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anonemous

Last status update:
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Personal Info
Date Signed Up:1/29/2010
Last Login:1/14/2016
Location:hiding in the earths shadow
FunnyJunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#1595
Comment Ranking:#1074
Highest Content Rank:#65
Highest Comment Rank:#355
Content Thumbs: 23491 total,  25706 ,  2215
Comment Thumbs: 38185 total,  41545 ,  3360
Content Level Progress: 84.4% (844/1000)
Level 222 Content: Mind Blower → Level 223 Content: Mind Blower
Comment Level Progress: 13.4% (134/1000)
Level 334 Comments: Practically Famous → Level 335 Comments: Practically Famous
Subscribers:19
Content Views:491577
Times Content Favorited:2292 times
Total Comments Made:9683
FJ Points:57082
Favorite Tags: random (10) | roll (10) | Merry Christmas  (9) | bitch (3) | baby (2) | Bear (2) | Beer (2) | care bears (2) | dinosaur porn (2) | Drag Racing (2) | Finger (2) | fuck (2) | god damn batman (2) | gumby (2) | Lego (2) | Mario (2) | pedobear (2) | Pokey (2) | police (2) | rule thirty four (2)

latest user's comments

#24 - Picture 01/08/2014 on Good Advice +2
#12 - Life's a beach.... 01/08/2014 on Relax +4
#96 - Picture  [+] (1 new reply) 01/08/2014 on pussy 0
#100 - nimba (01/08/2014) [-]
#94 - soft brown poo colored...  [+] (3 new replies) 01/08/2014 on pussy +4
User avatar
#95 - sadistikal (01/08/2014) [-]
soft brown poo is best poo
#96 - anonemous (01/08/2014) [-]
#100 - nimba (01/08/2014) [-]
#43 - your bladder will be gladder as the seat loses the chill  [+] (1 new reply) 01/07/2014 on This is how cold it is in... +1
#99 - anon (01/07/2014) [-]
Your bladder will be gladder as the seat gains some heat.
#40 - man up, the cold will just make you want to piss more  [+] (4 new replies) 01/07/2014 on This is how cold it is in... 0
User avatar
#42 - nimithecat (01/07/2014) [-]
Getting a clean stream of piss in that kind of cold is like having a pin-hole sized leak in a dam.
#41 - nimithecat (01/07/2014) [-]
Not if the cold shrivels my dick into a tiny clitoris with a pisshole only large enough to let out a few drops of piss if I push with all of my might.
User avatar
#43 - anonemous (01/07/2014) [-]
your bladder will be gladder as the seat loses the chill
#99 - anon (01/07/2014) [-]
Your bladder will be gladder as the seat gains some heat.
#37 - a turd would probably thaw it...if not, blast it with piss  [+] (6 new replies) 01/07/2014 on This is how cold it is in... 0
User avatar
#39 - nimithecat (01/07/2014) [-]
but that seat though.....
I would need to remove the toilet seat, stick it in the microwave for 25 seconds on HIGH,
and then reattach it to the toilet before the heat dissipates.

Either that, or allow a really fat black guy into the house and use his butt as a seat warmer.
#40 - anonemous (01/07/2014) [-]
man up, the cold will just make you want to piss more
User avatar
#42 - nimithecat (01/07/2014) [-]
Getting a clean stream of piss in that kind of cold is like having a pin-hole sized leak in a dam.
#41 - nimithecat (01/07/2014) [-]
Not if the cold shrivels my dick into a tiny clitoris with a pisshole only large enough to let out a few drops of piss if I push with all of my might.
User avatar
#43 - anonemous (01/07/2014) [-]
your bladder will be gladder as the seat loses the chill
#99 - anon (01/07/2014) [-]
Your bladder will be gladder as the seat gains some heat.
#7 - and we used them in the Dieppe raid 01/07/2014 on this is some tough allied shit +4
#32 - sound proof the ceiling, install a few cages....maybe we will … 01/06/2014 on New apartment? Time to... 0
#104 - Picture 01/06/2014 on Cancer +1
#6 - a ferret on a roid rage...that'll **** things up.... 01/06/2014 on I fail to see the issue 0
#5 - it's a 1/2 grown calf, his man card should be revoked.....  [+] (3 new replies) 01/05/2014 on SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT +2
User avatar
#21 - funnys (01/06/2014) [-]
have to ever been rammed by and running cow? no matter how big they are it hurts
User avatar
#22 - funnys (01/06/2014) [-]
A* not and
#17 - anon (01/06/2014) [-]
it can still wreck his shit, trust me, im a farmer
#19 - do not let your cat get any ideas! 01/05/2014 on Dream big +1
#11 - Picture 01/05/2014 on Regular, not out of the... 0
#4 - cheaper than a paint job.... 01/05/2014 on Duct Tape Car 0
#501 - Picture 01/04/2014 on FJ University +7
#14 - Picture 01/04/2014 on Don't Thumb It's only a Banana +1
#9 - prepare a boarding party!!  [+] (13 new replies) 01/04/2014 on someone didn't think this thru +22
#49 - artyomthebadass (01/05/2014) [-]
You can have your boarding party. I have something better
#58 - jonathankitty (01/05/2014) [-]
#11 - jackmanagan (01/04/2014) [-]
if your going to steal my quotes say them right you dog!

