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callmeribs Avatar Level 219 Content: Comedic Genius
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Date Signed Up:2/14/2012
Last Login:10/25/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#3925
Comment Ranking:#12459
Highest Content Rank:#287
Highest Comment Rank:#7340
Content Thumbs: 20082 total,  21784 ,  1702
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Content Level Progress: 97.9% (979/1000)
Level 219 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 220 Content: Mind Blower
Comment Level Progress: 50% (5/10)
Level 176 Comments: Soldier Of Funnyjunk → Level 177 Comments: Soldier Of Funnyjunk
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Content Views:539085
Times Content Favorited:1741 times
Total Comments Made:241
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    Facebook (21) Facebook (21)
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    Genius Genius
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    Poor Guy Poor Guy
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    Classy joke is classy Classy joke is classy
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    Is it that hard to remove a sticker? Is it that hard to remove a...
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    Math is so silly Math is so silly
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    How Finland advertises cough drops How Finland advertises cough drops
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    WOW WOW
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    The internet The internet
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    Koolaid Koolaid
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latest user's comments

#31 - The last one made me really really sad 10/22/2014 on Serm Jifs +1
#20 - Heres some OC I (created?) a while back 10/16/2014 on Packaging 0
#196 - I didnt think this was too bad, they're all pretty good and t…  [+] (1 new reply) 10/15/2014 on Cringe Comp Numbruh 9 +6
User avatar #310 - rockamekishiko (10/16/2014) [-]
yeah but that's one of the ways they started turning to cancer
#61 - "plagued by an attacker" 09/29/2014 on This Should Be in the... +3
#38 - Which of these are on Netflix? Help a bro out 09/23/2014 on I heard you like movies 0
#29 - The average person eats around 11,000 animals in their entire …  [+] (1 new reply) 09/23/2014 on Vegan pizza -1
User avatar #70 - respirator (09/24/2014) [-]
No. Fuck vegans.
#21 - Both are wrong, you shouldn't hit anyone. Now shut the …  [+] (2 new replies) 09/22/2014 on even more dumb ass shit +95
User avatar #61 - citruslord (09/22/2014) [-]
You obviously understand this, that both genders do wrong. But the way society, the media, and even the president treat it is not representative of this reality. That's the problem I see.
#50 - nosensephenom (09/22/2014) [-]
Are you fucking retarded? This is saying that both genders obviously do bad things, but we as a society laugh off female domestic violence and chastise male domestic violence.
#18 - I didn't stop eating meat because I think that we weren't mean…  [+] (17 new replies) 09/07/2014 on Talking about meat +5
User avatar #75 - karlKroenen (09/07/2014) [-]
What about fish? or farms that allow the animals to have amazing lives? If you could try kobe beef would you?
User avatar #20 - vorarephilia (09/07/2014) [-]
That is a completely valid reason, and I do not wish to persuade you away from veganism so long as you know what you are doing (those vegans who slowly starve themselves by not eating the correct foods to supplement enzymes the body cannot manufacture are a different level of ignorant.), but have you considered shopping local meats? If you ask nicely, some local farmers will let you see how they raise their livestock, then buy from them or through a local butcher. Better for the animals, better for the small businesses, and healthier for you.

but you don't have to, a vegan diet is "greener" if done correctly. I'm personally considering giving up beef after discovering how inefficient the feed conversion ratio is. Not giving up meat entirely, just picking greener and healthier meats. (distant pipe dream, but raising my own rabbits could be a solution.)
#71 - gisuar (09/07/2014) [-]
i read somewhere that for 1kg of cattle you need about 100kg of grass but to get 1kg of grasshoppers you only need 10kg and you still would get your protein
User avatar #89 - vorarephilia (09/07/2014) [-]
I think that might be a bit too high, but for a cow to gain 1kg of weight it needs somewhere between 5 to 20 kg of feed. however, that is feed and not grass nor does it could usable meat (I don't think) so idk how much that changes as feed is high in carbohydrates. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feed_conversion_ratio
this doesn't take into account how a percentage of animal feed comes from grain that was used in ethanol production
Crickets are 1.7:1, a far cry from the 5-20:1 for beef, but eating insects and living in the back woods doesn't exactly give potential dates a good first impression.

