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captainfuckitall    

Rank #437 on Comments
captainfuckitall Avatar Level 342 Comments: Sold Soul
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Personal Info
Date Signed Up:4/12/2010
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#437
Highest Content Rank:#10530
Highest Comment Rank:#49
Content Thumbs: 40 total,  90 ,  50
Comment Thumbs: 43942 total,  54496 ,  10554
Content Level Progress: 76.27% (45/59)
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 52.8% (528/1000)
Level 342 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 343 Comments: Sold Soul
Subscribers:20
Content Views:9646
Times Content Favorited:12 times
Total Comments Made:14141
FJ Points:14758

latest user's comments

#14 - Women think the joke is that everything makes your balls hurt … 05/29/2014 on when do your balls hurt? +6
#3 - >Fascism being worse than Communism ISHYGDDT 05/28/2014 on Understanding the government 0
#30 - Anyone know where this is from?  [+] (1 new reply) 05/28/2014 on Tylosaurus' daily life 0
User avatar #36 - ANONpirate (05/28/2014) [-]
pretty decent doujinshi, story summary is "dude has rare disease, gonna change into a girl overnight, last day with a dick, decides to follow through on a bucket list by cross-dressing and wanking it like a machine with strange objects shoved up his ass"

if you want to read it for yourself, look here. www.hbrowse.com/11795/c00001
#2 - This is exactly like something a 13 year old would write. 05/27/2014 on Dating a scientist +5
#9 - I don't think she took that picture because she wanted people …  [+] (3 new replies) 05/26/2014 on I am a terrible person +139
User avatar #55 - peyko (05/26/2014) [-]
What face?
User avatar #56 - peyko (05/26/2014) [-]
All i see is tits.
#50 - anonymous (05/26/2014) [-]
What do you expect? OP enjoys the company of gentlemen men.
#5 - "That is offensive, you can't be saying that on the stree… 05/26/2014 on Fuck the poor 0
#10 - Actually, technological and scientific advancements gained dur…  [+] (1 new reply) 05/25/2014 on interesting +1
User avatar #13 - whateverdude (05/25/2014) [-]
Aww man, I was gonna say that... Ah well compliments to you good sir!
#3 - I don't even NEED glasses and I thought it was a chicken breast  [+] (1 new reply) 05/25/2014 on Not Wearing My Glasses +62
User avatar #11 - thebaseballexpert (05/25/2014) [-]
then I think you need to get to an optometrist STAT
#31 - WHAT?!?!??  [+] (1 new reply) 05/24/2014 on Galactus 0
#71 - Skeleton princess. Always had a thing for immortality… 05/23/2014 on Choose Wisely +2
#26 - Whenever these fact things pop up, I always hope that someone …  [+] (5 new replies) 05/23/2014 on Galactus 0
#28 - karvarausku (05/23/2014) [-]
**karvarausku rolled image** actually Dr.Doom has been already done.
User avatar #50 - takuaboy (05/24/2014) [-]
And no sauce?.... I am disappoint..
User avatar #31 - captainfuckitall (05/24/2014) [-]
WHAT?!?!??
#95 - 1. It's not that old 2. It's not untrue from what I heard …  [+] (1 new reply) 05/23/2014 on Simpler times 0
User avatar #96 - pokemonstheshiz (05/23/2014) [-]
1. it's pretty old
2. Canadian beer is an exception, usually it's Europeans who make that joke. And if you're going for higher alcoholic content, just drink liquor.
3. I'm not upset, just seeing the same joke every time beer is mentioned is pretty lame IMO
#92 - You seem a little booty bothered, friend  [+] (3 new replies) 05/23/2014 on Simpler times 0
User avatar #95 - captainfuckitall (05/23/2014) [-]
1. It's not that old
2. It's not untrue from what I heard either. Most people I know who have been to both America and Canada say that Canadian beer is much stronger
3. It's obviously good enough to have you get so upset over it, and a joke that makes someone upset is a good one in my book.
User avatar #96 - pokemonstheshiz (05/23/2014) [-]
1. it's pretty old
2. Canadian beer is an exception, usually it's Europeans who make that joke. And if you're going for higher alcoholic content, just drink liquor.
3. I'm not upset, just seeing the same joke every time beer is mentioned is pretty lame IMO
#165 - *financially supported 05/23/2014 on Canadians Gonna Canate 0
#10 - Why take all the trouble of going back in time when you can ju…  [+] (5 new replies) 05/23/2014 on Simpler times +12
User avatar #89 - pokemonstheshiz (05/23/2014) [-]
Why take all the trouble of making an original joke when you can just put a really common and bland one? It's not like there's a difference.
User avatar #92 - captainfuckitall (05/23/2014) [-]
You seem a little booty bothered, friend
User avatar #95 - captainfuckitall (05/23/2014) [-]
1. It's not that old
2. It's not untrue from what I heard either. Most people I know who have been to both America and Canada say that Canadian beer is much stronger
3. It's obviously good enough to have you get so upset over it, and a joke that makes someone upset is a good one in my book.
User avatar #96 - pokemonstheshiz (05/23/2014) [-]
1. it's pretty old
2. Canadian beer is an exception, usually it's Europeans who make that joke. And if you're going for higher alcoholic content, just drink liquor.
3. I'm not upset, just seeing the same joke every time beer is mentioned is pretty lame IMO
#14 - That's because half the people who say they have mental disord…  [+] (1 new reply) 05/23/2014 on Pain +8
User avatar #15 - cumbersome (05/23/2014) [-]
And then the other half are afraid to be honest about it. It's fucked up
#128 - I'm Canadian and I genuinely believe that Canada should promot…  [+] (2 new replies) 05/23/2014 on Canadians Gonna Canate +1
User avatar #163 - danmanjonesnz (05/23/2014) [-]
more support toward the military?

