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captainfuckitall    

Rank #231 on Comments
captainfuckitall Avatar Level 347 Comments: Sold Soul
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Personal Info
Date Signed Up:4/12/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#231
Highest Content Rank:#10530
Highest Comment Rank:#49
Content Thumbs: 34 total,  90 ,  56
Comment Thumbs: 50315 total,  61487 ,  11172
Content Level Progress: 66.1% (39/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 17.19% (172/1000)
Level 347 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 348 Comments: Sold Soul
Subscribers:21
Content Views:9693
Times Content Favorited:12 times
Total Comments Made:14942
FJ Points:19397

latest user's comments

#7 - Ha, you think that's good? I can do an advanced rectangle star… 11/23/2013 on The smartest of the smart -1
#12 - It absolutely can, it just depends on the general consensus of… 11/22/2013 on Tumblr- Poem Battle? -4
#8 - She was not barred for saying Vagina, she was barred for imply…  [+] (6 new replies) 11/22/2013 on Vagina Vagina Vagina +53
User avatar #20 - Relinies (11/23/2013) [-]
I swear, this EXACT comment appeared on this content just a few weeks ago.
I'm starting to doubt whether what I saw is true or not.
User avatar #21 - captainfuckitall (11/23/2013) [-]
If it makes you feel any better, I get cases of Deja Vu all the time.
User avatar #22 - Relinies (11/23/2013) [-]
I can believe it.
I'm pretty sure what we're seeing all the time isn't actually reposts, but the inconsistent flow of time that Funnyjunk goes through.
User avatar #14 - herremu (11/23/2013) [-]
Although this show is primarily a comedy oriented show, but I see where you are coming from.
User avatar #12 - cutiepyro (11/23/2013) [-]
or she said it, regretted it, prepare for the consequences, and everyone else decided to put on their potato hats
User avatar #13 - captainfuckitall (11/23/2013) [-]
Regretting it and apologizing doesn't make up for what was said. If she is throwing out accusations, even suggestions like that, she SHOULD be bared from the argument.

Furthermore, Occam's Razor suggests that the path with the least assumptions is closest to the truth, and mine has less than yours does.
#8 - Well...no. Not really. It's a measure of standards an…  [+] (9 new replies) 11/22/2013 on Tumblr- Poem Battle? -6
User avatar #23 - metalnettle (11/23/2013) [-]
Found the virgin. But seriously, you think any kind of consensual sex is degrading and means you have low standards? Well shit, if that was the case then everyone should just kill themselves for falling into the trap of human nature.
User avatar #25 - captainfuckitall (11/23/2013) [-]
Seriously? I wasn't aware we were 15 again.

No, I didn't say "Any kind of consensual sex is degrading", I said "if you sleep with anyone", as in, literally anyone, because you have low standards, it literally means you have low standards. Get it?

Furthermore, nobody should kill themselves for "falling into the trap of human nature", but people SHOULD have standards and self control. What the fuck is wrong with you people? On one post you degrade fat people for eating so much, than say sleeping with every tom, dick, and harry is perfectly fine and "YOU GO, GIRL AND/OR BOY!"

It's either ALL okay, or NONE of it is; any form of compromising your principles is hypocritical.
User avatar #27 - metalnettle (11/23/2013) [-]
It was a joke.

'Standards' are completely subjective. You can't tell someone they have low standards, if they like sex with multiple people. It's personal preference, maybe they believe they are in love with everyone they have sex with idk. I believe it's not my place to judge. Unless people are obviously being taken advantage of, others should not get involved. In regard to fat people, everyone on this site is a singular person, I don't personally shame fat people. It's stupid to assume that every single member of this site shares the same views, people see contradictions because it's different people with different points of view posting different comments.
User avatar #28 - captainfuckitall (11/23/2013) [-]
Standards are not subjective, "The meaning of life" is subjective, "Friendship and true love" is subjective. Standards literally mean just that, that you only take something of a certain quality. Yes I can; the same way a critic can judge whether food or a movie is bad, and in the same way that very critic can be a bad critic if he himself has low standards. It is everyone's place to judge, because as a good gentleman said below, judging and approving or disapproving is how you build up your own opinions and preferences, what you do is choose NOT to be vocal about it, which is perfectly within your right. Oh? So "Standards" is subjective, but you believe you can tell when someone is being taken advantage of in an objective view? I don't assume every single member of this site shares the same views, however, it is obvious that Funnyjunk has a bit of a problem with the band-wagon, and it DOES affect everyone whether they know it or not.
User avatar #117 - alexjaeger (11/23/2013) [-]
To a degree I agree with you, standard's in today's society keep being lowered and a lot of people seem to justify it by saying standards are subjective. I guess ethics are subjective but standards aren't, or well at least that's what I think.
User avatar #10 - adu (11/22/2013) [-]
That implies that a "standard" could ever be objective, which it can't. The only universal problem with fucking a different guy every day and eating McDonalds every day is the obvious health concerns. Granted, I still find both absolutely disgusting, but that in itself doesn't give me the right to judge them. I also find gay sex disgusting, but that gives me no right to disrespect people.
User avatar #24 - mylazy (11/23/2013) [-]
See, I only half agree. The part I disagree with is the part where we have no right to judge. I think we have a responsibility to judge everyone we meet. Now, this isn't to say that we condemn anyone for what they do, disrespect their beliefs, etc. But judging someone does not require that to happen. Merely by disapproving inwardly what someone else is doing, you are judging. You have a right to do that, and you must do that to determine your own opinions on subjects as well as determine who you want to hang out with, etc. You see what I am saying?
User avatar #26 - adu (11/23/2013) [-]
I see what you're saying, and I agree with the message, but really it's just word games. "Judging" someone can have several different connotations. What you're saying though is instead of condemning people, we should just evaluate them, right? That's fine.
User avatar #12 - captainfuckitall (11/22/2013) [-]
It absolutely can, it just depends on the general consensus of the society you are in.

