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Totaler    

Rank #4783 on Subscribers
Totaler Avatar Level 310 Comments: Wizard
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Gender: male
Date Signed Up:2/19/2010
Last Login:8/09/2014
Location:Canada
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#16869
Highest Content Rank:#398
Highest Comment Rank:#182
Content Thumbs: 13938 total,  15697 ,  1759
Comment Thumbs: 11041 total,  13393 ,  2352
Content Level Progress: 91.6% (916/1000)
Level 213 Content: Comedic Genius → Level 214 Content: Comedic Genius
Comment Level Progress: 6.8% (34/500)
Level 310 Comments: Wizard → Level 311 Comments: Wizard
Subscribers:16
Content Views:142814
Times Content Favorited:1064 times
Total Comments Made:8496
FJ Points:747
Favorite Tags: facebook (9) | Pokemon (9) | funny (8) | Bieber (7) | fail (7) | meme (7) | win (6) | DnD (5) | Hockey (5) | quotes (5) | comments (4) | girls (4) | highschool (4) | jersey shore (4) | justin (4) | shit (4) | Awesome (3) | awkward (3) | Emo (3) | graphs (3)
I am leaving, if you wish to reach me, search the same name on deviantART.

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    Awesome vs Awkward Awesome vs Awkward
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    Typical Emo Girl vs Normal Teenage Girl Typical Emo Girl vs Normal...
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    Clean vs Foul Clean vs Foul
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    Awesome vs Awkward 2 Awesome vs Awkward 2
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    Typical Emo Girl vs Normal Teenage Girl2 Typical Emo Girl vs Normal...
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    Meanwhile Meanwhile
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    Uploaded: 07/18/12
    Ryan at His Best Ryan at His Best
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    Uploaded: 03/31/10
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sketches

latest user's comments

#303767 - The step-son of a family very close to mine, who I was very cl… 08/09/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... 0
#303388 - What do you think will happen? The court will go "Well he…  [+] (2 new replies) 08/08/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... +3
User avatar #303532 - nefarian (08/08/2014) [-]
Context?
User avatar #303767 - Totaler (08/09/2014) [-]
The step-son of a family very close to mine, who I was very close with when we were younger got arrested for breaking into cars while intoxicated.
#303387 - You act like your family is interfering with how cool you look…  [+] (3 new replies) 08/08/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... +3
User avatar #303388 - Totaler (08/08/2014) [-]
What do you think will happen? The court will go "Well he has a cool hat so clearly he's innocent."? And your parents will all just forget what happened?

Because I'm pretty damn sure that ain't what's gonna happen, I'm thinking more like, you wind up in a juvenile detention centre, and then a real prison after you become an adult.

Man, I became an adult in my fucking house, probably in this fucking chair, staring at this computer. You're gonna become one probably passed out on some punk bitch's couch, or in a bed in a prison cell. More likely the latter. Holy shit, how fucking exciting! When I could legally drink I was sipping beer, eating pizza in my dorm room, you'll be laying on a cot crying about how you fucked up! Wow! So fucking awesome, right!?

Because, that's what you always do. You fuck up, and then cry like a bitch and beg forgiveness, get it, and then repeat. It works with your parents, because they love you. That's not how it works in the criminal justice system, you can cry all you want, but it won't fucking change much, except make you look like a pussy in court. And no, that won't get you put in an all-women's facility. And even if it did they could still kick your ass by looking at you.

Grow the fuck up kid, accept the consequences of your dumbass fucking behaviour, and maybe get your shit straighten out. Because sure, you may look cool do your dickheaded buddies, put you look like a pathetic piece of shit to the rest of the world.
User avatar #303532 - nefarian (08/08/2014) [-]
Context?
User avatar #303767 - Totaler (08/09/2014) [-]
The step-son of a family very close to mine, who I was very close with when we were younger got arrested for breaking into cars while intoxicated.
#303375 - If my parents offered to buy me a car, I'd be their servant. I…  [+] (5 new replies) 08/08/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... +3
User avatar #303387 - Totaler (08/08/2014) [-]
You act like your family is interfering with how cool you look to your buddies. Well maybe those fucking shithead buddies of yours are interfering with your ass not ending up being spread over some big black man's cock in prison. You think you're fucking tough, but when you inevitably end up in the prison system, that's gonna last until the instant you walk in the door.

There isn't any pussy in prison, kid. So they take the next best thing, which is the little pussies that walk in thinking they'll own the fucking joint and then get a call to reality when their farts quit making noise.

