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HolyArachnid  

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Gender: male
Age: 27
Date Signed Up:4/11/2010
Last Login:5/28/2012
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#24730
Comment Ranking:#2195
Highest Content Rank:#3820
Highest Comment Rank:#170
Content Thumbs: 2323 total,  2776 ,  453
Comment Thumbs: 23519 total,  25695 ,  2176
Content Level Progress: 23% (23/100)
Level 123 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry → Level 124 Content: Respected Member Of Famiry
Comment Level Progress: 51.9% (519/1000)
Level 323 Comments: Covered In Thumbs → Level 324 Comments: Covered In Thumbs
Subscribers:20
Content Views:7392
Times Content Favorited:151 times
Total Comments Made:4155
FJ Points:23059
Favorite Tags: funny (47) | epic (9) | the (9) | Awesome (8) | fuck (8) | meme (8) | You (8) | black (7) | Movie (7) | autocorrect (6) | Damn (6) | Badass (5) | badasses (5) | Dick (5) | holyarachnid (5) | win (5) | Bieber (4) | Britney (4) | comic (4) | cool (4)
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  • Views: 1663
    Thumbs Up 5 Thumbs Down 2 Total: +3
    Comments: 4
    Favorites: 1
    Uploaded: 05/08/10
    title Caramel Giraffes
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#13 - Reminded me of this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNvk9OEmyZ8 6 minutes ago on Bi 0
#98 - .......I read the title to the tune of Journey's "Don't S… 11 minutes ago on Just a white blood cell... +3
#43 - There's a pretty distinct line of evolution at work here: ever… 33 minutes ago on Gay Bieber Boy Swagga On A... +3
#23 - It's funny to think that after so many years of being inundate… 1 hour ago on demotivational posters +1
#45 - What a coincidence! I've got a Thor Throat! ( Please…  [+] (5 new replies) 10 hours ago on Tyson Hammer +15
#80 - ahj (8 hours ago) [-]
That show was the shit, dude
#78 - narlydude (9 hours ago) [-]
From a real rune found in Sweden.

Notice how he doesn't hold the hammer far up the shaft like a faggot, such as in the Thor movie
#94 - schneidend (7 hours ago) [-]
He holds it further down the haft when he's going for a big swing, like when he uppercuts Hulk. He chokes up when just carrying it around or using magic, probably because its an oversized hammer and thus heavy as hell.

Also, a hammer made for combat wouldn't have such a sledgehammer-like head in the first place. Warhammers looked more like crowbars that something you'd pound in railroad spikes with.
#95 - schneidend (7 hours ago) [-]
*than
#46 - mouzikalskeytar (10 hours ago) [-]
**mouzikalskeytar rolled a random image posted in comment #412 at lol ** CHALKZONE! I MISS THAT SHOW :(
#23 - Oh, I will be getting a ton of mileage out of this sucker ;)… 05/21/2012 on Oh Jigsaw +2
#56 - Picture 05/19/2012 on Niggers at McDonalds +10
#322 - Couldn't have asked for a better place to use this ;)  [+] (3 new replies) 05/12/2012 on Funnyjunk Movie Trailer +7
User avatar #331 - corkscrew (05/12/2012) [-]
thresh?
#332 - decaman (05/12/2012) [-]
his name is thresh, its mentioned in the books.
User avatar #333 - corkscrew (05/12/2012) [-]
what books?
#723 - "Dude.....dude! Did you see that little elf guy's face wh… 05/11/2012 on types of humour 0
#377 - Are you sayin' I would cut off a chicken's head.......put my d… 05/09/2012 on Chicken fucking video +2
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 60 80 120 > >> [ 4117 Total ]

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comments(85)

 
#99 - delrio (04/12/2012) [-]
Hey, everyone, This is the profile of a real cool guy,

Just wanted to let you know.
User avatar #100 to #99 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (04/12/2012) [-]
Why thank you, good sir. Just to let everyone know, you can reach the profile of another really cool guy by clicking the link in the above comment :D

(Just out of curiosity, what brought that on? The cynical, self-deprecating li'l devil in me suspects someone rolled my username..... ;P)
User avatar #101 to #100 - delrio (04/13/2012) [-]
You made my day a while back, just wanted to return the favor.
User avatar #102 to #101 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (04/14/2012) [-]
Well, you've succeeded :D Thanks again.
#103 to #102 - delrio (04/14/2012) [-]
It was my pleasure :3
#95 - plataeiou ONLINE (03/11/2012) [-]
Hello there, fine gentleman!
#96 to #95 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (03/11/2012) [-]
Pleased to make your acquaintance!

