**RageRambo smiles**


Well. How was your little vacation?

**Nintendokami sighs**

It was...interesting. I got a lot of scars from fire.

Well. I'm sure you'll live. Regeneration makes life so much easier. If not a little droll.

**Nintendokami points to the one on her throat**

Well yeah... But look how cool it makes me look!

I suppose that's true. Have you seen wolv any time lately?

**Nintendokami nods**

I see him every day. But he doesn't like talking..

Well. That's his loss.

**Nintendokami nods**

What were you doing all this time?
Did you ever figure out what that guy wanted...?

**RageRambo sighs**

Talking. As for what he wants. Well. You're smart. What does a politician want?

Money and mass amounts of power over people?

Bingo chica As far as that goes... Well that's pretty much it. He wants to rule. And he has the power to do it.

Rule over... what? Most everyone is either dead or hiding.

Who else is still alive? That is worth being alive? Us. From what I gathered I think he wants us to either obey him. Or he'll deal with us.

Whaaat...

Yeah, good luck with that. It's gonna take more than his super armor to get that out of me.

Well. He makes some pretty good points. I enjoy living. I couldn't beat him with anything I've tried. You're still welcome. But you do know how crazy politics can be.

**Nintendokami gulps**

You're not actually going to... are you...?

**RageRambo shakes his head**


Me? No. Him however... That is in your hands.

**rambowookie pulls a cigar out and starts smoking**

Any day now.

**Nintendokami thinks of something and runs to the back of the building quickly with a loud howl**

**rambowookie rolls my eyes and follows the howl**


Gonna sic one of your little pets on me?

**Nintendokami laughs and comes around the block on the back of a rampaging hunter**

Rage is right... You ARE smarter than you look!

**rambowookie shrugs and blows some smoke from his mouth**


Which body part do you want me to give back? I'll give you the head if you want.

**Nintendokami jumps off the Hunter's back as he runs into you, running behind you and slamming her metal bat into the back of your head**

Wooo, home run!

**rambowookie wrestles with the hunter and rips it's head off just in time to be hit by your bat. I toss you the dead hunter's head**

If your claws didn't hurt me. What makes you think an aluminum bat would? By the way. This belongs to you. Let me spell it out for you. You. Can't. Hurt. Me.

**Nintendokami gasps**

You killed my Tick-Tock!

I don't care if I can't hurt you! That won't stop me from trying my hardest!

**rambowookie puts his foot on the head and takes another breathe on my cigar**

You're fighting an uphill battle. But I like your style. Whenever you're ready to give up just let me know.

**Nintendokami sighs**

Considering I'm still evolving, there's only so many attacks I have..

**rambowookie claps his hands and offers you one**

Well. You're not dead. And clearly not much of a threat. Congratulations! You got the job!

**Nintendokami thinks for a second and shakes your hand with her tentacles**

Sweet!

**rambowookie shakes your tendrils**


Let me know when your other friend is in town. Wolv-something. I want to see if he's made of the same stuff.

Hmmm... Well. You'll see what you get once we get through your final interview.

**Nintendokami stares up at you**

Interview...?

**rambowookie places one foot in the air and slams it on the ground, glowing green around his body**

Let's see if you're tough enough.

**Nintendokami growls and braces herself**

Let's do this.

**rambowookie smirks and cracks his knuckles**

Let's see how many pieces I can break you into.

**Nintendokami holds out her arms**

You are always welcome to try.

**rambowookie smirks as a black coating covers his skin**

Tell you what. I'm a nice guy. Ladies first.

**Nintendokami dashes towards you, slashing at your chest**

You'll regret that!

**rambowookie stands still, smiling as your claws bounce off my chest**

Hold on. Let me get this look on your face on camera. It's priceless.

**Nintendokami growls angrily**

**rambowookie right fist glows bright orange and throws an uppercut to your chin sending you flying**

DAMN! You went WAY farther than Rage.

**Nintendokami hits a wall and shakes her head, standing up and dashing at you**

I'll show you, then!

**rambowookie laughs and puts his arms open**


Rage didn't lie! You're not one to give up! Give me your best shot!

**Nintendokami jumps forward, wrapping her tentacles around you tight to keep you still**

**rambowookie looks at the tendrils and rips them off and grabs you by your neck and squeezing it.**

You think your virus gunk is enough to hold me? Rage tried that. I'm not like those limp-dick lawyers Or Chicken shit bureaucrats!

