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buttplugmaster    

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buttplugmaster Avatar Level 234 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz
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Gender: female
Date Signed Up:6/16/2012
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Thumbs: 2023 total,  2067 ,  44
Comment Thumbs: 3497 total,  4002 ,  505
Content Level Progress: 23% (23/100)
Level 120 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry → Level 121 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry
Comment Level Progress: 79% (79/100)
Level 234 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz → Level 235 Comments: Ambassador Of Lulz
Subscribers:2
Content Views:62725
Times Content Favorited:257 times
Total Comments Made:1430
FJ Points:5574

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#112 - Picture 06/13/2014 on free nightmare! +3
#106 - **buttplugmaster rolls 87** blah blah not 12 06/13/2014 on Stripper 0
#6 - i cried. 01/12/2014 on Worth the read! (enlarge) 0
#3 - Everybody gather round for rant time! i spent my whole lif…  [+] (9 new replies) 01/12/2014 on paroniod parents +12
User avatar #109 - garymotherfingoak (01/13/2014) [-]
jesus.. sorry man.
#73 - ssjmizu (01/13/2014) [-]
My mom constantly uses the wrong/harder way to do things rather than learn a new way.

"Could you help me with the computer?"
"Sure, but instead I can show you how to do it yourself, or maybe show you how to use google so you can find out for yourself. so that eventually, when I leave, you can do this yourself."
"Don't act like you know more about computers than I do."

That shit gets me every time. My sisters all share a room, and the youngest always leaves the place to shit and the eldest sister is forced to clean up, or mom cleans up and yells at everyone/complains about how we're slobs. I don't go in there room unless one of them calls me in, how the fuck is this my problem?

"Why not make the one who made the mess clean up instead of you doing it?"
"shut up"

It's fucking lunacy. She always complains and yells, but never listens to what any of us have to say. Alot of the times it's because it's out of her way. the rest is because she doesn't want to. Dad's worse! He's a fucking moron! Apparently, someone broke into his work trunks and stole some valuable tools. Instead of calling the police, he goes looking for the guy, which he find, instead of calling to police AGAIN, he pushes the man off his bike and take his tools. it sounds cool yeah, but that guy could come back! He was desperate enough to steal who says he's not desperate enough to come back and fucking kill you, or cripple you, or kill ME or MY SISTERS!

He also got kittens, a month after our home got infested with flees and took the life of our previous cat. He got a male and female, siblings. Been 3 months and hasn't neutered them and they have flees. But he buys a shitty new windows 8 Moniter/Desktop instead of getting them treatments. It's fucking crazy. Maybe I'm just being stubborn/ungrateful. Nice to get it off and rant though.
#60 - terminalinfinity (01/13/2014) [-]
You have a beer, this is a bit of a winder so Ill try to condense it to the most important points. My mom is of those ideal moms. Not ideal in that she's great, shes very idealistic (Southern baptists Christian) and opinionated about the world and not very practical. She also the biggest exaggerator and drama queen I know. Here is a very small list of how she acts
-Exaggerated my behavior problems as a kid until I was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD at...age 5. I was forced to take Ritalin, Adderal (Which are amphetamines like Meth - actually meth is approved to treat ADHD under the name Desoxyn and I was almost given that too) which really screwed with my head.
-Left my dad when I was 6, who was a great man that worked his ass off. She left him because he cursed and she didn't want him "having a bad influence on me". This is the same man who worked 3 jobs and made the entire utility and house payment. My mom payed nothing into the house, yet in the divorce, she made my dad give her half the value of the house, while he was still making house payments.
-Essentially made it so I couldnt have any friends in school at all. She made it a point to be annoying, embarrassing and awkward everytime I hung out with someone outside of school. And when I told her about it, she said she knew and told me its a mother's job to embarrass their kids.
-Refused to let me stay home alone until I was 14 because "I wasnt ready". If I was sick from school, she made me come to work with her and sit in the break room
-Wouldnt let me watch any kind even remotely questionable TV or Movies. I was only allowed PG movies until I was 16. Beat me with a belt when she caught me watching south park.
-Called the police several times on me when I refused to do what she said. I wasnt being violent or out of control, she just didnt like I told her no.
-Go into a (Real) emotional breakdown everytime something happens with the computer and demand I stop whatever Im doing to fix her computer
User avatar #135 - DasSpiel (01/13/2014) [-]
"Mother's job to be embarrassing"
You have no idea how much I hate this.
In private she talks to me like a normal fucking adult, but when out in public (and especially around chicks my age) she talks to me as if I was a 5 year old with ADHD.
She also feels the need to share every personal detail about me with absolutely everyone. As a person who values his privacy, it drives me fucking insane.
#97 - leonplaysgames (01/13/2014) [-]
That "Mothers job to be embarrasing" is shit i get from my mom every fucking day.

You are not alone.
#52 - teasquid (01/13/2014) [-]
The assume any person I've made eye contact with I've fucked.
I'm still a virgin, and dated 1 guy for 3 days in 5th grade.
User avatar #47 - rsca (01/13/2014) [-]
How about my parents and my wifes parents are the fucking reason our marriage nearly went to shit until her and I had a sit-down the other day?