what the fuck, the Canadian military is a piece of shit right now with the political forces they're supporting.
User avatar #165 - captainfuckitall (05/23/2014) [-]
*financially supported
#5 - Ah yes, always good to see some more of Tumblr's perceived opp… 05/22/2014 on hard +1
#2 - I always found the Alphabet really funny, just how they teach …  [+] (1 new reply) 05/22/2014 on t is for therapy 0
#32 - Lookinatstuff (05/23/2014) [-]
B is for Bee?!

Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of the whole 'is for' thing?

B is for banana...
#4 - That's too bad, cause Tom doesn't give a **** . 05/22/2014 on Do you, Anon? 0
#7 - It could have been worse. You could have tried to restart the …  [+] (2 new replies) 05/22/2014 on This actually happened when... +72
#94 - envinite (05/23/2014) [-]
Back when I was in 4th grade, there's this kid who finds a used condom on the street when my class go for a jogging. Needless to say, he thinks it was a balloon and tried to blow the condom but it won't inflate after sometime.

Mfw he says that the balloon tastes sour-ish and smells
Mfw now realizes that the condom is broke and some poor couple out there might have summoned a terrible mistake
#103 - asongulol (05/23/2014) [-]
#3 - Where's this bitch from and where can I get porn of her?  [+] (3 new replies) 05/22/2014 on tinder conversations (2) 0
#4 - montagehd (05/22/2014) [-]
I did some research and it seems her name is "Chaika" and shes in an anime called "Hitsugi no Chaika" Could not find porn of her doe... soz
#5 - anonymous (05/22/2014) [-]
**anonymous rolled image** You clearly don't know about www.rule34.paheal.net
#6 - montagehd (05/22/2014) [-]
I'm very new :c what is rule 34 anon-kun?
#6 - Too weird for the normal, too normal for the weird... 05/22/2014 on My life in a nutshell. +1
#7 - Well both of them (Eddie Brock and Bane) have Olympian level s…  [+] (3 new replies) 05/22/2014 on Villains +7
User avatar #11 - taternutz (05/22/2014) [-]
from a browse through the dc and marvel wikis. Banes strength from the main DC uni can get to lifting about 3 tons if he really pushes it.
EB Venom in the main marvel uni, has been shown trading punches with Juggernaut who is in the 100 ton range.
User avatar #31 - bluerangermartin (05/22/2014) [-]
Venom can lift officially 11 tonnes, but up to 25 is more realistic. Carnage class is 50 ton
User avatar #12 - taternutz (05/22/2014) [-]
though another source seems to put venoms strength more stably at 11-25 tons.
#1 - The real joke is that there are some people who are actually l…  [+] (5 new replies) 05/22/2014 on Ronnie +11
User avatar #12 - blokrokker (05/22/2014) [-]
That emoticon will never be popular.
User avatar #13 - blokrokker (05/22/2014) [-]
Aw shit, wrong reference.
User avatar #9 - deescalation (05/22/2014) [-]
"RUN DENKO!"
User avatar #4 - guywithguitar (05/22/2014) [-]
Fucking Denko's lover.
User avatar #3 - icameheretotroll (05/22/2014) [-]
no
don't remind me of that face
stop