I didn't say there was an inherent problem with it, what I said was that it suggests low standards and low self-worth. Whether or whether not people enjoy doing it, and actively seek to do it, it doesn't change the fact that by definition they have no standards about whom they have sex with.
#40 - And I can't even draw a ******* tree right. 11/22/2013 on This would make the best... -1
#177 - Ya, go live there for two days, then you're gonna miss warmth … 11/22/2013 on treehousing day!! -1
#49 - Then she can tell the police that as well. Usually when you sh… 11/22/2013 on Best App Ever -1
#37 - As far as I know, yes. 11/22/2013 on Mortal Kombat: After The... -1
#17 - These all look like animals I want to box to death. 11/22/2013 on 7 bizarre animals I had... -1
#5 - Aw **** , now I just got the image of the Grudge W… 11/22/2013 on Elephants with grudges... 0
#61 - My favourite part of turning 18 was no longer having to live a… 11/22/2013 on (untitled) -1
#60 - Funnyjunk is the reason the Economy is failing. 11/22/2013 on (untitled) +27
#36 - *They'll Sorry. 11/22/2013 on Best App Ever -1
#35 - Oh please. There are more Victim Centers than there are homele…  [+] (2 new replies) 11/22/2013 on Best App Ever -1
#46 - syntheticdoll has deleted their comment.
User avatar #36 - captainfuckitall (11/22/2013) [-]
*They'll

Sorry.
#13 - That wasn't Sub-Zero, that was Noob Saibot, Sub-Zero's brother…  [+] (3 new replies) 11/22/2013 on Mortal Kombat: After The... +1
User avatar #16 - ultracombo (11/22/2013) [-]
So, just making sure I have this clear.

Noob Saibot is the ORIGINAL Sub-Zero, and his brother the CURRENT Sub-Zero, but after the ORIGINAL Sub-Zero died, he became Noob Saibot. Right?
User avatar #37 - captainfuckitall (11/22/2013) [-]
As far as I know, yes.
User avatar #18 - habakkuk (11/22/2013) [-]
Actually it was a huge conspiracy made up by Shinnok
#33 - As wonderful as this is, I honestly don't think it's gonna be …  [+] (6 new replies) 11/22/2013 on Best App Ever +1
User avatar #47 - syntheticdoll (11/22/2013) [-]
What if the abuser keeps her at his side by saying he will hurt a relative instead of her? Right when he notices she's gone he can just go there and beat up/kill anyone, her sister, parents, grandparents.
User avatar #49 - captainfuckitall (11/22/2013) [-]
Then she can tell the police that as well. Usually when you show people broken bones or bruises someone gave you, people tend to believe that they're a threat and apprehend them right away. If people want to defend and stay with Abusers that's fine by me, but I will give them no sympathy when they get brain damage for it.
User avatar #34 - celaeneo (11/22/2013) [-]
It's not always as easy as just leaving them.
User avatar #35 - captainfuckitall (11/22/2013) [-]
Oh please. There are more Victim Centers than there are homeless shelters, and nearly every single government official would be willing to help you provided you explain the situation to them. The only reason many sufferers do not leave their abusers is because A. "But they're chaaaaaaaaaange!" or B. They're just too scared, and B shouldn't even be an issue with the above mentioned help working for you.
#46 - syntheticdoll has deleted their comment.
User avatar #36 - captainfuckitall (11/22/2013) [-]
*They'll

