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Last status update:
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Gender: female
Age: 23
Date Signed Up:10/03/2009
Last Login:12/05/2016
Location:Whereami
Stats
Comment Ranking:#5910
Highest Content Rank:#706
Highest Comment Rank:#2693
Content Thumbs: 6124 total,  6740 ,  616
Comment Thumbs: 2478 total,  2791 ,  313
Content Level Progress: 14% (14/100)
Level 161 Content: Soldier Of Funnyjunk → Level 162 Content: Soldier Of Funnyjunk
Comment Level Progress: 17% (17/100)
Level 221 Comments: Mind Blower → Level 222 Comments: Mind Blower
Subscribers:1
Content Views:84107
Times Content Favorited:810 times
Total Comments Made:1335
FJ Points:8099
Favorite Tags: funny (23) | and (18) | a (17) | to (17) | the (14) | Guide (12) | Life (12) | You (12) | comic (11) | stuff (11) | dont (10) | things (10) | what (10) | broken (9) | device (9) | i (9) | of (9) | Plot (9) | short (9) | but (8)
I'm a goddamn force of nature.

Text Posts

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    Uploaded: 04/25/10
    People of Walmart 2 People of Walmart 2
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    Uploaded: 06/28/10
    A Guide To Life 2 A Guide To Life 2
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    Uploaded: 06/25/10
    The Cheese The Cheese
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    Uploaded: 02/13/10
    Your Face Your Face
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    Uploaded: 04/01/10
    It Makes Her Happy. . . It Makes Her Happy. . .
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    Uploaded: 10/22/13
    A Guide to Life A Guide to Life
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    Uploaded: 08/21/11
    Haters Gonna Hate Haters Gonna Hate
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    Uploaded: 06/30/10
    Well Now. . . Well Now. . .

latest user's comments

#136 - Dat minion MLP.  [+] (1 reply) 12 hours ago on Cringe comp 4 +8
User avatar
#198 - cormy (10 hours ago) [-]
OH HELL IS THAT WHAT THAT WAS?!
I didn't even realize.
Fuck.
#44 - Same, nothing gets my gym rage going like Fat Acceptance. In a…  [+] (2 replies) 11/27/2016 on Fat shaming Saturday 2 +1
User avatar
#45 - connorcrafting (11/27/2016) [-]
Now that's the kinda shit I like to hear, I'm like 250 currently and still losing weight. Since I've graduated highschool I went from 300 to 250 and plan to get around 200 and start lifting a bit.
User avatar
#47 - Underground (11/27/2016) [-]
Awesome man, keep it up.

When I started lifting I had to start VERY slow and still haven't been able to build too much because what started my weightloss was extreme malnutrition (rabbit sickness to be specific,) and it fucked up my joints and everything else. Slow and steady though, my arms, legs, and shoulders are looking great but the stomach is going to take the longest because it's where my body likes to store everything.
#16 - My GF's Aunt just killed herself because she was diagnosed wit…  [+] (4 replies) 11/20/2016 on A Comp of Many True Things +26
#105 - mosthatedon (11/20/2016) [-]
Not trying to worry you, but you should probably go get tested for cancer, unless your dad smoked or something.
Really, better safe than sorry with this kind of stuff.

Sorry about all that shit, man.
User avatar
#176 - Underground (11/20/2016) [-]
Na my dad is a contractor who works on old houses. If he has lung cancer it's going to be from exposure to asbestos.
#75 - anon (11/20/2016) [-]
My oldest friend of 10 years drifted away and stopped caring about me unless he needed something from me. My best friend died. I had to put down my dog. My second closest friend betrayed me and drifted apart. All my other friends showed themselves to just be using me for my kindness. My mom is a sobbing emotional wreck because I want to move out of the house in several years. I act as a nurse for her since she's disabled. Every day I live is physical pain due to health problems. I had a chance at having the girl of my dreams and I fucked it up.


There is very little keeping me alive at this point, just the knowledge that I'd cause pain if I was gone keeps me going. I'm lonely as fuck but I'm also completely disenfranchised with people and friends who never treated me right. I want to be left completely alone, and I want someone to tell me I'm their best friend again.

I fucking hate 2016. Only real positive was Trump winning.
#103 - anon (11/20/2016) [-]
This is fucking hilarious.
I laugh at your pain. Both of you.
You're fucking cunts, and you being in pain makes me feel oh so good.
Thanks for posting, I feel so much better now.
#71 - >Did any spooky **** ever happen to you specifically? …  [+] (3 replies) 11/04/2016 on Hold me, i'm scared 0
#77 - anon (11/04/2016) [-]
True, I had just woken up at the time of writing that so I was still in half sleep nonsense mode.

Now that I've fully woken up I've switched back to my "fuck all ghosts" mentality. I've dealt with this shit all my life and as soon as I establish the classic "they are useless pieces of shit and if they don't fuck off then I'm just gonna spooge on em every time they try to fuck with me" rule set then they disappear shortly after. I've told this story a few times on here before and usually made people laugh but it's a lot of typing so I'll just summarize. Basically, whenever you think you're going to get spooked or in the middle of getting spooked just stand up, drop your pants and start jacking off. Putting a fist in the air helps too. Make sure your legs are at shoulder width apart for maximum machismo and feel free to say manly things like "You wanna spook me? I fuk uuu" all while jacking off furiously.

One of my most notable moments employing this technique when when I was was folding laundry in the basement of an old house. I started hearing the tools in my tool box get jostled and toyed with and when I looked behind me I saw what looked to be a figure and then the lights flickered and cut out. I was in my basement in pick black darkness but without skipping a beat I dropped my pants and already had a full boner (I've used the technique for a while in previous experiences already) and just started jacking off and I was like "yeah I bet you want to haunt me, you couldn't get any poon in your lifetime so now you're here to be my fuck boi! Well fuck off you ain't good enough for this diick!" and then the lights turned back on and I laughed at how pretty much any time I've used this technique ghosts fuck off after about a week or so and then you have nothing to worry about. So I just have to do it again here and I'll be golden.

Plus worst case scenario I get a ghost to suck me off. Or if it somehow manages to kill me then like I said up top I'll beat the shit out of it in the afterlife becasue then I can tough it as much as it can touch me. Ghosts need to realize that their just the shit left over on the asses of the living and should realize that they're unwanted and need to fuck off.
User avatar
#81 - Underground (11/04/2016) [-]
I can see it all playing out in my head and it's so fucking funny jesus christ. Isn't the 'furiously masturbate when you're being spooped' thing an /x/ specialty? I see them talking about it there all the time, hilarious. I've also employed that technique and it always seems to do the trick.

Godspeed, sir. Fap your way to an unhaunted house.
User avatar
#79 - kyleassante (11/04/2016) [-]
whoops posted as anon.
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