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Sewallman

Last status update:
As a kid, I hated being in bed for hours.. Now I'm an adult and hate reality passed leaving my bed. I've been drinking all day laying aroundcomment
Personal Info
Date Signed Up:9/01/2011
Last Login:1/15/2016
FunnyJunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#9
Comment Ranking:#205
Highest Content Rank:#1
Highest Comment Rank:#31
Content Thumbs: 2283786 total,  2420075 ,  136289
Comment Thumbs: 64376 total,  72245 ,  7869
Content Level Progress: 40.04% (8008/20000)
Level 436 Content: There is no Escape → Level 437 Content: There is no Escape
Comment Level Progress: 54.9% (549/1000)
Level 347 Comments: Sold Soul → Level 348 Comments: Sold Soul
Subscribers:721
Content Views:91613692
Times Content Favorited:146667 times
Total Comments Made:12413
FJ Points:1591925
Favorite Tags: funny (26) | FUNNYJUNK (14) | lol (12) | cool (11) | haha (11) | meme (10) | wow (10) | WTF (10) | comic (7) | admin (6) | facebook (5) | the (5) | cosplay (4) | free (4) | game (4) | to (4) | twitter (4) | Video (4) | 4Chan (3) | are (3)

Rewards

latest user's comments

#234 - Grorius 01/06/2016 on H-bomb launched by FJ! 0
#74 - Yeah. I'll be doing that instead and adding the .16$  [+] (1 new reply) 01/06/2016 on test this plz, AJAX LOADING... +1
User avatar
#75 - tarabostes (01/06/2016) [-]
#10 - First time I met my wife, she was a one night stand. …  [+] (5 new replies) 01/06/2016 on Kissed +2
User avatar
#23 - kuntz (01/06/2016) [-]
you were half asleep while still having sex/foreplay?
#48 - tarabostes (01/07/2016) [-]
It's possible
#15 - tarabostes (01/06/2016) [-]
"exploring her body''



What does that entail?
User avatar
#47 - Sewallman (01/07/2016) [-]
My hands going places. My eyes were closed but my other senses created something else if her body.
User avatar
#49 - tarabostes (01/07/2016) [-]
The 6th sense created a digital map of your waifu's body?
Neat
#55 - Every thumb this comment gets is worth a penny that i'll donat…  [+] (5 new replies) 01/06/2016 on test this plz, AJAX LOADING... +29
#58 - tarabostes (01/06/2016) [-]
Breaking News: Sewallman is now thousands of dollars in debt.
#67 - elaxx (01/06/2016) [-]
>a penny
>per thumb

Doubt he'll get to $3.
User avatar
#69 - tarabostes (01/06/2016) [-]
iz a joke , maybe if he posted it as content he'd get moar
User avatar
#74 - Sewallman (01/06/2016) [-]
Yeah. I'll be doing that instead and adding the .16$
User avatar
#75 - tarabostes (01/06/2016) [-]
#10 - *nipples 01/05/2016 on My Graces +1
#9 - Pretty meh as a comic, the joke is alright but I had to read t…  [+] (1 new reply) 01/05/2016 on My Graces +1
User avatar
#10 - Sewallman (01/05/2016) [-]
*nipples
#13 - She took it well. I had her go up and pay respects, she didn't… 01/05/2016 on idhitjack's profile 0
#42 - A guy at my work's son wanted a minecraft themed party, so he … 01/04/2016 on You only turn 3 once 0
#9 - My house looks like a child barfed all over. I keep my compute… 01/04/2016 on The Party 0
#40 - We have photo albums per child so we can let them have the exp…  [+] (1 new reply) 01/04/2016 on You only turn 3 once +1
User avatar
#41 - elmirbuljubasic (01/04/2016) [-]
Very good, i would have done the same.
#7 - Comment deleted  [+] (1 new reply) 01/04/2016 on Thoughts on this? 0
#9 - idhitjack Comment deleted by Sewallman
#5 - Comment deleted  [+] (1 new reply) 01/04/2016 on Thoughts on this? +2
#6 - ivroht Comment deleted by Sewallman
#27 - I also work out for a few hours each day. They're kids. Y… 01/04/2016 on You only turn 3 once +1
#26 - Comment deleted 01/04/2016 on You only turn 3 once 0
#22 - In a cancerous kind of way. I'd recommend it to people that li…  [+] (4 new replies) 01/04/2016 on You only turn 3 once +2
User avatar
#39 - itskennyandjosh (01/04/2016) [-]
I love the shows art style though
#23 - anon (01/04/2016) [-]
I don't understand how you have kids and still have time to browse this site
User avatar
#27 - Sewallman (01/04/2016) [-]
I also work out for a few hours each day.
They're kids. You don't need to smother them 24/7.

