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Level 175 Comments: Soldier Of Funnyjunk
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What people say about austton
latest user's comments
Mans best friend
Towels: How do they work?
- Who buys leggings that are the same as a skin color?
The UnNaked Truth
- Assassin's Creed suburbs addition?
going to the movies
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Perspective or some shit
I must have it!
- What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you little bi…
Call of Duty Skills
Nice overused copypasta.
What in God's name did you say about our Good Lord, son of God? I'll have you know that I graduated at the top of my class in Bible studies, and I've been that involved in numerous secret prayer services for the sick, and I have performed over 300 confirmed miracles. I am trained in extended prayer and I'm the top minister in the entire Christian faith. You are nothing to me but a child of God. I will pray for you with precision the likes of which have never been seen before on this Earth, mark my holy words. You think you can get away with speaking blasphemy over the Internet? Think again, my child. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of nuns and your IP address is being traced right now, so you better prepare for the prayer service, my child. The prayer service that wipes out the sins you've committed. You're going to go to heaven, kid. I can be anywhere at anytime, and I can pray for you in over 700 different ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I trained extensively in unarmed prayer, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Church's rosaries, and I will use it to the full extent to wipe your sins off the face of the Earth, you son of God. If only you could have known what holy retribution your "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your blasphemous tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're being prayed for, my son. I will splash holy water all over you and you will drown in it. You're going to Heaven, kiddo.
By the Nine Divines! What did you just say about me, you little skeeverbutt? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the College of Winterhold, and I've been known to cast one hell of a fireball, and I have over 300 confirmed summons. I am trained in daedric warfare and I'm the swords master of the entire Imperial forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will make you beg to Akatosh as I bend you over like a common whelp, mark my words, on my oath as the Dovahkiin. You think you can come into my mind through this magic device and insult me? Think again, scum. As we speak I have every assassin and thief across all of Tamriel looking for your initial position so you better prepare for the storm atronach, you Draugr. The storm atronach that wipes out the pathetic little husk you call your life. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my dragon shouts! Not only am I extensively trained in archery and horseback riding, but I have access to the entire congregation of the Thieves Guild, Dark Brotherhood, Mages College, and untold hordes of Daedric warriors, and I will use every one of them to banish you to the plane of Oblivion. If only you could have had the clairvoyance to see what divine retribution your little "clever" runes were about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your tongue you dark skin. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will become the embodiment of Mehrunes Dagon, and open a portal to Oblivion the likes of which you have never seen. You're fucking dead, milk-drinker.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you worthless heretic? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Space Marines, and I've led an incomprehensible number of secret raids against the forces of chaos, and I have over 30 million confirmed purgings. I am trained in armored warfare and I'm the top Grey Knight in all the Space Marine Chapters. You are nothing to me but just another heretic. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this universe, mark my fucking words.
You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Warp? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the galaxy and your powers are being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bolter.
Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Adeptus Mechanicus and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the planet, you little shit. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot.
I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you
This is just beautiful.
Grey Knights are best knights.
Warhammer 40k is the shit!
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