, so I can't complain.

I should have showed them the proper way to educate children and how to form a better filing system so they don't keep "losing" all my documents from my old schools showing my grades and credits so I get held back after repeatedly bringing copies in by hand and giving them to the secretaries personally.

I'm so sorry, you're so right, where did I go wrong?
User avatar #25 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
What the fuck do you have against teachers? Did some diddle your privates in the back room or something? Look, some schools are shit, and some teachers are shit, but nobody BECOMES a teacher thinking "Ya! I've hated kids all my life and now I want to mess with them!" so excuse me for giving them the benefit of the doubt in the "Shitty teachers v.s. shitty kids" argument.

Well have you ever considered that you have an attitude problem and that's why you got on your teachers' bad side?

Ah, so it IS a personal vendetta against teachers. I should have figured. Well then why not try to contact your local newspaper and inform them of the incompetence? Why not talk to your parents? Why not organize something among other students who experienced the same thing? Why not use any type of minority status you have in order to gain leverage? Are you telling me it frustrated you enough to make you hate all teachers forever, but not QUITE enough into actually doing anything about it?

No need to be sorry, just DO something about it.
#89 - ReeferTrees (04/24/2014) [-]
Oh so I said I hated every teacher? I don't remember that, but I do remember saying that just because they are a teacher it doesn't mean they above reproach. They are still people and people are selfish, arrogant, cruel and uncaring.

Simply your attitude towards any sort of mention about a teachers misdeeds is enough to show me you have no idea what you are talking about and are just spewing out your ass any sort of excuse you can think of as to why I am wrong.

I have had a couple good teachers, and i've had a few GREAT teachers. But 8 out of 10 teachers I have ever met were obviously not teacher material.

Sitting behind a desk while we all read and to work sheets is NOT teaching, we can do that completely on our own, what the hell are we paying them for? to be a fucking paper dispenser? Pathetic, and so are you for thinking those kinds of people will do ANYTHING good for the future of those kids.
User avatar #90 - captainfuckitall (04/24/2014) [-]
I never said teachers are above reproach either; what I said was that nobody goes into teaching intending to be a dick. 9 times out of 10, it is the fault of the child for earning the ire of the teacher, rather than the teacher just being a dick. Seriously, how could you not realize that?

And yet here you are righteously promoting the idea that they are just as likely to be assholes as any other person on the street when that is simply not true. That would be like saying "Doctors don't really care about saving lives" or "Postal Workers aren't weird at all". Teachers certainly don't become teachers for the wages; they become teachers because they like to TEACH others. I don't need to think of an 'excuse' why you're wrong, you ARE wrong.

Well shit sucks for you, man. Not all teachers I've met have been hunky-dorey either and I even grew to hate some of them, but I still respect them for the effort most of them put into helping people.

That's true, but most teachers I've met don't do that; they get involved and sincerely care over the welfare of their students. Have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe *Gasp* we've met different types of teachers in our lifetime and they're not all the same?!??!? I know that's a hard concept to grasp, but please try. Perhaps you've just met a few crappy ones, or perhaps your own attitude just brings out the worst in them like it brings out the worst of me (which I can completely understand why if they dislike you). But my point still stands. Nobody goes into teaching because they DON'T give a shit about kids.
User avatar #91 - ReeferTrees (04/24/2014) [-]
Hahahahaha, you are terrible at this aren't you?

Many teachers do no care for the children. This is a fact, not only because many are not intent on teaching the children ANYTHING but also because they simply do not have enough time to care. 20 kids in each class, about 4-5 periods a day, that's about 100 kids. Impossible to connect or encourage each of them individually so immediately you are wrong.

Many doctors do not care about saving your life, it's more like they make more money from you when your not dead and the care stops there. They are literal drug dealers, pushing pills to increase their paycheck.

And that concept that I can't grasp about teachers not being the same? totally spot on, I did not, I repeat, DID NOT say these exact words "I have had a couple good teachers, and i've had a few GREAT teachers. But 8 out of 10 teachers I have ever met were obviously not teacher material."

Totally didn't say that, you're right. Amazing thought process you have, truly a marvel.

Please, continue this pointless argument and baffle me with your "wisdom"
User avatar #92 - captainfuckitall (04/24/2014) [-]
Alright, well you're obviously unwilling to listen, which is fine because I'm unwilling to listen too, but communications break down the moment people STOP being willing to communicate.