Sorry.
#30 - I feel like I'm one of the few guys who WOULDN'T suck my own d… 11/22/2013 on Pretty much, yeah +1
#80 - It actually depends on which religion they're featured in. 11/22/2013 on Take a Penny Leave a Penny 0
#92 - So what, he either has to be the biggest asshole he could poss… 11/22/2013 on Red Dead Redemption Moral Code 0
#23 - It happens elsewhere, but only here is it always funny. 11/22/2013 on only in FJ 0
#183 - If you do know, then nobody will. You must make the choice you…  [+] (1 new reply) 11/21/2013 on i think i need a hug 0
User avatar #184 - Kairyuka (11/21/2013) [-]
But no matter what I choose, I can't change how I feel about things. I'm constantly conflicted, but the conflict is that I'm the only one who thinks I'm awesome and that I can reach my dreams. All I'm ever shown is that I'm wrong wrong wrong. So I just don't know any more. I just can't
#181 - That's all well and good, but nobody will always agree with ev…  [+] (3 new replies) 11/21/2013 on i think i need a hug 0
User avatar #182 - Kairyuka (11/21/2013) [-]
The thing is. My principles and my dreams exclude each other. So one is wrong. But which? I honestly don't know.
User avatar #183 - captainfuckitall (11/21/2013) [-]
If you do know, then nobody will. You must make the choice yourself and make it firmly, otherwise you will never grow past this stage.
User avatar #184 - Kairyuka (11/21/2013) [-]
But no matter what I choose, I can't change how I feel about things. I'm constantly conflicted, but the conflict is that I'm the only one who thinks I'm awesome and that I can reach my dreams. All I'm ever shown is that I'm wrong wrong wrong. So I just don't know any more. I just can't
#179 - Perhaps so, but you lack confidence. Everyone gets annoying at…  [+] (5 new replies) 11/21/2013 on i think i need a hug 0
User avatar #180 - Kairyuka (11/21/2013) [-]
And at some point I was. But when everything I'm ever told is that I'm wrong, that I do things wrong, combined with the fact that everyone shows me that I'm wrong, then you kinda lose your faith.
User avatar #181 - captainfuckitall (11/21/2013) [-]
That's all well and good, but nobody will always agree with everything you do, which is why you need to stand by your own principles. Do what you believe to be best, regardless of what others may think. If it doesn't seem to be working, do not necessarily think you are doing wrong, but question WHY it isn't working.

Constantly adopting a new plan every time a single flaw is discovered gains you nothing; there will always be a flaw, true genius and perseverance is about working around them.
User avatar #182 - Kairyuka (11/21/2013) [-]
The thing is. My principles and my dreams exclude each other. So one is wrong. But which? I honestly don't know.
User avatar #183 - captainfuckitall (11/21/2013) [-]
If you do know, then nobody will. You must make the choice yourself and make it firmly, otherwise you will never grow past this stage.
User avatar #184 - Kairyuka (11/21/2013) [-]
But no matter what I choose, I can't change how I feel about things. I'm constantly conflicted, but the conflict is that I'm the only one who thinks I'm awesome and that I can reach my dreams. All I'm ever shown is that I'm wrong wrong wrong. So I just don't know any more. I just can't
#87 - HA!HA! sargentcucumber wants to be a trap but he's too fat! Le…  [+] (1 new reply) 11/21/2013 on why am i getting so many... 0
User avatar #88 - sargentcucumber (11/21/2013) [-]
W-What...?
#35 - Comment deleted  [+] (1 new reply) 11/21/2013 on LOTR 0
#37 - marioauditore Comment deleted by captainfuckitall

Comments(483):

[ 483 comments ]

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #490 - commencingfailure (09/30/2014) [-]
******* retard compares the IS to today's feminists. One could say ignorance is an everspreading cancer, you did your job to increase the spread.
User avatar #491 to #490 - captainfuckitall (09/30/2014) [-]
You seem REALLY mad, friend. Perhaps you should calm down and take some ass ointment before you need to see a doctor
User avatar #489 - myfourthaccount (07/18/2014) [-]
dude, you're like my most favorite person on earth right now haha
User avatar #487 - imvlad (05/04/2014) [-]
you brought shame to your house
User avatar #483 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Have you by chance had an older account here before?
User avatar #484 to #483 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was deleted for some reason I never found, so I just made another.
#485 to #484 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 to #485 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no ******* mates, Dave".
User avatar #481 - iforgotmyothername (03/20/2014) [-]
you are one cool tempered potato compared to me, bringing my fury upon your wrongness. i salute you, and thumbed up all your comments in the a capella debate.
User avatar #482 to #481 - captainfuckitall (03/20/2014) [-]
It's alright, I apologize for making you upset, but you don't need to thumb my posts up. Thumbs are a way to express positivity or negativity toward any type of comments; if you do not like them, it is perfectly within your right to thumb them down.
#480 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
#479 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
#478 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
#477 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
#476 - lolollo ONLINE (03/08/2014) [-]
User avatar #474 - aherorising (11/20/2013) [-]
you're a really cool bro
#471 - shiifter (10/06/2013) [-]
This still makes me giggle.