Rabbits are only ok, but they also have traits that make them useful such as low space requirement, no need to shovel manure like I would for larger critters, rabbit pellets are usable in a garden almost immediately as fertilizer (but composting would kill any pathogens that are in it), quick breeding, and are low fat. they seem like the winner for backyard farming in my opinion.
#99 - carbohydrates (09/07/2014) [-]
Damn the cows! Their longevity is not a concern to me.
I can't eat most beef anyways, due to the fat in it.
Even the less fatty cuts, people cook with vegetable/canola oil; Which I also cannot eat.
... Yay for IBS.
User avatar #100 - vorarephilia (09/07/2014) [-]
what other meats have you tried?
User avatar #101 - carbohydrates (09/07/2014) [-]
White meats (chicken, turkey) and fish work just fine, as long as they aren't cooked in veg/canola oil.
Pork is just fine, although the only pig product I'm really a fan of is bacon.
It's the fat content in beef, along side the oils. Staggering pain within half an hour.
I can eat stuff like a steak, but I have to cook it myself.
Cast iron skillet, bit of olive oil, brown the shit out of it. No pain.
User avatar #102 - vorarephilia (09/07/2014) [-]
yeah, beef is a unhealthy meat to consume as I have discovered. Not going to give up burgers completely, but I will definitely reduce my beef intake.
#90 - gisuar (09/07/2014) [-]
www.gizmag.com/farm-432-fly-larva-food/28509/ something like this is what i had in mind
User avatar #91 - vorarephilia (09/07/2014) [-]
I won't knock it until I try it. I'll say that much.
#94 - gisuar (09/07/2014) [-]
tbh apart from eating some poor little insects while being drunk and trying to be funny i've never eating anything with more than 4 legs.
but to me next to the artificial meat grown in labratories this seems like the only reasonable way to maintain my intake of animal protein in the more or less near future.
User avatar #65 - cousin (09/07/2014) [-]
My cousin is actually a veterinarian for that very reason of how inefficient it is.
User avatar #44 - immatakeaduty (09/07/2014) [-]
Raising your own rabbits isn't too distant, assuming you live in a rural-ish area. Have a talk with a local farmer for more info, or I'm sure there are a few sites out there to give you some guidance.

Also, consider hunting if you live in an area that supports / allows it. I usually only spend about $100 on store purchased meats through the year. it does take a certain something to take the life to support your own, but if you have it in you, I highly recommend it.
User avatar #45 - vorarephilia (09/07/2014) [-]
I'm reading up on it right now. It seems a lot easier than I thought a few hours ago. one doe making as many litters as possible yielding 80 ibs of meat a year sounds very inviting. so is home grown fur/leather and not shoveling shit. I currently live in a suburb-ish area (developing is a good word for it. not quite city yet, but I distinctly remember more stars and less oily residue in the near by creek when I was younger.) but hope to find a job either in a more rural area or work-from-home kinda deal while having a large garden and some animals.

Hunting is also a good option but my dad only taught me like stand hunting was the only option and my adhd didn't take too kindly to that. (Believe it or not, I didn't know you could hunt any other way than sitting still for hours until recently.)
User avatar #31 - halor (09/07/2014) [-]
see if that crazy vegan troll gave out potential ideas like this instead of being a dick about his veganism i wouldn't have a problem with him
#24 - megamouth (09/07/2014) [-]
i fucking love this guy. you mr. vorarephillia are easily my favorite funny junker/
#27 - vorarephilia (09/07/2014) [-]
#11 - There are way too many humans on this planet. We need a good …  [+] (58 new replies) 09/07/2014 on Godsave us all. -44
#102 - sirnigga (09/07/2014) [-]
you....you stole that line from quarantine 2 the we need a good plague part
#99 - xxxsonic fanxxx (09/07/2014) [-]
I bet you will be the next and the last person whom dies from it.
User avatar #82 - NinjaZombie (09/07/2014) [-]
Well he's got a point. At the rate the population is growing we're going to start having a really hard time supporting ourselves through natural means of food.
#69 - penileburglar (09/07/2014) [-]
I actually got a good giggle out of this, well played.