Just be there when they need you.
#26 - Sewallman has deleted their comment.
#9 - ...what?  [+] (1 new reply) 01/04/2016 on Parks and Rec 0
User avatar
#10 - Einsty (01/04/2016) [-]
>Sometimes I'm him, other times I'm her.
#2 - I like to relate my marriage to these two. Sometimes …  [+] (4 new replies) 01/04/2016 on Parks and Rec +7
#19 - utburd (01/04/2016) [-]
You're into pegging then?
#8 - anon (01/04/2016) [-]
Does that mean your wife is sometimes your husband or do you turn lesbian? I don't need to remind you that would be forbidden love.
User avatar
#9 - Sewallman (01/04/2016) [-]
...what?
User avatar
#10 - Einsty (01/04/2016) [-]
>Sometimes I'm him, other times I'm her.
#9 - Picture 01/04/2016 on have a thumb +2
#10 - My daughter wanted a Steven universe themed party for her 4th …  [+] (12 new replies) 01/04/2016 on You only turn 3 once +22
User avatar
#33 - elmirbuljubasic (01/04/2016) [-]
Upload them somewhere, imagine losing that memories
User avatar
#40 - Sewallman (01/04/2016) [-]
We have photo albums per child so we can let them have the experience of flipping through pages on forgotten moments.

Instead of scrolling, I think it's a better experience. My wife has the pictures on her phone printed once every few months.
User avatar
#41 - elmirbuljubasic (01/04/2016) [-]
Very good, i would have done the same.
User avatar
#21 - toastiewaffles (01/04/2016) [-]
10/10 dadding.
#17 - thesovereigngrave (01/04/2016) [-]
Impressive. That's a lot of hours.
User avatar
#42 - Sewallman (01/04/2016) [-]
A guy at my work's son wanted a minecraft themed party, so he spent weeks playing the game and learning about it so he could do stuff.

He spent a lot more time on it and he's the one who inspired me to do the same. My parents gave me a spongebob birthday party and I really enjoyed it. So I tried taking empathy into account as well.
User avatar
#15 - zetsuboukamina (01/04/2016) [-]
Was the show good?
User avatar
#22 - Sewallman (01/04/2016) [-]
In a cancerous kind of way. I'd recommend it to people that like the type of show
User avatar
#39 - itskennyandjosh (01/04/2016) [-]
I love the shows art style though
#23 - anon (01/04/2016) [-]
I don't understand how you have kids and still have time to browse this site
User avatar
#27 - Sewallman (01/04/2016) [-]
I also work out for a few hours each day.
They're kids. You don't need to smother them 24/7.

Just be there when they need you.
#26 - Sewallman has deleted their comment.
#4 - Only picture I have of my face, 01/04/2016 on Oh God Help Me -1
#35 - Walking 40 miles a day would take aproximately 12 hours. … 01/03/2016 on Years of FJ collecting 6 0
#24 - This pissed me off. I just got done working out, but I think I… 01/03/2016 on Vegans dont kill +1
#11 - It took 5 seconds to load the picture. I was anxiousl… 01/03/2016 on Anxiety +1
#18 - Electromagnetic cucks think this is cool? Try succesfully buil… 01/03/2016 on This is neat -2
#38 - Some of these aren't too far off, I guess. 01/03/2016 on In The Year 2000 0

Comments(1092):

