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User avatar #495 - bulldozah (07/17/2012) [-]
Copypasta Database :3
User avatar #558 to #495 - bulldozah (01/08/2013) [-]
SONNETS!

To **** you in the ass would be a dream
To spread those luscious cheeks and enter you
To thrust and moan until your ass does bleed
And exit streaked with little bits of poo
I want your raging cock inside my mouth
A finger in my butt for extra pleasure
Your fingers graze my chest whilst heading south
I then caress your balls for better measure

Euphoric feelings overwhelm my dick
As i release my seed inside your butt
I travel assward down henceforth to lick
And drink the flowing nectar of my nut
Alas, these dreams have not yet come to be
For you refuse to let me touch your wee
User avatar #559 to #558 - bulldozah (01/08/2013) [-]
When i arrived at your sweet humble home
I had no thoughts to penetrate your mind
My only purpose left to find and bone
Your ever bouncing body from behind
Your bosom wrapped in bodice sewn of lace
Your beauty cloaked by garments up above
Please don't look back, I'd rather see no face
Just concentrate on pleasing me my love

Now i can hardly help myself but feel
A warming feeling brewing down inside
Turn carefully my dear right now and kneel
And feel said warming feeling on your side
My thanks to you my darling dear and flame
You are the third today on whom i came
User avatar #560 to #559 - bulldozah (01/08/2013) [-]
I take my dick and stick it in your face
Our love is merely physical at best
Your mother would have felt so much disgrace
Your tongue and lips are fit to do the rest
When in your eyes i look, i see myself
Those pretty eyes of yours are so azure
I grab the giant dildo from the shelf
I'll make this ******* rough for you that's sure

I throw you to the sacrificial bed
My arms you stroke as I'm convinced to flex
I fix the massive dildo to my head
Prepare for kinky unicornal sex
I thrust and wail and moan and thrust some more
So take this forehead dick you stupid whore
User avatar #561 to #560 - bulldozah (01/08/2013) [-]
The woman's thrown into the darkened room
She screams but no one hears nor cares to stop
The men file in and promptly strip to nude
1 cherry, seven men, it's time to pop
The men take turns deflowering the slave
And shaming her for centuries to come
Her fam'ly name she's not able to save
Nor stop incessant dicks from tearing bum

And after this act she will be stoned to death
As any shameful woman right'fly should
She soon will breathe her last disgusting breath
The slut will perish 'longside flaming wood.
It was her fault, her punishment is great
A good old fashioned Indian gang rape
User avatar #556 to #495 - mikhailovych (12/19/2012) [-]

I just finished playing one of the SCARIEST video games ever. Now, hear me out before saying, "Oh, he's probably just a fag that gets scared of everything." I don't get scared of video games or movies. I've played many survival horror games and have seen many horror movies in my day. The only thing that made me just a tiny bit scared were some parts of Penumbra and Condemned. Amnesia was pretty good. Everything else was just boring. This game was different. VERY different.

You aren't given any sort of backstory to the game at all. As soon as you press play, it throws you right into the game. However, I was able to piece together what the story basically is through finally beating this little brick ******* . Apparently, you're a madman. We're never given the name, but you can guess what it is if you pay attention to the title screen. For some reason, you escaped from whatever mental hospital room you were hiding in. Now, the very horrid state of your mind has transformed the halls of the hospital into nothing but a pitch black maze with the only light being the walls, which glow a deathly blue.


Your character is apparently some type of mad cannibal that you can barely control. You can force him to turn corners in the creepy hallway, but not much else can be done. Your character seems to grab anything and try to eat it; whatever is in front of him is thrown into his mouth and he munches it down.



While playing the game, you're being chased by four hideous and ******* scary ghost monsters. You cannot hurt them at all, and to come even close to one is instant death, in which the ghost latches onto you and rips you inside all, all while you hear the horrible noise of your body being torn.


You can, however, eat some odd objects hidden in the maze, after which your character goes into an even more unstable state. You can literally EAT the ghost monsters. Your character runs right up to them and devours them, only leaving their eyes.



User avatar #555 to #495 - bulldozah (11/18/2012) [-]
I don’t give a **** who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your ******* life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much ******* pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a ******* back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a **** how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many ******* guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll ******* show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the **** out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a ******* heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my ******* car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could ******* destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great ****** length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing ******* hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll ******* resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you
User avatar #554 to #495 - bulldozah (11/18/2012) [-]
¿Qué demonios acabas de joder dicen sobre mí, perra? Tendré que usted sabe que se graduó primero de mi clase en los Navy Seals, y he estado involucrado en numerosos ataques secretos sobre Al-Qaeda, y tengo más de 300 muertes confirmadas. Estoy entrenado en la guerra gorila y yo soy el francotirador superior en la totalidad de las fuerzas armadas de Estados Unidos. No eres nada para mí, pero simplemente otro blanco. Yo te limpie la mierda con precisión la talla de la que nunca se ha visto antes en la Tierra, recuerda mis palabras malditas. ¿Cree que puede salirse con la suya diciendo que una mierda para mí a través de Internet? Piense otra vez, hijo de puta. En este momento me pongo en contacto con mi red secreta de espías en los EE.UU. y el IP que se está dibujando en estos momentos así que es mejor prepararse para la tormenta, gusano. La tormenta que arrasa con lo patético que llame a su vida. Eres un maldito niño muerto. Puedo estar en cualquier lugar, en cualquier momento, y te puedo matar en más de 700 caminos, y eso es sólo con mis propias manos. No sólo soy ampliamente capacitado en el combate sin armas, pero no tengo acceso a todo el arsenal de los Estados Unidos Cuerpo de Marines y lo voy a utilizar en toda su extensión para limpiar el culo desgraciado de la faz del continente, pedazo de mierda. Si tan sólo hubiera sabido lo profano retribución a su pequeño "inteligente" comentario iba a traer sobre usted, tal vez habría tenido su maldita lengua. Pero no podía, que no lo hizo, y ahora está pagando el precio, maldito idiota. Lo haré furia mierda sobre ti y te va a ahogar en ella. Estás muerto, hijo.
#553 to #495 - bulldozah (11/07/2012) [-]
Stop Right There Criminal Scum,