Though I don't think many people got the reference.
#46 - xxxsonic fanxxx (09/07/2014) [-]
or we could just, like, move somewhere. just a thought
#43 - Kairyuka (09/07/2014) [-]
You're welcome
User avatar #35 - glorinar (09/07/2014) [-]
Save the planet, kill yourself.
User avatar #31 - flamingbananas (09/07/2014) [-]
more like there are too many greedy assholes with ill-gotten power, we need a plague that only affects them
User avatar #32 - hydraetis (09/07/2014) [-]
You do realise the over consumption problem involves the majority of the people living in Canada & the US?
User avatar #112 - flamingbananas (09/07/2014) [-]
yes, but compared to idiots with too much power, which one do you think should be solved first?
#26 - floran (09/07/2014) [-]
But ebola is kawaii
User avatar #105 - curveball (09/07/2014) [-]
Good luck, ebola chan!
User avatar #103 - oliphan (09/07/2014) [-]
Thank mr skeltal.
User avatar #65 - dmkstarstar (09/07/2014) [-]
I love you ebola-chan!
User avatar #49 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
Cute.
User avatar #50 - floran (09/07/2014) [-]
Excruciating pain and death will come to you, fool!
User avatar #53 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
Doubt it.
I live in a secluded are in the rich and white North.

Also, Floran's my favorite race to play as in Starbound. They're cool.
User avatar #86 - lahel (09/07/2014) [-]
starbound player!!!!


yay!!!!1!!11!!!one!!!!
User avatar #87 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
Yay!11!!11eleven!!!
User avatar #89 - lahel (09/07/2014) [-]
what version do u use?
User avatar #90 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
Ah.
I got the one that was latest during summer.
I played through it till I had the end-game stuff.
Haven't gotten much of a chance to play then.

Playing with people could be fun, haha. But don't know many that actively play.
User avatar #91 - lahel (09/07/2014) [-]
i think I could start a server. nut what if you are a haxor 1337 m8? I did before. do u have hamachi?

also, version is important for online playing. I use the 9.6 enraged koala or something similar. Its the most stable.

I think you are using the rampaging koala [Nigthly]
User avatar #92 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
Yes, I do have Hamachi. Hamachi's good, huh? Haha. I wouldn't know how to hax, I'm afraid. Haha.

Yahuh. I can get any version pretty easily, I'd imagine.

The names are pretty similar, huh? Haha.
User avatar #93 - lahel (09/07/2014) [-]
all those hahas make you look like a psycopath who is saying 'no I dont kill anyone' are you sure you are not a hacker?

If you want I can set a server. If we have the Enraged Koala version, update 8, we could play.

I think you can get them from buhito , who has this page.

its in spanish but its pretty easy to download.

bhuitostarbound.es.tl/Versiones-de-Starbound.htm
User avatar #95 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH. I know, right? :CCCCCCCCC I hate it. Like, how they may be too excessive. But I wanna show I'm in a good mood or happy without the usage of "lol" or emoticons. Maybe yay's will do... and occasional haha.

Mmmaybe. Not right now. Not today.
Sorry!

But, yeah. I don't think I'd mind playing together.

I wanna learn Spanish, hehe. I took 3 courses at school!

I think I can find some torrents for them, too. From one place.
User avatar #96 - lahel (09/07/2014) [-]
okie, post something on my profile page if you wanna give it a try sometimes. have a nice day.
User avatar #97 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
You have yourself a great day, too.
And you can message me if you wanna talk, or something.
So yeah!