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[ 1092 comments ]
Latest users (1): Sewallman, anonymous(2).
Anonymous comments allowed.
90 comments displayed.
#776 - Sewallman ONLINE (07/29/2015) [+] (2 replies)
stickied by Sewallman
#628 - Sewallman ONLINE (06/13/2015) [+] (8 replies)
stickied by Sewallman
The lil nigs
User avatar #1133 - admin (20 hours ago) [-]
was i supposed to get the patreon donation confirmation from you?
User avatar #1134 to #1133 - Sewallman ONLINE (20 hours ago) [-]
I'll be donating tomorrow. My wife crashed her van and needed me to buy 3 new car seats.

I get paid tomorrow so I can start paying you as well.
User avatar #1135 to #1134 - admin (20 hours ago) [-]
well damn, that sucks

you don't have to but if you do it's much appreciated
User avatar #1136 to #1135 - Sewallman ONLINE (19 hours ago) [-]
I've been wanting to donate to you for a while. Just as long as you take off ads for my account because the mobile redirect is pretty annoying when ever that's going on.
User avatar #1137 to #1136 - admin (17 hours ago) [-]
it's done
#1138 to #1137 - Sewallman ONLINE (9 hours ago) [-]
36.41 monthly
User avatar #1139 to #1138 - Sewallman ONLINE (9 hours ago) [-]
Oh. That's a picture of Taran Noah Smith. The bastard I was named after.
#1128 - yugiohkris has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #1129 to #1128 - Sewallman ONLINE (01/08/2016) [-]
My wife left for a week to calm down But she came back calm and collected. I didn't know if she'd come back when she did.

I was pretty depressed for that week.
User avatar #1130 to #1129 - yugiohkris ONLINE (01/08/2016) [-]
Oh so you are back together?
User avatar #1131 to #1130 - Sewallman ONLINE (01/08/2016) [-]
Yeah Mann, thabks for caring
User avatar #1132 to #1131 - yugiohkris ONLINE (01/08/2016) [-]
Ok that's great.
#1126 - shakeeb ONLINE (12/15/2015) [-]
Hey, if you want to blow off some steam, I'm here to help.
So is FJ if you ask them.
User avatar #1127 to #1126 - Sewallman ONLINE (12/15/2015) [-]
Nah man. I'm good.
It's nothing messy, we have 3 kids so we can't afford to have anything messy.
#1117 - Celarent (12/09/2015) [-]
L>R
AR-15 w/Standard 7.62 upper & Red Dot Sight
.300 Blackout upper w 3-9x40
.50 call beowulf w/ some **** acog

also have a SKS all synthetic, and a few handguns.
User avatar #1118 to #1117 - Sewallman ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]
What do you suggest for optics? I want something that can take me down range easily.

I'm spending my tax check on the build, so I'm making it a sewallman custom.
User avatar #1120 to #1118 - Celarent (12/09/2015) [-]
if you only plan to shoot less then like 50 meters just buy a really good RedDot, maybe with a magnifier? Anything more Id get you a nice scope. Im really not brand specific, My red dot i got on clearance at walmart for like 40$ reg 80$ and its decent, it works, has 4 different reticles, good for shorts - medium range
User avatar #1121 to #1120 - Sewallman ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]
I wanna hunt as well as shoot down range. Not hunt anything half a mile away.. But a fair distance.
User avatar #1122 to #1121 - Celarent (12/09/2015) [-]
id get a nice acog then, good range, and if you need more you can add a magnifier, and presto.
User avatar #1123 to #1122 - Sewallman ONLINE (12/10/2015) [-]
Coolio, thanks guy
User avatar #1124 to #1123 - Celarent (12/10/2015) [-]
yesssir send me some pics when you get it built
User avatar #1125 to #1124 - Sewallman ONLINE (12/10/2015) [-]
It'll be a few months while I wait for that income tax **** .

