Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu

I Am Monkey    

Rank #7 on Comments
I Am Monkey Avatar Level 400 Comments: God
Offline
Send mail to I Am Monkey Block I Am Monkey Invite I Am Monkey to be your friend flag avatar
Last status update:
-
Personal Info
Consoles Owned: Walkman
Video Games Played: Battletoads 3D, Mike Tyson's Punch-Out
Date Signed Up:11/11/2008
Last Login:9/16/2014
Location:Jew York
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#2513
Comment Ranking:#7
Highest Content Rank:#164
Highest Comment Rank:#2
Content Thumbs: 69660 total,  78166 ,  8506
Comment Thumbs: 247624 total,  262469 ,  14845
Content Level Progress: 86.8% (868/1000)
Level 268 Content: Pure Win → Level 269 Content: Pure Win
Comment Level Progress: Level Maxed!
Subscribers:93
Content Views:1886822
Times Content Favorited:4983 times
Total Comments Made:12630
FJ Points:125274
Favorite Tags: the (3) | Draco Malfoy (2) | oil spill (2) | tags (2)
This is your social life and it's ending one mouse click at a time.

latest user's comments

#477 - Picture 08/04/2012 on EA +22
#61 - Presidential candidates trying/failing to be relate-able is an…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/04/2012 on Mitt Romney +5
User avatar #126 - starvaggi (08/04/2012) [-]
Really, the kid that grew up poor, switching homes in different areas of the country is just as out of touch as the privileged one who is worth multiple times as much as the poor one?

Obama went to Harvard for Law School because he was brilliant. He initially enrolled at Occidental, transferred to Columbia after two years (He was accepted into Columbia initially, but couldn't afford it. That sounds pretty relatable to me.) and did well. The guy is a millionaire, but that's where his snooty out of touch side ends. He grew up with one parent that couldn't take care of him, so he was sent to his grandparents. He was in an environment of blue collar work after college too, when he worked as a community organizer before becoming a career politician.

For you to suggest that they are on the same level in terms of being out of touch means that you are not looking at the whole story. Obama may be where he is now, but he came from a place worse off than most Americans came from, and he's a different person because of it.
#60 - Comment deleted 08/04/2012 on Mitt Romney 0
#53 - Reagan was instrumental in the collapse of the Soviet Union. H… 08/04/2012 on Mitt Romney +2
#47 - Reagan used that money to defeat the Soviet Union, when the Co…  [+] (3 new replies) 08/04/2012 on Mitt Romney -1
User avatar #64 - jscrunchies (08/04/2012) [-]
Implying we "defeated" the Soviet Union. It destroyed itself.
User avatar #48 - danielph (08/04/2012) [-]
no the cold war was won because the U.S.S.R.s economy couldn't support itself. and it didn't fix its self Clinton fixed it... and then Bush came into office *shivers*
User avatar #53 - I Am Monkey (08/04/2012) [-]
Reagan was instrumental in the collapse of the Soviet Union. He essentially spent them under the table by escalating the arms race to a point that they could no longer afford. A lot of their power came from prestige so being surpassed in space/military/ect had a huge psychological effect as well as economic impact.

