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captainfuckitall

Rank #348 on Comments
captainfuckitall Avatar Level 349 Comments: Sold Soul
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Last status update:
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Personal Info
Date Signed Up:4/12/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#348
Highest Content Rank:#10530
Highest Comment Rank:#49
Content Thumbs: 34 total,  90 ,  56
Comment Thumbs: 53573 total,  65458 ,  11885
Content Level Progress: 66.1% (39/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 40.6% (406/1000)
Level 349 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 350 Comments: Knight Of Funnyjunk
Subscribers:22
Content Views:9755
Times Content Favorited:12 times
Total Comments Made:15584
FJ Points:21631

latest user's comments

#49 - I like the content of the Atheism channel. Not because any of … 01/18/2014 on Description +3
#56 - He's actually not THAT short. He IS shorter than the average m…  [+] (1 new reply) 01/18/2014 on Tumblr (3) +3
User avatar #117 - commontroll (01/18/2014) [-]
She's 5'10". She's 5-6" above average height for women, depending on who's saying what the average height is. I've heard it's 5'4". Sure, she's tall, but he's also fucking tiny.
#3 - Comment deleted 01/17/2014 on fox and the hound 0
#6 - And yet it does not make my statement any less valid!  [+] (1 new reply) 01/17/2014 on do u even flirt? -15
User avatar #8 - yunoavailable (01/17/2014) [-]
it looks way sexier in m[normal][normal]otion than one badly timed screenshot
#9 - Amusing-Junk  [+] (1 new reply) 01/17/2014 on I Heart Adam Peterson +12
User avatar #31 - heartlessrobot (01/17/2014) [-]
Most of it isn't even amusing any more.
Mediocre Junk.
#8 - The funny thing is, there are some people who will actually be… 01/17/2014 on I still blame the art school 0
#4 - That's...not even sexy. At all, actually. It just looks like s…  [+] (11 new replies) 01/17/2014 on do u even flirt? +11
#44 - anisbanana (01/17/2014) [-]
found the faggot
User avatar #46 - zeroqp (01/17/2014) [-]
So did I. Let people have opinions without calling them a faggot, faggot.
#49 - anisbanana (01/17/2014) [-]
He's making fun of her, why can't I say my opinion?
User avatar #51 - zeroqp (01/17/2014) [-]
What opinion did you get across? All you did was name-call him without him doing anything wrong, so you could get thumbs. Also, he wasn't making fun of her, he was describing why that particular instance of her is unattractive. Why would you care about her anyway?
#54 - anisbanana (01/17/2014) [-]
I think he is a faggot because he thinks that girl is unattractive. That is my opinion. No wonder all of you faggots will remain virgins for the rest of your life. You are the 1% i guess.

Btw I don't give a shit if you downvote me, you think I give a flying fuck about internet points?
User avatar #57 - zeroqp (01/17/2014) [-]
>saying you don't care about "internet points".
>writes the intelligent comment "found the faggot" on FunnyJunk.

kk bro. Just keep talking smack.
#68 - anisbanana (01/17/2014) [-]
hhahaha god your so stupid it hurts

how is me putting an unpopular opinion going to get me your precious green dildoes?

