With a rake! Or would that make it oddly kinky? I suppose it could.. I mean, it would hurt like the dickens, but after a while he could adjust. Plus, it would rule out the penis factor, which would be nice. Which side would we be using, anyhow? I mean, the wooden end would be pretty easy to take after a minute, though it may give a few splinters. The metal end, though.. would that even fit? I mean, you'd have to cluster them all together to even think about penetration. Maybe we'd be better off using overpriced 1 liter bottles of soda. Oh, wait! We could use the offbrand stuff! Not even the popular Great Value drinks. I'm talking INDIE brand. THAT would be humiliating. Especially if we made him drink the substance afterward.

You know those things that you post while half awake, that you later realize weren't nearly as clever as they sounded in your head?

... yes.

GTFO. don't ruin it.

so close....

Haha