When the Soviet Union collapsed (due in large part to Reagan) Clinton cut tons of money from the programs that we no longer needed to compete with the Russians. He made massive defense cuts since there was no longer the threat of war.
#23 - Picture 08/04/2012 on oh bill! 0
#187 - Yet again, boycotting a company so you don't give them busines… 08/04/2012 on To everyone attacking Chick... 0
#30 - 90's Barbie was also unrealistically skinny. They just made th… 08/04/2012 on barbie +14
#178 - You don't seem to understand how democracy or capitalism works…  [+] (3 new replies) 08/04/2012 on To everyone attacking Chick... +1
User avatar #184 - jcmonster (08/04/2012) [-]
I never tried to censor him... the ONLY thing I've done is resolve to not eat at the damn restaurant. And suddenly not wanting to fund Cathy's anti-gay efforts is a crime? Dan Cathy can say whatever the fuck he wants, but the part you seem to be missing about free speech is..
well, I ALSO have the right to say whatever the fuck I want. Fuckin' hypocrites.
"You're taking away his free speech! Don't you DARE speak badly about Dan Cathy, that's offensive!"
User avatar #189 - hybredmoon (08/04/2012) [-]
If you dont want to give him your money because of what he thinks then that is your right and I support that. But if you want to stand in a picket line outside his place of business and make anyone who comes there to eat feel like the scum of the earth then no, I dont support that. You gathered information and made your choice, fine. That dosent give you the right to use peer pressure to force others to support your choice.
User avatar #187 - I Am Monkey (08/04/2012) [-]
Yet again, boycotting a company so you don't give them business is different from throwing a media hissy fit and doing the journalistic equivalent of painting a hitter mustache on the guy.
#142 - Since when is someone not entitled to their own opinion? The o…  [+] (8 new replies) 08/04/2012 on To everyone attacking Chick... +14
User avatar #170 - jcmonster (08/04/2012) [-]
I know right, who gives a fuck?
People got all up in my face when I announced my tailor shop funds efforts to send all black people back to Africa.
I mean if I want to send niggers out of my America, who the fuck is anyone else to call me racist? It's my damn opinion, and anyone who DARES to call me racist is just a stupid liberal nigger-loving FAGGOT!
I don't like equal rights when they threaten the all-white purity of my household.
User avatar #178 - I Am Monkey (08/04/2012) [-]
You don't seem to understand how democracy or capitalism works. In a democracy we protect free speech, even if it's offensive. In a Capitalist economy you can also say or do whatever you want. (so long as it's legal) If you do something unpopular you will be punished by the consumer base when they stop going to your business. This is why companies don't do what you've suggested. (You ever seen a successful Neo-Nazi company?)

Now if you want to boycott Chick-Fil-A because of their owner's opinion that's your right, but don't try to censor him and manufacture an outrage. Obviously what he said wasn't as unpopular as the mainstream media has portrayed it, because they're business has been up in response to attempts to censor them.
User avatar #184 - jcmonster (08/04/2012) [-]
I never tried to censor him... the ONLY thing I've done is resolve to not eat at the damn restaurant. And suddenly not wanting to fund Cathy's anti-gay efforts is a crime? Dan Cathy can say whatever the fuck he wants, but the part you seem to be missing about free speech is..
well, I ALSO have the right to say whatever the fuck I want. Fuckin' hypocrites.
"You're taking away his free speech! Don't you DARE speak badly about Dan Cathy, that's offensive!"
User avatar #189 - hybredmoon (08/04/2012) [-]
If you dont want to give him your money because of what he thinks then that is your right and I support that. But if you want to stand in a picket line outside his place of business and make anyone who comes there to eat feel like the scum of the earth then no, I dont support that. You gathered information and made your choice, fine. That dosent give you the right to use peer pressure to force others to support your choice.
User avatar #187 - I Am Monkey (08/04/2012) [-]
Yet again, boycotting a company so you don't give them business is different from throwing a media hissy fit and doing the journalistic equivalent of painting a hitter mustache on the guy.
User avatar #176 - hybredmoon (08/04/2012) [-]
People seem to forget you can support a concept with out actually sharing the opinion. So, if you wanted to be an ignorant, racist, hate mongering fucktard as long as you stayed within the bounds of the law, I would not share your opinion, I wouldn't like you, BUT I would support your RIGHT to be an ignorant, racist, hate mongering fucktard if you so choose.
User avatar #180 - jcmonster (08/04/2012) [-]
but would you go to my shop, is the question.
User avatar #188 - hybredmoon (08/04/2012) [-]
Depends on a few factors. Mostly the quality of your service, and how you go about supporting your ideals. If you take the money you earn from your shop to support your racism in your own private life, then yes, I will go to your shop. If you use your business as a way to advertise and spread your racism, say you put a big 'I HATE NIGGERS' sign in your shops window, then no I wont go, cause now that is affecting me.
#140 - Picture 08/04/2012 on White people 0
#45 - Christianity opposes gay marriage, but they're nowhere near as…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/03/2012 on Dat hypocrisy 0
User avatar #63 - natmanhaddock (08/03/2012) [-]
That's not my argument, its just an example, my argument is that you cannot criticise a people of a faith because of the actions of fanatics, or one branch of that faith, Muslim's all have differing interpretations of the Qua ran, just as any other religion does.
#40 - I find it even more ironic that the New York government is try…  [+] (3 new replies) 08/03/2012 on Dat hypocrisy +3
User avatar #43 - natmanhaddock (08/03/2012) [-]
So is Christianity and Judaism, people interpret their faith in different ways, not all Christians are homophobes, neither are all people of Islam
User avatar #45 - I Am Monkey (08/03/2012) [-]
Christianity opposes gay marriage, but they're nowhere near as bad as Islam. Christianity has one Bible verse that idiots use an an excuse to be homophobes, the Quaran has multiple verses detailing why homosexuality is evil and how they should be punished. There are entire countries that follow those laws to the tee and actively persecute gays. All Christianity does is not recognize their marriages.