While you're on here, if you're interested in a little more reading, you might want to check out my "Worth the Read" and "Double Shot of Truth" articles. (Shameless plug, I know, but I always enjoy reading people's reactions to them.)
User avatar #97 to #96 - plataeiou ONLINE (03/11/2012) [-]
Are they political analyses?
User avatar #98 to #97 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (03/11/2012) [-]
Not exactly; they're more reflections on modern culture and a lot of the bashing crap that gets thrown around on here, but I'll go off on a few tangents as to where our society has gone wrong. They are incredibly long, though; I'll warn you of that up front.
User avatar #91 - atrocitustheking (12/17/2011) [-]
I return at long last and see you have posted two new "shots o' truth", and so I raise up my glass to an FJer with class. ^_^
User avatar #92 to #91 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (12/17/2011) [-]
Hey there stranger :D Great to see you again, and look forward to reading your thoughts on them.
User avatar #93 to #92 - atrocitustheking (12/17/2011) [-]
Will do. Let you know when I'm done.
#88 - Sunset ONLINE (11/15/2011) [-]
I have no idea why he blocked me, honestly.

< What I posted, since you're wondering.
User avatar #89 to #88 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (11/16/2011) [-]
Thanks :D

I don't really get why he erased it either - I thought it was pretty funny and clever. It wasn't like you called him a fucking reposting f@ggot or anything like that.
User avatar #90 to #89 - Sunset ONLINE (11/16/2011) [-]
Yeah, I don't understand it either. I'm trying to talk to him at the moment, see what the reason is.
User avatar #85 - atrocitustheking (11/12/2011) [-]
Saw someone's content called "Worth a Read" and got all excited 'cause I thought it was yours, ha ha ha.

Any idea when we'll be seeing that? No rush of course, I know full well that real life comes first.
User avatar #86 to #85 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (11/13/2011) [-]
Pretty soon, my friend, pretty soon.....what ends up happening is, I'm either too tired to think about the stuff at all, or I'll end up thinking of so much to say that I'll have to spend ages paring it down. It took me almost three months longer than I planned to get the second one out; I've vowed to keep this third one more simple and elegant, but I've still got a lot to say with it (there's gonna be a section on religion, which should tell you a little something).
User avatar #87 to #86 - atrocitustheking (11/13/2011) [-]
Oh, I know that feel. Usually, unless it's just "something cool I thought was worth sharing" anything I make will take quite a while too.

Even then, it usually just comes to me in an unbidden flash of inspiration. Even fewer of those are in the category of "I found it funny, AND I bet others will too" (that second one's the kicker, I'm pretty easily amused).
User avatar #67 - shime (09/19/2011) [-]
How did you get green text~? I mean as in: What did Carlton Banks make you do? :3 Knowing him it was probably something ridiculous~
#68 to #67 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (09/19/2011) [-]
This will tell all:

Carlton Banks+Compilation/">http://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/2432896/Carlton Banks+Compilation/