My name is Imperial Guard, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are low endurance, low intelligence troublemakers who spend every second of their day looking for laws to break. You are everything bad in Tamriel. Honestly, have any of you ever bought something? I mean, I guess it's fun stealing shopkeepers' property because of your low score in mercantile, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than pickpocketing wandering traders when no guards are around.

Don't be a criminal. Just hit anyone within eyesight. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the running team, and starter on my shouting team. What sports do you play, other than "commit senseless acts of violence and theft against those who cannot defend themselves"? I also have full Imperial Armor, and have arrested the hero many times (She just paid the fine; **** was SO septims). You are all criminals who should have just payed the fine. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me apprehending a criminal.
User avatar #552 to #495 - bulldozah (11/03/2012) [-]
What the **** did you just ******* say about my money, you little serf? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Harvard Law, and I’ve been involved in numerous missionary trips to France, and I have over 300 confirmed conversions. I am trained in gorilla brainwashing and I’m the top *********** in the entire US Mormon congregation. You are nothing to me but just another pleb. I will wipe you the **** out with unlimited funds the likes of which has never been seen before in this country, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with calling me out on my lies over the Internet? Think again, peasant. As we speak I am contacting the NSA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the illegal raid, ****** . The raid that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your bank account. You’re ******* poor, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can outspend you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my walking-around money. Not only am I extensively trained in bankrupting companies, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I will use it to its full extent to "suicide" your little miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little **** . If only you could have known what unholy debt your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you could have held your ******* magic underwear. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn democrat. I will **** money all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ******* dead, libtard."

-Willard Mittens Rmoney
User avatar #550 to #495 - bulldozah (10/29/2012) [-]
Excuse me, what was it exactly that you wanted to tell me? I don't want to brag, but I would like you to know I graduated top of my class at MIT and I've been involved in numerous work fases of the Giant Liquid Battery and I have over 300 academically published scientific papers on String-Theory on my name. I am also very trained in solving complex problems involving modular forms and I'm one of the top mathematicians in the entire world. I don't want to come across mean, but I believe it is fair to say that your input doesn't matter greatly to me or my colleagues as you come across as just another freshman. Don't forget I can make your exams the hardest you have ever seen, with questions the likes of which you have never seen in your public highschool, please mark these words. You may think that you can get away with saying these things to me over the Internet, but you would be wrong. As we speak I am contacting my contacts at NASA and they confirmed my believes that it is theoretically possible to track you down and, in a mather of minutes, get live feedback of where and who you are. I hope that this information will guide you in the future when you're about to write another little "clever" comment. Don't forget that where there is unacceptable behaviour, there will always be consequences. I will let you go with a warning this time, but don't forget: you alone are responsable for your own actions, kiddo.
User avatar #549 to #495 - bulldozah (10/29/2012) [-]
What the zoobidey flip-flop-bop did you just say about me, you flippidy zoob woobity? I'll have you know I zooped and flooped to the top of my class in the zobbler wobbler, and I've rop-wop-flopped in numerous shoobidy doobidies on floppity pudding, and I have over 300 shibbidy bops. I am trained in flap-floppities and I'm the top doober in the entire shibbidy. You are nothing to zoobidy-me but just another zoobidy. I will zoop you the blop out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this floobidy Earth, mark my flibbidy flop. You think you can flop away with zoobing that doobie-woobie to me over the Interzoobies? Think again, flap-flopper. As we speak I am zipping my blopping bloop of flobbidies across the boopidy and your floopidy is being flopped right now so you better poopidy for the big zoobidy flop party, son. You're jeeber zeebered, son. I can be anywhere, any-flopping-time, and I can zoop and woop you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my boobidy shoobidies. Not only am I extensively zooped in zip-wop, but I have access to the entire zabber of the Zap Wop Muggity Top and I will zoop it to its full extent to flap your flobbity flob off the face of the zoobie, you zabber wabber. If only you could have known what zopping fury your little "zoopity" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have zooped up. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you flapping babbling shooby-wooper. I will zip zop all over you and you will drown in it. You're zooped, son.
#548 to #495 - bulldozah (10/29/2012) [-]
Hey Betadogs and *********** ,

My name is King, and I would submission-hump every single one of you. All of you are beagle-cocked, chihhuahua-dicked, neutered omegas who spend every second of their day looking to try to get a new peanut butter treat or a blue ribbon. You are everything bad in the world since you sucked at the cock of your littermate and thought it was a titty. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any bitches that weren't a stuffed monkey? I mean, I guess it's fun barking your ass off all day because most dogs would eat you if given half a chance, but you all take to a whole new level of vet science. This is even worse than trying to lick the balls they cut off you when they decided you weren't worth breeding for future generations.