kkkkkkk
User avatar #5 - SaucyBoy (01/17/2014) [-]
It's a screenshot you boner
#13 - slias (01/17/2014) [-]
Snapshot.
User avatar #6 - captainfuckitall (01/17/2014) [-]
And yet it does not make my statement any less valid!
User avatar #8 - yunoavailable (01/17/2014) [-]
it looks way sexier in m[normal][normal]otion than one badly timed screenshot
#10 - "And here we say every joke by Ellen since she came out!" 01/17/2014 on hey guys +10
#112135 - So don't. You can stay up for 11 days before actually collapsi…  [+] (1 new reply) 01/16/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#112136 - theriddleox (01/16/2014) [-]
i have to go to school now and its going to suck cuz i have to be awake all day until i can coem home and pass out, thats what im going to do when i get home, i didnt know that longest i ever stay up was i think like 3 days straight and then i slept for a whole 28 hours, i told my parents and yeah im 18 and i could make that appointment but there going to do it when im at school, i always have to hear something when i go to sleep, like music or some tv show, thats what i been doing for weeks and tonight i didnt listen to anything i just turned off the computer and tryed to go to sleep, thanks man, im still kinda freaked out but i think ill be okay,
#112133 - Inform actual professionals. Take your money out of t… 01/16/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#112132 - You're putting way too much thought into this. If you see her …  [+] (1 new reply) 01/16/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
User avatar #112649 - iliekcereal (01/18/2014) [-]
Thank you so much. Sorry it took me so long to reply (I've been too busy to stay on fj for too long), that was exactly what I needed to read.
#112131 - Simple, by staying on task. You train your concentration and p… 01/16/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#112128 - I'm not tech-savvy myself, but I feel like this question would…  [+] (1 new reply) 01/16/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
User avatar #112188 - ferrettamer (01/16/2014) [-]
I planned on asking /g/ but I grew lazy. If I go to Best Buy or any place like that, they will try and sell me Windows 8, so no.
#112126 - So break up for now and then get back together when you can be… 01/16/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#112125 - You're probably suffering from Sleep Paralysis. I would sugges…  [+] (3 new replies) 01/16/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#112134 - theriddleox (01/16/2014) [-]
its really hard to explain the feeling i had in my head, but i have woke up befor like this but i never shaked like that befor, i thought i was having night terrors, its happened befor where i couldnt move my body and my eyes were wide open and i couldnt move, but i never shaked like that befor, i was in fear for my life, now i have this head ache and im scared to go back to sleep
User avatar #112135 - captainfuckitall (01/16/2014) [-]
So don't. You can stay up for 11 days before actually collapsing, and 3-4 before suffering any negative affects besides exhaustion. Wait until you can make an appointment with your doctor, then do so. Until then, look up what it is and things you can do about it. If all else fails, sleep with all your comforts: Lights on, teddybears, music, even sleeping with your parents, anything you can do to give yourself comfort and help you relax.
#112136 - theriddleox (01/16/2014) [-]
i have to go to school now and its going to suck cuz i have to be awake all day until i can coem home and pass out, thats what im going to do when i get home, i didnt know that longest i ever stay up was i think like 3 days straight and then i slept for a whole 28 hours, i told my parents and yeah im 18 and i could make that appointment but there going to do it when im at school, i always have to hear something when i go to sleep, like music or some tv show, thats what i been doing for weeks and tonight i didnt listen to anything i just turned off the computer and tryed to go to sleep, thanks man, im still kinda freaked out but i think ill be okay,
#112124 - Ya, move on. She is OBVIOUSLY aware of your feelings, unless s… 01/16/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#112123 - Okay? Did you just want to complain or are you wondering what … 01/16/2014 on Advice - love advice,... 0
#43 - Tesla. Tesla was Asexual, Einstein was not. 01/16/2014 on Relativity 0
#5 - **** YEAH! MECHASSAULT! 01/15/2014 on MechaCat 2.0 +3
#16 - Ugh, I know right? How DARE he find her sexy! It's always so a… 01/15/2014 on SUMMONING SUNSET +8
#7 - I still remember the phone number my parents had when I was 6.… 01/15/2014 on how the fuck? -1
#8 - So post to **** and prove it. Don't be a whore wh… 01/15/2014 on women 0
#5 - It's actually not that hard to flirt once you get into it. You… 01/15/2014 on how to get women 0
#10 - I don't like Jennifer Lawrence. I used to think she was okay, …  [+] (3 new replies) 01/15/2014 on Jennifer Lawrence's dream job. +22
#72 - anonymous (01/15/2014) [-]
In short, she is just another hypocrite Hollywood cunt who wants attention. And her manager sure does a good job.
#45 - holmesc (01/15/2014) [-]
User avatar #17 - calawesome (01/15/2014) [-]
plus her face never moves when she 'acts'.
#12 - It's funny, because Einstein was apparently an absolute beast …  [+] (8 new replies) 01/15/2014 on Relativity 0
User avatar #42 - pulluspardus (01/15/2014) [-]
I also heard that he was a virgin and never got married or was that Tesla?
User avatar #43 - captainfuckitall (01/16/2014) [-]
Tesla. Tesla was Asexual, Einstein was not.
#15 - MrMarioman (01/15/2014) [-]
Someone got lucky with Einstein.
#38 - murphyslawtesties (01/15/2014) [-]
Pretty much everytime i see this
User avatar #30 - riathewolf (01/15/2014) [-]
I've been seeing this all over the place, what is it?
User avatar #32 - garaichu (01/15/2014) [-]
The series is named Wakfu
#33 - riathewolf (01/15/2014) [-]

Comments(489):

[ 489 comments ]