I'm having a custom handguard made, drop in 3fp trigger, nice m16 bolt carrier group.. Basically I have everything planned for the build besides the color scheme and stock. There are so many options, but the only mil spec stuff will probably be the pins.
User avatar #1119 to #1118 - Sewallman ONLINE (12/09/2015) [-]
In other words.. Price isn't really a factor.
#1115 - tacoarecrazy (12/01/2015) [-]
140 notifications about new uploads
why did i subscribe again
User avatar #1116 to #1115 - Sewallman ONLINE (12/01/2015) [-]
Because you know me irl
User avatar #1112 - nought (12/01/2015) [-]
the madman
User avatar #1113 to #1112 - Sewallman ONLINE (12/01/2015) [-]
What did I do?
User avatar #1114 to #1113 - nought (12/01/2015) [-]
be on FJ all the time
User avatar #1106 - mudkipfucker (11/30/2015) [-]
i commented on as many of your contents as possible
User avatar #1109 to #1106 - Sewallman ONLINE (12/01/2015) [-]
It feels nice to log in to 200 notifications again,
Joshlol was surprised that I haven't disabled content notifications.. But I read every comment someone leaves
User avatar #1110 to #1109 - mudkipfucker (12/01/2015) [-]
i read most, but i have notifications on
User avatar #1111 to #1110 - Sewallman ONLINE (12/01/2015) [-]
I just got done going through the notifications I acquired while I was off line at the store and cooking food.
#1105 - mudkipfucker (11/30/2015) [-]
i see you're posting again
User avatar #1107 to #1105 - Sewallman ONLINE (12/01/2015) [-]
Black Friday deals on computers makes it so I can post again
User avatar #1108 to #1107 - mudkipfucker (12/01/2015) [-]
i commented on all of them
gonna be double #1 again
User avatar #1103 - zionsype ONLINE (11/22/2015) [-]
Why are you in the OC comic makers channel
User avatar #1104 to #1103 - Sewallman ONLINE (11/22/2015) [-]
I make oc occasionally
User avatar #1102 - admin (11/03/2015) [-]
hey man, I wanted to thank you for posting content. I looked over your profile. Although this is a copy and paste message, I wanted to say I appreciate you contributing to FJ.

FJ got hit hard with a lot of downtime recently. I'm working hard to improve the site, adding new features (mp4s, webms, and GIFs in comments, new comment features, etc) and trying to make the site better for mobile.

Can you keep posting on the site? That would mean a lot to me. Thanks.
User avatar #1094 - cognosceteipsum (10/31/2015) [-]
Some of you indians are OK. Don't come to the highway of tears tomorrow.
User avatar #1095 to #1094 - Sewallman ONLINE (10/31/2015) [-]
You mean trail of tears?
User avatar #1096 to #1095 - cognosceteipsum (10/31/2015) [-]
Ah yes, my bad. The Highway of Tears was an entirely different thing.. tho I think some native lady went missing there too...
User avatar #1097 to #1096 - Sewallman ONLINE (10/31/2015) [-]
I live far enough away from both with a car that can't go over 30mph.

Why might i ask?
User avatar #1098 to #1097 - cognosceteipsum (10/31/2015) [-]
I thought the trail of tears was the place where they killed a bunch of natives?
User avatar #1099 to #1098 - Sewallman ONLINE (10/31/2015) [-]
Its were many natives had to walk, carrying their dead while being relocated to multiple different reservations.
User avatar #1100 to #1099 - cognosceteipsum (10/31/2015) [-]
My bad then. You see, Highway of Tears is where people went ''missing'' (were murdered) and trail of tears is where indians carried their dead. I made a combo of the two
User avatar #1101 to #1100 - Sewallman ONLINE (10/31/2015) [-]
Natives still go missing all the time,

But thats because many natives are bad with booze and hard drugs and talk to people who make them go missing.
User avatar #1102 to #1101 - cognosceteipsum (10/31/2015) [-]
hehe. you said thatin a funny way
User avatar #1084 - hektoroftroy (10/29/2015) [-]
Hey, Im glad we can put the past behind us
User avatar #1085 to #1084 - Sewallman ONLINE (10/29/2015) [-]
I dont hold grudges on here, this is a website for people to laugh, not get offended. So it cool.
User avatar #1083 - kijajouteh (10/29/2015) [-]
keep posting updates on story pls
User avatar #1080 - silkydelicious (10/29/2015) [-]
where... where did it go..
User avatar #1082 to #1080 - silkydelicious (10/29/2015) [-]
oh you just posted them. Well don't you pay me no nevermind... carry on.
User avatar #1076 - brcstar (10/29/2015) [-]
hi there
problematicporn
User avatar #1077 to #1076 - Sewallman ONLINE (10/29/2015) [-]
I posted it on my sewallman imgur account a few hours after I posted it here, how did you find out !

