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benfordham  

Rank #6884 on Content
benfordham Avatar Level 217 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Gender: male
Date Signed Up:8/04/2011
Last Login:5/23/2013
Location:England
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#6884
Comment Ranking:#20901
Highest Content Rank:#1758
Highest Comment Rank:#4818
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Level 217 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 218 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Favorite Tags: i love you (3) | You are awesome (2)

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#875 - hongtonggobblenuts (05/05/2013) [-]
So his name is Harold
User avatar #876 to #875 - benfordham ONLINE (05/05/2013) [-]
He looks awesome!
#868 to #867 - benfordham ONLINE (05/05/2013) [-]
Hello.
User avatar #869 to #868 - hongtonggobblenuts (05/05/2013) [-]
Damn, you did it better than me! How?
User avatar #870 to #869 - benfordham ONLINE (05/05/2013) [-]
I can not tell you my good sir...Secrets
User avatar #871 to #870 - hongtonggobblenuts (05/05/2013) [-]
Dammit you

whats up
User avatar #872 to #871 - benfordham ONLINE (05/05/2013) [-]
Nothing. Whats up with you?
User avatar #873 to #872 - hongtonggobblenuts (05/05/2013) [-]
Well, I got a cat about 3 days ago. Today, I accidentally scared the shit out of him, and he got very scared because he's very new to the house and he's hiding REALLY good, lol. So me and my dad are trying to find him.
User avatar #874 to #873 - benfordham ONLINE (05/05/2013) [-]
Oh coool! Picture, picture, picture!! Do you have a name for him? Could he win in a hide and seek competition against Bin Laden and Anne Frank?
#859 - hongtonggobblenuts (04/10/2013) [-]
Hey dude! How is the job searching?
Hey dude! How is the job searching?
User avatar #860 to #859 - benfordham ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
I think I pee'd myself at that .gif!!

It sucks...Big time! Applied for a job at a local pet shop but didn't get it. Mostly because retired vets and shit applied for the job also. Just need a basic job until I'm 18 and then I'm going to apply for the police.

How are you and shizz?
User avatar #861 to #860 - hongtonggobblenuts (04/11/2013) [-]
You should deliver pizzas. I'm doing alright, but schoolwork is REALLY rustling my jimmies.
User avatar #862 to #861 - benfordham ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
Can't drive :( I need the money from a job to pay for driving lessons and a car.

Oh, that's shit. Got any exams coming up?
User avatar #863 to #862 - hongtonggobblenuts (04/11/2013) [-]
Ha, what a stupid suggestion of me!

So yeah, alot of homework. But no, my next exams are in June. Oh, and did I already tell you I dodged a bullet in math exams? I got a 66%. A 66% is basicially a D. Woo, just made it! and for geography and 75%.
User avatar #864 to #863 - benfordham ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
Safely scraped it!
#855 - hongtonggobblenuts (03/27/2013) [-]
Hey man, how's it going? I'm doing alright, playing some minecraft. I got a sweet ass cobblestone wall around my whole house with a small tower. Here's a pic.

And another thing, I was out hunting in one of the large jungle trees near my house looking for prey, and I saw a skeleton wearing full body gold armor! I was like HOREY SHET!! So then I took the vine down to the ground ready to murder the skeleton. Until a fucking creeper blows me up. I spawn in my house, and was the skeleton there? NO, because it turned daytime. Juuust great... How are YOU?

and by the way, I saw the skeleton a few seconds after I took the pic.
#856 to #855 - benfordham ONLINE (03/27/2013) [-]
Hey dude. I'm alright, stressed but alright. Job hunting is such a bitch haha!

It's looking sweet! Yeah, zombies and skeletons look so badass when they're wearing armor/armour! I got a chain mail helmet of a skeleton one time. Creepers are assholes!!! (Tip: Some zombies and skeletons can pick up armour and weapons. Randomly throw some armour or a weapon at either a skeleton or zombie and sometimes, they'll pick them up. You can throw a sword at a skeleton and it will swap out its bow for the weapon.)