How about knowing my daughter will never see my mother and father grow old and responsible. Why? Well my daughter is at risk of asthma because my wife has it. My family smokes. My brother is quitting for them... and his wife. Also for their kids. They don't take care of their diet... they smoke like a fucking chimney... don't don't care for themselves or anyone else. And personality? I'll tell you why my wife nearly left me. The wife I helped build back to health because of Anorexia (which they still are ignorant to it and have no fucking clue nor care what it is) and had a daughter with. Because she wasn't up to par with their "standards". She didn't call 4x a day. She didn't do what they wanted her to do. She didn't become who they wanted her to become. And I am oh-so-fucking proud of that woman.

I have lived with controlling parents all my fucking life. Heaven forbid I have an opinion that's different. I was going to go into the RCMP Cadet Program (Royal Canadian Mounted Police)... was going to be flown to Saskatoon (but needed to go through whole process)... was ready to start doing paperwork.. was going to move my wife.. would get $500.00 a week which would help pay rent and shit. You wanna know what I get told? "Oh if you leave your leaving us behind. We need to keep family together". Completely ignorant of the fact I was STEP AWAY from getting a badge. My wife is U.S. citizen; we're awaiting for Immigration Canada to budge and get her medicals through. After that I am leaving them.... I will leave them in the shadow of no opportunity and remind them of all the opportunities they've taken form me. Sure they helped when times were tough... but nothing amounts to what I lost. This brings tears to my eyes every.. single.. fucking time. AS much as I wanna be a cop and i need to be tough.. a manipulative family kills.
#63 - terminalinfinity (01/13/2014) [-]
A thumb for you sir. Read my story above about a controlling bitch mom and it may make your feel better
User avatar #5 - zombieblob (01/12/2014) [-]
Live on your own and pay everything yourself.
#34 - ...CoC? 01/12/2014 on This Should Be Good +1
#33 - Picture 01/12/2014 on This Should Be Good 0
#198 - Thats funny, because as a female I can vouch for being at my h…  [+] (1 new reply) 01/12/2014 on Died for our buttsex 0
User avatar #200 - cookiel (01/12/2014) [-]
My comment was based off of what my previous girlfriends have told me. But I honestly cannot answer that question since I've never done anal sex before. I'm pretty sure no matter what the guys junk will smell like shit regardless but I don't think there is always shit inside the asshole. Particles, yes (hence the smell) but I'm sure if you do it like an hour after the girl took a shit it'd be fine (assuming she wiped)
#145 - So you would rather get covered in **** than bloo…  [+] (3 new replies) 01/12/2014 on Died for our buttsex +1
User avatar #186 - cookiel (01/12/2014) [-]
There isn't a 100% chance of getting covered in shit, not to mention most girls won't let you put it in them when they're on their period
User avatar #198 - buttplugmaster (01/12/2014) [-]
Thats funny, because as a female I can vouch for being at my horniest when on my rag. And because i have female friends i know for a fact that i am not the only one, so i can't imagine what kind of an idiot would not like sex while on their period, unless they were unhappy with the resulting mess, to which i just mention the perks of shower sex. I am curious tho, how do you fuck someone in the ass and not get covered in shit? I can't understand how that works without a presex enema.
User avatar #200 - cookiel (01/12/2014) [-]
My comment was based off of what my previous girlfriends have told me. But I honestly cannot answer that question since I've never done anal sex before. I'm pretty sure no matter what the guys junk will smell like shit regardless but I don't think there is always shit inside the asshole. Particles, yes (hence the smell) but I'm sure if you do it like an hour after the girl took a shit it'd be fine (assuming she wiped)
#68 - oh well when you put it like THAT it suddenly all makes sense 01/12/2014 on Died for our buttsex 0
#67 - my buttplugs are for controlling the flow of **** … 01/12/2014 on Died for our buttsex +4

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User avatar #12 - heartlessrobot (12/08/2013) [-]
That is a glorious profile name and pic.
User avatar #13 to #12 - buttplugmaster (12/08/2013) [-]
Why thank you.
#7 - gtobirilsrelbxw **User deleted account** (10/28/2013) [-]
I think it's time you adopted your first avatar. I give you: The Golden Buttplug.
User avatar #8 to #7 - buttplugmaster (10/29/2013) [-]
I will wear it with pride my friend, I thank you.
User avatar #9 to #8 - gtobirilsrelbxw **User deleted account** (10/29/2013) [-]
Yeah, your whole explanation of how this profile came into existence earlier made me want to give you something special to commemorate it. ;)
User avatar #10 to #9 - buttplugmaster (10/29/2013) [-]
Thank you, I appreciate it. :3
User avatar #11 to #10 - gtobirilsrelbxw **User deleted account** (10/29/2013) [-]
I ask but one thing in return, Master. Continue to plug butts in my honor! x3
#5 - anonymous (03/06/2013) [-]
I love you, your name, your anus, and the fact that you're a GIANT FAGGOT
what am I doing with my life
User avatar #6 to #5 - buttplugmaster (03/06/2013) [-]
Anon, you very clearly don't have a life.
#4 - anonymous (03/06/2013) [-]
FAGGOT
#3 - anonymous (03/06/2013) [-]
I love your anus
#2 - anonymous (02/15/2013) [-]
I like your name
#1 - alZii has deleted their comment [-]
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