Oh and by the way, i never actually thumbed you down. I just said that i did.
User avatar #472 to #471 - captainfuckitall (10/06/2013) [-]
The thing is, the way I found OUT you gave me those thumbs was because of the question mark, which allows people to see who voted on content. I could only KNOW it was you if you had thumbed them down, which you did.

And now you not only prove to be an idiot, but a liar as well.
#473 to #472 - shiifter (10/12/2013) [-]
Wait? You still remembered that? That's hilarious.

By the way, i screencapped this. it's like a trophy.
User avatar #468 - satrenkotheone (09/22/2013) [-]
I would just like to say thank you.
#466 - xxxsonic fanxxx (08/25/2013) [-]
Due to your pointlessly rude comment on the post "Jesus ain't got time for **** ",

I have gone through 20 of your previous comments and thumbed them all down.

You're also a stupid, unfunny, tryhard feelfag. Exactly the kind of user that this site is infamous for.
User avatar #467 to #466 - captainfuckitall (08/25/2013) [-]
I wasn't pointlessly rude. If you read it more carefully, you would find I am not insulting your god or faith, but rather, the people who spread it about; and even they are just doing it to themselves, while I am mearly making an observation

It's ironic you call me tryhard, considering you just went through the time to thumb-down my last 20 comments as if it would have any effect on me personally or my ranking here. It's also odd you call me stupid, considering you were the one who read it uncorrectly. And I think the fact I have so many comment thumbs anyways (including my own jesus comment) speaks to the point that I am, in fact, quite hilarious. "Feelfag", is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone who is passionate about certain things? If so, then I take pride in it, as it is only through passion that things grow.

Considering you are pretentious, arrogant, immature, and without a sense of humour; you fit the criteria for '12 year old funnyjunker' far better than I do.
#463 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.   
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.   
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.   
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
User avatar #464 to #463 - captainfuckitall (07/16/2013) [-]
You are just a wonderful person, you know that? Thank you very much for your kind words and appreciation, and I'm glad you have made an account and made many friends here, including myself
#465 to #464 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
You're welcome, good sir.
You're welcome, good sir.
User avatar #461 - potgardener (06/01/2013) [-]
youre pretty ****** in the head if beating a kid is a good idea, parents would need to hit their kids if they taught them what was right and wrong from the beginning
User avatar #462 to #461 - captainfuckitall (06/01/2013) [-]
It's ironic how you talk about avoiding situations, when your very comment isn't needed considering I already explained, about five times now, that I do not mean you must 'abuse' your children in order to get good results. My comment, and all the comments afterwards, were about how when compassion and support fails you must turn to punishment and discipline, including simply smacking your kid upside the head

Perhaps you should read more and get better informed before jumping to opinions, yes?
#459 - bossdelainternet (05/11/2013) [-]
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest  threads i've seen this year.   
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...   
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest threads i've seen this year.
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
User avatar #460 to #459 - captainfuckitall (05/11/2013) [-]
I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult

I choose the former

Thank you, good sir
#453 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
I just thought I'd let you know that I just did an awful thing and quoted your majestic deep words of death wisdom onto my facebook. I gave you credit, but as part of my shame for stealing I thought I'd tell you. That was honestly one of the best things I've ever read.

Which is also why I screencapped it. Don't worry I swear I'm not going to try to get to frontpage with it I just wanted to save it.
User avatar #454 to #453 - captainfuckitall (11/12/2012) [-]
Not at all, I am not concerned with thumbs in the least. If you would like to post it, by all means do so, if you'd like to take credit, do so as well; I care not for material value or fame, as long as comprehend and understand the message
#455 to #454 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
Oh man you just keep getting better:)    
   
But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
Oh man you just keep getting better:)

But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
#449 - captainspankmonkey (02/27/2012) [-]
Internet problems
That is why :P
User avatar #450 to #460 - captainfuckitall (02/27/2012) [-]
ahhh, haha, sorry then :P
#447 - xxxsonic fanxxx (09/26/2011) [-]
you're a lovely person
User avatar #448 to #458 - captainfuckitall (09/26/2011) [-]
awe, thank you, kind stranger :3

that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :D
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