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #494 to #492 - captainfuckitall (12/13/2014) [-]
Well aren't you a sweetheart for helping me get over my fear
#495 to #494 - miia (12/13/2014) [-]
im actually about to go to bed but hi
User avatar #496 to #495 - captainfuckitall (12/13/2014) [-]
Well don't let me keep you. Hi back, and feel free to continue the conversation any time.
User avatar #490 - commencingfailure (09/30/2014) [-]
******* retard compares the IS to today's feminists. One could say ignorance is an everspreading cancer, you did your job to increase the spread.
User avatar #491 to #490 - captainfuckitall (09/30/2014) [-]
You seem REALLY mad, friend. Perhaps you should calm down and take some ass ointment before you need to see a doctor
User avatar #489 - myfourthaccount (07/18/2014) [-]
dude, you're like my most favorite person on earth right now haha
User avatar #487 - imvlad (05/04/2014) [-]
you brought shame to your house
User avatar #483 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Have you by chance had an older account here before?
User avatar #484 to #483 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was deleted for some reason I never found, so I just made another.
#485 to #484 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 to #485 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no ******* mates, Dave".
User avatar #481 - iforgotmyothername (03/20/2014) [-]
you are one cool tempered potato compared to me, bringing my fury upon your wrongness. i salute you, and thumbed up all your comments in the a capella debate.
User avatar #482 to #481 - captainfuckitall (03/20/2014) [-]
It's alright, I apologize for making you upset, but you don't need to thumb my posts up. Thumbs are a way to express positivity or negativity toward any type of comments; if you do not like them, it is perfectly within your right to thumb them down.
User avatar #474 - aherorising (11/20/2013) [-]
you're a really cool bro
#471 - shiifter (10/06/2013) [-]
This still makes me giggle.

Oh and by the way, i never actually thumbed you down. I just said that i did.
User avatar #472 to #471 - captainfuckitall (10/06/2013) [-]
The thing is, the way I found OUT you gave me those thumbs was because of the question mark, which allows people to see who voted on content. I could only KNOW it was you if you had thumbed them down, which you did.

And now you not only prove to be an idiot, but a liar as well.
#473 to #472 - shiifter (10/12/2013) [-]
Wait? You still remembered that? That's hilarious.

By the way, i screencapped this. it's like a trophy.
User avatar #468 - satrenkotheone ONLINE (09/22/2013) [-]
I would just like to say thank you.
#466 - anonymous (08/25/2013) [-]
Due to your pointlessly rude comment on the post "Jesus ain't got time for **** ",

I have gone through 20 of your previous comments and thumbed them all down.

You're also a stupid, unfunny, tryhard feelfag. Exactly the kind of user that this site is infamous for.
User avatar #467 to #466 - captainfuckitall (08/25/2013) [-]
I wasn't pointlessly rude. If you read it more carefully, you would find I am not insulting your god or faith, but rather, the people who spread it about; and even they are just doing it to themselves, while I am mearly making an observation

It's ironic you call me tryhard, considering you just went through the time to thumb-down my last 20 comments as if it would have any effect on me personally or my ranking here. It's also odd you call me stupid, considering you were the one who read it uncorrectly. And I think the fact I have so many comment thumbs anyways (including my own jesus comment) speaks to the point that I am, in fact, quite hilarious. "Feelfag", is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone who is passionate about certain things? If so, then I take pride in it, as it is only through passion that things grow.

Considering you are pretentious, arrogant, immature, and without a sense of humour; you fit the criteria for '12 year old funnyjunker' far better than I do.
#463 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.   
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.   
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.   
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
User avatar #464 to #463 - captainfuckitall (07/16/2013) [-]
You are just a wonderful person, you know that? Thank you very much for your kind words and appreciation, and I'm glad you have made an account and made many friends here, including myself
#465 to #464 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
You're welcome, good sir.
You're welcome, good sir.
User avatar #461 - potgardener (06/01/2013) [-]
youre pretty ****** in the head if beating a kid is a good idea, parents would need to hit their kids if they taught them what was right and wrong from the beginning
User avatar #462 to #461 - captainfuckitall (06/01/2013) [-]
It's ironic how you talk about avoiding situations, when your very comment isn't needed considering I already explained, about five times now, that I do not mean you must 'abuse' your children in order to get good results. My comment, and all the comments afterwards, were about how when compassion and support fails you must turn to punishment and discipline, including simply smacking your kid upside the head

Perhaps you should read more and get better informed before jumping to opinions, yes?
#459 - bossdelainternet (05/11/2013) [-]
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest  threads i've seen this year.   
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...   
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest threads i've seen this year.
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
User avatar #460 to #459 - captainfuckitall (05/11/2013) [-]
I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult

I choose the former

Thank you, good sir
#453 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
I just thought I'd let you know that I just did an awful thing and quoted your majestic deep words of death wisdom onto my facebook. I gave you credit, but as part of my shame for stealing I thought I'd tell you. That was honestly one of the best things I've ever read.

Which is also why I screencapped it. Don't worry I swear I'm not going to try to get to frontpage with it I just wanted to save it.
User avatar #454 to #453 - captainfuckitall (11/12/2012) [-]
Not at all, I am not concerned with thumbs in the least. If you would like to post it, by all means do so, if you'd like to take credit, do so as well; I care not for material value or fame, as long as comprehend and understand the message
#455 to #454 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
Oh man you just keep getting better:)    
   
But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
Oh man you just keep getting better:)

But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
#449 - captainspankmonkey (02/27/2012) [-]
Internet problems
That is why :P
User avatar #450 to #460 - captainfuckitall (02/27/2012) [-]
ahhh, haha, sorry then :P
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