User avatar #1078 to #1077 - brcstar (10/29/2015) [-]
you said you posted it on reddit, and I saw it earlier on their today.
User avatar #1086 to #1078 - Sewallman ONLINE (10/30/2015) [-]
What was it again? Beerseastar?

I remember seeing you saying hi to me,
User avatar #1087 to #1086 - brcstar (10/30/2015) [-]
Yeah, that's one of my Reddit accounts.
#1089 to #1087 - brcstar has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #1088 to #1087 - Sewallman ONLINE (10/30/2015) [-]
one of them? How many do you have?
User avatar #1090 to #1088 - brcstar (10/30/2015) [-]
I have one on my computer i forgot the password and chrome has it stored , and one on my phone.
User avatar #1091 to #1090 - Sewallman ONLINE (10/30/2015) [-]
I've got 4 reddit accounts, easier to keep track of subreddits in my opinion if you have one per
User avatar #1079 to #1078 - Sewallman ONLINE (10/29/2015) [-]
Yeah, they seemed to like it. It's been up for about 14 hours on reddit.. Which is a little while for reddit.
User avatar #1075 - joeypie (10/28/2015) [-]
What the guy under me said, thats why im here
User avatar #1074 - niimajneb (10/28/2015) [-]
Yo Sewallman, mention me when you get the pt2 of that story from 4chan about the girl having the hots for her brother.
#1081 to #1074 - anon (10/29/2015) [-]
Also looking for a mention. Luv u bb
#1068 - shakeeb ONLINE (10/19/2015) [-]
Was I playing with you in Town of Salem a couple of hours ago?
I only know one Samuel Sewall.
User avatar #1069 to #1068 - Sewallman ONLINE (10/19/2015) [-]
I'm related to the guy from the Salem witch trials.

I haven't played the game at all though,
#1070 to #1069 - shakeeb ONLINE (10/19/2015) [-]
Ah, it's a pretty casual game, definitely worth playing.

Carry on being #1! And say hi to the kids for me.
#1065 - dubstepforme (10/19/2015) [-]
Owning that front page today man
User avatar #1066 to #1065 - Sewallman ONLINE (10/19/2015) [-]
I'm only at 12k thumbs right now. my top in 24 hours has been 35k
User avatar #1067 to #1066 - dubstepforme (10/19/2015) [-]
I just saw your name on alot of posts lol but thats crazy
User avatar #1071 to #1067 - Sewallman ONLINE (10/20/2015) [-]
Ha, well thanks guy.
User avatar #1054 - supahsayin (10/17/2015) [-]
Hey, Sewallman. Can you repost this article/post?
/Cancer+cure+potentially+found/text/5715696/
www.medicaldaily.com/malaria-parasite-cancer-cure-weve-been-looking-accidental-discovery-displays-357302
I honestly don't care about content thumbs, I'm fine if you don't mention me anywhere, but I just want people to know about this development and be able to discuss it.
User avatar #1062 to #1058 - supahsayin (10/17/2015) [-]
Thanks, man.
User avatar #1057 to #1054 - mudkipfucker (10/17/2015) [-]
sure i'll repost it for you
User avatar #1063 to #1057 - Sewallman ONLINE (10/17/2015) [-]
Thanks Muddy,

I was on a well needed vacation and I was trying to get ready to go back home when I saw it.
User avatar #1055 to #1054 - Sewallman ONLINE (10/17/2015) [-]
************ , you wanna be a nice guy? Im not around wifi and going to be going on an airplane soonish
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