Rank #4472 on CommentsLevel 369 Comments: FJ Noble
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|Last status update:|| |
|Date Signed Up:||1/30/2010|
|FunnyJunk Career Stats|
|Highest Content Rank:||#2223|
|Highest Comment Rank:||#77|
|Content Thumbs:||3444 total, 3603 , 159|
|Comment Thumbs:||76251 total, 81153 , 4902|
|Content Level Progress:|| 43% (43/100) |
Level 134 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry → Level 135 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry
|Comment Level Progress:|| 90.9% (909/1000) |
Level 369 Comments: FJ Noble → Level 370 Comments: Immortal
|Times Content Favorited:||218 times|
|Total Comments Made:||10528|
latest user's comments
|#2 - Reminds me of this story: [+] (14 new replies)||03/27/2016 on Wrong number||+12|
#99 - catburglarpenis (03/28/2016) [-]
The Prime Minister will wreck your ass.
"Yeah I'm American so I just called up Vladimir Putin's private nuke stash to ask him if his refrigerator is running. Hah! International lines protect me."
*FBI busts in*
"Sir, you're being arrested for agitating possible nuclear war and screwing up diplomatic relations. You'll be sent to Guantanamo for he rest of your life for endangering all your countrymen and indeed the world. You're a monster. This will take us months to smooth over, you fuck!"
#105 - catburglarpenis (03/28/2016) [-]
You are anywhere. The bomb designation is unmarked, but with what little knowledge of international relations you have, you conclude that if this bomb indeed went off, it would do far more harm than good in any scenario. The thing would be a scapegoat, some country would blame another for the detonation and retaliate, someone would be outed for improper use and storage and a war would ignite, or protesters would take over a government through hostile force because they believe they could store it better, or all of the above. You know of one thing for sure: hundreds of thousands of people will die if you interact with this object at all. In the heat of such a moment, you cannot remember where this room is in time and space. Is it a city center? The basement of a loved one's house? Is your loving wife and children there? Are you even married? Nothing comes to mind as you stare deeply into this explosive, with all the power of Satan's armies held within. Your breath catches in your throat. What do you do?
#106 - bme (03/28/2016) [-]
I sit and consider everything I know about this bizarre situation. And at first I do nothing. As my third day with no food or water aproaches I realize that I will stave to death if left alone. Ive been put in this empty room beyond the grasp of space and time for one purpose This is my destiny, i never even had a choice. With all the force of Thor I slam my lone ballpoint companion into my biggest question.
#107 - catburglarpenis (03/28/2016) [-]
Your dick falls off. What's worse, as you look around you realize that you're at school wearing no pants, and everyone is laughing at you. You remember now that you contracted leprosy in a bad hunting accident, and you thought that can of beans you ate looked pretty iffy. More embarrassed than ever, your hallucinogenic haze wears thin, and you remember that you were on your way to a funeral before this whole thing kicked off. Your loved ones had perished in a freak accident at a nuclear plant.
Written by R.L. Stein.
#6 - anon (03/27/2016) [-]
|#45 - Older cars will let you try, but you will not succeed.||03/23/2016 on life hack||+20|
|#4 - I like waking up before my alarm goes off. That means I don't … [+] (5 new replies)||03/18/2016 on being polite||+65|
#42 - anon (03/18/2016) [-]
I know right, one of the most satisfying things there are
#37 - junglebboyy (03/18/2016) [-]
I hate waking up a full 15 minutes early cause for some reason when I do that I know COULD get a few more minutes of sweet sweet mother sleep to give me a few more moments of rest but i get so caught up with the fact that I'll have to get up in a few minutes and I just lay their for the rest of the the 15 minutes mad at myself for not being able to sleep and mad at the universe for being able to freeze and let me get some more shit eye
|#8 - mmmmmmmmmmm||03/09/2016 on poor pupper||+2|
|#8 - The danger with that is that it makes a spark when connected, … [+] (8 new replies)||03/09/2016 on jumpstart a car||+5|
#10 - anon (03/09/2016) [-]
Never gonna happen.
|#26 - This is why I was always afraid of the pool drain. They s…||03/08/2016 on Why jobs like underwater...||0|
|#4 - In English, smart is an adjective as well as the make of the c… [+] (2 new replies)||03/03/2016 on Party like its 16/16/16||+17|
#8 - anon (03/03/2016) [-]
Funny I find it weird to say "He drives a Smart car" - the meaning seems ambiguous be it is the car clever? Or is it a Smart. Instead saying "He drives a Smart" makes more sense, because well "a Smart" is definitely not correct therefore saying "He drives a Smart" is the better option.
|#12 - yes||03/03/2016 on Uranium decaying and...||0|
|#28 - This is the only way to die, where you can be sure not to go t…||03/02/2016 on Suicide Helmet||0|
|#25 - Race to the bottom. Hooray.||03/02/2016 on EQUALITY||+2|