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applescryatnight

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Date Signed Up:7/23/2012
Last Login:1/13/2016
FunnyJunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#3024
Comment Ranking:#1080
Highest Content Rank:#632
Highest Comment Rank:#89
Content Thumbs: 7883 total,  8742 ,  859
Comment Thumbs: 50036 total,  53715 ,  3679
Content Level Progress: 5% (5/100)
Level 165 Content: Soldier Of Funnyjunk → Level 166 Content: Soldier Of Funnyjunk
Comment Level Progress: 11.9% (119/1000)
Level 341 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 342 Comments: Sold Soul
Subscribers:22
Content Views:447001
Times Content Favorited:176 times
Total Comments Made:7316
FJ Points:40441
Favorite Tags: Fat (2)

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latest user's comments

#6 - DAMN IMMIGRANTS STEALING ALL THE GOOD JOBS! 7 hours ago on /pol/ comp +4
#9 - leg press is on another scale though. like i can leg press 400… 10 hours ago on How I get out of Bed 0
#5 - but 40 lbs is not even enough to brag about thats like a g…  [+] (2 new replies) 15 hours ago on How I get out of Bed +2
User avatar
#8 - jvair (12 hours ago) [-]
damn, that's how much ai press.
not enough brag about,
that's like bragging about 70 lbs leg press
#9 - applescryatnight (10 hours ago) [-]
leg press is on another scale though. like i can leg press 400 pounds but i cant squat (which is an equivalent exercise) more than 200 pounds.
bragging about 70 pound leg press is like bragging that you can jump. it would be silly (and a little sad) if you couldnt.
#5 - well its a static hold. like a plank i can guarantee … 01/12/2016 on Russian crossfit 0
#3 - man this guy is doing person flies. i can barely do cable flie…  [+] (4 new replies) 01/12/2016 on How I get out of Bed 0
#4 - anon (16 hours ago) [-]
#Humblebrag
#5 - applescryatnight (15 hours ago) [-]
but 40 lbs is not even enough to brag about
thats like a guy bragging about his 135 lbs bench press
User avatar
#8 - jvair (12 hours ago) [-]
damn, that's how much ai press.
not enough brag about,
that's like bragging about 70 lbs leg press
#9 - applescryatnight (10 hours ago) [-]
leg press is on another scale though. like i can leg press 400 pounds but i cant squat (which is an equivalent exercise) more than 200 pounds.
bragging about 70 pound leg press is like bragging that you can jump. it would be silly (and a little sad) if you couldnt.
#11 - chances are they are measuring their caloric intake improperly…  [+] (1 new reply) 01/11/2016 on College 0
#12 - makeman (01/11/2016) [-]
Yeah, all of that plays a part. All I'm saying is that it is harder for some due to multiple reasons, such as not being able to eat as much and of course the metabolism thing. Everyone is able to gain weight but it is genuinely harder for other people. And you also mentioned genetics, which is pretty much what people are talking about when they are talking about "high metabolism". I also agree that the type of calories affects weight gain greatly.

I don't personally know the people I was talking about, but they are somewhat experts on this topic, and even made a book about it, so I doubt that they were estimating their diets incorrectly.

But what do I know? I'm on my way to gaining weight as well now, since starting to lift and overeating (healthy) food. At least I hope.
#10 - weird, short people generally gain weight faster. have yo… 01/11/2016 on College +1
#7 - high metabolism doesnt have as high of an impact as that. at t…  [+] (5 new replies) 01/11/2016 on College +1
#9 - makeman (01/11/2016) [-]
I mean I know people who literally had to consume +3000 kcals a day and lift a lot to get their weight going up, so I would say that there is a fairly big difference on how people gain mass relative to how much they eat (especially fat).
#11 - applescryatnight (01/11/2016) [-]
chances are they are measuring their caloric intake improperly.
unless they eat only canned or packaged food, or they have a food scale and they know the calories per unit of weight that they use, then their caloric estimates are hardly accurate.
and a person at around 150 pounds, around 5'10", should be eating 2300 calories a day at maintenance levels, meaning to gain weight, it is a requirement to shoot high above that.
if they are above 6 feet tall, eating 3000 calories a day would still be a slow way to gain weight.

protein intake and genetics are also important factors, in that the percentage of weight that you gain that is muscle is dependent on those factors, but if you eat more, you will gain weight.
#12 - makeman (01/11/2016) [-]
Yeah, all of that plays a part. All I'm saying is that it is harder for some due to multiple reasons, such as not being able to eat as much and of course the metabolism thing. Everyone is able to gain weight but it is genuinely harder for other people. And you also mentioned genetics, which is pretty much what people are talking about when they are talking about "high metabolism". I also agree that the type of calories affects weight gain greatly.