Thanks, by the way!
#57 - floran (09/07/2014) [-]
Floran IS best race
User avatar #115 - warzon (09/07/2014) [-]
*changelings
#116 - floran (09/08/2014) [-]
I want to be a tree
User avatar #118 - warzon (09/08/2014) [-]
So you want to remain rooted in place Forever?

Do you want to be a Floran? Forever?

Do you want to be a elf,
A warrior
A scholar
A politican
A thief
A writer
A fighter
And much more?

Changelings.
#119 - floran (09/08/2014) [-]
ok, I want to be a tree that walks
and a changeling isn't anyone of those, it pretends to be one.
User avatar #120 - warzon (09/08/2014) [-]
So you want to be a Tree-ent.
Good choice you can lounge around and think.

And everyone pretends, We just pretend better.
#58 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
Y- You swashbuckling Florans are all the same..

<- Floran.
#59 - floran (09/07/2014) [-]
ye, Floran all the same
All Floran are great
except for weak Floran that turn into Floran food
#60 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
Plants are the future, my friend.
#62 - floran (09/07/2014) [-]
As the prophecy says...
#63 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
I wanna watch that movie.
Is Groot the cutest?
No spoilers, though.


<- Needs to be enlarged to look good. Didn't wanna change from jpeg to png.
#67 - floran (09/07/2014) [-]
what am I exactly looking at?

also Groot is Great! Rocket is good too
#68 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
I believe it's a geode.

<-
Look at this.
#70 - floran (09/07/2014) [-]
That one looks naughty
#71 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
Pfft.
Naughty?

It's merely fire in a vase, or something.
I think it looks nice.
#72 - floran (09/07/2014) [-]
I guess you had never cum in a bathtub

I imagine is more like a kind of lava lamb
User avatar #114 - warzon (09/07/2014) [-]
Naughty things get my attention through time and space.
#117 - floran (09/08/2014) [-]
User avatar #121 - warzon (09/08/2014) [-]
Thumbing all your stuff up.
#73 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
My, what a naughty thing to bring up. But no, no I have not.

I wonder if it's a real thing. I wouldn't mind having one. Though I doubt I'd use it too much.
#74 - floran (09/07/2014) [-]
I had one regular lava lamp...is really cool to look at, and visits like it

but it takes like 2 hours to warm up, gets really hot so is just a fire waiting to happen, and in the end is a waste of energy. Is one of those things that you use in parties with guests but the rest of the time is in a corner wasting space.
#75 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
I've had a lava lamp. Also one of those plasma lamps which are a tesla coil within a glass ball with gas inside.

Yes. They take a while to heat up, and you can't leave them on.
Yahuh.
Mine is somewhere in a closet.
Maybe been there for over 5 years now.
#76 - floran (09/07/2014) [-]
As the prophecy of post #74 predicted
All hail Floran
#77 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
Do you think Florans taste good?
They seem indiscriminate on who they themselves eat.
But I wonder how they taste.
Hehe.
User avatar #64 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
Actually, it looks okay like that.
User avatar #54 - valax (09/07/2014) [-]
I live in the secluded, rich and white North. *

Sorry. I must be tired.
#37 - gatts (09/07/2014) [-]
I love you Ebola-chan!
#14 - itstuesday (09/07/2014) [-]
#13 - xxxsonic fanxxx (09/07/2014) [-]
hope you get it first fag
#12 - crimsonsunshine (09/07/2014) [-]
Why don't you start off by killing yourself. edgy cunt scrub.
#18 - huels (09/07/2014) [-]
#54 - "Just 7 light-years away" Wat  [+] (1 new reply) 09/01/2014 on Question Everything 0
#55 - guanyu (09/01/2014) [-]
I scoffed at "just" at first, but then I remembered something.
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