"Prepare to be borded!!"
User avatar
#101 - yuukoku (01/05/2014) [-]
What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I’ll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o’ the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn’t, ye didn’t, and now ye’ll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I’ll shit fury all over ye and ye’ll drown in the depths o’ it. You’re fish food now.
User avatar
#53 - swaggerwagon (01/05/2014) [-]
land lubber
#40 - Sabre (01/05/2014) [-]
That isn't Gangplank, it's Blackbeard. I don't think he was trying to quote LoL.
User avatar
#112 - jackmanagan (01/05/2014) [-]
.....its the gangplank wallpaper
#119 - Sabre (01/05/2014) [-]
His comment, not yours numbnuts.
#20 - cakegod (01/04/2014) [-]
There be too many pirates in here.
User avatar
#21 - jackmanagan (01/04/2014) [-]
i have citrus so i am K

it grew in floriday!
User avatar
#54 - swaggerwagon (01/05/2014) [-]
User avatar
#14 - fuzzyballs (01/04/2014) [-]
borded or boarded?
User avatar
#42 - hierophant (01/05/2014) [-]
boreded
#6 - he was on a fishing trip..... 01/04/2014 on This one time... 0
#3 - he's charging his lasers..... 01/04/2014 on I'm Australian and these... 0
#18 - ******* poser...... 01/04/2014 on So true +3
#10 - usually the snowfall isn't the problem, its the drifting from the wind 01/04/2014 on Oh Canada +1
#8 - depends where you are, I try to stay 3-5 days worth of supplie…  [+] (3 new replies) 01/04/2014 on Oh Canada +4
User avatar
#9 - jeengak (01/04/2014) [-]
Ahh well i drive a Acura csx so I ain't going anywhere with more than 6 inches of snow lol
thx for the info
#13 - eattherich (01/04/2014) [-]
I have a civic with 4 inches of clearance and i can make it through about 1 to 1 and a half feet of medium pack snow as long as I don't stop. The way my bumper is, it will push the snow to the sides but if i stop then I high center. I live in Quesnel. About half way up BC. Also I have had this shit happen to my house. You just shovel that shit out until you hit the road. Winters like that are a lot of work but it's kind of cool having fucking snow hallways in your yard. Feels like minecraft.
User avatar
#10 - anonemous (01/04/2014) [-]
usually the snowfall isn't the problem, its the drifting from the wind
#46 - Picture 01/04/2014 on thats nice, smaug +1
#21 - oh no I'm going to hell 01/03/2014 on fuck +39
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Comments(112):

anonemous only allows comments from friends.
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[ 112 comments ]
29 comments displayed.
User avatar #144 - anonemous (01/11/2016) [-]
ad repeat after youtube
User avatar #142 - admin (12/25/2015) [-]
Merry Christmas you little bitch <3

Glad you're a part of FJ.

(You can now delete Admin comments on profiles so you can get rid of this if you want)
User avatar #143 to #142 - anonemous (12/26/2015) [-]
Merry Christmas to you too, and I would be your little bitch anytime
User avatar #136 - anonemous (07/20/2015) [-]
no ***** shall ever be given, for the earth has been salted with the tears of my enemies
#135 - kimmieco (06/22/2015) [-]
**kimmieco used "*roll picture*"**
**kimmieco rolled image** Anyways, byesss
User avatar #119 - anonemous (05/13/2015) [-]

funnyjunk.com/Fj+faq/text/5517309/

Tells you how to use shortcuts, roll, etc.
User avatar #111 - ITSSUPERAFFECTIVE (05/03/2015) [-]
Hey dude, remember me? I started a website for web-comics! I'd love to see you check it out!