**Nintendokami coughs loudly, giggling at your statement**

I get choked harder than this by my own collar. Is that the best you got?

**rambowookie throws you into the air and as you fall kicks you.**

You really are a glutton for punishment aren't you?

**Nintendokami grabs a pole with her tentacles and flips back, holding onto the wall before she hits it and climbing up to the roof**

I'm an Evolved! It's in my nature!

**rambowookie jumps on top of the wall**

Sure. You're tough as he said. But you're not nearly as strong as he lead on. Tell you what. I'm going to stand right here. See what you can do.

**Nintendokami sorts threw her options in her head, trying to find something suitable**

...

I heard politicians were thick skinned. But he's on a whole other level.

W-what's that mean?!

Well. I think it's up to him to explain that to you. He wants to "Interview" you.

**Nintendokami whines and wraps her tentacles around you**

**RageRambo gets out of his way**

Don't show any weakness. He WILL exploit it. Don't hesitate either.

**Nintendokami steps forward, nodding**

Alright..

**RageRambo pats your back**

You're still alive. Which is good.

**Nintendokami squeals**

Did you see how good I did?!

**RageRambo nods**


He's a tough bastard. You did great. Now he wants to interview Wolvester. If he shows up. That will be fun to watch.

**Nintendokami sits down and stretches her back**

I'm sure we will. He's never one to pass up a challenge.

We should get some cadavers for when he shows up. We can watch A politician and a virus beat the hell out of eachother.

**Nintendokami runs off, going to find some human bodies**

**RageRambo jumps off of the building and starts poking around for some bodies.**


Here we go.

**Nintendokami carries a human back, unconscious and alive**

Look!
He was in a basement!

**RageRambo nods**


Keep him out cold. When He shows up. There's going to be fireworks. And maybe a leveled city.

**Nintendokami hits the man's head against the pavement and carries him to the roof**

I can't wait~

Neither can I.

**RageRambo raises one of his eyebrows**

I'm... Interested. Where on earth did you find a Cubone?

He's a human.. well, he was. I smashed his skull with a bat before I infected him and he wasn't healing right, so we put the cubone skull on him... it kinda just grew that way.

Isn't that right, Bolty?

E-Eep!!!

U-Umm....Y-Yes...

You had me both interested and concerned at the same time.

Come on, I'm a lonely Evolved. I needed some sort of pet, right? 'specially since Wolvie ATE my human boy.

Now be nice and say hello, Bolty.

I could never stand people long enough to bother wasting enough time to form a relationship.

**Nintendokami grins**

Ah, but we're still friends, right?

Considering you haven't shot me or tried to kill me... More than once. I guess I should say yes.

Why the heck would I do that?!

Like... you'd probably snap my neck even before I got close!

**rambowookie walks from behind a wall**

Hello sweet cheeks. Your friend Rage has told me quite a bit about you.

**Nintendokami gulps softly and steps forward**

Um... hello. Nice to meet you.

**rambowookie nods and walks forward offering a large hand**

Don't be scared. I don't bite that hard.

**Nintendokami smiles softly and reaches out, shaking her hand with her tentacle**

**rambowookie shakes her tendril quite firmly**

My friend Rage and I have discussed what we're going to do with the world. Since he like people as much as a virus can. We entered a mutual agreement.

**Nintendokami tilts her head**

What sort of agreement?

Well. Clearly this world's people are fucked. We "worked" out that he would get me elected and I would fix this shithole we call a planet.

Isn't it hard to get elected when all the humans are dead?

Makes the competition that much easier. Less whiny people to please.

What are you getting out of doing this?

Power. Prestige. Control. A new world. What more could anyone ask for?

What do WE get out of this?

Remember shortly after we met? I remember you... Well. At least telling me you had to kill me. But that's beside the point. I have however. Entered politics. Sort of. I have a friend I want you to meet.

**Nintendokami hides behind you quickly**

He's kind of terrifying.

**RageRambo smirks**

Since when did humans scare you so much?

**Nintendokami bites her lip**

If he's friends with you, he's not just a normal human.

You're smarter than you look. And for a politician. Let's just say, you really don't want to get on his bad side. You're right about him not being normal. But he is human.