Don't be a wienerdog. Try to piss on my tree and hit me with your best scent. My grandsire was champion at Winchester, my sire was a police sniffer dog, and my dam busted fifteen thousand kilos of cocaine out of Bogota hidden in potato shipments. Me, I've got more training awards than a Navy Seal team and I poop logs bigger than your shriveled cock and balls. What do you do, other than "run in circles like a minipin on crack barking at my own tail?" You're about as useful as Neuticles on a castrated shihtzu.

In conclusion: You're all little puggles who should just go chase cement trucks in rush hour traffic.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch
User avatar #547 to #495 - bulldozah (10/29/2012) [-]
What the swag did you just ******* yolo about me, you little wayne? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the SwagFags, and I’ve been involved in numerous Obey Records , and I have over 300 confirmed Swaggers. I am trained in wearing snapbacks and I’m the top poser in the entire Swagfag Army. You are nothing to me but just another No swag. I will swag you the **** out with swagger the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ******* hashtags. You think you can get away with not taking pictures in the mirror over the Internet? Think again, ****** . As we speak I am contacting my mom, she has alot of swag, and your ratchet ass is being traced right now so you better prepare for the yolo, ***** . The yolo that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your swag. You’re ******* dead, ***** . I can swag anywhere, anytime, and I can swag in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my baggy skinny jeans. Not only am I extensively trained in having plugs and snake bites, but I have access to the entire Hollister store. and I will use it to its full swaggness to wipe your miserable swag off the face of tumblr, you little Non trend follower. I will swag yolo all over you and you will swag in it. You’re ******* dead, ***** .
#551 to #547 - swagfag has deleted their comment [-]
#546 to #495 - bulldozah (10/29/2012) [-]
Hey Latent Homosexual Internet Lurkers:

My name is Sigismund Schlomo Freud, and I find every single one of you a worthy specimen for psychoanalitical research. All of you are either clinically overweight, weak-minded, oedipal failures who spend most of their unproductive day looking at nonsensical and childish pictures. You are everything that represents a neurotic development of humankind.

Honestly, have any of you gotten past your castration anxieties? I mean, I guess it can be fun to mock other neurotic or psychotic people because of your own traumatic experiences as children, but you all take this practice to an interesting new level of mental disease. This is even worse than practicing onanism to friends that represent your own mothers on various social networks, creating the illusion of human contact.

I hope you contact me for a session. Just tell me whatever comes into your head, even if you think it unimportant or irrelevant or nonsensical or embarrassing or distressing. I’m not really perfect, but I try my best everyday. I was awarded with the Goethe prize, and started my own school of psychological thinking. What kind of thinking do you practice, other than “lonely obsesive masturbation to offensive representations of asians engaging in perverted coitus”? I also got away from the nazis, and have a smoking hot cigar (i just smoked one; tobacco is such a refined taste, just like actual monetary values).

You all have latent unresolved homosexual tendencies, and should consider suicide as a cure for the species. Thank you for you kind attention.

Picture is Related to the topic at hand: It’s me and cigar.
User avatar #543 to #495 - bulldozah (10/24/2012) [-]
What the bowser crush did you just flutter blasting say about me, you little gumba? I’ll have you know I finished top of my circuit on Rainbow Road, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Albatoss, and I have over 300 confirmed kills in Bowsers Castle. I am trained in green shell warfare and I’m the top fire flower shooter in the entire Mushroom Kingdom. You are nothing to me but just another piranha plant. I will wipe you the bowser crush out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this kingdom, mark my flutter dunking words. You think you can get away with saying that shroom broth to me over the Outer Limits? Think again, fuzzbush. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Lakitu Bros across the Mushroom Kingdom and your Tanooki Trail is being traced right now so you better prepare for the starstorm, magikoopa. The starstorm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life shroom. You’re flutter blasting dead, gumba. I can be in any pipe, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my green shell. Not only am I extensively trained in green shelled combat, but I have access to the entire bob-omb arsenal of the Mushroom Kingdom and I will use it to its full extent to bob-omblast your miserable muncher off the face of the Kingdom, you little koopa. If only you could have known what rolling brush return your little “super” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your banana bunch. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn koopa klogger. I will shell shot fury all over you and you will spin in it. You’re ******* dead, gumba.
User avatar #542 to #495 - bulldozah (10/24/2012) [-]