User avatar #857 to #856 - hongtonggobblenuts (03/27/2013) [-]
Yeah I hear job searching can be a pain in the ass.

And I should try the swapping thing.
User avatar #858 to #857 - benfordham ONLINE (03/27/2013) [-]
It is. It sucks!!

If you give a skeleton a sword, they wont shoot arrows at you. They also don't despawn so you can keep them forever!! Yaaaay...
User avatar #847 - hongtonggobblenuts (03/03/2013) [-]
FUCK THIS SHIT MAN

I'M SO DONE WITH NO FAP MARCH. I CAN'T TAKE IT

How are you?
User avatar #848 to #847 - benfordham ONLINE (03/03/2013) [-]
You disappoint me Mr Gobblenuts!

I'm good. It's 6am here and I haven't slept so I'm a little tired but feeling good. How about you?
User avatar #849 to #848 - hongtonggobblenuts (03/03/2013) [-]
I'm sorry, man! I've let you down. I just found myself doing it at like 3:00 AM.

Well I went to a basketball game last night. When I left to go to the bathroom, I was looking at my phone because I thought I felt it vibrate but it didn't, (forever alone), But I didn't read the bathroom sign that said "WOMEN'S WASHROOM" So when I walked in I was like what the fuck where are the urinals but then I was like OSHITOSHITOSHIT and then this random guy behind me was like "haha wrong one buddy"


I'll just pretend that didn't happen.
User avatar #850 to #849 - benfordham ONLINE (03/03/2013) [-]
Haha! There's always next year.

Oh God, lol! I'd die from embarrassment.
#851 to #850 - hongtonggobblenuts (03/03/2013) [-]
Once when I was 12,  I was at my local swimming pool to go swimming, I was on my DS playing pokemon walking to the change rooms, but it was the women's change room, so then there was this hot blonde chick showering and I was like "GIGGITY GIGGITY GOO" she didn't see me because she had her eyes closed but thank God I ran out of there just in time, lol.
Once when I was 12, I was at my local swimming pool to go swimming, I was on my DS playing pokemon walking to the change rooms, but it was the women's change room, so then there was this hot blonde chick showering and I was like "GIGGITY GIGGITY GOO" she didn't see me because she had her eyes closed but thank God I ran out of there just in time, lol.
User avatar #852 to #851 - benfordham ONLINE (03/03/2013) [-]
Just in time to take a few pictures, right?!
User avatar #853 to #852 - hongtonggobblenuts (03/03/2013) [-]
Nope... ;( I have failed you again
User avatar #854 to #853 - benfordham ONLINE (03/03/2013) [-]
Damn! Lucky for you, I'm a forgiving man.
User avatar #839 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/22/2013) [-]
HATH ANYONE PROCURED A SHIPMENT OF HONG TONG GOBBLE NUTS LATELY? FOR I FEAR MY KNICKERS ARE TWADDLING AT THE BIT MOMENTARILY

#HONGTONGNATION


How have you been doing lately?
User avatar #840 to #839 - benfordham ONLINE (02/22/2013) [-]
I laughed so hard at that! I've been good thanks. Have the flu but it's getting better. How have you been?
#841 to #840 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/22/2013) [-]
Oh, man! The flu fucking SUCKS. I've been building this in minecraft for the hell of it. And, I'm very happy because it's friday.
User avatar #842 to #841 - benfordham ONLINE (02/22/2013) [-]
I'm glad its finally going though.

What's inside it? Is it cookies?

Friday's are always good!!
User avatar #843 to #842 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/22/2013) [-]
Well, do you remember when we first started chatting and I built that stone brick base and there was a village beside it? It's pretty much going to be like that. Damn, was I stupid for deleting that. I haven't figured out what should be inside it, though.
User avatar #844 to #843 - benfordham ONLINE (02/22/2013) [-]
Oh shit, yeah! Make a villager concentration camp.