**Nintendokami holds onto your jacket**

...Who is he? Where did he come from?

His name is Senator Wookie. And the presidential candidate for the US's 2016 election. He sent me an email and asked for an "Interview"

What... kind of interview?

Wait, how do you even get an internet connection?

A very similar interview that took place between me and your friend wolvester. But... A little more one sided.

In this day and age. IT's not that hard. Who doesn't have a wireless internet connection from their cellphone?

What happened, then? What did you talk about?

I'm not going to lie. He's a hell of a lot tougher than he looks. More or less fixing this rat-fucked planet. He and I share some ideals.

You know... I'm kinda getting the feeling that there's a bad side to this.

U-Um...

H-Hello Mister Rage Sir...

So you're her little pet?

Ummm...Y-Yes....

Thats me...

Do what you want. Surprise me.

Well. Long time no see.

**Nintendokami smiles**

And here I thought you took a Whitelight bath~

Hahaha. No, I've just been pretty busy lately. Finally have some free time.

**Nintendokami stretches her back**

I realized that it's been quiet since we cleared those streets.

**RageRambo cracks his neck**

It has. Have any misadventures while I was preoccupied?

**Nintendokami shakes her head**

No, nothing since our tank massacre.

I've been enjoying it all. Sleeping under trees, playing on the swings... just.. being happy without any humans to bother me.

Well. It is hard to have a misadventure without anyway to get into trouble.

Exactly!

There is no one in a 7 block radius of my house!

So you found a house? You thinking about starting a family?

I already have a son... well, close to it. A human that I infected a long time ago and I keep him as a pet. He calls me Mommy, so I suppose he is my son.
He survived my clawing and cutting and very nearly killing him, so I suppose he passed the survival test.

The house belonged to a couple of humans that I ate. It's pretty and you can see the moon so wonderfully.

Awe. That almost sounds sweet.

We spent last night sleeping in a tree. Where do you sleep when you're not here?

I haven't slept in nine months.

W-what?!

Why not?

Well... Why would I waste a good 8 or 9 hours on something I don't need?

I forgot you don't have to sleep..

But what about our sleepover?

Sleepover? With whom might I ask?

At my house over there!

Fair enough. Will there be Cadavers?

....
I can get some.

**RageRambo grabs the gun, spins it around mowing down anything that moves spraying blood and guts all over the street**

Run run! Run as fast as you can!!!

**Nintendokami floors the gas pedal, screeching on the road before zooming forward**

Wooooo!!!

**RageRambo walks over after tossing a dead soldier aside.**

I haven't gone anywhere.

**Nintendokami wags her tail**

I thought you left without me...

**RageRambo smiles**

Of course not. I would never do that to you. We're friends.

**Nintendokami squeals loudly and buries her head back into the tank, pressing buttons until the engine starts**

Ready for some road rage?

**RageRambo smirks and jumps inside of the tank**

Do you know how to drive one of these?

**Nintendokami presses down on the gas, slamming into a man in front of the tank and smiling at the loud crack of his body as I run over him**

I have no idea how... but that is their problem, now isn't it?

**RageRambo pulls down the visor and looks out**

Well then. This should be interesting then. Anywhere is the exit.

**Nintendokami rushes out the door, breaking the hinges and rushing out into the street**

Left or right?!

**RageRambo looks both ways**

There are more people on the left but more cars and stuff to destroy on the right.

**Nintendokami turns left quickly**

We can circle around the block and get both! But we have to get the people before they run somewhere I can't drive.

**RageRambo smiles at all the people getting liquefied from the treads**


Good idea. This is a tank. where CAN'T you go? Except the sky.

**Nintendokami points up**

The 12th floor?

**RageRambo grabs a tank shell**

Oh That's not an issue at all. Mr. Blasty here will help with that.

**Nintendokami laughs**

I don't know how to work that thing!
You have to control it while I drive!

**RageRambo loads the shell and starts aiming.**


Well you're the tank commander. Give me a target and I'll make it disappear.

**Nintendokami points to the tall building where she could see people barricading their windows in fear**

Right there!!

**RageRambo smirks and aims the cannon towards the building. I fire the cannon blowing the entire bottom part of the building apart.**


And... FIRE.

**Nintendokami swerves out of the way of the fallen glass and debris**

Hahaha!!