The "Christians are no better" argument is the default knee jerk defence when Islam is called into question, but it really doesn't work in this case.
User avatar #63 - natmanhaddock (08/03/2012) [-]
That's not my argument, its just an example, my argument is that you cannot criticise a people of a faith because of the actions of fanatics, or one branch of that faith, Muslim's all have differing interpretations of the Qua ran, just as any other religion does.
#62 - You don't normally see fat people in New York. You have to wal… 08/03/2012 on wrath of a fatty +6
#67 - They could only get away with this in New York because guns ar… 08/03/2012 on NY zombies +4
#254 - <-- When middle schoolers get on xbox 08/03/2012 on Annoying Middle Schooler +4
#28 - As an American I have to ask the rest of the world, is there a…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/03/2012 on oh british. +6
User avatar #30 - bajowski (08/03/2012) [-]
Yes, It is called "general american" and its is what most Hollywood actors talk like.
#34 - Picture 08/03/2012 on Your Jimmies will be... +2
#11 - Desmond has all the character development of a ham sandwich. T…  [+] (4 new replies) 08/03/2012 on Tags are racist +2
User avatar #17 - theexo (08/03/2012) [-]
i don't think there will be a assasins creed 4. this story is supposed to wrap up desmonds story but of course Ubisoft can be a tiny bit of a whore
User avatar #14 - lolollo (08/03/2012) [-]
AC4: Faff and the world faffs with you.
#25 - faff (08/06/2012) [-]
yes. yes i do.
User avatar #12 - Crusader (08/03/2012) [-]
Except that is the entire point of the AC games, they were never truly about Desmond, they were always about his ancestors. It's nice that they are giving him depth, but they did it all too quick.

A big question that has been bothering me.
Why didn't they just stick Bill in the Animus 2.0?
#16 - >Have 3 best friends entire life >One gets girlfrien…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/03/2012 on RIP Bestfriend +39
User avatar #20 - genetticrat (08/03/2012) [-]
I have 3 best friends, I've been drifting with them since they started dating girls, the one that isn't dating doesn't talk to me much. I'm going to do all I can to prevent this happening to me.
#965 - The Halo community has a really good policy when it comes to s… 08/03/2012 on Morbid For Xbox Users +6
#223 - Gun control will only keep guns out of the hands of law abidin…  [+] (6 new replies) 08/03/2012 on pro-tip they added blacks +30
User avatar #241 - techketzer (08/03/2012) [-]
Love that pic.
User avatar #236 - Coolinbny (08/03/2012) [-]
95% of the time, cops arrive too late to stop a crime or arrest a suspect during a 911 emergency. It just so happens that a lot of places with such high crime rates tend to be the ones that won't allow you to be on equal terms with criminals.
User avatar #233 - dtox (08/03/2012) [-]
I lived in arizona, and have recently moved to texas.

Friends/pedestrians in both states (not most, but enough) walk around with holstered weapons, and my family keeps a shotgun in our car as we travel.

never felt safer, you have to be insane to draw a weapon in the middle of armed citizens.
#255 - anonymous (08/03/2012) [-]
Yet places where guns are easily accessible have so many more gun related deaths per capita it is ridiculous.

Places like america have 5 or 6 murders using guns per 100,00 people a year.
Places like Japan where guns are illegal have 0.02 gun murders per 100,000.