Comments(480):

[ 480 comments ]

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User avatar #487 - imvlad (05/04/2014) [-]
you brought shame to your house
User avatar #483 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Have you by chance had an older account here before?
User avatar #484 to #483 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
Yes I have. My first username was Hiimquinn, but it was deleted for some reason I never found, so I just made another.
#485 to #484 - aerosol (04/22/2014) [-]
Oh. Never mind then. I saw someone call you Dave and I mistook you for someone else.
User avatar #486 to #485 - captainfuckitall (04/22/2014) [-]
It's fine. It was a joke from a picture a while back where a man was looking out the window and saw a dog and his owner walking down the street. The dog barked at another, bigger dog, and his owner just turned and said "See, this is why you have no ******* mates, Dave".
User avatar #481 - iforgotmyothername (03/20/2014) [-]
you are one cool tempered potato compared to me, bringing my fury upon your wrongness. i salute you, and thumbed up all your comments in the a capella debate.
User avatar #482 to #481 - captainfuckitall (03/20/2014) [-]
It's alright, I apologize for making you upset, but you don't need to thumb my posts up. Thumbs are a way to express positivity or negativity toward any type of comments; if you do not like them, it is perfectly within your right to thumb them down.
User avatar #474 - aherorising (11/20/2013) [-]
you're a really cool bro
#471 - shiifter (10/06/2013) [-]
This still makes me giggle.

Oh and by the way, i never actually thumbed you down. I just said that i did.
User avatar #472 to #471 - captainfuckitall (10/06/2013) [-]
The thing is, the way I found OUT you gave me those thumbs was because of the question mark, which allows people to see who voted on content. I could only KNOW it was you if you had thumbed them down, which you did.

And now you not only prove to be an idiot, but a liar as well.
#473 to #472 - shiifter (10/12/2013) [-]
Wait? You still remembered that? That's hilarious.

By the way, i screencapped this. it's like a trophy.
User avatar #468 - satrenkotheone ONLINE (09/22/2013) [-]
I would just like to say thank you.
#466 - anonymous (08/25/2013) [-]
Due to your pointlessly rude comment on the post "Jesus ain't got time for **** ",

I have gone through 20 of your previous comments and thumbed them all down.

You're also a stupid, unfunny, tryhard feelfag. Exactly the kind of user that this site is infamous for.
User avatar #467 to #466 - captainfuckitall (08/25/2013) [-]
I wasn't pointlessly rude. If you read it more carefully, you would find I am not insulting your god or faith, but rather, the people who spread it about; and even they are just doing it to themselves, while I am mearly making an observation

It's ironic you call me tryhard, considering you just went through the time to thumb-down my last 20 comments as if it would have any effect on me personally or my ranking here. It's also odd you call me stupid, considering you were the one who read it uncorrectly. And I think the fact I have so many comment thumbs anyways (including my own jesus comment) speaks to the point that I am, in fact, quite hilarious. "Feelfag", is that supposed to be a derogatory term for someone who is passionate about certain things? If so, then I take pride in it, as it is only through passion that things grow.