Whatever, keep on hating teachers and blaming them for why they give you so much shit. I'll go on making good friends with them and learning things like most rational people do.
User avatar #93 - ReeferTrees (04/24/2014) [-]
Your rationality is a joke and you will die young.

You trust too easily, you expect too much, and you assume everything is alright.
User avatar #94 - captainfuckitall (04/24/2014) [-]
It's so obvious that you're still in highschool that it hurts. If you hate teachers that much, just move out, get a job, pay your own bills, and you better do it quickly while you still know everything more than those stupid adults do.
User avatar #95 - ReeferTrees (04/24/2014) [-]
Nice, but no.

I've been working for 8 years now, since I Graduated.

But you still are in school, that much is obvious because you keep arguing all of you opinions while I speak with experience.

You don't actually read anything I type, or if you do you just ignore it. Constantly babbling about how I hate all teachers, you haven't understood a single thing I said.
User avatar #96 - captainfuckitall (04/24/2014) [-]
Sure you have.
#7 - "Have you ever been a patient here?" "No&qu…  [+] (1 new reply) 04/22/2014 on Do you remember? +203
User avatar #21 - ninjaroo (04/22/2014) [-]
Ask while checking, confirm identity with answer.
#95 - I never said he was an academic genius, I just said he was a s… 04/22/2014 on Kanye West sues compass... 0
#8558574 - Picture 04/22/2014 on Autism Board 0
#91 - You don't think he watches the news? You don't think he sees h… 04/22/2014 on Kanye West sues compass... 0
#15 - I said to GAIN muscles at the last part, THAT'S where you eat … 04/22/2014 on high fiber diet 0

Comments(508):

[ 508 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#513 - Ken M (02/16/2015) [-]
I thought I'd waste some time also, and FIX yo' thumbs ;)
#514 to #513 - Ken M (02/16/2015) [-]
Love, luluwho
#505 - thediablo (01/26/2015) [-]
Man, I think I love you
Man, I think I love you
User avatar #506 to #505 - captainfuckitall (01/26/2015) [-]
Haha, where the hell did that come from?
User avatar #507 to #506 - thediablo (01/26/2015) [-]
I saw that kind of argument that you had and I liked not only what you said but the way you said it, I think you did it pretty cool and everything

if you meant the gif it's from Soul Eater
User avatar #508 to #507 - captainfuckitall (01/26/2015) [-]
That's the first time I heard that. Generally, my abrasive and blunt speech drives most people to dislike me, not give me affection. You're a sweetheart, though.

Haha, no, I did not mean the gif.
User avatar #509 to #508 - thediablo (01/26/2015) [-]
I feel the same way about myself, I have to say that if those speeches were used against me I would feel a little bit upset, but you ask for clear answers and sources, and you try to make the other person think before they speak, I like that in general, not just mindless bashing ahaha
User avatar #510 to #509 - captainfuckitall (01/26/2015) [-]
Well I'm certainly glad you can see the good in my speaking skills. Frankly, I do it to get to the point. I hate having my time wasted for any reason, and so I extend that courtesy to others and try not to waste anyone else's time either; which leads me to being very blunt and brutal in my words so that they cannot be confused or misheard. Though I admit I was frustrated in that debate.
User avatar #511 to #510 - thediablo (01/26/2015) [-]
most of them are frustrating anyway

and yeah, it sucks when people start to get offtrack because of a single comment that you used as an example or something, it's proof that they are desperately trying to derail the conversation to their favor
User avatar #512 to #511 - captainfuckitall (01/26/2015) [-]
Oh well. When you get into a debate with someone, the point should be because you are trying to change your own views, not theirs.

If someone doesn't want to believe something, they won't. End of story. You could use all the proof you want to tell someone the colour of the sky is blue, but if they want it to be green, it will be and there's nothing you can do to stop it.

