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HailtotheKing    

Rank #3489 on Comments
HailtotheKing Avatar Level 215 Comments: Comedic Genius
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Personal Info
Gender: male
Age: 20
Date Signed Up:3/01/2010
Last Login:7/25/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#3489
Highest Content Rank:#7390
Highest Comment Rank:#2540
Content Thumbs: 75 total,  91 ,  16
Comment Thumbs: 1993 total,  2085 ,  92
Content Level Progress: 80% (4/5)
Level 3 Content: New Here → Level 4 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 94% (94/100)
Level 215 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 216 Comments: Comedic Genius
Subscribers:11
Content Views:8783
Times Content Favorited:5 times
Total Comments Made:609
FJ Points:1809
Hail to the king, baby

latest user's comments

#1961 - It's alright. I don't think it's as wonderful as many make it … 03/13/2014 on /books/ board 0
#1960 - Well it depends on what kind of character the name is going to… 03/13/2014 on /books/ board 0
#1959 - Yes! Great! If you love writing then keep writing! Even if you…  [+] (6 new replies) 03/13/2014 on /books/ board 0
User avatar #1963 - KayRed (03/13/2014) [-]
He's bragging dude.
User avatar #1977 - HailtotheKing (03/13/2014) [-]
Even if he is I'm not going to say that he is shit or that he shouldn't write. He's doing something that he loves (if he is ACTUALLY writing, that is) and I have no problem with that.
User avatar #1986 - KayRed (03/14/2014) [-]
No qualms there. I would never try to discourage some one from writing. Like with this guy, in my previous comments, after calling him out I said he should start posting his stuff on here, since this board is a good place to get good feed back (I know I'd be willing to look over his stuff, and I have posted stuff here before).
User avatar #1987 - HailtotheKing (03/14/2014) [-]
Looking over it again it does seem like bragging. Maybe he's right, maybe he's the next amazing fiction writer that will change a generation but bragging about word count is like a chef bragging about how many cups of soup he made.
User avatar #1993 - KayRed (03/14/2014) [-]
If he were the next great fiction writer, he'd be bragging about quality, not quantity.
User avatar #1994 - KayRed (03/14/2014) [-]
Scratch that, he wouldn't be bragging at all, he'd be writing.
#37 - So the one that always comes to mind is the succubus encounter…  [+] (1 new reply) 03/12/2014 on DnD +3
#70 - Orc has deleted their comment.
#35 - Alright, D&D story time. So for the first charac…  [+] (2 new replies) 03/12/2014 on DnD +4
User avatar #37 - HailtotheKing (03/12/2014) [-]
So the one that always comes to mind is the succubus encounter.

We heard rumors of a female wizard living in the sewers below the city and slowly building an army of male zombies that she had abducted. We follow a few tips and head down into the shit filled and rat infested plumbing system of an entire town. Needless to say, we got a few bad status effects with it and the entire party, even the healer, got so violently sick that we considered just going back to the town medic. However as we approached the end of the pipeline we finally catch a glimpse of the lair of the succubus.

She was this short she-devil that sat in a giant chair composed entirely of still living male slaves to do her bidding. Once she see's us (covered in our own vomit and shit, mind you) she sends half a dozen guys to come and kill us. As the approach I stand up from my chair, slam my hands down on the table, look at my Dom and say the most important sentence of my D&D career.

"Goddess of Gambling I call on you, give me your luck to fuck the succubus!"

The table went silent for a second. They looked at me then at our DM. He pointed at my dice and let me roll. Fucking 20. He just stared at me for a second then like nothing happened at all he just went on describing the current scene.

"You leap across the room over the shambling male townsfolk and grab the succubus by her throat. Instead of snapping it you throw her to the ground and lift her hips into the air and insert your giant orcish cock into her while your other friends fight around you."

This went on for seven rounds. Each time it was my turn he made me describe in graphic detail what was happening and by the end of it I was just writing erotica for this guy.

Now once everyone was done fighting the zombies I was still giving the ol' two handed staff of pleasure to the demon bitch. We didn't have to kill her so we got bonus gold for turning her in alive.