And, not to go off on you or anything, but I'm about ready to take a fucking *CHAINSAW* to people who ask me this. No matter what I type anywhere it's "LOLOLOMFGBBQ GREEN TXT!!!!11111", and it's been fucking old for a good solid month now.
#69 to #68 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (09/19/2011) [-]
Whoa! How did I get half-and-half there?!
#70 to #69 - shime (09/19/2011) [-]
I didn't mean to sound obnoxious like that! I was genuinely curious as to what Carlton Banks had you do or what you did for him.   
I apologize if I annoyed you for saying that.
I didn't mean to sound obnoxious like that! I was genuinely curious as to what Carlton Banks had you do or what you did for him.
I apologize if I annoyed you for saying that.
#71 to #70 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (09/19/2011) [-]
Don't sweat it. It just gets tiresome when I'm trying to make a point and some asshole's got to be "ironic" and point out my text. I'm happy to help out someone who's genuinely curious.
#58 - anonymous (09/02/2011) [-]
My friend i require your assistance. This whole returning to reality and being in college isn't working out for me. Do you know of any other good sites i could live on? I can't return to here because there are too many issues. If you could help that would be great.

-alazandar (and all the other usernames i used)
User avatar #59 to #58 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (09/02/2011) [-]
Try this: www.kingdomofloathing.com

It's a kind of tongue-in-cheek RPG-type game, but it gives you worlds of opportunities for trading, battling and socializing with people. Best of all, you don't have to give any personal information to join. My username is "MisterHollywood", if you want to add me to your contacts list; I can send you a stimulus package of Meat and items to get you started.
#61 to #59 - anonymous (09/02/2011) [-]
IDK how to add you... I'm Alazandar.

It's my name for essentially every thing. It's my LoL name, my AC2 name, my Bioshock 2 name lol... So if you see an Alazandar, it's probably me
#60 to #59 - anonymous (09/02/2011) [-]
Thanks bro :D

I'll give it a try.
#56 - amusedrhino (08/29/2011) [-]
Who knew Justin Beiber lovers would make us FJ friends?
Who knew Justin Beiber lovers would make us FJ friends?
#57 to #56 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (08/29/2011) [-]
LMFAO.....I've made FJ friends over some of the craziest shite you could imagine. It's just the way things work around here ;)
LMFAO.....I've made FJ friends over some of the craziest shite you could imagine. It's just the way things work around here ;)
User avatar #53 - jingleforth (08/27/2011) [-]
**jingleforth rolls 110,941,476**
User avatar #54 to #53 - jingleforth (08/27/2011) [-]
BOOM! Dubs!
User avatar #50 - bubblerider (08/11/2011) [-]
Thanks for the add. Also, (No offense) but I fucking hate your profile gif! xD
User avatar #47 - alazandar **User deleted account** (07/25/2011) [-]
Adios Bro!

Good luck with everything.
User avatar #48 to #47 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (07/25/2011) [-]
Thanks, you too :)

I'm a little confused though.....I thought you already turned this profile over to Catshumpcats?
User avatar #49 to #48 - alazandar **User deleted account** (07/25/2011) [-]
Yeah, but i bitched it back, back when i was "theinterwebz"

Now i'm deleting it.
#46 - anonymous (07/06/2011) [-]
Bro I can't take this site....

I guess i'll have to lurk to see you're DSOT
User avatar #37 - theinterwebz **User deleted account** (07/03/2011) [-]
Bro, when is the double shot coming out?!?!?!

I need to know when to call Dell and have them fix my laptop.
User avatar #38 to #37 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (07/03/2011) [-]
It's coming, man, it's coming :S

I've been really swamped with work this week, haven't had much will to write. I'll *try* to have it up by Monday or Tuesday.
User avatar #39 to #38 - theinterwebz **User deleted account** (07/03/2011) [-]
Ah shit bro, i'm sorry.....

God, i keep trying to rush you and yet your life is so busy i feel bad. hahahahaha. Dude, RL is more important than FJ. I'll give you 2 weeks and then my laptop is gone, but then again, i can just look back on your page, or Lurk on FJ when everyone is asleep.
#40 to #39 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (07/03/2011) [-]
You don't need to feel bad, dude, it's cool :)

I've just been really out of it lately. Apart from how crazy my life is right now - I've been researching the hipster movement for this thing, trying to gain more insight into how these sad little people think, and it's seriously getting me depressed. They're fucking ruining the whole urban-art scene.
User avatar #41 to #40 - theinterwebz **User deleted account** (07/03/2011) [-]
Thanks bro :D,

Hmmmmm... the hipster movement.. I've never looked into it. I've gotta say i don't have much faith in mankind as is.