Showcasecomic.com

<3
User avatar #112 to #111 - anonemous (05/04/2015) [-]
I already did when you posted last week
User avatar #113 to #112 - ITSSUPERAFFECTIVE (05/04/2015) [-]
Oh dang, awesome man. Thanks" What'd you think?
User avatar #114 to #113 - anonemous (05/04/2015) [-]
the art is good, post mortem is funny, real american pastries is interesting, a lot of puns, didn't grab me though, but maybe that's just me
User avatar #115 to #114 - ITSSUPERAFFECTIVE (05/04/2015) [-]
Well we have more coming out soon. New comic 24hr Inconvenience is really funny, more of a story type of comic, and in about a week I'll have another one coming out called Billy and the Crab King. That'll be a real side holder I'm hoping. So everything will progress quickly on a weekly basis. Maybe, something'll grab yah ahahaha
User avatar #116 to #115 - anonemous (05/04/2015) [-]
sounds good, just message me when posted and I will check them out

for comic ideas, have you ever thought about taking a modern problem and putting it back in history? example - waiting for a break in traffic put into greek or roman times
User avatar #117 to #116 - ITSSUPERAFFECTIVE (05/04/2015) [-]
Not bad idea. I'll keep that in mind. We were talking about doing something like guest artists for like hilarious animal combinations like Moose+Penguin or Anteater+Owl and stuff like that. I'm also working on a couple more web-comics aside from what I mentioned that are on hush hush. Plus I have some more friends who are working on ideas that they want to write and post. If they're good enough I'll put em up. more OG content the better right?
User avatar #118 to #117 - anonemous (05/04/2015) [-]
sounds great!!
User avatar #109 - anonemous (04/01/2015) [-]
How to support FJ/Keep it aliveTip: Press the arrow keys to cycle messages next »
4:40am
Funnyjunk Announcement to me
This site costs a lot of money and time to run. It's also in danger of shutting down since everyone uses adblock and ads used to pay the bills.

You can donate here: gratipay.com/funnyjunk/

Or just post some content so we get new visitors from google (who don't use adblock).

Guide to posting content here: www.funnyjunk.com/Air+horns/funny-pictures/5500627/Help+fj+by+making+good+content/text/5450174/

Thanks.
User avatar #107 - anonemous (02/22/2015) [-]
How To Roll


For numbers:
Type "roll amount, range*. For example, **anonemous used "*roll 3, 1-100*"**
**anonemous rolls 083**
**anonemous rolls 041**
**anonemous rolls 097** will make 3 rolls with a range of 1 to 100.


For special types:
*roll amount, type* For example, roll *4, pokemon* would make four rolls with four different pokemon.


All Roll Types:

pokemon, Martial Melee Weapon, Martial Ranged Weapon, Simple Melee Weapon, Simple Ranged Weapon, dogs, DD Class, TF2 Class, LOL, faggots, Pony, items, rare items, Magic 8-Ball, gender, cis privilege, male privilege, torture method, burn center, rpg name, rpg race, cah question, cah answer
User avatar #105 - anonemous (12/27/2014) [-]
Rolling technicalities
With the new rolling system, rolling is not as easy as *roll 2* anymore, you now have the ability to roll more than once per comment.

Rolling Numbers
First you want to decide how many times you wanna roll, if once you start with *roll 1. You can roll a max of six times per comment. You then choose the number range for your roll. For example, to roll 3 numbers, four times, with the best range you type **anonemous used "*roll 4, 000-999*"**
**anonemous rolls 163**
**anonemous rolls 757**
**anonemous rolls 715**
**anonemous rolls 144**
Multiple rolling works for all the roll types except comments, users, and pictures.
The rest of the things you can roll are as follow:
Cards against humanity
cah question
cah answer (If your question requires 2 answers, use *roll 2, cah answer*)
Items Game
items
rare items (this will roll items with 100 or less in circulation)
Dungeons and Dragons
DD class
Martial Melee Weapon
Martial Ranged Weapon
Simple Melee Weapon
Simple Ranged Weapon
Others
pokemon
dogs
TF2 Class (team fortress 2 for the uneducated)
LOL (league of legends I believe)
dogs
pony
Magic 8-Ball
gender
cis privilege
user
comment
picture (use *roll picture* not *roll image*)
faggots

Have Fun!
User avatar #106 to #105 - anonemous (12/29/2014) [-]
All Roll Types


pokemon, Martial Melee Weapon, Martial Ranged Weapon, Simple Melee Weapon, Simple Ranged Weapon, dogs, DD Class, TF2 Class, LOL, faggots, Pony, items, rare items, Magic 8-Ball, gender, cis privilege, male privilege, torture method, burn center, rpg name, rpg race


Type "*roll text*" to use, for example: *roll pokemon*
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