Its stupid logic which is shown to not work.
User avatar #770 - mrbuu (08/03/2012) [-]
you mean where there is alot more people. the odds are there are alot more criminals. damn anon you a smart motherfucker.
User avatar #268 - dtox (08/03/2012) [-]
except, anon, you're forgetting the fact that, although the increase in causation of death is apparent, there is the literal increase vs decrease of actual crime being committed.

Ever since the UK enforced stricter gun control laws in the 1990s, their rate of crime has increased (I'm going to repeat myself again, you're more likely to get STABBED in the UK than you are to get shot in the US), where as the rate of crime in the united states has decreased since the 90s.

of course, this is but a correlation, which does not equate to causation, but it does suggest a relation.

As well, crime has increased for japan in the past decade.
#519 - Remember when little kids used to actually play little kid gam…  [+] (6 new replies) 08/03/2012 on Morbid For Xbox Users +54
User avatar #699 - ishouldplayzelda (08/03/2012) [-]
I played spyro and crash bandicoot as well as dkc 2 a lot but i also played lots of M games like the MGS series and resident evil. I never played anything online though except for starcraft and diablo. I agree this generation is annoying as fuck. They should stick to sidngle player games like i did
User avatar #710 - ishouldplayzelda (08/03/2012) [-]
Forgot to mention im 18 and for most of my childhood, the only console i had was a SNES. I still have it in my room collecting dust
User avatar #656 - hangingtree (08/03/2012) [-]
I am part of this generation, and I am not proud of it. Whenever I wanted something I had to work for it (Mow the lawn, search the house for trash ect) but I also had a huge list of chores that I had to do and wouldn't get payed for (making my bed, walking the dog, doing th dishes ect) Kids now just scream in the store and their parents will get it for them. About a year ago I started playing online and was kinda shocked at how many curse woulds we being thrown around by prepubescent ten year olds. Everytime I see something like this (A ten year old playing a M game like CoD or GoW) My hope for humanity dies a little inside.
#594 - anonymous (08/03/2012) [-]
Well said. I myself am 15. I often don't use a mic because I don't want to offend anyone and that way I'm not tempted to swear at others. I hate people who get everything from their parents. I begged my parents for years to allow me to get a PS2. Pay attention to the fact when I said "allow". When my mother said I was allowed to I saved up the money all by myself. Took me a year at the time but I finally dd it.

When I finished I felt so accomplished. Today I am a sophomore in high-school. I am in honor level classes and have a scholarship. I continue to purchase y own games. When I wihs to purchase a Mature rated game I save up the money myself and then my mother accompanies me to purchase it. I never take any money from her, I earn every cent from my merager job at the local country club serving food.

The fact that children younger than me are playing mature rated games at the age of eight outrages me. As many other have stated, at that age I was playing pokemon and yugioh games. I wasn't chainsawing people in half or calling others fags. Even when I bought my xbox five years ago I didn't feel the need to insult others. I'm just disappointed that the children of my generation and those younger than ourselves are so stupid and have parents without spines.
User avatar #625 - wolfmango (08/03/2012) [-]
agreed i myself is also 15 and i have a brother the age of 17 and yet the only M rated game i at the moment currently own is reach and i am perfectly content with playing the games that are supposed to be for me basically ive played only three games recently batman minecraft and burnout paradise. I am just fine with those games. Of course i would like some other games for instance assassins creed 3 but i dont whine like a bitch if i dont get it. I payed for everything i bought including live without anything besides the money i earned i have NEVER taken from my parents. I am expected to get at least a 3.5 gpa and strongly encouraged to get all As. When we bought halo reach both my brother and i had to get on honor roll and pay for it. And then i get online to enjoy the game we deserve and i hear these little shits who are braindead overprivilleged whinny ten year olds who would be swearing like sailors if they knew any words besides faggot and gay and it pains me to realize that there is nothing i can do about these little pricks
#541 - anonymous (08/03/2012) [-]
Thanks for eloquently saying what I can't say in English.
#264 - Police in America really do drive Chargers and Mustangs, but a…  [+] (1 new reply) 08/02/2012 on I'm so proud... +1
User avatar #294 - Wartottle (08/02/2012) [-]
my hometown (Hamilton, Ontario) Drive blacked out chargers, they're badass
#22 - Before the finale I thought he was going to have some sort of …  [+] (1 new reply) 08/02/2012 on Oh my god Tahno, +3
User avatar #43 - chosenonex (08/03/2012) [-]
I want to see more tahno... He better be in book 2.
Show:
Sort by:
Order:

items

Total unique items point value: 300010 / Total items point value: 900010

Comments(131):