We will always have banksy
User avatar #42 to #41 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (07/03/2011) [-]
It's just........gaaaahhh. They say one thing and do another, in just about every aspect of their culture, to the point where it's sickening. And you can't speak out against it without getting accused of being one, because supposedly they all loathe one another. It's no wonder people are ashamed to like anything they touch.

Anyway....I probably ought to get to bed. I'll try to be on for a good chunk of tomorrow night, if you want to try the IM again.
User avatar #43 to #42 - theinterwebz **User deleted account** (07/03/2011) [-]
Sounds like christians..............(possibly touchy subject)

Shoot bro, no i don't think i can go on tomorrow :S. It's my sisters birthday and my bro is coming over with his wife, and his wife's bro. So i doubt i'll be able to be on.

Either way, sleep well.
User avatar #44 to #43 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (07/03/2011) [-]
Ah! Wish her a Happy Birthday from me :D

And don't worry about offending me with religious matters. I'm debating whether to include a section on religion in the new DSOT; but it's going to be huge enough as it is, between my Harper Valley PTA on the hipsters and all the pop culture I want to cover.

Personally, I do believe in God but I'm not devoutly religious; I've always believed every person relates to God (or however they choose to think of it) in a different way, and nobody's vision is inherently superior or inferior to anyone else's. Organized religion can be a force for tremendous good - bringing people together to guide one another spiritually - but it can also be a scourge when arrogant, greedy assholes get control of it.

.....and again, I write too fucking much ;)
User avatar #45 to #44 - theinterwebz **User deleted account** (07/03/2011) [-]
Hahahaha i shall.

It's you're DSOT... you could always do another one.

Well i've gotta say i'm on the agnostic side. Evolution doesn't make enough sense to work. I mean with discoveries such as the........ Shit..... "the mouse trap example where it doesn't work unless all the pieces are there" Irreducible complexity! That's what it was. But i believe the Bible is flawed. I mean the two parts don't correlate well at all. The old Testament was all about massacreing other people and a jealous god who was to be feared because he would kill you if you slipped up. Examples: Onin, (the dude who touched the ark), etc. And then the New Testament comes in randomly and starts preaching love and forgiveness. It's almost as if god (if the two match up) gave up on conquering with the Isrealites and decided that we should all suddenly love each other. And another thing that makes no sense is Paul. He wrote 90% of the New Testament, but he wasn't one of the disciples. All he had was a "miraculous" vision with god, and WHAM he's suddenly the most influential person. I mean come on... Didn't he have the vision about, the animals? He seems to create his own rules and force them upon the church. I go to a christian school and this year in bible class, it was all about religions. Well the end of it was about cults. And the teacher (who though i disagreed with, WAS AMAZING) said that a major pointer to cults was the fact that the "inspired writings or knowledge" was "divine" and didn't follow the rest of the Bible. WHAM POW!!! Paul. (i think i'm completely lost, and this all doesn't flow well at all.. sorry)

Ah, don't worry about it. If i get going i write a ton.
User avatar #18 - theinterwebz **User deleted account** (06/25/2011) [-]
Hey bro my IM disappeared so..... can't really use it to ask you this, but did you ever listen to Neaera?
User avatar #19 to #18 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (06/25/2011) [-]
Shit, I forgot to mention it.....as a matter of fact, I did! Their stuff is REALLY sweet. Great melodic sound, great lyrics.
User avatar #21 to #19 - theinterwebz **User deleted account** (06/25/2011) [-]
Hmmm....... lol i don't know if you care, but

other bands i'd recommend.....................
do you only prefer metal?
User avatar #22 to #21 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (06/25/2011) [-]
I like just about everything, to be honest, but I've been on a huge classic-rock and metal kick lately. So, yeah, go ahead and throw some at me :)
User avatar #23 to #22 - theinterwebz **User deleted account** (06/25/2011) [-]
Umm..