You're like my little brother, you always have been. We used to play with Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and dinky cars together, baseball, soccer, hockey, man every time I looked back you were right fucking there. And now I'm attending university, and you goddamn well better attend your court date. Or I'm driving down there and fucking dragging you there.

I'd hoped that maybe I'd left a good influence on you, I guess you washed and puffed it all away huh? Well congrats, you lived the life. Your sister wants to burn everything of yours in their house because she's so angry with you. Good job there, this is a beautiful example you're setting for the three little kids who call you their big brother.

Breaking into cars and calling their parents assholes. Man, that three year old who doesn't understand why mommy is so upset must aspire to be just like his big brother. He must want nothing more then to be like one of the most prominent male figures in his life. But I ain't gonna fucking let him. Because just like you were, he's my little brother. And I'll be damned if I'm fucking up twice.

Even after bailing her your drunk ass out at four in the morning, you threaten and scream at your mother. Good job, shitstain.

TBC.
User avatar #303388 - Totaler (08/08/2014) [-]
What do you think will happen? The court will go "Well he has a cool hat so clearly he's innocent."? And your parents will all just forget what happened?

Because I'm pretty damn sure that ain't what's gonna happen, I'm thinking more like, you wind up in a juvenile detention centre, and then a real prison after you become an adult.

Man, I became an adult in my fucking house, probably in this fucking chair, staring at this computer. You're gonna become one probably passed out on some punk bitch's couch, or in a bed in a prison cell. More likely the latter. Holy shit, how fucking exciting! When I could legally drink I was sipping beer, eating pizza in my dorm room, you'll be laying on a cot crying about how you fucked up! Wow! So fucking awesome, right!?

Because, that's what you always do. You fuck up, and then cry like a bitch and beg forgiveness, get it, and then repeat. It works with your parents, because they love you. That's not how it works in the criminal justice system, you can cry all you want, but it won't fucking change much, except make you look like a pussy in court. And no, that won't get you put in an all-women's facility. And even if it did they could still kick your ass by looking at you.

Grow the fuck up kid, accept the consequences of your dumbass fucking behaviour, and maybe get your shit straighten out. Because sure, you may look cool do your dickheaded buddies, put you look like a pathetic piece of shit to the rest of the world.
User avatar #303532 - nefarian (08/08/2014) [-]
Context?
User avatar #303767 - Totaler (08/09/2014) [-]
The step-son of a family very close to mine, who I was very close with when we were younger got arrested for breaking into cars while intoxicated.
User avatar #303380 - thebestpieever (08/08/2014) [-]
#291365 - No, you said that. I said a lot more things.  [+] (1 new reply) 07/12/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... +1
User avatar #291366 - bladeboy (07/12/2014) [-]
I love when you come here, your hate is always so good.
#291364 - But neither is mine. Strangely enough, standing on a roof in t… 07/12/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... +1
#291351 - If you don't like your job, quit. If you don't want t…  [+] (5 new replies) 07/12/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... +2
User avatar #291397 - fishinyourface (07/12/2014) [-]
oh look it's the "someone else has it worse, you can't feel badly ever" logic again.
User avatar #291364 - Totaler (07/12/2014) [-]
But neither is mine. Strangely enough, standing on a roof in the sun all day, vacuuming crushed Lucky Charms out of the floor of a minivan, and dodging the occasional stick or rock kicked up by a lawn mower towards my face isn't always that enjoyable. Especially when you don't dodge in time and take a rock to the face.

So don't fucking act like because I'm not dealing with people constantly, my job is easier than yours.

I deal with all sorts of shit unexpectedly, too. Some days it's "Hey, do this." Some days involve having the feces of small rodents smeared on my shirt while I clean their cage. And others involve swatting back hordes of mosquitoes and other insects while trimming brush. Others involve surprise encounters with toads, snakes, moles, and birds living in the thing I am trimming, weeding, or cutting down.

And I'm for damn sure that you've never had to go up and down a two story ladder fifty times in a day while flipping burgers or working cash at a goddamn dollar store.

I find ways to enjoy my job over the less enjoyable things that happen, so can you. I think of days where after roofing the house, we had smoke-cooked ribs for dinner or after being pegged in the face with a rock, the little three year old of the family I work for telling me he loved me.