I don't personally know the people I was talking about, but they are somewhat experts on this topic, and even made a book about it, so I doubt that they were estimating their diets incorrectly.

But what do I know? I'm on my way to gaining weight as well now, since starting to lift and overeating (healthy) food. At least I hope.
User avatar
#8 - reloadedhamster (01/11/2016) [-]
Id say i have a well rounded diet, im a short skinny body type, had a doctor tell me to eat whatever i can whenever i can. I do that but still, no weight gain. Makes trying to work out a bitch to do.
#10 - applescryatnight (01/11/2016) [-]
weird, short people generally gain weight faster.
have you tried running and/or interval training? they increase growth hormone and help with resource management in the body.
maybe eating a handful of peanuts or sunflower seeds and a glass of milk with every meal?
they have tons of calories, and 200-300 calories of peanuts, is not a lot of peanuts.
#17 - grandpa: cancer dad: cancer me: funnyjunk at … 01/11/2016 on Anon won the genetic lottery +26
#132 - if you think someone is a dick for giving an opinion you dont … 01/11/2016 on watermelooon 0

Comments(95):

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User avatar #95 - admin (11/03/2015) [-]
hey man, I wanted to thank you for posting content. I looked over your profile. Although this is a copy and paste message, I wanted to say I appreciate you contributing to FJ.

FJ got hit hard with a lot of downtime recently. I'm working hard to improve the site, adding new features (mp4s, webms, and GIFs in comments, new comment features, etc) and trying to make the site better for mobile.

Can you keep posting on the site? That would mean a lot to me. Thanks.
User avatar #89 - nikolaier (05/07/2015) [-]
"Dad... I'm honored...", he says, tears sparkling in his eyes.
"Hi honored", replies his father. "im grandpa". With a smile across his face and tears streaming down his eyes, a warm yellow light shines down from the heavens and envelopes him. he lifts up from the ground, suspended only in the glory of the moment. his pants raise several inches, thick glasses materialize on his face, and hair begins to descend from his head like the feathers of an angel. He has ascended past the simple level of "dad", and will no longer make "dad jokes" for the triviality of such affairs have become obvious to him. now, he begins his new era as a "grandpa" telling war stories and of times long past, and how this generation of rapscallions have no appreciation of the olden days.

Do you remember the day you wrote that comment? Because I sure do.
#90 to #89 - applescryatnight (05/07/2015) [-]
yeah that was a good one. i make like 1 or 2 good comments a year, so i generally remember them.

what brought it up though? skimming through your favorites?
User avatar #91 to #90 - nikolaier (05/07/2015) [-]
Yep. I also used that comment myself a few times. Thought id let you know how much i like it.
#92 to #91 - applescryatnight (05/07/2015) [-]
well you know what they say, reposts are the highest form of flattery
#87 - bionicpanda (12/24/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #86 - kandazz (09/26/2014) [-]
I really like your whale gif. It's a great gif. It's really neat.
User avatar #85 - Tyranitar (09/08/2014) [-]
Hey. Just replying to your Injustice comic, since they just got all taken down by DC:

Solomon Grundy was cursed. Every time he dies, he will simply come back to life even stronger. Over centuries, this has put him on a level where even Superman finds himself at a bit of a struggle.