Sorry if you're Jewish.
User avatar #845 to #844 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/22/2013) [-]
Jew take that back!! No, I'm Italian Canadian so it's all good.
User avatar #846 to #845 - benfordham ONLINE (02/22/2013) [-]
Oh Jew!
User avatar #837 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/19/2013) [-]
Oh, and do you know that Danelectro DC-59 that Jimmy Page played in "In my time of dying"? the black one? when I was in the US, me and my dad went to this massive guitar store, and apparently they had that guitar that was supposedly owned by God. AND I ACTUALLY GOT TO PLAY IT! (Jimmy Page)! that explains why it was $800 dollars. It's supposed to be like maybe $250.
User avatar #838 to #837 - benfordham ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
You lucky fucker!
User avatar #831 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/19/2013) [-]
I HAVE ONE OF DAVE GROHL'S GUITAR PICKS HOLY FUCK
User avatar #832 to #831 - benfordham ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
Now I don't want no trouble, so just hand it over nice and slow.
User avatar #833 to #832 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/19/2013) [-]
You will have to come get it! :)
User avatar #834 to #833 - benfordham ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
I'm on my way!
User avatar #835 to #834 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/19/2013) [-]
And I'm pretty sure I'm also getting an autograph, too. He didn't sign the pick
User avatar #836 to #835 - benfordham ONLINE (02/19/2013) [-]
Ohh cool!
User avatar #816 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/17/2013) [-]
And excuse me for my fucked up avatar, it was a "dubs choose my avatar"; thing.
User avatar #818 to #816 - benfordham ONLINE (02/17/2013) [-]
Haha, is that Nicolas Cage?
User avatar #824 to #820 - benfordham ONLINE (02/18/2013) [-]
Looking good.
User avatar #814 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/17/2013) [-]
Hey, dude. So how has your day been? I've been jamming on the guitar all morning. I went to this cool record store and I got a Nirvana CD. It's called "Sliver" and it has a bunch of very rare unreleased nirvana songs. I also learned that enderman are scary as fuck. Did some enderman hunting, too. How was your day?
User avatar #817 to #814 - benfordham ONLINE (02/17/2013) [-]
My days been good. Went out today to Cambridge with a friend. Just looked for random junk. Got Shawshank Redemption steelbook (favourite film). Saw some red hot chili peppers, beatles, jimi hendrix, rolling stones and a ton more awesome vinyls. Nearly bought some beatles vinyls but didn't in the end.

Ohh nice!! Hope you've listened to it!!

Black man coming to steal your watermelon and chicken...Don't look
User avatar #819 to #817 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/18/2013) [-]
Funny, because here in Canada we have a place called Cambridge! I fucking LOVE Jimi and all the otherbands you've mentioned. I also learned that in 1985, Kurt Cobain's singing was fucking AWFUL. And yes, right now I'm messing around in creative and I have seen an enderman walking away with my watermelon.
User avatar #821 to #819 - benfordham ONLINE (02/18/2013) [-]
You stole it!

Oh dear haha! Are we talking terrible or just mediocre?

Kill that motherfucker and get it back!

User avatar #822 to #821 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/18/2013) [-]
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPrEjXdZeeA I love this song, but oh god the singing