TL;DR- I fucked a succubus while zombies were killed around me.
#70 - Orc has deleted their comment.
#20 - I like my own but that's just because I write like I talk. Bas…  [+] (1 new reply) 03/11/2014 on The dumbest person I ever met 0
User avatar #21 - tripscausedthis (03/11/2014) [-]
yeah I'm a story teller in person but text doesn't always convey that
#18 - I think I might just abandon this one and start a new. This st…  [+] (4 new replies) 03/11/2014 on The dumbest person I ever met 0
User avatar #23 - krasnogvardiech (03/11/2014) [-]
NO DON'T PLEASE KEEP GOING
User avatar #19 - tripscausedthis (03/11/2014) [-]
some people hate it, but green text that shit. its easier to emphasize something that would normally be said when it is on an individual line. my stories wouldn't have had the same punch they did without using that format.
User avatar #20 - HailtotheKing (03/11/2014) [-]
I like my own but that's just because I write like I talk. Basically whenever I write a story I say it out loud to myself then just write it down.
User avatar #21 - tripscausedthis (03/11/2014) [-]
yeah I'm a story teller in person but text doesn't always convey that
#13 - Is this one good enough to keep going?  [+] (4 new replies) 03/10/2014 on The dumbest person I ever met +3
User avatar #28 - ahugefan (03/11/2014) [-]
Keep it going bro (just maybe next time have it pretyped) but so far, i'm a huge fan, I'm waiting for the rest and im sure quite a few others are as well
User avatar #14 - joekerr (03/10/2014) [-]
Yeah, just do it. Ignore complains except for constructive criticism. You could pretype it for example, like tripscausedthis or sibrentcoe.
User avatar #24 - perform (03/11/2014) [-]
brentcoe is the stuff of legends okay.
User avatar #15 - tripscausedthis (03/11/2014) [-]
id read the shit outa this.
#9 - Picture  [+] (1 new reply) 03/10/2014 on Good Questions 0
#10 - shallowandpedantic (03/10/2014) [-]
**shallowandpedantic rolled a random image posted in comment #844632 at Friendly **
#8 - If people like it I'll keep going. If not I guess I'll just ab… 03/10/2014 on The dumbest person I ever met +1
#7 - You know, writing this I kind of realize that it doesn't sound… 03/10/2014 on The dumbest person I ever met 0
#4 - You know how you just kind of assume that all people have comm…  [+] (6 new replies) 03/10/2014 on The dumbest person I ever met +19
User avatar #12 - joekerr (03/10/2014) [-]
Stick this comment, please ;)
User avatar #13 - HailtotheKing (03/10/2014) [-]
Is this one good enough to keep going?
User avatar #28 - ahugefan (03/11/2014) [-]
Keep it going bro (just maybe next time have it pretyped) but so far, i'm a huge fan, I'm waiting for the rest and im sure quite a few others are as well
User avatar #14 - joekerr (03/10/2014) [-]
Yeah, just do it. Ignore complains except for constructive criticism. You could pretype it for example, like tripscausedthis or sibrentcoe.
User avatar #24 - perform (03/11/2014) [-]
brentcoe is the stuff of legends okay.
User avatar #15 - tripscausedthis (03/11/2014) [-]
id read the shit outa this.
#3 - Please do let me finish before you call me names. The…  [+] (1 new reply) 03/10/2014 on The dumbest person I ever met +7
User avatar #27 - psykobear (03/11/2014) [-]
Fuck him, keep doing what you're doing.
#38 - Actually I gave him permission to post this. He took the time …  [+] (3 new replies) 03/10/2014 on Gothopotimus +2
User avatar #39 - joekerr (03/10/2014) [-]
He got them, don't worry. But you're the source, so you do so, too.
User avatar #40 - wulphshadowtail (03/10/2014) [-]
That he does. Now, if you can bare with me and this stupid question; how do I sticky a comment?
#41 - joekerr (03/10/2014) [-]
Make a new comment with the link. There will be the option to stick that one. You could stick mine, but that wouldn't be appropriate.

You can't stick replies! ... I think.
#36 - Well you guys liked my first one. Have another. 03/10/2014 on Gothopotimus +1
#35 - Here you go!  [+] (5 new replies) 03/10/2014 on Gothopotimus +2
User avatar #37 - joekerr (03/10/2014) [-]
wulphshadowtail, sticky this. honor him.
User avatar #38 - HailtotheKing (03/10/2014) [-]
Actually I gave him permission to post this. He took the time to cut the text out and make it look pretty good overall so he deserves some thumbs.
User avatar #39 - joekerr (03/10/2014) [-]
He got them, don't worry. But you're the source, so you do so, too.
User avatar #40 - wulphshadowtail (03/10/2014) [-]
That he does. Now, if you can bare with me and this stupid question; how do I sticky a comment?
#41 - joekerr (03/10/2014) [-]
Make a new comment with the link. There will be the option to stick that one. You could stick mine, but that wouldn't be appropriate.