So surely to God, you can find something good about your day, to outweigh the asshole who complained that you short changed him by a nickel.
#291357 - anonymous (07/12/2014) [-]
"I work my ass off at multiple jobs, so that invalidates any complaint you might have about your job." - You
User avatar #291365 - Totaler (07/12/2014) [-]
No, you said that. I said a lot more things.
User avatar #291366 - bladeboy (07/12/2014) [-]
I love when you come here, your hate is always so good.
#273359 - Not everyone is intended to be perfect weight, you have a 17 y… 06/08/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... +4
#273358 - This is your girlfriend, douchebag. How about you take a look …  [+] (1 new reply) 06/08/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... +6
User avatar #273359 - Totaler (06/08/2014) [-]
Not everyone is intended to be perfect weight, you have a 17 year old girl freaking out about every single fucking ounce like she's going through her midlife crisis. Between you and her asshole father the kid hates herself. She's so critical of herself to hear her you'd think she's a whale. No goddamn wonder she has no self esteem, because she's lost it all with every fucking half ounce you chew her out for. Why don't you fucking off back to whichever sandy strip of Hell you immigrated from where your daily concerns involve not dying, instead of the millimeters around my friend's waist you cunt?

And to another girl with a deadbeat dad. I want you to imagine a girl who deserves the world. Who fights through everything that gets in her way, to still be an amazing, kind, beautiful, loving, caring girl.

Now, I liked her dad. Never met him, but everything I heard about him made me like him, including the fact that everyone always said how he and I shared many positive qualities. Well, now her dad is a pile of shit. This asshole got a new bitch. Her parents divorced and moved on, and her father unfortunately moved onto a cunt. His daughters can't stand her, she's a tyrannical bitch. And in fact when my friend's younger sister got the courage to tell her father this, he screamed at her. He screamed at his daughter for not liking an utter cunt. And when my friend needed him to sign something, he chewed her out for not first saying hi to the bitch.

They're your fucking kids, asshole! Fucking treat them like human beings and not obstacles in the way of you getting to ram your dick in a stretched out vagina every once in a while! Take your heart back from this demonic cunt and fucking USE IT.
#273355 - I ******* hate how ****** some peopl…  [+] (2 new replies) 06/08/2014 on Hating - file complaints,... +7
User avatar #273358 - Totaler (06/08/2014) [-]
This is your girlfriend, douchebag. How about you take a look in the mirror before you critique someone else's appearance you fucking piece of shit? And maybe open your fucking eyes, seeing as you constantly have them half shut with that stupid fucking grin of yours. Or are they swollen because you have such a goddamn punchable face and people are just constantly doing what I'd fucking love to?

The next person far too critical of a friend's weight is a fucking doctor. Warning: racism inbound. This friend, is not even fat, she's slightly curvy, got a bit of weight, but she's certainly not fat, or as her fucking Paki doctor calls her "severely overweight" or "obese". Listen here you brown skinned fuck. This is a girl who already has it hard enough in life. Her deadbeat dad won't even pay the girl's grandmother who takes care of her. He's busy fucking his new chicky two hours away while the grandmother raises his fucking kid. They're so broke the kid has to sell her things to be able to attend her prom and graduation, meanwhile Daddy McMoneybags and his Apple employee girlfriend do whatever the fuck they want. Sidenote: fuck you too, deadbeat dad. You made the kid, fucking take care of her or at least have some presence in her life other than the asshole who occasionally treats her like shit via phone call.

But anyways, back to this fucking doctor. Your job, is to ensure she is in good health. Is she? Yes. She plays sports and dances and swims and all this shit, she eats healthy and is in good, fucking health. Your job is not to fucking tell every girl who is half a pound above anorexia that she's fat you fucking Pakistani prick.

TBC
User avatar #273359 - Totaler (06/08/2014) [-]
Not everyone is intended to be perfect weight, you have a 17 year old girl freaking out about every single fucking ounce like she's going through her midlife crisis. Between you and her asshole father the kid hates herself. She's so critical of herself to hear her you'd think she's a whale. No goddamn wonder she has no self esteem, because she's lost it all with every fucking half ounce you chew her out for. Why don't you fucking off back to whichever sandy strip of Hell you immigrated from where your daily concerns involve not dying, instead of the millimeters around my friend's waist you cunt?

And to another girl with a deadbeat dad. I want you to imagine a girl who deserves the world. Who fights through everything that gets in her way, to still be an amazing, kind, beautiful, loving, caring girl.

Now, I liked her dad. Never met him, but everything I heard about him made me like him, including the fact that everyone always said how he and I shared many positive qualities. Well, now her dad is a pile of shit. This asshole got a new bitch. Her parents divorced and moved on, and her father unfortunately moved onto a cunt. His daughters can't stand her, she's a tyrannical bitch. And in fact when my friend's younger sister got the courage to tell her father this, he screamed at her. He screamed at his daughter for not liking an utter cunt. And when my friend needed him to sign something, he chewed her out for not first saying hi to the bitch.