Folk Rock-
Mumford and Sons (you probably have heard of them, but I just needed to throw that out there)

Metal-
Children of Bodom (i used to love them, Melodic Death Metal)
Heaven shall burn (found neaera on their pandora channel)
Caliban (haven't heard much, but most of what i've heard i really liked)
User avatar #24 to #23 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (06/25/2011) [-]
Yeah, M&S and CoB are pretty good stuff. I'm liking what I'm hearing from Heaven Shall Burn and Caliban, too.

I can see why metalcore and deathcore get such a bad rap - you come across a lot of scene kids who think listening to it makes them "edgy" - but there are plenty of worthwhile bands in those genres, too (and you've introduced me to a good few of them). It never pays to dismiss a whole genre out of hand because of a few annoying fans.
User avatar #25 to #24 - theinterwebz **User deleted account** (06/25/2011) [-]
Yeah, the fans can easily ruin a band and even a genre for others.

I have??? i didn't know that.
User avatar #26 to #25 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (06/25/2011) [-]
Yeah.....now that I think of it, BDM and Neaera (being melodic death) don't really count - but I've liked what I've heard from Whitechapel, HSB, and Caliban, all by your recommendations.

On that note, if you want to hear another really good band, look up Sikth. I don't know what the hell they're classified as - I've heard everything thrown around from prog-metal to mathcore to avant-garde metal - but I *love* their stuff. "Such the Fool" and "Scent of the Obscene" are good places to start.
User avatar #27 to #26 - theinterwebz **User deleted account** (06/25/2011) [-]
Yeah i think the only metalcore band i ever talked about was BMTH. hahhahahah

I was just listening to some Caliban via youtube, and i realized that i don't really like their videos they did. I just don't like the songs.

I shall look up sikth.

Hey have you heard of Folk metal??
eluveitie
User avatar #28 to #27 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (06/25/2011) [-]
I've never really listened to any folk metal, but I love folk music and I love metal, so I'd imagine I'd like it a lot.

As for BMTH........I'm not too crazy about them myself, but I don't dislike them to the point where I'd knock a friend for liking them. Frankly, it bothers me to see people dogging on bands, period - a lot of people don't realize how much hard work and skill it takes to play in one, and come out with anything close to a consistent style.
User avatar #30 to #28 - theinterwebz **User deleted account** (06/25/2011) [-]
Imma be honest. Low rank is fucking pissing me off.

I can't post images, I have to wait to post, I can't post Urls.

FUNNY SONG
----------------
Peaches
by
Presidents of the United States.
User avatar #31 to #30 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (06/25/2011) [-]
Listening to it right now, it's awesome :D

I looked up one old song and one new from Arsonists and they were both good, but I've gotta say, they attract a lot of hipsters in the comments sections. "Fuck their new stuff, it's so mainstream!" ...who gives a shit?! Good music is good music.....bughhhhh. Expect me to *unload* on the hipster movement in my new DSOT.
User avatar #32 to #31 - theinterwebz **User deleted account** (06/25/2011) [-]
LOL i started listening to more of their stuff... I actually like it hahaha

Yeah, well they completely changed their sound. I mean, i don't know about "mainstream", but they most definitely changed their sound.

God i hate the term "good music". (i must now expand on that reasoning as not to offend you)

In my opinion, there is no such thing as "good music". All music is based upon tastes. One person may love a certain band, say AGATG (i'll just use me as an example) and i think it's "good music". One of my friends listen to the music and all they can think of is: it is more "screamo shit." They listen to a rap song and think: this is "good music". I, being not a huge fan of rap, think to myself: this is "okay music."

Soooo.... what i'm trying to say. Is what i said in my second sentence, "All music preferences are based upon musical tastes." there is no good music, and there is no bad music. There is only music and peoples tastes in music.
User avatar #33 to #32 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (06/25/2011) [-]
All I really meant by "good music is good music" was, enjoy the music for its own sake. Not because it's "mainstream" or "underground" or whatever stupid-ass meaningless thing someone uses to measure the "coolness" of it.