User avatar #825 to #822 - benfordham ONLINE (02/18/2013) [-]
The singing is terrible!
User avatar #826 to #825 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/18/2013) [-]
But his guitar his jamming, though! As well with Krist on bass and Aaron on drums.
User avatar #828 to #826 - benfordham ONLINE (02/18/2013) [-]
Is Nirvana your favourite band?
User avatar #829 to #828 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/18/2013) [-]
I dunno man. I'm trying to decide between nirvana or the smashing pumpkins. that's just for grunge. but for classic rock, I'm trying to decide if I like Pink Floyd or Led Zeppelin better. tough decision :(
User avatar #830 to #829 - benfordham ONLINE (02/18/2013) [-]
Very tough decision!
User avatar #827 to #826 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/18/2013) [-]
and note that Dave Grohl was not in the band yet, it was Aaron Burckhard.
User avatar #823 to #822 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/18/2013) [-]
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9N4cQ2bbb6Q I like this version much better.
User avatar #815 to #814 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/17/2013) [-]
I also learned that if you don't bother enderman too much, they won't really bother you.
User avatar #800 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/15/2013) [-]
Hi! How has the building been?
User avatar #801 to #800 - benfordham ONLINE (02/16/2013) [-]
Haven't really played much today. Started a new Skyrim save so I've been rocking through that mostly.
User avatar #802 to #801 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/16/2013) [-]
nice! How have you been doing on that?
User avatar #803 to #802 - benfordham ONLINE (02/16/2013) [-]
Not too bad. Enjoying it again so far. Have you got Skyrim?
User avatar #804 to #803 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/16/2013) [-]
Nope. I don't own any game console.


damn am I pathetic
Basicially, what do you do?
User avatar #805 to #804 - benfordham ONLINE (02/16/2013) [-]
Ahh, that sucks!

What do you do in Skyrim?
User avatar #806 to #805 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/16/2013) [-]
I might get an xbox or something. I dunno. So yes, what do you basicially do in Skyrim? I know you slay dragons in shit, but what else
User avatar #807 to #806 - benfordham ONLINE (02/16/2013) [-]
NOO! Get a PS3!

It's a role playing game. You can do pretty much whatever. Choose a race (all have their benefits) and what gameplay you want to do (mage, assassin, warrior) and go kill shit. Bunch of stuff that you can do.
User avatar #808 to #807 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/16/2013) [-]
HOLY SHIT DUDE I CAN'T DECIDE I CAN'T CHOOSE DAMMIT WHICH IS BETTER

Okay I'll try to get a PS3
User avatar #811 to #808 - benfordham ONLINE (02/16/2013) [-]
Get a PS3! I have ooonnnnnneeee!!!
User avatar #810 to #809 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/16/2013) [-]
And the game sounds very cool
User avatar #794 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/14/2013) [-]
DUDE DUDE DUDE PORNHUB PREMIUM IS FREE TODAY ONLY


GET YOUR ASS IN THERE
User avatar #795 to #794 - benfordham ONLINE (02/14/2013) [-]
OH MY GAWD!
User avatar #796 to #795 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/14/2013) [-]
OH goddammit you have to make a fucking account
User avatar #797 to #796 - benfordham ONLINE (02/14/2013) [-]
I can survive without it I think. Don't want my emails to get spammed by porn
User avatar #798 to #797 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/14/2013) [-]
Yeah, same... I heard the popup reminding you about your account can come up any moment.
User avatar #799 to #798 - benfordham ONLINE (02/14/2013) [-]
Would be bad as my emails come through my phone
User avatar #783 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/14/2013) [-]
Happy Valentines day! Who is your valentine?
User avatar #784 to #783 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/14/2013) [-]
Mine is my left hand. <3
User avatar #785 to #784 - benfordham ONLINE (02/14/2013) [-]
Aww, that's so sweet! Mine is my right hand.
#786 to #785 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/14/2013) [-]
Best valentines day EVER
User avatar #787 to #786 - benfordham ONLINE (02/14/2013) [-]
If you two get busy, make sure old lefty wears protection.
User avatar #789 to #788 - benfordham ONLINE (02/14/2013) [-]
Herpes man.
That shit burns.
User avatar #790 to #789 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/14/2013) [-]
Just kidding I'm wearing protection
User avatar #792 to #790 - benfordham ONLINE (02/14/2013) [-]
All good then
User avatar #791 to #790 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/14/2013) [-]
But I won't get to see my girlfriend for a month because I'm doing no fap march.