**RageRambo opens the top hatch and grabs the 50.cal**

You know what's fun about tanks? Mounted guns. Nothing says let's kill people. Than 600 rounds of death.

**Nintendokami looks out of the window**

Free target!
Shoot anywhere you want!

**wolvester turns around and points his rifle at your head**

Allow me to reiterate that...
I recommend you get to where you're going.
It's not safe out here, and I'd hate to have to clean your bodies off the street.

**Nintendokami pokes you in the head**

Hmm... you are...uhh...
What's wrong with you??

**wolvester smirks, and pokes you in the side with the barrel of his rifle**

Simply doing my job.

**RageRambo decapitates a soldier and kicks the head into the air.**

Fair enough. First one to slice the head in half gets bonus points.

**wolvester lunges at the head, blade forward.**

**Nintendokami smiles and jumps onto the soldier's shoulders, leaning on his head**

Come on!
Take us to the tanks!

Come on, RageRambo! This guy could totally escort us.

**RageRambo shakes his head**

Alright "sir." Lead the way.

**wolvester drops Kami off his shoulders and walks off in the direction of a base, ignoring you two.**

They never listen...

**RageRambo rolls his eyes**

Come on Kami. Let's go.

**wolvester walks into an alley, he leans against the side of a normal looking building, placing his hand over a crack on the wall. A section of wall moves to reveal a staircase.**

I hope you weren't looking for an ordinary French base...

**RageRambo lifts his eyebrows**


It's always something with you isn't?

**wolvester shrugs and walks down.**

You travel enough of the world you learn things... and cause mass panic...
Think about it like this, they have better tanks.

**RageRambo follows**


I don't care if they're American, Russian, German, or even Polish. Unless aliens invade I doubt they have much use for them.

**wolvester stops at the end of the stairs, looking over a few tanks guarded by soldiers.**

Ladies first.

**Nintendokami jumps off and stares at the tanks, running over to one**

I want this one!

**wolvester jumps down and slices a soldier aiming at you.**

Pay attention!
RageRambo, little help?

**Nintendokami pulls herself onto the tank and tries to claw her way inside**

Let me iiiiin!!

**RageRambo shoots his whipfist and slices a soldier aiming a grenade launcher at Wolvester.**


Keep an eye out. I'm not picking your brains off of the floor!

**wolvester leaps onto a soldier crushes his head with hammerfist.**

I'll regenerate. Focus on her, don't let her get hurt...

**RageRambo pounces on a soldier eviscerating him.**

She can take care of herself.

**Nintendokami senses a soldier behind her and she instinctively wraps a tentacle around his throat without turning around, slamming him into the floor until she hears a crack**

**wolvester jumps on top of the tank, ripping the lid open for Nintendokami.**

I know she can...
I'll still do whatever I can to keep her help alive.

**RageRambo infects a soldier with a bio-bomb and kicks him to the other side of the base making a large gory explosion dragging debris and body parts to the center.**

Except let her get stronger.

**wolvester leaps off the tank, tearing into a soldier.**

I allow her to train and get stronger...
But I'm still going to have her back and protect her.

**Nintendokami jumps inside, pressing buttons until she sees light**

Thanks!

**Nintendokami points in the direction of the tanks and relaxes on the soldier's back**

**RageRambo walks casually beside one of the tanks, jumps on the hood and grabs the cannon, pulling it from the bottom half of the tank and jumps into the air slamming it down on the bottom half.**

**Nintendokami wraps my tentacles around the soldier's neck and walks him over to the tank**

Let's go, Mister.

**RageRambo snickers**

Fair enough. Come on. What do you want to kill or see first?

I want to kill enough people to get a decent bowl of noodles!

I have the urge to blow something up. Preferably a tank or something... IT's been 5 minutes since I've butchered someone and I'm getting bored.

Do they have tanks?

Of course. I know it's hard to believe. But the States aren't the only one with a military. They just probably keep them in a more secret place than the states.

**Nintendokami turns to a man cowering alone in a corner, trying to stay hidden**

I am sure we could... convince a couple of people to tell us where.

**RageRambo turns towards the hiding man and starts walking slowly**


I'm sure we could. You want to "ask" him for directions?

