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Rank #14456 on CommentsLevel 130 Comments: Respected Member Of Famiry
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|Date Signed Up:||11/03/2010|
|Funnyjunk Career Stats|
|Highest Content Rank:||#21645|
|Highest Comment Rank:||#5270|
|Content Thumbs:||2 total, 5 , 3|
|Comment Thumbs:||404 total, 434 , 30|
|Content Level Progress:|| 10.16% (6/59) |
Level 0 Content: Untouched account → Level 1 Content: New Here
|Comment Level Progress:|| 20% (2/10) |
Level 130 Comments: Respected Member Of Famiry → Level 131 Comments: Respected Member Of Famiry
|Total Comments Made:||50|
latest user's comments
|#36 - Can confirm live several blocks west of feliciana st [+] (1 new reply)||01/14/2015 on canadian jackass||+2|
|#46 - There was a guy from Kentucky in our boot camp. He never reall… [+] (1 new reply)||01/13/2015 on (untitled)||+6|
|#45 - inb4 copy pasta||01/13/2015 on (untitled)||0|
|#44 - Story time! In Basic Training 9 years ago at Fort Ben… [+] (9 new replies)||01/13/2015 on (untitled)||+39|
#69 - straitedge (01/13/2015) [-]
BCT, Fort Jackson, Summer 2012 (This is a personal experience, mind you).
One day, me and my platoon are practicing taking apart our rifles when our DS announced that he was going to have a competition for who could take apart an M16, blindfolded, and put it back together again the fastest.
A week earlier, I had won a drill comp and my reward was a nice bit of contraband; a bag of skittles. Needless to say, I shared with everyone (one skittle per person, two for my bunkmate).
Some douchecanoe named Weaver absolutely loved Skittles and was pissed that he only got one. So, like a dumbass, he asked if there was gonna be a reward.
"A reward?" Drill Sergeant asked in a mocking voice, "Sure! What do you want?"
This man was known for his sense of humor that usually left us laughing, as well as sweating profusely from doing PT in full battle rattle.
"A bag of Skittles!" shouted private dumbshit. Mostly everyone groaned.
"A bag of Skittles? Okay... yeah, I can do that. Do you want anything else?"
Death stares are being cast upon this man, as we all know what's really going to happen.
"A bag of chips!" Shouted another private. Clearly too excited to realize what's going to happen.
"Okay," Drill Sergeant says with a shit eating grin, "A bag of skittles, a bag of chips, aaaaand... fuck it, how about I bring in a TV as well? Yeah. I'll do that. You fuckers sit tight and keep practicing weapon dis-assembly. I'll be riiiiight back."
As soon as he left, curse words were thrown out, prayers were made, and people went to the bathroom to go shit themselves in anticipation.
15 minutes later, Drill Sergeant strolls in, obviously without a TV, bag of chips, or skittles. The entire room calls, "AT EASE." and we all go to parade rest.
"Alright, alriiight... GET THE FUCK ON THE GROUND. Front leaning rest, RIGHT NOW."
We obey. We assume the pushup position. We know what's about to happen (or so we thought."
#70 - straitedge (01/13/2015) [-]
Drill Sergeant takes a little bit of a pause to make us start sweating. He finally speaks up, "Alright ya fucks, get in the plank position."
We begrudgingly obey.
"Now, put only the tips of your boots and elbows on the ground and put your hand on your face. Pretend that you're watching TV."
We look confused, and he sees that.
"Start flipping through the channels."
So we keep one hand on our faces and act like we're using remotes with the other. A few of us start laughing.
"Some of you shitbags find Comedy Central? I FUCKING HATE COMEDY CENTRAL. Your punishment for finding a channel I don't like is to start eating chips from the bowls in front of you!"
There were obviously none, but we proceeded to grab invisible chips out of the non-existent bowl anyway.
"Cool, cool. Hey, your phones ringing. Pick it up."
We do so. There's a pause.
"ARE YOU ALL GOING TO FUCKING GREET THE CALLER? HOLY SHIT."
Introductions are being screamed left and right. Some dude next to me farts aggressively and DS hears it. Of course, most of us start chuckling.
"Hey, turns out that was your girlfriend. She said that you're a pussy and she doesn't like it when you giggle at hot air passing over shit, so she's breaking up with you."
"Awwwwwwwwwww" sounds through the room.
"Don't worry warriors, I have the perfect remedy. You have 2 minutes to get your full gear on. Get moving."
We jump up and do so. We then proceed to get smoked in over 40 pounds of gear for roughly 2 hours. Parts of it included pushups, pullups, dancing with our weapons since we were "lonely" and all of us simultaneously chanting, "Thank you, Dumbass" as we did more pushups while Skittles watched us.
Shit was magical.
#75 - straitedge (01/13/2015) [-]
When we left, 60 men started singing, "Ain't no mountain hiiiiigh enough. Ain't no valley looooow enough."
We didn't realize that the door was open, so the sound traveled downstairs and into the First Sergeants ears. Next thing we know, we're doing pushups while we practice "do-reh-me-fah-so.." (I forgot the rest.)
The best singers had to serenade a tree and compete for it's attention.
Thank God I suck at singing.
#46 - boydlito (01/13/2015) [-]
There was a guy from Kentucky in our boot camp. He never really saw an airplane close up until he got to boot camp and they were constantly flying low enough to see and hear them. We'd be marching and the Kentuckian kept rubber necking to watch the plane instead of keeping his head forward like he was supposed. The instructor ran over to him and yelled, "do you like planes!" The next thing I know is we're marching without him and he's in the middle of the parade field (grinder) standing at attention. Everytime a plane flew over, he pointed at it and yelled as loud as he could, "de plane! de plane". When the plane left he went back to standing at attention.
|#3 - Sauce?||01/04/2015 on How2 Summon a Kalashnikov||0|
|#5 - envois||12/18/2014 on Tastes like chicken||0|
|#4 - Veins [+] (1 new reply)||12/18/2014 on Tastes like chicken||0|
|#15 - Yes he is a lot of other top posts are "my cat did this&q…||12/18/2014 on MRW my 15yo bro wants babies||0|
|#7 - Most everything on this site is ripped from reddit/ imgur with… [+] (2 new replies)||12/17/2014 on MRW my 15yo bro wants babies||0|
|#37 - It was already over? is that the joke? [+] (1 new reply)||12/16/2014 on Ear Worm||0|