What in the devil's name did y'all just say about me, you little sinner? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Bible School, been involved in numerous Billy Graham crusades, and have over 300 confirmed soul-savings. I am trained in New Testament apologetics and am the top converter in the entire Baptist Church. Y'all ain't nothin' to me but another sinnin' atheist. I will bring you to Jesus with a passion the likes of which ain't never before been seen on this Earth, y'all mark what I'm sayin'. You think you can get away with that there sinful talk over the Internet? Think again, pagan. As we speak I'm contactin' my secret network of deacons across the USA and your local church address is being traced right now so you better prepare for the sermon, devil's child. The sermon that wipes the blackness right out of your soul. Your sinful days are over, kid. I can radio evangelize anywhere, anytime, and I can bring you to Jesus in over 700 different ways, and that's just with bare Bible verses. Not only am I extensively trained in hermeneutics, but I have access to the entire hymnal collection of the Protestant Church and I will use it to its full extent to see that you know who the Lord Jesus is. If only you could have known what kind of fire and brimstone preachin' your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your blasphemous tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're payin' the tithe, you unredeemed heathen. You're goin' to Hell.
User avatar #541 to #495 - bulldozah (10/20/2012) [-]
Original:

People these days seem to think we are some sort of Internet vigilante group, That couldn't be further from the truth. We are the little voice in the back of your head that wants to **** your hot sixteen year old daughter. We are the father who beats his six year old child simply because he spilled his beer. We are every chef that's ever spit in some random person's food for the hell of it. We are the pyromaniac who burns down the homeless shelter for ***** and giggles. We are the person who rapes the same girl twice. We are that feeling you get when you beat your pets; and enjoy it. We see some guy hang himself live, we laugh. A wrestler kills his family, we laugh. Some maladjusted Asian shoots up his university, we laugh. Fifty-thousand die in North Korea, we laugh. AIDS ravages a continent, we laugh. An Austrian man locks his daughter in his basement for 24 years and fathers 8 children with her, we laugh. A religion invented by a psychotic writer swindles countless gullible ********* out of their cash, we laugh, and then go kick his religion's ass just for the hell of it. We aren't some vigilante group righting wrongs. We aren't your friends, your buddies or your saviors. Your feelings mean nothing to us. We are human nature unencumbered by pointless ethics, foolish moralities or arbitrary laws and restrictions. We are every dark impulse you have; unrestrained and fully realized. We are what deep down, you wish you were. We exist as a means for instant gratification, purely at our own whim. We have no culture, we have no laws, written or otherwise. We are an autonomous collective, each an insignificant part of a whole. You cannot assimilate us, we do not change. You cannot defeat us, we do not exist. You cannot infiltrate us, we know our own. We do not sleep, we do not eat and we do not feel remorse. We will tear you apart from outside and in, we have all the time in the world. You operate under the delusion that we will someday be outdated, that we might even see the light. You are irrevocably wrong. You are not special, you are not unique and you aren't crusaders for justice. You're a blend of college age faggots who think that they can do some sort of good, and who are desperate to belong, to have attention. You have accomplished nothing, and you will fall. Enjoy your AIDS, faggots.
User avatar #538 to #495 - mikhailovych (10/19/2012) [-]
By the Old Gods and the New, what did you ******* say about me, you little imp? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Kingsguard, I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids Beyond the Wall and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in jousting and I’m the top archer in the Seven Kingdoms. You’re as useful as nipples on a breastplate. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in Westeros, my words are hardly wind. You think you can get away with sending messages like that to me with a raven? Think again, bastard. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Faceless Men across Westeros and your holdfast is being scouted right now, you just woke the Dragon, bastard. The Dragon that burns up this pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ******* dead, imp. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire Night’s Watch and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the Seven Kingdoms, you little **** . If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” jape was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ******* tongue. But you couldn’t you didn’t, and now you’re paying your debts, you witless fool. I will sacrifice you to the Drowned Gods. You’re ******* dead, bastard.
User avatar #537 to #495 - mikhailovych (10/19/2012) [-]
What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my N7 class in the Interplanetary Combatives Academy, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Cerberus, the heretic geth, and the reapers, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am a trained biotic, the first human Spectre and I’m the top sniper in the entire Alliance Military. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this galaxy, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Extranet? Think again, ****** . As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the milky way via the Shadow Broker and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the ********* , varren **** . The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ******* dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Alliance Military and Citadel Security forces and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the universe, you little **** . If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “snide” insinuation was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ******* tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ******* dead, kiddo.
User avatar #536 to #495 - mikhailovych (10/18/2012) [-]
What the buck did you just bucking say about me, you little mare? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Iron Will's assertiveness seminars. I've been involved in numerous, secret weddings in Canterlot, and I have over 300 confirmed Sonic Rainbooms. I am trained in pony warfare, and I'm the top flyer in the entire Equestria Armed Forces. You are nothing to me, but just another parasprite. I will love and tolrate you the **** out with unicorn spells the likes of which has never been casted before on this land, mark my ******* works. You think you can get away with sending that **** to me over firebreathing scrolls? Think again, neighsayer. As we speak, I am contacting my secret network of pegasi, across Equestria, and your IP is being traced right now. So you better prepare to tolerate the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're ******* banished, filly. I can write friendship reports anywhere, anytime and send them in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hooves. Not only am I extensively trained in unicorn magic, but I have access to the Elements of Harmony in the entire Equestria Marine Corps. And I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable flank off of Ponyville, you little **** . If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "great and powerful" boasting was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would've held your ******* wings. But you couldn't, you didn't and now you're paying the bits, you Celestiadamn idiot, I will buck apples all over you. And you will drown in it. You're ******* banished, filly.
User avatar #535 to #495 - mikhailovych (10/17/2012) [-]