Wish me luck
#793 to #791 - benfordham ONLINE (02/14/2013) [-]
Good luck!
User avatar #781 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/12/2013) [-]
there is a guy on here named hongchinggobblenut. what.
User avatar #813 to #812 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/16/2013) [-]
Oh hey there
User avatar #782 to #781 - benfordham ONLINE (02/12/2013) [-]
Oh snap!
User avatar #778 to #777 - benfordham ONLINE (02/09/2013) [-]
HAHA!! Bet that gets you in the mood.
User avatar #779 to #778 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/09/2013) [-]
Lol! But it's not mine. I just thought it was funny. I saw it on facebook and I felt bad for the poor guy
User avatar #780 to #779 - benfordham ONLINE (02/09/2013) [-]
I feel bad for him too. Make's me grateful that my mum/mom never sends me texts like that.
#763 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/02/2013) [-]
Greetings, comrade!
I think yesterday, you know how I was talking about that cave near the plains. fuck that mine. Because I just found an AMAZING mine seriously under my house. Who knew? Didn't find much. Just alot of iron, stone and coal. A bunch of sand landed on me, but I saved myself at the last life.


pic related, the main part of the mine
User avatar #765 to #763 - benfordham ONLINE (02/02/2013) [-]
Looks huge. How far down does it go?
User avatar #767 to #765 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/02/2013) [-]
It goes down pretty far. Not that far, but, I found some stuff. No strongholds though :(
User avatar #768 to #767 - benfordham ONLINE (02/02/2013) [-]
Any diamonds further down? No strongholds? That sucks then.
User avatar #769 to #768 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/02/2013) [-]
Nah, didn't see any diamonds... yet.
User avatar #770 to #769 - benfordham ONLINE (02/02/2013) [-]
Keep looking! Any mineshafts at all?
User avatar #771 to #770 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/02/2013) [-]
I didn't see any. But I'm at the house right now. That's enough mining for today, because a got lost quite a few times lol!
User avatar #772 to #771 - benfordham ONLINE (02/02/2013) [-]
That's a shame. Haha, we've all been there! Got any plans for the house or other projects?
User avatar #773 to #772 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/02/2013) [-]
Right now, my main thing is to figure what the hell to do with the 2nd floor, because there is really nothing up there. Got any ideas? I tried googling it but alot of the results are way to complicated. They involve alot of redstone, and I only have like 3 redstones.
User avatar #774 to #773 - benfordham ONLINE (02/02/2013) [-]
Make an enchanting and potion room? What sort of redstone things did you have in mind?
User avatar #775 to #774 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/02/2013) [-]
Alot of them just said redstone experiment room. A potion room, I never understood that. I need to find diamonds to make a diamond pic, and get obsidian to make an enchanting table. I am thinking of an art gallery.
User avatar #776 to #775 - benfordham ONLINE (02/02/2013) [-]
Ohh okay! I wouldn't bother with an experiment room when you can experiment in a creative world. A potion room you'd have a few chests for ingredients and some brewing stands. An art gallery would be cool!
#764 to #763 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/02/2013) [-]
And, is it normal for squids to be inside of caves?
User avatar #766 to #764 - benfordham ONLINE (02/02/2013) [-]
I get that sometimes too. Damn nature!
#761 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/01/2013) [-]
Do you like my chest? I think this is a sexy chest. 11/10 would bang
User avatar #762 to #761 - benfordham ONLINE (02/01/2013) [-]
It burns!!
#754 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/01/2013) [-]
Holy gosh man