**Nintendokami smiles quietly, taking a few steps forward and wrapping my tentacle around his throat, pulling the man into my arms as he fidgets and screams**

Excuse me, sir! Where are your tanks?!

**wolvester struggles against your grip**

Je... Je n'ai aucune idée où les réservoirs sont...

**Nintendokami shakes you angrily**

I don't understand you!!

**RageRambo watches you as you torment the man**


I'd answer her. she's out for blood.

**Nintendokami whines angrily**

I can't understand him..

**RageRambo grabs the man by his legs and tears him in half and consumes him.**

About 40 miles that way. And great. I now speak french.

**Nintendokami holds her stomach and walks quietly**

**RageRambo walks on the side of the street**


You're acting weird. I thought you wanted to go to Paris and play King Kong on the Eiffel tower?

**Nintendokami looks around at the empty streets of evacuated people**

Of course I do!
I'm just a little hungry.

The world is your oyster! Punch the door to a restaurant, grab something you think looks tasty. Eat. Kill someone. Repeat.

**Nintendokami turns and sees a guard with a black uniform on running towards off, yelling at us to stop. The guard stops in front of her and she stares as he rambles on about something.**

You know... there is something strange about this guard...

What are you doing here!?

**Nintendokami stands on her heels with a smile**

Well, you see... we were just in town and looking for some...delicacies.

No one is meant to be on the streets...
I recommend you get to where you're going, post haste.

**Nintendokami takes my tentacle and spins you around**

There. Now we are gone.
Isn't that how it works?

Back in the states. When they'be been dealing with this virus for nearly a year. And were far more desperate to get rid of it. I don't think the french whose army is much less in size would be much of a threat.

Hah! They won't know what hit them...

Are we close to it?

No they won't. Should be quite the fun and easy little fight.

And I finally get to eat something decent!

What are you gonna do first?

Probably consume a few frenchies. It'll make tormenting them all the more entertaining if I can understand what they're saying.

Mind translating for me a little?

I wouldn't mind in the slightest.

**Nintendokami smiles and wags her tail, staring out the window**

I can't wait until we get there...

**RageRambo nods and flies the plane until hearing a french waring over the radio about being an unregistered flight.**


Good news! You can survive a 15000 foot drop right?

**Nintendokami laughs**

Probably!

**RageRambo walks out of the pilots seat and kicks off the door and jumps out**

See you at the bottom!

**Nintendokami jumps out with the water bottle in her hand, feeling the wind rush past her hair as she stares at the sky, praying that she will survive**

**RageRambo adjusts his fall and crashes straight into a large hotel punching through the roof all the way to the bottom floor causing the building to start to sway**

**Nintendokami hits the ground on her back hard and sits up, aching but okay.**

That... awesome.

**RageRambo gets on his feet, kicks down the front door and walks over to you**

Thank you for flying Air Rage. We hope to see you again soon.

**Nintendokami laughs and runs over to you**

We never...actually landed that thing. How are we going to get it back?!

You... Do know that there is more than a single plane in existence right?

But that one has seat warmers..

**RageRambo shakes his head and laughs**

You are a really picky flier aren't you?

**Nintendokami shrugs**

Says the guy who tried to drink the liquor.

you're nearing my home

i warn you and him, if that assgas reaches it....monkey trouble

**RageRambo snickers**

Sounds like you're all ready for our invasion. It'll be interresting to slaughter people from a different country.

How far are we...?

Don't know. There should be a map on your side. check it.

**Nintendokami looks and sees a yellow rolled up paper**

Here.. can you look and drive? I can't read maps.

**RageRambo sets the plane on autopilot and looks over at the map.**

A few hours at the most. Go in the back and see if they have something to drink. Preferably something alcoholic.

**Nintendokami runs in the back of the plane. A few minutes later, she comes back with 4 bottles of expensive looking Cognac and a bottle of water**

Here you go, sir.

**RageRambo looks at the Cognac and takes a bottle.**


Wanna see if we can get drunk?

**Nintendokami laughs**

I've never drank anything before. I'll take it!

**RageRambo opens his bottle.**

Me either. Bottoms up.

**Nintendokami drinks a gulp of the bitter liquid and coughs loudly**

**RageRambo drinks a few sips and makes a disgusted face**

Not going to lie. I've tasted better helicopter fuel.

**Nintendokami whispers and gulps water**

It tastes terrible.