I wanna get Chlamydia! Like no one's ever had!
Herpes inside my butt, and every kind of crab!
Humping strangers July to June, spreading my baby cream
I'm gonna set a record soon, it's always been my dream!
(STDs! Gotta catch em all!)
Across the map, I'll give and receive the clap
Oh, so come on down and take a tour through scabie-town
(STDs!)
Yeah! Like HPV, Hepatitis A B & C!
I do you and you do me, STDs!
Gotta catch em all!
Gotta catch em all!
User avatar #532 to #495 - mikhailovych (10/16/2012) [-]
Now this is the story all about how
My life got ruined, turned upside down
And I'd like to take your penis up straight in my butt
I'll tell you how I became the whore known as Amanda Todd

In West Vancouver born and raised
On the tinychat rooms I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And all showing some tits to see old stallions drool
When a couple of stallions, who were up to no good
Started making trouble
in my neighbourhood
I got in one little fight and my mom held a speech
And said "You're going up yo room now and drink some more bleach"

I started doing drugs while slitting my wrist
while ponies texted "be an hero, it's all that we insist"
If anything I felt the razor gave me pleasure
But I couldn't carry on, I couldn't stand the pressure

I got fed up of one little hater
And I yelled to the bullies "Yo, cunts smell you later!"
I sighed to myself, I had nowhere to go
so I pulled out a rope and became an hero
User avatar #530 to #495 - mikhailovych (10/16/2012) [-]
Hey Faggots,
My name is Amanda, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are respectful human beings who don’t camwhore all day and **** other people’s boyfriends. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any dick or people to fap to you? I mean guess it’s fun not being a total teenage slut, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than being in a longterm monogamous relationship and not being a crying attention whore.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot all over my tits or your tissue. I’m pretty much perfect. I was I ****** all my guys friends, and camwhored for everyone else. What drugs do you take, other than “none because you’d rather not be a retard”. My parents don’t love me, and I have this sweet bottle of bleach (I just drank one; **** was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my bleach


User avatar #531 to #530 - bulldozah (10/16/2012) [-]
Do you actually have a pic?
User avatar #534 to #531 - mikhailovych (10/16/2012) [-]
I pulled it off of ED
#533 to #531 - mikhailovych has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #529 to #495 - mikhailovych (10/14/2012) [-]

What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you little bully? I'll have you know I lasted 16 years in Canada, and I've been involved in numerous raids on my own body, and I have over 300 ML of bleach drank. I am trained in self harm and I'm the top Clorox chugger in BC, Canada. You are nothing to me but just another Bully. I will wipe myself the **** out with chugging the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ****** . As we speak I am knotting my 2 meters long of rope across my neck and your feels are being hurt right now so you better prepare for the suicide, bully. The suicide that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're ******* done, kid. I can die anywhere, anytime, and I can kill myself in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my Clorox and rope, You ****** up bully, I will **** sadness on you and you will drown in it, I'm ******* dead kiddo.