Look at this mountain

LOOK AT IT
That is not a chunk error. I was actually exploring after a night of fighting mobs, I couldn't find my house, again, so yeah. The boat thing was a huge waste of time. Barely found anything. But, I did get some good pictures.
#756 to #754 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/01/2013) [-]
A desert hill a jumped off of and landed on a creeper
User avatar #759 to #756 - benfordham ONLINE (02/01/2013) [-]
Did you crush him like a Goomba in Mario?
#757 to #756 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/01/2013) [-]
Should I? Damn this is tempting. I REALLY don't want to die but I know there is lots of iron in there damn. It's right near my house, so I CAN'T get lost. Decisions decisions.
User avatar #758 to #757 - hongtonggobblenuts (02/01/2013) [-]
I'll tell you what, fuck it, I'm going in.
User avatar #760 to #758 - benfordham ONLINE (02/01/2013) [-]
Do it! Do it! Do it!
User avatar #755 to #754 - benfordham ONLINE (02/01/2013) [-]
Holy shit, that's so purty!
User avatar #742 - hongtonggobblenuts (01/30/2013) [-]
Hooray! The exam is finally over! Back to minecraft! Have you been building anything lately? I just finished the second level of my house
User avatar #743 to #742 - benfordham ONLINE (01/30/2013) [-]
Yay! How do you think it went? I've started a new survival world and building an under ground base. I've planned it all out in a creative world so it should look pretty amazing when it's done. How is your house coming along?
User avatar #744 to #743 - hongtonggobblenuts (01/30/2013) [-]
I think the exam went pretty well. How big is this underground base going to be? Don't accidently delete it this time, haha! The house is going good, but right now I'm exploring other parts of this map. Right now I'm walking along the desert and looking for that village I found a long while ago.
User avatar #746 to #744 - benfordham ONLINE (01/30/2013) [-]
That's good. Haha, I'll make sure this time! Backup I've got it pictured in my head. It's a huge temple looking thing on the top, and then a hole in the middle which you drop down into like a water elevator. You then drop into the main room which is 31x31. Has a walk way, portals and beacons in the main hub and then there is 4 corridors that have different rooms. One corridor leads to a chest room, the other leads to an enchanting room and potion room, the other leads to all my farms (wheat, carrots, potatoes, melons, pumpkins, sugarcane, netherwart and trees and the other leads to animals. Sounds complicated but its all planned in my noggin. Do you know where abouts the village is then?
User avatar #748 to #746 - hongtonggobblenuts (01/30/2013) [-]
Holy fuck
That's high tech
User avatar #749 to #748 - benfordham ONLINE (01/30/2013) [-]
Hell yeah. I've planned it on a creative superflat world. When I've built a good portion of it I'll send you some pictures.
User avatar #745 to #744 - hongtonggobblenuts (01/30/2013) [-]
Oh, and I was walking along this desert, and I saw this big ocean. So, I just ran back to the house, built a boat and now I'm planning to sail away. I'm not actually leaving my house, I'm just wondering about the near biomes.
User avatar #747 to #745 - benfordham ONLINE (01/30/2013) [-]
Take a screen shot or write down the cords for your house so you know where it is.
User avatar #750 to #747 - hongtonggobblenuts (01/30/2013) [-]
Will do! And no, I couldn't find the village :(
User avatar #751 to #750 - benfordham ONLINE (01/30/2013) [-]
Ahh, that's a shame
User avatar #752 to #751 - hongtonggobblenuts (01/30/2013) [-]
Oh, wait! I literally JUST found it! Nothing exciting though. Took all the crap out of there. But now, I've stumbled across a cavern/cave below the ocean. Aw damn son, this is tempting as hell. Should I stay or should I go? If I go there will be troubleee
User avatar #753 to #752 - benfordham ONLINE (01/30/2013) [-]
Yay!!
What a song! You should give it a look.
User avatar #738 - hongtonggobblenuts (01/28/2013) [-]
Dude, I'm going to get an autograph by Dave fucking GROHL!
User avatar #739 to #738 - benfordham ONLINE (01/28/2013) [-]
WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
User avatar #740 to #739 - hongtonggobblenuts (01/28/2013) [-]
Yeah, because my dad knows a guy who knows Dave Grohl, this guy is hanging out with Dave on the tour, and he can tell him that I'm a huge nirvana and foo fighters fan, and autograph something!
User avatar #741 to #740 - benfordham ONLINE (01/28/2013) [-]
Sick!
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