Doomsday has a power called reactive adaption. When he is fatally wounded/"killed" by something, his body regenerates and immediately adapts to resist what hurt him. For example, if Superman blasts a hole in his chest with his heat beams, Doomsday will regenerate, and his body will adapt a resistance to heat. Think of it as super-evolution, making him slowly immortal by making him stronger against what has hurth im before.
User avatar #13 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Are you the cat in this gif? Yes or no.
User avatar #63 to #62 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Kill yourself.
#64 to #63 - applescryatnight (07/26/2014) [-]
i take it you prefer the smash mouth version?
User avatar #65 to #64 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Kill yourself.
#66 to #65 - applescryatnight (07/26/2014) [-]
hmmm. i guess this kinda music isnt your style.
well, if im never going to get rid of you, i might as well get to know my new arch nemesis.
so what kind of music do you like?
play any instruments? you like to draw?
User avatar #67 to #66 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Kill yourself.
#68 to #67 - applescryatnight (07/26/2014) [-]
well, ive always liked classic rock and a little bit of metal. i like the sound of foo fighters lately but sometimes i dont really like their stuff. i prefer them to nirvana. david grohl is pretty cool though. its hard being a dad when you are a famous musician too. not like the type of famous musician like kanye west though, david grohl has a lot of humility in my opinion. except for that one time, he kicked a guy out of his concert cause he started a fight. i mean, sometimes fights are necessary, like what if one guy was making the other guys girlfriend really uncomfortable, and she asked him to do something about it, and words wouldnt work?
nonetheless, i still respect david grohl.
User avatar #69 to #68 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Kill yourself.
#70 to #69 - applescryatnight (07/26/2014) [-]
lets see, i dont play any instruments, though ive tried. the first time i had an instrument was probably in third grade or so when we had recorders. i was ok with mine, but one kid in class would always go off pitch. on the last performance, he really did pull through and did a great job playing. after that, i forget which grade, i had a class where we picked our own instrument and we would play it. i picked saxophone cause all the trumpets and drums were taken. i hated the saxophone cause it had so many buttons but the teacher would only let me use 3 and they didnt even change how the saxophone sounded. after that i got myself a first act electric guitar so i could learn how to play it, and maybe get a real electric guitar later, but the damn instruction manual didnt tell me which strings played which notes. its still back at my parents house in my old room. i could probably learn if i wanted to, but first act is cheap and low quality, you know?
oh and my dad brought home a few harmonicas, i barely knew how to play them but they were fun.
User avatar #71 to #70 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Kill yourself.
#72 to #71 - applescryatnight (07/26/2014) [-]
i fancy myself a bit of an artist, but more of a doodler. like, when i went to high school i would always doodle in my books. my economics notebook had more drawings in it than notes. none of the drawings were ever that good, but i tried to make them as weird as possible, so i could laugh about them with my friends. i broke the habbit in college, when i started bringing my laptop to school instead of notebooks. its harder to doodle on a laptop, especially without one of those drawing pads. i draw a little on my computer too, just small things, for fun basically.
User avatar #73 to #72 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Kill yourself.
#74 to #73 - applescryatnight (07/26/2014) [-]
my favorite color is orange, but i wear green a lot.
i have like 3 pairs of jeans, cause im a simple kind of guy with simple jean values.
my eyes are blue but they look green to a lot of people. i dont argue with them, i just go with whatever color they think my eyes are.
User avatar #75 to #74 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Kill yourself.
#76 to #75 - applescryatnight (07/26/2014) [-]
ive always wanted to visit norway and climb some mountains. also, i want to own a squirrel suit and skydive/glide. dont you think thats the dream, man? soaring above the world and watching everyone below you like the buildings are ants and you are the biggest thing in the world right now?
do you ever have dreams like that alecbaldwinning?
User avatar #77 to #76 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Kill yourself.
#78 to #77 - applescryatnight (07/26/2014) [-]
well, i guess you win. i was gonna wait until you logged off and then spam you a little, so when you log in, you see a hundred notifications.
but i think we really bonded here. like, you know the core of my being, my dreams, and who i am. and i know you really want me to kill myself.
its like we are blood brothers now, i dont even want to spam you anymore.
User avatar #79 to #78 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Kill yourself.
#82 to #79 - applescryatnight (07/27/2014) [-]
i missed you today
User avatar #83 to #82 - alecbaldwinning (07/28/2014) [-]
Kill yourself.
#80 to #79 - applescryatnight (07/26/2014) [-]
i feel the same way, buddy.
User avatar #81 to #80 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Kill yourself.
User avatar #14 to #13 - traks (07/26/2014) [-]
lol umad burt?
User avatar #15 to #14 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
That was an original, new and interesting instigative comment, never before seen on internet forums.

Kill yourself you cum gurgling autistic ********** . Your parents never wanted you.

User avatar #16 to #15 - traks (07/26/2014) [-]
Yeah, you mad, burt
User avatar #18 to #16 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
You don't have to put up with the pain forever, end it tonight.
User avatar #19 to #18 - traks (07/26/2014) [-]
lol
User avatar #17 to #16 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
You're usless trash who will never accomplish anything in life. You ruined your parents dreams. You are alone. Kill yourself.
User avatar #20 to #17 - traks (07/26/2014) [-]
gg no re brah
User avatar #24 to #20 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Am I hitting a nerve? Do you feel truth in my words?

Kill yourself you worthless faggot.
User avatar #22 to #20 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Why am I blocked? Did I trouble your fanny?
User avatar #29 to #22 - traks (07/26/2014) [-]
Aww, you do care about me, dont you <3
You want to always be able to stalk me from afar, I didnt think someone could fall in love with me so quickly
User avatar #31 to #29 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
This persona you're putting on. A blind person could see through it, is this really the best defense you have?

Just end it. You are nobody and we both know it.
User avatar #35 to #31 - traks (07/26/2014) [-]
This is pretty ******* funny, please do go on.
User avatar #37 to #35 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Another easily detectable defense. Pretend you enjoy it until I stop. It won't work. There's only one way you can end this. I know you've thought about it.