**RageRambo seals up his bottle**

I can list you a lot of things that taste better than that. Makes me wonder how it's such a hard habit to kick.

And it's so expensive... Humans are so weird...

Oh well. They're a complicated species. What're we going to do with them. As much fun introducing their insides to their outsides. The fun will only last for so long...

Then we have to go somewhere else, right?

So we should make sure this plane is filled on gas.

We will at some point. But it's not to early for some long term thinking. Ah, it has about 3/4 a tank with is more than enough to get us to France.

And we have to put it somewhere safe where no one can break it.

Easy. we park it at an airport. Infect said airport and have some juggernauts and brawlers guarding it. Worse comes to worse we bring in a few Goliaths to play and that should keep anyone away from our plane.

What will people do if they just see random infected everywhere?!

Won't they try and bomb us again?

Chances are she got evacuated with the rest of them. She's pretty sneaky.

I hope she didn't forget my zombie blanket. I gave it to her to thank her for helping me before she kicked me out, but... y'know, I kinda wanted it back one day.

It could be our excuse for going to see her!
You want to, don't you?

Who knows? Maybe she still has it. I guess we could visit her at some point in time. Doubt she'll be feeling the same way about us after all of this.

It's not our fault!

I'm pretty certain the small genocide we did the other day was our fault.

Genociiiiide? Nope, I can't recall.

I only remember a pretty blue dress and a nice dinner.

**RageRambo can't help but snicker**

Fair enough.

I'm sure she'll... maybe understand if we explain it to her?

She's still human remember? You know how hard it is for them to understand us and our reasons.

**Nintendokami stares at the water**

...
Yeah... I.. I know.

Hey... If it makes you feel any better. I'll take the blame.

**Nintendokami sits up quickly**

No!
I can take the blame for what I did... It's what I am, too...

Alright alright. but dont' say I never offered.

Where are we going to go?

The entire world is our playground! First. France. The smelly french have had it too good for too long.

And we can eat some pasta!

My favorite foods!

We can do whatever we want! Who's going to stop us?

Can we force people to make me pasta?!

Hell. You could force people to do anything if you put a gun to their head. Or in this case a claw.

**Nintendokami bounces in her seat**

I-I can't wait...

**RageRambo hops across the buildings and nods**

Yeah. North side of the city. That's where the international airport is!

**Nintendokami whimpers**

I didn't change my clothes yet!

Really? Who's going to see you? The city is empty!

**Nintendokami thinks**

Y-you're right...
But what if they took all the copters?!

Good for them. We're taking a plane. You don't fly a helicopter internationally.

I don't know how to fly a plane!

I do! Why else would I suggest it?

You suggested the helicopter, too...

I suggested that for getting to the ship. The plane for getting across the ocean.

**Nintendokami points to a huge airport**

That's it, right?

**RageRambo nods and points to an open private jet**

Correct. And that my friend is our ticket to an international incident.

**Nintendokami runs to it and climbs into the door**

Alright, how do we work this thing?!

**RageRambo jumps inside the plane and climbs into the cockpit. I start hot-wiring the plane and smirk when I hear the engines start up.**

This one controls the throttle. These control the direction.

And you are... sure you can fly this thing, right?

**RageRambo backs the plane up and slowly starts driving to the run way.**


I've consumed a handful of pilots. So unless planes have changed much in the last 6 weeks. I'm sure we'll be fine.

**Nintendokami curls up in her chair**

In that place... I'm just gonna take a little nap...

**RageRambo rolls his eyes and takes the plane off watching as the bombers start to fly over dropping large bombs in the city.**

That was close.

**Nintendokami looks out the window, teary eyed**

....
That was my favorite place...

**RageRambo sighs**


It's not easy or fun to watch your home get destroyed. But don't worry. We'll have quite a bit of fun finding a new one and slicing open people who disagree.

**Nintendokami sighs and closes her eyes**

....
Where's Dana...?

**RageRambo watches the sun**


Yeah. There's a good chance something or someone else is out there. Makes me think. Maybe. There could be entire planets filled with different aliens. All ripe for the slaughter. How would it feel for you to grab an alien. And rip it's spine or equivalent out?

**Nintendokami stares at her hands**

I...I never thought about that.
Do you think their skin is slimy and elastic? Like octopus tentacles.