User avatar #540 to #529 - bulldozah (10/20/2012) [-]
What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you little bully? I'll have you know I had sex with most of my class in middle school, and I've been involved in numerous private shows on tinychat, and I have over 300 confirmed nudes. I'm trained in gorilla whorefare and I'm top stripper in the entire canadian internet. You're nothing to me but just another viewer.
i will pull my tits the **** out precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ****** . As we speak I am contacting my secret network of news stations across Canada and my story is being told right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot.The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your news feed. I'm ******* dead, kid. I can drink bleach anywhere, anytime, and I can kill myself in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bleached hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed clothing removal, but I have access to the entire cabnent of cleaning materials and I will use it to its full extent to wipe my miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little **** . If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have screenshot those ******* nudes. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now I'm paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will pour bleach all over me and I will drown in it. I'm ******* dead, kiddo.
User avatar #528 to #495 - mikhailovych (10/10/2012) [-]
What in the name of the Emperor did you just ******* say about me, you little heretic? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Schola Progenium, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Xenos, and I have over 300 confirmed purgings. I am trained in abhuman warfare and I’m the top Inqusitor in the entire Imperium. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen since the Emperor, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with saying that blasphemy to me over the Astropaths? Think again, ****** . As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the Imperium and your Astropath is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ******* dead, heretic. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my daemonhost. Not only am I extensively trained in flamer combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Imperial Guard and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your heretical ass off the face of the Imperium, you little **** . If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ******* tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn heretic. I will **** the Emperor’s fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ******* dead, kiddo.
User avatar #527 to #495 - bulldozah (10/08/2012) [-]
What the bollocks did you just bloody say about me, you little scoundrel? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in Oxford, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on negroes, and I have over 300 confirmed cups of tea. I am trained in traditional warfare and I'm the top gentlemen in the entire English armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another bugger. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying that blasphemous trash to me over the Fancy wireless communication system? Think again, peasant. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Earl Grey tea sellers across England and your bad breath is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, you nimcompoop. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're dead, nincompoop. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can charm you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare mustache. Not only am I extensively trained in mustache charming, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the English Navy and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable bottom off the face of this Island, you little bastard. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your bloody tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn bastard. I will excrete fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're dead, negro.
User avatar #526 to #495 - bulldozah (10/08/2012) [-]
Why is it that you demand I tell you what I had said when it is written in the text of the post number you quoted? Can you not read? And I am not a bitch, I have a girlfriend and I treat her well. I don’t believe in fighting, so you being in the Navy Seals is a characteristic I deem unimportant. Obviously your ego is more important than your being, since you keep track of rough estimates of your psychotic rampage victims to later relay to strangers. I am assuming you mean guerrilla warfare. Since gorilla warfare is more of a comedic thought I just conjured in my head. In light of your apparent illiteracy, I can’t help but ask, how do you go about wiping my existence of the face of the Earth if you can’t spell? In your cutesy jetliner armed with tittie missiles? Explain the physics of a missile to me in clear detail, from the air it soars through to the mechanisms of triggering the explosion. You know about as much as your literacy. Go ahead page your secret spies for duty, it will be a lost mission because my data is completely secure. I’m hidden behind the curtains of the internet. If you can be anywhere, anytime, I expect you in your goofy jetliner and your fellow spies at my door in 3, 2, 1…oh sorry. Nothing. You call my life sad when your life is just one giant exaggeration: inflating your ego to ethereal heights by making assumptions about people that aren’t true as a means of intimidation (comedic intimidation, might I add) and putting people down left, right and centre. Your the guy who fronts the virility online to make up for that which you lack in person. Another thing about you is that you cannot reason.
User avatar #525 to #495 - bulldozah (10/08/2012) [-]
By the nine divines! What did you just say about me, you little skeeverass? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the College of Winterhold, and I've been know to cast one hell of a fireball, and I have over 300 confirmed summons. I am trained in daedric warfare and I'm the swords master of the entire Imperial forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will make you beg to Akatosh as I bend you over like a common whelp, mark my words, on my oath as the Dovakinn. You think you can come into my mind though this magic device and insult me? Think again, scum. As we speak I have every assassin and thief across all of Tamriel looking for your initial position so you better prepare for the storm atronach, you drauger. The storm atronach that wipes out the pathetic little husk you call your life. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my dragon shouts! Not only am I extensively trained in archery and horseback riding, but I have access to the entire congregation of the thieves guild, dark brotherhood, Mages college, and untold hordes of daedric warriors, and I will use every one of them to banish you to the plane of oblivion.. If only you could have had the clairvoyance to see what divine retribution your little "clever" runes were about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your tongue you dark skin. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will become the embodiment of Mehrunes Dagon, and open a portal to oblivion the likes of which you have never seen. You're ******* dead, milk-drinker.
#524 to #495 - bulldozah (10/08/2012) [-]
Woke up this morning 5:30 sharp with a blowjob from two bitches, one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. Must have came about a quart of sperm.
They wanted more, cockslapped them unconscious, I had to hit the gym.
Frontflipped from my 14th floor loft into my valet parked 2014 Ferrari (I got connections) and gave the valet 3000$ in loose change. Pushed my **** to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at the gym in no time.
When I entered, the room scent suddenly changed from sweat to wet pussy. That’s just the effect I have on hoes.
Did my usual relax routine, 6000 push-ups, 8500 crunches, bench pressed 30 plates, etc. etc. you know the drill. After doing my **** in 16 minutes,
my super strong senses got in action, I was smelling pussy. I looked up, and sure enough this fly honey was coming towards me.
When i say fly, I mean that bitch was fine as a ******* umbrella. 18 years old, 12DD titties on a tight ******* frame.
I mean a real skinny bitch, the type you losers jack off to, she didn’t weigh more than 5 pounds. Took out my trouser monster and she started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time.
Then I gave it to her while all the guys were giving me high fives and all the hoes were on the floor squirting like ************* fountains. Made the slut beg for my cum, but I didn’t give it to her to prove a point, I still came but only compressed air came out,
imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. Didn’t say nothing, hopped back in the Lambo and went back home. Now I’m sitting here, drinking 15 000$ champagne and eating gold plated sushis made by the 2 bitches from earlier. Its only 6:30 and I did more in 1 hour than you faggots will do your whole life. Enjoy jacking off to stupid drawn pictures.
User avatar #523 to #495 - bulldozah (10/02/2012) [-]
What in Davy Jones' locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o' swag. I'll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o'er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o' the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I'll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o' the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll **** fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You're fish food now.
User avatar #521 to #495 - mikhailovych (09/26/2012) [-]
I love you,
You love me,
Barney gave me HIV!
It started with a hug,
but Barney wanted more.
Now I've got AIDS,
and I'm only 4!
User avatar #520 to #495 - mikhailovych (09/22/2012) [-]