Thus, the only person you should be focused on changing in a debate is yourself, and only do so to get more perspective on the issues important to you.
User avatar #498 - gugek (12/30/2014) [-]
Hey! Good afternoon. I hope the rest of your day is awesome and tomorrow is freaking fantastic!
#492 - miia ONLINE (12/13/2014) [-]
User avatar #494 to #492 - captainfuckitall (12/13/2014) [-]
Well aren't you a sweetheart for helping me get over my fear
#495 to #494 - miia ONLINE (12/13/2014) [-]
im actually about to go to bed but hi
User avatar #499 to #495 - aurumleo (01/08/2015) [-]
Who's the artist? Sauce?
User avatar #500 to #499 - miia ONLINE (01/08/2015) [-]
i dont remember and its too late for me to find out
reverse search it
#501 to #500 - aurumleo (01/08/2015) [-]
I found it! The artist's nukomasu. Thanks, Miia. If it weren't for that image, I won't find it.
User avatar #496 to #495 - captainfuckitall (12/13/2014) [-]
Well don't let me keep you. Hi back, and feel free to continue the conversation any time.
User avatar #503 to #502 - captainfuckitall (01/09/2015) [-]
Hello again.
#504 to #503 - miia ONLINE (01/09/2015) [-]
hello

i am exhausted
User avatar #490 - commencingfailure ONLINE (09/30/2014) [-]
******* retard compares the IS to today's feminists. One could say ignorance is an everspreading cancer, you did your job to increase the spread.
User avatar #491 to #490 - captainfuckitall (09/30/2014) [-]
You seem REALLY mad, friend. Perhaps you should calm down and take some ass ointment before you need to see a doctor
User avatar #489 - myfourthaccount (07/18/2014) [-]
dude, you're like my most favorite person on earth right now haha
User avatar #487 - imvlad (05/04/2014) [-]
you brought shame to your house
User avatar #483 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Have you by chance had an older account here before?
User avatar #484 to #483 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was deleted for some reason I never found, so I just made another.
#485 to #484 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 to #485 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no ******* mates, Dave".
User avatar #481 - iforgotmyothername (03/20/2014) [-]
you are one cool tempered potato compared to me, bringing my fury upon your wrongness. i salute you, and thumbed up all your comments in the a capella debate.
User avatar #482 to #481 - captainfuckitall (03/20/2014) [-]
It's alright, I apologize for making you upset, but you don't need to thumb my posts up. Thumbs are a way to express positivity or negativity toward any type of comments; if you do not like them, it is perfectly within your right to thumb them down.
User avatar #474 - aherorising (11/20/2013) [-]
you're a really cool bro
#471 - shiifter (10/06/2013) [-]
This still makes me giggle.

Oh and by the way, i never actually thumbed you down. I just said that i did.
User avatar #472 to #471 - captainfuckitall (10/06/2013) [-]
The thing is, the way I found OUT you gave me those thumbs was because of the question mark, which allows people to see who voted on content. I could only KNOW it was you if you had thumbed them down, which you did.

And now you not only prove to be an idiot, but a liar as well.
#473 to #472 - shiifter (10/12/2013) [-]
Wait? You still remembered that? That's hilarious.

By the way, i screencapped this. it's like a trophy.
User avatar #468 - satrenkotheone (09/22/2013) [-]
I would just like to say thank you.
#466 - Ken M (08/25/2013) [-]
Due to your pointlessly rude comment on the post "Jesus ain't got time for **** ",

I have gone through 20 of your previous comments and thumbed them all down.

You're also a stupid, unfunny, tryhard feelfag. Exactly the kind of user that this site is infamous for.
User avatar #467 to #466 - captainfuckitall (08/25/2013) [-]
I wasn't pointlessly rude. If you read it more carefully, you would find I am not insulting your god or faith, but rather, the people who spread it about; and even they are just doing it to themselves, while I am mearly making an observation

It's ironic you call me tryhard, considering you just went through the time to thumb-down my last 20 comments as if it would have any effect on me personally or my ranking here. It's also odd you call me stupid, considering you were the one who read it uncorrectly. And I think the fact I have so many comment thumbs anyways (including my own jesus comment) speaks to the point that I am, in fact, quite hilarious. "Feelfag", is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone who is passionate about certain things? If so, then I take pride in it, as it is only through passion that things grow.

Considering you are pretentious, arrogant, immature, and without a sense of humour; you fit the criteria for '12 year old funnyjunker' far better than I do.
#463 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.   
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.   
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.   
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
User avatar #464 to #463 - captainfuckitall (07/16/2013) [-]
You are just a wonderful person, you know that? Thank you very much for your kind words and appreciation, and I'm glad you have made an account and made many friends here, including myself
#465 to #464 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
You're welcome, good sir.
You're welcome, good sir.
[ 508 comments ]
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