[ 131 comments ]

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Per page:
Order:
Latest users (1): I Am Monkey, anonymous(1).
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#80 - anonymous (08/29/2013) [+] (1 reply)
stickied
You are a worthless piece of ****
#184 - itsthetie (09/15/2014) [-]
Dude, you always leave the best comments, luv ya
Dude, you always leave the best comments, luv ya
User avatar #185 to #184 - I Am Monkey (22 hours ago) [-]
Thank
#181 - icrapgoldndiamonds (08/15/2014) [-]
i subbed coz you post funny **** .....i like funny **** , have a good day dude
User avatar #179 - plumpbooty (08/13/2014) [-]
you want to actually succed in life?

dont listen to ducks reposted from 9gag


pls don't ban
#177 - include (08/13/2014) [-]
Do you ever respond back to your profile comments?
User avatar #178 to #177 - I Am Monkey (08/13/2014) [-]
Rarely
User avatar #180 to #178 - include (08/13/2014) [-]
I figured
#176 - anonymous (08/05/2014) [-]
Just wanted you to know, you're my favorite person on Funnyjunk. I love reading your comments, they always manage to make my day ; u ; Thank you for that.
Pls keep being amazing.
#175 - include (08/02/2014) [-]
Hello Monkey.
User avatar #172 - studbeefpile (08/01/2014) [-]
Hey man, I know ********** is a ****** , but he ain't mean no harm. He is jus a boi tryin to find his whey in the worl. 2048 hours is an awful lot, don't you think?
User avatar #173 to #172 - I Am Monkey (08/01/2014) [-]
I only flagged him once for gore. I don't know why the ban is that long unless this is like his thousandth offence.
User avatar #174 to #173 - studbeefpile (08/02/2014) [-]
Oh, I see. I will miss him a bunch.

If only there was some way to reduce the ban time....
#170 - EdwardNigma ONLINE (07/27/2014) [-]
You banned ********** again.
I like the cut of your jib.
User avatar #170 - ffffyou (04/10/2014) [-]
oh wow...finally accepted
User avatar #168 - roflstorm (04/09/2014) [-]
Good god how long ago did i send that request?
User avatar #169 to #168 - I Am Monkey (04/10/2014) [-]
Idk I just accepted like 120 of them. Honestly, I forgot that friend requests existed for a while.
User avatar #165 - revengeforfreeze (04/05/2014) [-]
plez halp
User avatar #166 to #165 - I Am Monkey (04/07/2014) [-]
Both of them in late 2012
#163 - anonymous (03/13/2014) [-]
You are a valuable human being
#151 - posttwo (02/12/2014) [-]
Hi dad.
User avatar #152 to #151 - I Am Monkey (02/12/2014) [-]
Dammit, she said she had an abortion.
#150 - Marker (02/08/2014) [-]
New bestseller on FJ
User avatar #149 - ied (01/22/2014) [-]
Selling points?
User avatar #160 to #149 - I Am Monkey (02/20/2014) [-]
If by "points", you mean crystal meth.
User avatar #145 - grandtheftkoala **User deleted account** (01/11/2014) [-]
bai
User avatar #142 - clappedcrack (01/09/2014) [-]
do you just use the same 3 pictures in every comment?
User avatar #143 to #142 - I Am Monkey (01/10/2014) [-]
Yep; The baby face, the gif of the guy shrugging from the Misfits and Walter White with animated wrinkles.
User avatar #144 to #143 - clappedcrack (01/10/2014) [-]
I knew it
User avatar #133 - shitdickinator (12/01/2013) [-]
what's the show your profile pic is from?
User avatar #138 to #133 - miscarriage ONLINE (12/18/2013) [-]
The Iron Giant
User avatar #139 to #138 - shitdickinator (12/18/2013) [-]
thank you!
[ 131 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)