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btschweitzer

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Personal Info
Date Signed Up:7/14/2015
FunnyJunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#749
Comment Ranking:#8373
Highest Content Rank:#527
Highest Comment Rank:#7340
Content Thumbs: 5255 total,  6063 ,  808
Comment Thumbs: 203 total,  226 ,  23
Content Level Progress: 91% (91/100)
Level 140 Content: Faptastic → Level 141 Content: Faptastic
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Level 108 Comments: Funny Junkie → Level 109 Comments: Funny Junkie
Subscribers:44
Content Views:453540
Times Content Favorited:551 times
Total Comments Made:232
FJ Points:4249
Favorite Tags: horror (39) | OC (39) | writing (31) | fantasy (26) | Microfiction (23) | Sci Fi (19) | science fiction (15) | Halloween (10) | six word stories (8) | stories (8) | Christmas (6) | tacos (4) | candy (3) | Chicken Soup (2) | feels (2) | Nachos (2)

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latest user's comments

#2 - *her box. 12/27/2015 on Six Word Christmas - Part 5 0
#6 - Sorry for the wait was / am at a family thing. so a wed… 12/25/2015 on Six Word Christmas - Part 2 0
#2 - Which one?  [+] (2 new replies) 12/24/2015 on Six Word Christmas - Part 2 0
#4 - anon (12/24/2015) [-]
The diamond ring one.
#6 - btschweitzer (12/25/2015) [-]
Sorry for the wait was / am at a family thing. so a wedding ring polished on the inside means it's been slipped of often which means the spouse is being cheated on . Merry Christmas or Assorted Winter Holiday of Your Choosing!
#2 - Six word version: Honey, I shrunk the kids, again.  [+] (2 new replies) 12/18/2015 on Six Word Stories #3 +2
User avatar
#3 - stankebottoms (12/18/2015) [-]
Honey, I blew up the kid.
#5 - stankebottoms (12/19/2015) [-]
Honey, I blew up the kid (illustrated this time).
#14 - If you ever want to talk or something PM me. I'll listen. Good… 12/17/2015 on Six Word Stories #1 0
#2 - Lol yeah but I'm also a fan of Carmilla and it's a small… 12/16/2015 on Two Sentence Stories #26 +1
#49 - Oddly enough now that you've explained it it works really well…  [+] (1 new reply) 12/16/2015 on Six Word Stories #2 +1
User avatar
#50 - assrocket (12/16/2015) [-]
Thanks. I'll work on it a bit (and bug you by posting it here)
#47 - Bitte schon. 12/16/2015 on Six Word Stories #2 0
#45 - I really like most of these. Feels like you have a good grasp …  [+] (2 new replies) 12/16/2015 on Six Word Stories #2 +1
User avatar
#46 - inuyuru (12/16/2015) [-]
danke
#47 - btschweitzer (12/16/2015) [-]
Bitte schon.
#44 - I've actually seen what you wrote almost verbatim before. Trut… 12/16/2015 on Six Word Stories #2 0
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User avatar #3 - brokentail (12/18/2015) [-]
Six words.

One's selfimage and pulse. Negatively correlated.

Flatline blares. A family weeps openly.

"STAND!!" It demanded. "DIE WITH DIGNITY!"

Death seems comforting. Until you die.

Little food. No money. Big family.

Click. Click. Click. Bang. Russian roulette.

Dick. Dick. Dick. Tits. Chat roulette.

If only I could/had tell/told him/her/them.

Two sentences.

She was wrong, or lying, when she said she'd kill me if I ever cheated. As I pull the plug from the tub drain, allowing her lifeblood to fall away, I wonder how, or even if, I'll ever explain this to her family.

I miss her. She doesn't miss me.

There is a forked road whose street names are success and failure. These roads intersect time and time again as the road goes on, but you will never know that until you get out of your house and pick a path.

Six words, two sentences. No thumbs.

Thank you! You are very kind.

I will be here all week!
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User avatar #4 to #3 - brokentail (12/18/2015) [-]
You're safe with me. Well, maybe.

A beast dwells inside of you.

"Pick your moment." I picked wrong.
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User avatar #1 - alfonshister (11/01/2015) [-]
Random guess out of nowhere,
Could it be that you are older than the average user of this site?
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#2 to #1 - btschweitzer (11/01/2015) [-]
I mean I know like half of them are high schoolers but I'm only 23 so......................
 
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