It probably helps in my case that I like and appreciate pretty much every genre of music to some degree - I don't know the feeling of being turned off by a genre itself. Most music is "good music" to me :)
User avatar #34 to #33 - theinterwebz **User deleted account** (06/25/2011) [-]
Hahahahahha sorry bout that explosion.

I like..... tolerate all genres. (not a huge fan of rap (though i do like eminen, B.O.B., and T.I.), as before mentioned) except 1.

I can't do opera.
User avatar #35 to #34 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (06/25/2011) [-]
Holy shit, I just realized how long we've been at it.....I really need to get to bed :S Was great talking to you, though. I hope you can get your IM working right, we can do it again sometime.

One more thing before I go.....have you looked up Sikth yet?
User avatar #36 to #35 - theinterwebz **User deleted account** (06/25/2011) [-]
Yeah it was great! I love talking to people, and (ashamedly) I never really talked to you. We gotta do this again.

Yeah i did. They were pretty good!

User avatar #29 to #28 - theinterwebz **User deleted account** (06/25/2011) [-]
I have no idea how i found them, but i really liked a couple of their songs hahahah, but their live stuff is an absolutely terribly sad joke.

Hahahha i don't know why i like them, maybe it's the lyrics. A couple of them are good. Yeah, i wish i had the talent to join a band, hell even enough talent to pick up an instrument and play.

FUNNY SONG TIME
[url deleted]

back to the subject at hand.... well the old subject. Have you heard of Arsonists get all the girls????
(if not, they 1st 2 albums had a different vocalist than their last 2)
User avatar #20 to #19 - theinterwebz **User deleted account** (06/25/2011) [-]
Yes!!!

yeah i found them via pandora lol
User avatar #16 - zomba (05/31/2011) [-]
hey my inbox is broken, what you need?
User avatar #17 to #16 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (05/31/2011) [-]
Ahhh.....just sending out notices for my new comic. (This "only one mass per day" thing friggin' sucks.....)

http://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/2177968/Memorial+Day+Mashup/
User avatar #14 to #13 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (05/11/2011) [-]
Awesome :) I don't know when for sure I'll find the time to put the list together, but hopefully I'll get to it soon.
User avatar #15 to #14 - Lijiah (05/11/2011) [-]
Take your time bro.
User avatar #9 - DrBobsPatient (02/11/2011) [-]
haha sorry. was deleting a list of friends and yours might have been in between some. sorry bout that.
User avatar #10 to #9 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (02/11/2011) [-]
'S alright, just wanted to make sure we were straight B-)

Just out of curiosity, though.....I've never understood why so many people delete their friends on here. I always thought of adding someone as more of a goodwill gesture than anything, and fewer friends means fewer people to send your stuff to :P
User avatar #11 to #10 - DrBobsPatient (02/11/2011) [-]
well me personally, i had a lot of friends on my other account, just added people who wanted to be, and then someone started trolling (thumbing down) all of my posts/comments that my rank was so screwed over i couldn't recover it, so i had to delete it and make a new one.
User avatar #12 to #11 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (02/11/2011) [-]
Ouch :S God, I hate when you run across people like that. No worries about that kind of crap coming from me, though, I've always just tried to get along with people.
User avatar #5 - AngelPwnz (11/22/2010) [-]
...
What picture did you upload on first time with a prostitute that got flagged?
User avatar #7 to #6 - AngelPwnz (11/23/2010) [-]
Very nice
Sorry for your temp ban
Very gay
User avatar #8 to #7 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (11/23/2010) [-]
Thanks :D
#3 - arranx (08/14/2010) [-]
bye bye holyarachnid im leaving this unfunny website and heading to funnier pastures see you around
User avatar #4 to #3 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (08/14/2010) [-]
Sorry to see you go, Arranx :( Hope to see you again someplace else.
User avatar #1 - Shellybean (08/10/2010) [-]
Your avatar is full of win!
User avatar #2 to #1 - HolyArachnid ONLINE (08/10/2010) [-]
Haha, thanks. I am officially a comment virgin no more... ;)
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