NO!
*breathes deeply, as if composing herself*
Not.
In.
My.
Home.
If you have a problem with that, then you can keep your furniture.

He raises his hands. "Allright. Just trying to be neighborly. I mean... Its gotta be lonely is all. With everyone overlooking this house and not even giving a how do you do, or an invitation to the neighborhood block parties." he pauses. "But I can see you're not interested in that. Anyhow, thanks for your time. Hopefully the domestic disputes will start to go down once we get the police to check on Zim's home."

Wait! *she begins playing with her hands*
Listen, Zim is an...old friend of mine. Like you said his parents are really weird, it's hard for him. I'll check up on him for you, that way you don't need to get the police involved.
It would just be so hard on him, people would start to talk. I mean, you know some of the horrible rumors the others are spreading about him...

"Well... We're worried that he's being abused. And we're trying to investigate the house and get him out of there. Its for the best of your friend."

Zim's parents? Abuse? Hah! No way, they're hippies. *ahem*
They do, however, need a stern talking-to, and that's what I'll do. Calling the police over would just enrage them and make the problem worse!
I've been dealing with them for a while, I know how to handle this situation, you just leave Zim to me. I'll even show them the petition, they're all about democracy in action.

"Are you allright? You're starting to... Act odd. The police will just be investigating to see if Zim is okay, and if his parents show hostile intent. If they aren't violent, then there's no issue. Right?"

The issue is that you keep prying into other people's business when it's none of your concern! Leave Zim and me alone, Zim is tougher than he looks, he doesn't need you to rescue him, and I don't need your furniture, I am not a charity case!

"I'm not prying. I've yet to ask a single thing about you that isn't relevant to the neighborhood association. As for zim, its the entire block that's concerned, not just me, miss thing."

Then you can tell everyone on the block that Zim is thick-skinned and doesn't need people snooping in his private affairs and conspiring behind his back! We're not part of your community, and we never will be, of that you can be certain.

"Okay miss thing. I'm not trying to be hostile, or pry or anything. It's not my business, but you're about to make it mine if you cross me." *crosses his arms*

He throws his hands up in the air. "Allright, I'll leave. I might just get the police involved in checking you out. After all, you're a teenage girl living by herself with negligent parents. Not exactly safe. Even if its all okay, it's an inconvenience. You've crossed the wrong fellow today." He starts to turn around and make his way to the curb to finish his job.

*she pulls out her gun* Is that a threat? Are you threatening me, Mr. Burgner? I don't take kindly to threats.

Whoa whoa whoa... WHERE did you get a gun? And are you threatening to KILL me in broad daylight on the street? that'll end badly

I got it from my "negligent parents". You're too late human, my mind is made up. You've stuck your nose in the business of those infinitely your greater! We are invaders, the Irken Empire's elite, planet-conquering force! I will destroy you, your planet, Zim, and any who get in my wa-*BOOM*
*an explosion of gore rings out as the man's head is shot point blank by a large-caliber pistol...wielded by Zim. He smirks at Tak, that smug smirk of an idiot triumphant. Tak's face is spattered in blood*
Mimi! Come clean up this mess! I have to neuralize the neighbors...after a shower!

Hits the ground hard, blood flowing out of his head in large quantities, and starting to go into shock, his brain highly damaged. He begins to convulse, dying, but not dead yet. The air is still, and a few people are staring out of their windows, shocked by the sudden gunshot

*Tak sighs, and pulls out a nuclear detonator.*
Skoodge, beam Zim and I onto the ship.
There goes the neighborhood...*Click*

'Ello? Yes, what is it?

He peers into the entryway, then at the teenager at the door. "Er... Hey. I was hoping to get your signature on this petition. That small house on the corner, where all the gnomes are is victim of several noise complaints. But... You seem a little young to be living here alone. Are your parents home?"

Parents? Oh, right, uh...no, I live alone. They live...pretty far away.
These noise complaints, what were they, specifically?

"bangs. Almost like explosions. Also a lot of screaming. And what sounds like a blender or T.V. overheating." *leans a little bit, trying to look into the hous a little more, and hands her one of the fliers* Here's a complete list of infractions.

*drops the flier behind her carelessly*
I quite enjoy my privacy, is there something you're looking for, Mr...?

"Burgner. Mark Burgner. Pardon my curiosity. Just this house never replies to neighborhood inquiries, requests, watch meetings, or anything else really. In fact, a lot of people think this house is abandoned. I've seen you moving around from time to time when I walk by, so I tell them otherwise."

Mark Burgner. My name is Tak. Now let me tell you something: as you have no doubt noticed, I'm a teenager living alone in a house, still in school and working insane hours at a *dreadful* weenie stand. I don't make a lot of money, what I make goes into bills, groceries, and cat-products.
That's why my house is so sparsely furnished, and why I don't respond to the inane inquiries, requests, and watch meetings.
*sigh*
I do, however, appreciate your advocacy on my behalf on this matter.

Well, Um... Perhaps you'd be willing to show up to the next neighborhood meeting? to at least let them someone lives here. Its spring break at school after all. Er... And someone needs to trim that lawn. *peers over her shoulder* you know, I've got some old furniture if you'd like to spruce up your living room a bit."

*moves to block his view* Furniture? I..oh yes...what color is it? I won't take anything yellow...or orange!
The lawn? Oh yes, I'll have my cat right on that.
Neighborhood meeting, eh? Is Zim going to be there? The one who screams a lot?

"Err... No, I have an old salmon recliner, a wicker loveseat, and a green couch. Mismatched as a set, but free. And no, he doesn't. His parents kind of... Freaked out on us last time."

Of course you people would be fooled by...wait, wicked loveseat?! What are you trying to pull here, Mr. Burger?!

"A love seat? A couch for 2, made of wicker?" He looks a tad confused. 'Ad what do you mean you'll get the cat on the lawn? Wait, you have a pet?"

*blinks*
Wicker. Couch. Of course.
My cat, yes, she's a small grey cat, more like my assistant, though.
She'll be cutting the lawn, I don't like getting my hands dirty like that.

"Er... Your cat can mow the lawn? That's a first. And you'll have to register your cat, so that people with allergies know not to deliver to your home." He smiles. "So... would you like to pick up that furniture? I'll be happy to help you move it. I just need to get it off my hands."

Of course my cat can mow the lawn...why?
Cats do that, don't they?
Anyway, it's impossible to be allergic to my cat, so I won't be registering her.
As for the furniture, Mimi and I will be able to get it just fine. Just leave it outside, we'll come by eventually, unless your bureaucracy has something to say about that as well?

"Most cats don't do much of anything. And I could get the furniture over to your house except all but the loveseat is kind of heavy, and I'll need some help. Er... Is your pet spayed?"

No, her name is Mimi. I already said me and my cat will be able to get the furniture just fine. My cat could get them, my presence is just for show. She's much stronger than she looks.
People can't be allergic to her because she's a rob-er, robust cat, yes, very healthy. But also she doesn't shed. I'd be allergic otherwise.

"Your... Cat can help me lift the furniture from my house down the block to your place?"

No; my cat can lift the furniture from your house to mine by herself. I appreciate the donation, but you will not be coming into my home, persistent though you may be.