yall pathetic people on here should be ashamed of yourselves. everyone is a bitch.
your pussy your soft. u never talk to girls. or put in that work. ur a faggot ass bitch who sits on the computer and has no social life. and wonder why you always get friendzoned. u never put in any work in the streets. bust any guns. and i know yall dont get pussy. and yall think u can **** with me. let me tell u something. about the weather in the summertime Anything goes when it's warm Dudes done even shot up my grandmama door If the dude want beef with me, tell him whatever When I kill him, tell his kids that they ****** pop should've known better I don't play games, I ain't Nick Cannon When I wild out dudes gettin headshots from the cannon Can't roll with me and be no bitch ***** I eat you food like I'm blood and you crip ***** Can't be around GMG and be a rat It's like being the only blood in a crip house screamin out brrrrat This for them dudes in the can behind the bars When they listen to my music, they close they eyes and think they in the car They think about that money they was gettin Them hoes they was hittin (oww), the bricks they was flippin, they was chillin Man, nothin don't last forever, first time I shot at a cop I had a Beretta It's a 100 degrees and my AC broke First ***** look at me wrong gon get smokedMy attitude is **** whoever, he gon get clapped My grandmom's like, boy I raised you better than that I'm like grandma -"it's hot", I ain't with the ******** I'm ready to pop, my Mac got a full clip I'm the kid that **** up the dice gameIf I lose my money ****** gon lose they life mane and thats my and my life. so dont u ever **** with me.


....bitch



User avatar #518 to #495 - bulldozah (09/06/2012) [-]
Have you ever read a post on /b/ and wondered whether or not it is copy pasta? It is almost as though half the posts are pasta. Maybe they all are. Maybe this one is. Maybe it is not. Maybe it will become pasta at some point in time. Maybe it will be pasta'd over and over in this very thread. Maybe more threads will be made filled with this post. Although I fear it, I wouldn't doubt it.
User avatar #519 to #518 - bulldozah (09/06/2012) [-]
Have you ever really been decided to post on /b/ and wondered whether to go as far or not it is copy pasta? It is almost as though to do even more the posts are pasta. Maybe they all are decided to even look like. Maybe this one is going as far as deciding. Maybe it is not. Maybe it will become decided to go even as far as to decide more pasta at some point in time. Maybe it will be pasta'd over and over in this very thread to really decide. Maybe more threads will be made to do even more look like this post. Although I fear it, John and his bitch wouldn't doubt it.
User avatar #515 to #495 - bulldozah (08/30/2012) [-]
First, I am a police officer. I have first hand seen the problems associated with marijuana use. Marijuana is a gateway drug made illegal by the Declaration of Independence. That is why we try so hard to keep it off the street. If kids get their hands on this stuff then they will most likely move on to the harder stuff like heroin, meth, and crack/cocaine. I have seen this happen first hand, like I said, I am a police officer.

Second, do you know how much money state and local law enforcement would lose if Marijuana were decriminalized. About 1/3 of all law enforcement jobs would be eliminated. The busting of marijuana users is a huge supplemental income for state and local law enforcement. It brings money into our jails, provides people with police officer jobs, and helps us keep the harder stuff off the street.

Third, you say thousands of people are put in prison every year because of archaic marijuana laws? Think about how many jobs you would be taking away if you legalized it. You're jealous of my dubs. The United States Prison Bureau estimated that 75% of the increase in the federal prison population over the last 20 years has been due to marijuana related crimes. Think about how many jobs you're talking about.

Fourth, my brother destroyed his life by smoking pot. He was captain of the football team, prom king, and a very smart dude. He smoked pot one time and it ruined his entire life. His junior year he tried pot once. By his senior year, he had tried it twice. That year he was killed by a drunk driver. Do you see where I am going with this? I could do this all day.

What I am trying to say is that pot is bad stuff. It leads to people be dumb. uneducated, hippies that don't want to produce and only want to live outside the grid. Don't live outside the grid my friends.
User avatar #497 to #495 - bulldozah (07/17/2012) [-]
What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ****** . As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ******* dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little **** . If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ******* tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ******* dead, kiddo.
User avatar #496 to #495 - bulldozah (07/17/2012) [-]
ALL U WHITE AZZ CRAKA ASS FAGGET MUHFUKKAS IZ BITCHES. HAHA U ALL A BUNCH OF LIL TINY DIKK FAGETS. ALL WITES NEED 2 DIE. ****** WERE DA FIRST PEOPLE ON EARTH. PEOPLE STARTED IN AFRICA. ****** BUILT DA PYRAMIDZ. ****** MADE ALL DAT **** YOU USE IN YO HOUSE BUT YO WHITE ASS CRACKA RACIS BITCHES STOLE OUR INVENTSIONS, BUT WHATEVA NAWMSAYIN ***** WE PRESIDENT NOW. DIS A BLACK MANS WORLD. WITE MEN AINT GOT **** ON US. U WITE CRAKA BITCHES IS SO DUM, AND U ALL LIV IN TRAILERS AND **** . WITE TRASH ******** . I SEE ALL U FAGETS WIT DA NAZI KKK SKINHEAD **** CUZ YALL SCARED OF US. U KNO WE SUPERIEOR 2 DA WITE MAN. BLACC MEN GOT BIGGA DICKS, WE GOT MO MUSELS, WE MO INTELLIGINT, WE FASTA, AND ALL DEM WITE BITCHESS WANNA GET WIT DA BLACK MAN NOW. YEA DATS RITE I **** WITE BITCHEZ CUZ DEY WANT DA PLESURE DAT ONLY A BLACK MAN CAN GIV DEM. ***** I BE FUKIN YO DAUGHTAS I BE FUKKIN YO WIFEZ. U WHITE FAGGET CRAKA AZZ ******** CNT DO **** BOUT IT IN A FEW YEARS DEY ONLY GON BE ****** ON EARTH, JUS LIKE WHEN MANKIND STARTED
AINT GON TAKE **** FROM U FAGGET ASS REDNEK RACIS NO MO. WE GON FUK U BITCHES UP. DAS RITE ***** . IM A BLACK PANTHER ********** . TAKE A LOOK AROUND U. THA PRESIDINT IS BLACK. WE IN YO MOVIES, ON YO TV. U LISTEN TO OUR MUZIK. BLAKS GOT RYTHM. YALL DONT. BLACK POWER. AND U FAGGETS IS GAY. EVERYTIME I SEE SUM GAY **** POSTED HERE ITS SUM WITE CRAKA AZZ FAGGOT. U FAGGET WHITES GOT MO GAYS THAN ANYBODY. DATS WHY UR ALL FAGGETS. ALL BLACK MEN LUV PUSSY. DATS A FACT ***** . WE GOT NO GAY ASS FAGGETS LIKE U DO. I AINT A LIL FATASS WITE PUSSY BITCH WIT A LIL DIK HIDIN BEHIND MY KEYBOARD IN DA BASEMENT LIKE A BITCH. YOU WHITE FAGGETS IS JEALOUS OF DA BLACK MAN
BLACK POWER ******* !
OBAMA 2012!
User avatar #498 to #496 - mikhailovych (07/26/2012) [-]

