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Jewssassin

Last status update:
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Date Signed Up:8/11/2010
FunnyJunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#6296
Highest Content Rank:#9725
Highest Comment Rank:#1913
Content Thumbs: 57 total,  125 ,  68
Comment Thumbs: 7150 total,  9039 ,  1889
Content Level Progress: 20% (1/5)
Level 1 Content: New Here → Level 2 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 55% (55/100)
Level 269 Comments: Pure Win → Level 270 Comments: Ninja Pirate
Subscribers:2
Content Views:15563
Times Content Favorited:7 times
Total Comments Made:3590
FJ Points:7089

latest user's comments

#15 - I have an extremely strong feeling that girl is NOT getting in…  [+] (4 new replies) 10/01/2015 on The reason to have sport car +4
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#20 - plasterboy (10/01/2015) [-]
I got a 97 civic with drift spoiler, costom shakotan exaust, painted rims, need for speed stickers on the windows, a sweet hood scoop, and chrome steering wheel. It's so fast.
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#25 - Jewssassin (10/01/2015) [-]
Im so happy for you.
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#16 - gottobeskippy (10/01/2015) [-]
lmfaooooooo I own a mildly lowered accord, but in shop today at college one of the 2nd year fags with a slammed to hell Del Sol spent 2 hours aligning his car because he spent a full hour taking off body parts and searching for wood to make the angle easier. did all that work and still scrapped his side skirts to hell and back shit had me rolling son.
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#26 - Jewssassin (10/01/2015) [-]
Yesterday we had a 350Z that was freshly cambered to hell come and ask us for an alignment. It took us 15 minutes of telling him "No" before he left. The shop is just 20 miles outside of Baltimore and the guy said hes driving to Ocean City MD and back again this weekend, thats why he needs the alignment. His brand fucking new tires will not survive that trip at all.
#122 - Weeaboos shouldnt be allowed to listen to Classic Rock. 09/27/2015 on Sing It With Me 0
#122 - I just want to know how blue my name is 08/24/2015 on Remember the pinkies 0
#42 - But thats what they said about Skyrim  [+] (2 new replies) 08/08/2015 on Bethesda just gives and gives 0
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#55 - bendeman (08/08/2015) [-]
and it eventually came true, with the ability to reset skill trees and regain those perk points. Doesn't add any value to the game though.
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#45 - dehnoobshow (08/08/2015) [-]
Skyrim doesn't end after the main story line...
I remember murdering Alduin and then going on about my business as usual.
#816 - That cop is a saint. He handled that situation so well. 07/31/2015 on SJW Gets Arrested, Screams... 0
#145 - Failure On Race Day* 07/15/2015 on yea pretty much +1
#130 - (2/2) After my band finished we went back into a bar and s… 06/27/2015 on Do you have a girlfrand? 0
#120 - I've got a story any shy guy should hear. TL;DR at the bott…  [+] (1 new reply) 06/27/2015 on Do you have a girlfrand? 0
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#130 - Jewssassin (06/27/2015) [-]
(2/2)
After my band finished we went back into a bar and she had a beer and I had a water and we just talked for about an hour and a half until the concert was over (this is a venue with a main stage and several different bars, some of which had stages in them). We walked back to my fathers car and started driving home, and as we were driving out of the parking garage she gave me a kiss on my cheek and told me she loves going out with me because she always has so much fun. That little kiss set me off. Just one little kiss.
I grinned at her, it was ear to ear because I knew what was coming next. I told her I enjoy being with her because shes so much fun and started rubbing her leg, which was the most sexual thing I've really done with a girl in the last 8 months. We get out of the parking garage and she starts kissing and biting my neck as I race to catch as many red lights as possible so we could make out between the lights.
Im surprised we made it home without a car crash or getting pulled over, because she was all over me, and I couldnt keep my hands off her. Thank GOD I had my dads car because driving a stick shift like that would not of worked. And his car is fast and sexy, so every time I put the pedal down and raced down the road she squealed with excitement, which only turned me on more and made me drive even faster.

I didnt take her right home when we got back to our side of town. I took her to a parking lot and threw myself at her. We had the hottest make out session of my life, and I was so turned on, which was very strange for me. I've always had problems getting it up for girls because of my crippling nervousness. But that sloppy ass make out session was the best thing to happen to me at the time.

Eventually I did take her home. I didnt want to but I had to work the next day and she had to pick up her little boy. But we have been seeing eachother every weekend. I've said it multiple times, everything with her just feels right. Nothing feels forced at all. Our sex life is great. We are the best each other have ever had, we just turn each other on so much.!! Before her I had issues with getting and keep erections during sex. Masturbation was easy for me, but sex proved to be difficult, but not with her.!!

Now here is the important part of this whole story.

She told me she liked me in highschool. The girl I couldnt even fantasize about because of how amazing she was liked me. All I had to do was ask her if she wanted to hang out. Not to go out on a date or anything. All I needed to do was hang out with her outside of school. Things would of been different. Her life would of been better and so would of mine, but that didnt happen because I was nervous. DO NOT BE SCARED TO HANG OUT WITH A GIRL YOU GET ALONG WITH!!! She probably likes you too. If she touches you, laughs with you, obviously enjoys being with you, and you like her too, you HAVE to take the chance. Good looks are NEVER everything to a good woman.
For years and years I thought women didnt like me, I thought I was undesirable and ugly. It wasnt true, and she helped me see that. She awakened me to being a man. If me and her break up every girl to come after her will be compared to her.


TL;DR MY HIGHSCHOOL GODDESS LIKED ME THE WHOLE TIME AND IT TOOK ME FOUR FUCKING YEARS TO FIND OUT
#88 - Someone please show me something to make me believe the tiny A…  [+] (1 new reply) 06/21/2015 on /K/omp #7 +1
#138 - anon (06/21/2015) [-]
guns guns guns
#145 - Sorry, I had my unit of measurement off, its 40 tons or 80,000…  [+] (1 new reply) 05/31/2015 on Close Call 0
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#146 - wallbuilder (05/31/2015) [-]
Not even close to that long from my experience. But then, I've never seen a truck on ice, I guess.