Kill yourself.
User avatar #40 to #37 - traks (07/26/2014) [-]
oh no the big bad man with the red text hurt my feewings
i shud go kill mysewf cuz he towd me tooooooooo
lol burt
User avatar #84 to #40 - towd (07/29/2014) [-]
pls lrn 2 spl so i dnt hve 2 red ths ****
User avatar #42 to #40 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
End it.
User avatar #41 to #40 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Sarcastic mockery. You're quickly running out of defenses.

User avatar #43 to #41 - traks (07/26/2014) [-]
I dont understand how your this mad over defending animal cruelty
User avatar #51 to #43 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Nobody loves you.
User avatar #49 to #43 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
You are a nobody. You will never have any meaningful accomplishments in life. You're wasting your time. Kill yourself.
User avatar #47 to #43 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Your family despises you.
User avatar #46 to #43 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
End your life.
User avatar #45 to #43 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Just kill yourself.
User avatar #44 to #43 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
You flatter yourself. This is why you're weak.
User avatar #21 to #20 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
You display amazing origninality.

It must be fun being exactly like 200 million other people. Kill yourself today. Use a rope.
User avatar #23 to #21 - traks (07/26/2014) [-]
but wouldnt you miss me bby?
User avatar #28 to #23 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Be brave, for once in your pathetic life. Just end it.
User avatar #30 to #28 - traks (07/26/2014) [-]
The funny thing is that youre so incredibly mad, you have to make a new comment ever 30 seconds XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
User avatar #36 to #30 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Tell me anything positive about yourself.
#48 to #36 - applescryatnight (07/26/2014) [-]
i think hes pretty
User avatar #52 to #48 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Having 2 accounts is fun.

Kill yourself.
#53 to #52 - applescryatnight (07/26/2014) [-]
**** did u track my IPs?
no but seriously, im just sitting back watching random people argue on my account.
User avatar #55 to #53 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
You are a useless piece of **** . You will die alone. End your pain now.
User avatar #54 to #53 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Nobody would ever lie on the internet.

Kill. Yourself.
#56 to #54 - applescryatnight (07/26/2014) [-]
why would i have 2 accounts that both post comments frequently, and basically at the same time, and have a completely different set of friends, ?

you must be really mad if you think only one person could ever disagree with you
User avatar #57 to #56 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Stop wasting time. End your ****** life tonight. Have some courage for once.
#58 to #57 - applescryatnight (07/26/2014) [-]
this **** is gonna be hilarious when in the future someone goes on my account and they have no idea what you are mad about
User avatar #59 to #58 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
You flatter yourself again.

Mean and mad are two different emotions. You'd be able to understand that if you had an education. Kill yourself. Nobody wants you.
#60 to #59 - applescryatnight (07/26/2014) [-]
i dont think "mean" is an emotion.
quality, maybe.
User avatar #61 to #60 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
It doesn't matter what you think. You're nothing. I know that your opinion doesn't matter.

KIll yourself.
User avatar #34 to #30 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
I dare you.
User avatar #33 to #30 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
List some achievements in your life for me, go on, do it.
User avatar #32 to #30 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
incredibly mean*

Kill yourself.
User avatar #38 to #32 - traks (07/26/2014) [-]
lololololololololol
User avatar #39 to #38 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Can't list any achievements can you? Can't tell me anything positive about yourself.

You can pretend all you want, the fact is that you and I both know the real truth. You are nothing. You will always be nothing.
User avatar #27 to #23 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
You know I'm right.
User avatar #26 to #23 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Kill yourself.
User avatar #25 to #23 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Nobody would. You'll be forgotten immediately.
User avatar #12 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Are you the cat in this gif? Yes or no.
User avatar #11 - alecbaldwinning (07/26/2014) [-]
Are you the cat in this gif? Yes or no.
User avatar #9 - bondofsnow (06/07/2014) [-]
I'm watching you
User avatar #6 - hibyeman (05/12/2014) [-]
lovin the DnD chan stories! keep it up!
#7 to #6 - applescryatnight (05/12/2014) [-]
sorry bro, taking a small break until i finish my classes.
ill start uploading again in no time.
User avatar #8 to #7 - hibyeman (05/12/2014) [-]
alls good. i just finished my classes for the year. studying for the LSAT now... actually about to take a practice test -.-...
User avatar #2 - majormayor (04/14/2014) [-]
I still think your username is weird.
#3 to #2 - applescryatnight (04/14/2014) [-]
also a good conversation starter.
people ask about it a lot.
User avatar #4 to #3 - majormayor (04/14/2014) [-]
I haven't seen you much recently.
#5 to #4 - applescryatnight (04/14/2014) [-]
im still on every day pretty much. i just comment a lot sometimes and other times i just go through frontpage and some of newest uploads silently.
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