Considering you are pretentious, arrogant, ******** , and without a sense of humour; you fit the criteria for '12 year old funnyjunker' far better than I do.
#463 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.   
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.   
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.   
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
Hey, I would just like to say thank you for telling me to get an account.
Yea I know, odd thing to give thanks for when I could have gotten one easily but then again, I was a dumb bastard then and could not think very well.
I notice your comments from time to time and get some good knowledge off of them, mainly the Lovecraft related ones.
But like I said, thank you very much and continue to be awesome.
User avatar #464 to #463 - captainfuckitall (07/16/2013) [-]
You are just a wonderful person, you know that? Thank you very much for your kind words and appreciation, and I'm glad you have made an account and made many friends here, including myself
#465 to #464 - captainspankmonkey (07/16/2013) [-]
You're welcome, good sir.
You're welcome, good sir.
User avatar #461 - potgardener (06/01/2013) [-]
youre pretty ****** in the head if beating a kid is a good idea, parents would need to hit their kids if they taught them what was right and wrong from the beginning
User avatar #462 to #461 - captainfuckitall (06/01/2013) [-]
It's ironic how you talk about avoiding situations, when your very comment isn't needed considering I already explained, about five times now, that I do not mean you must 'abuse' your children in order to get good results. My comment, and all the comments afterwards, were about how when compassion and support fails you must turn to punishment and discipline, including simply smacking your kid upside the head

Perhaps you should read more and get better informed before jumping to opinions, yes?
#459 - bossdelainternet (05/11/2013) [-]
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest  threads i've seen this year.   
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...   
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
I'd just like to say thank you for created one of the funniest threads i've seen this year.
To sum up why i thought it was so funny, a quote...
"Most people would say 'I lost. I give up.', but you, you just keep trying. You're like the Dominican Republic, always killing the guy in charge and saying 'Ah, this new guy, this new guy's gonna get it right!'." - Family Guy
User avatar #460 to #459 - captainfuckitall (05/11/2013) [-]
I'm not sure whether I should take that as a compliment or an insult

I choose the former

Thank you, good sir
#453 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
I just thought I'd let you know that I just did an awful thing and quoted your majestic deep words of death wisdom onto my facebook. I gave you credit, but as part of my shame for stealing I thought I'd tell you. That was honestly one of the best things I've ever read.

Which is also why I screencapped it. Don't worry I swear I'm not going to try to get to frontpage with it I just wanted to save it.
User avatar #454 to #453 - captainfuckitall (11/12/2012) [-]
Not at all, I am not concerned with thumbs in the least. If you would like to post it, by all means do so, if you'd like to take credit, do so as well; I care not for material value or fame, as long as comprehend and understand the message
#455 to #454 - WhattheNorris (11/12/2012) [-]
Oh man you just keep getting better:)    
   
But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
Oh man you just keep getting better:)

But I wouldn't dare steal your credit.
#449 - captainspankmonkey (02/27/2012) [-]
Internet problems
That is why :P
User avatar #450 to #460 - captainfuckitall (02/27/2012) [-]
ahhh, haha, sorry then :P
#447 - anonymous (09/26/2011) [-]
you're a lovely person
User avatar #448 to #458 - captainfuckitall (09/26/2011) [-]
awe, thank you, kind stranger :3

that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :D
#444 - captainspankmonkey (08/22/2011) [-]
Im becoming level 28 soon
User avatar #445 to #454 - captainfuckitall (08/22/2011) [-]
sooooooooooooooooon............
User avatar #446 to #455 - captainspankmonkey (08/22/2011) [-]
very soooooooooooooooooooooon......
#437 - anonymous (07/31/2011) [-]
Lololololol mfw you block me and delete my comment because I expose that you're an ignorant dumbass
User avatar #438 to #447 - captainfuckitall (07/31/2011) [-]
no, i didn't block you because you "exposed that i am an ignorant dumbass". i blocked you because i know who you are, and remembered who you are. you are thebiggestmaggot. you have a (last time i checked) profile picture of an old lady with bouncing tits in a swimsuit. and you are also a nihilist that annoyed the hell out of me last time i talked because you were ignorant, arrogant, and rude, and drove me to a place i don't like going to simply because i do not like people like you. the reason i removed the comment is because 1. it was wrong. 2. you wouldn't have listened if i told you otherwise. and 3. it was Wikipedia, and unreliable source. and, since you are against what i believe, you will logically look for a source that undermines it. and i simply don't have the patience to deal with you

that's why
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