They're your fucking kids, asshole! Fucking treat them like human beings and not obstacles in the way of you getting to ram your dick in a stretched out vagina every once in a while! Take your heart back from this demonic cunt and fucking USE IT.

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Comments(541):

[ 541 comments ]

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #648 - lissiexoxobear (05/20/2013) [-]
what do you want for the demonic arm?
User avatar #649 to #648 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
Right now I need 500 Tokens and Cucumbers.

But I'll pretty much take whatever you want to sell because I don't want the Doll parts.
User avatar #650 to #649 - lissiexoxobear (05/20/2013) [-]
how many 500 tokens?
User avatar #651 to #650 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
I only need 10, but send whatever you want. Like I said I'll pretty much accept anything for them.
User avatar #654 to #651 - lissiexoxobear (05/20/2013) [-]
thank you =3
User avatar #655 to #654 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
No problem. :3
#646 - ldottvssm (05/20/2013) [-]
here ya go sir! and thank you very much
User avatar #647 to #646 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
Thanks! And Welcome.
User avatar #640 - laspussy (05/20/2013) [-]
what else does the dragon need?
User avatar #641 to #640 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
That one actually only needs Cabbage.

What the others need is in their description (which is on my profile).
User avatar #642 to #641 - laspussy (05/20/2013) [-]
oh wow, it does...sadly I don't think i'll be able to help out too much :/
User avatar #643 to #642 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
That's alright! Thanks anyways.
User avatar #644 to #643 - laspussy (05/20/2013) [-]
cabbages are rare D:
User avatar #645 to #644 - Totaler (05/20/2013) [-]
Somewhat.
User avatar #639 to #638 - Totaler (05/19/2013) [-]
Thanks!
#622 - mygems (05/17/2013) [-]
500's done well
User avatar #623 to #622 - Totaler (05/17/2013) [-]
Thanks man.
User avatar #621 to #620 - Totaler (05/16/2013) [-]
Gracias.
#617 - MrMysteriousMagic has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #618 to #617 - Totaler (05/15/2013) [-]
I'm actually hoarding them to make a trade with someone else, sorry. :/
#619 to #618 - MrMysteriousMagic has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #615 - AreYouBlessed (05/15/2013) [-]
Thank you
User avatar #616 to #615 - Totaler (05/15/2013) [-]
Welcome!
User avatar #611 - nevermentioned (05/13/2013) [-]
How much for the pride egg?
User avatar #613 to #611 - Totaler (05/13/2013) [-]
Would you be willing to change the Slendermen in the offer? As you can see, I have a surplus.
User avatar #614 to #613 - nevermentioned (05/13/2013) [-]
Yeah I can. Sorry I went to sleep.
User avatar #612 to #611 - Totaler (05/13/2013) [-]
I have no idea what they go for, because I just came back yesterday, and someone gifted me 4 eggs.
#608 - anonymous (12/17/2012) [-]
I just looked around 100 pages backwards in the hating board and saw some posts you made.

I got a feel
User avatar #609 to #608 - biofatso (12/17/2012) [-]
whoops
this is my account
User avatar #610 to #609 - Totaler (01/06/2013) [-]
Thanks for the message. :P
User avatar #607 - Izen (11/25/2012) [-]
I dont know you...but ill miss you
#606 - thats **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#604 - xxalphaomegaxx **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#599 - pizzaplanet (11/15/2012) [-]
Just wanted to say thanks for accepting all my trades, made my day and doubled my bank!
User avatar #600 to #599 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
No problem. :)
#597 - trollistrollinderp **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #598 to #597 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
Welcome bro. :)
User avatar #595 - magikarpforlife (11/15/2012) [-]
thanks man
User avatar #596 to #595 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
No problem.
User avatar #594 - sacredmatrix (11/15/2012) [-]
Thank you very much.
User avatar #585 - itemguy (11/15/2012) [-]
wHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR THE GOLD GOBLIN OR FRANK TORSO? i REALLY WANTED BOTH i'LL TRADE ANYTHING!
User avatar #591 to #585 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
The Frank Torso is still there.
User avatar #588 to #585 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
I'm giving stuff away, unfortunately, they go very fast.
User avatar #583 - theplazaknight (11/15/2012) [-]
Can I have your presidents? :)
User avatar #584 to #583 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
I just gave away a ******** of them, so send a request if any are left.
User avatar #581 - iluvhalo (11/15/2012) [-]
thanks for the frogs
User avatar #582 to #581 - Totaler (11/15/2012) [-]
No problem.
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