You are all the biggest faggots I've ever seen and let me tell you: I've seen a lot of faggots in my life. I've been to my fair share of gay bars, I've seen my fair share of gay porn, I lurked my fair share of trap threads, I have been to plenty Boku No Pico streams, I ******* played Dragon Age 2 and beaten it, I even lurked a ******* LoL thread on /vg/, but never in all my years have I seen such a tremendous level of faggotry. I don't think words can effectively describe how much of a faggot you all are. If you were to make a thread, and I was to dump my 'OP is a faggot" folder and include every single copypasta calling you a faggot of various degrees, it wouldn't be enough. If I was to take every single post from every single trap and dragon dildo thread on /v/, the level of faggotry would pale in comparison to yours. If you were to post on /cm/, /hm/ or /y/, you would be instantly banned for being a ******* faggot. If I was to take every RPfag from every Gmod RP server, their combined faggotry would be dwarfed by yours. If you were to walk into the gayest gay bar on this side of gay, everyone would call you a massive faggot. If scientists were to one day make a giant ******* bomb that turns people gay, they would use all of your faggot DNA as a key ingredient. Quite frankly, I am confused as to how so many human beings can attain such an ungodly level of faggotry. ******* kill yourself and do the world a favor, you goddamn faggots.
User avatar #500 to #498 - mikhailovych (07/31/2012) [-]

From the weakness of the mind,Omnissiah save us
From the lies of the Antipath,circuit preserve us
From the rage of the Beast,iron protect us
From the temptations of the Flashlord,silica cleanse us
From the ravages of the Destroyer,anima shield us
From this rotting cage of biomatter,
Machine God set us free
User avatar #557 to #500 - mikhailovych (12/22/2012) [-]
They shall be my finest warriors, these men who give themselves to me.
Like clay I shall mould them and in the furnace of war I shall forge them.
They will be of iron will and steely muscle.
In great armour shall I clad them and with the mightiest gun shall they be armed.
They will be untouched by plague or disease, no sickness will blight them.
They will have tactics, strategies and machines such that no foe will best them in battle.
They are my bulwark against the terror.
They are the defenders of Humanity.
They are my Space Marines...
...and they shall know no fear
User avatar #516 to #500 - mikhailovych (09/04/2012) [-]

HOLY *********** MONKEYS ON A BUS.

Did you know that Nikola BADASS ************ Tesla used to bathe in Electricity?
He was all "You know, **** your water, i don't need that **** , i bathe in Zeus's product while you gargle in Neptunes sweat."
You think that's hardcore? Think twice douche fag, **** gets more intense.

Nikola Tesla died without banging single chick... Because, who the **** needs dames? He didn't, and he was a hard ass awesome son of a bitch, and hard ass awesome sons of bitches need no dames, he was married to SCIENCE, and they ******* made mad sweet love every night in the lab, giving godly birth to Alternating Current, The Modern Electric Motor, X - Ray, Neon, Robotics, Wireless Communication Systems, Advanced Laser and Radar Technology and even STAR WARS TACTICAL WARFARE.

Science was his Bitch, the world was his bitch... But he didn't bragged about it, because **** YOUR SWAG, he had class.

He created a ******* monster Tower called "Wardenclyffe Tower" that was able to light up electronical equipment WIRELESSLY (That means, Without Wires you dick goblin), using only the Mother ******* air as the vehicle for Electricity.
You think that's ******* Amazing? No, i'l show you whats amazing you small minded vermin.
This Wardenclyffe tower, could also ELECTRIFY THE WHOLE ******* WORLD, using the Ionosphere to conduct electricity, using Earth's own rotation to get electricity. (That's ******* badass, Zeuz would cry in shame.)
That means, FREE ELECTRICITY, for everyone, everywhere, mother ****** .


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