You can't stick replies! ... I think.
#33 - Thank you for asking! That was split into two parts,… 03/10/2014 on Gothopotimus +1
#31 - Comment deleted 03/10/2014 on Gothopotimus 0
#28 - Actually I'm already writing another. It's about the…  [+] (3 new replies) 03/10/2014 on Gothopotimus 0
User avatar #30 - xgreenmaidenx (03/10/2014) [-]
And, you don't need to answer this if you don't want to, but how did you find a something about rasicism in the hunger games? ( i'm thinking of your comment in the content ofc )
User avatar #33 - HailtotheKing (03/10/2014) [-]
Thank you for asking!

That was split into two parts, once about the events of the book and another around the movie and how people reacted when they realized Rue was black. (for those of you who haven't read the book they say she was dark skinned but never really bring it up again.)

What I said for the first point was that there is no real racism in the Hunger Games because they are all in a crisis situation. They all work together in the districts, showing that if we all have a common goal then stupid things like race differential don't matter.

The second one was where I actually brought a little bit of comedy into it. If you didn't read about it, some very stupid fans were angry because Rue was played by a black girl, you know, BECAUSE HER CHARACTER IS BLACK. So I talked about how they jumped on Twitter and bitched about it because they felt that it ruined the movie for them just because she was black.

Fun paper overall, even writing her parts.
#31 - HailtotheKing has deleted their comment.
#13 - Hello. 03/10/2014 on Gothopotimus +9
#220 - Currently I am taking another ADD medication, Vyvanse, regular… 03/10/2014 on (untitled) 0
#12 - You know, people mistook a lot of what I was making fun of her…  [+] (1 new reply) 03/10/2014 on Gothopotimus +2
User avatar #32 - chimpaflimp (03/10/2014) [-]
Yeah, well, this site is on a permanent menopause. They'll argue whenever they get the fucking chance.
#11 - Hey, that's me! I'm actually really glad that people liked my …  [+] (12 new replies) 03/10/2014 on Gothopotimus +21
#34 - huffe (03/10/2014) [-]
DOITNAO
#29 - unitlogistfaction (03/10/2014) [-]
There's more?! I would love to hear them.
#27 - xgreenmaidenx (03/10/2014) [-]
Write more.
User avatar #28 - HailtotheKing (03/10/2014) [-]
Actually I'm already writing another.

It's about the stupidest person I ever met.
User avatar #30 - xgreenmaidenx (03/10/2014) [-]
And, you don't need to answer this if you don't want to, but how did you find a something about rasicism in the hunger games? ( i'm thinking of your comment in the content ofc )
User avatar #33 - HailtotheKing (03/10/2014) [-]
Thank you for asking!

That was split into two parts, once about the events of the book and another around the movie and how people reacted when they realized Rue was black. (for those of you who haven't read the book they say she was dark skinned but never really bring it up again.)

What I said for the first point was that there is no real racism in the Hunger Games because they are all in a crisis situation. They all work together in the districts, showing that if we all have a common goal then stupid things like race differential don't matter.

The second one was where I actually brought a little bit of comedy into it. If you didn't read about it, some very stupid fans were angry because Rue was played by a black girl, you know, BECAUSE HER CHARACTER IS BLACK. So I talked about how they jumped on Twitter and bitched about it because they felt that it ruined the movie for them just because she was black.

Fun paper overall, even writing her parts.
#31 - HailtotheKing has deleted their comment.
User avatar #24 - joekerr (03/10/2014) [-]
Do it!
#19 - anonymous (03/10/2014) [-]
aww yeah!

Please do <3
#18 - mrswagly (03/10/2014) [-]
#17 - SteyrAUG (03/10/2014) [-]
Yes. Please write more.

Sacrifice not part of the metaphor
#15 - hazelnutqt (03/10/2014) [-]
Would be kindly appreciated.



.....




Who am I kidding, write more stories or I will do unspeakable things in an effort to relieve the dreadful boredom I'm feeling.
#203 - Alright, I get that. Maybe it could alter your mind if you don…  [+] (1 new reply) 03/10/2014 on (untitled) 0
User avatar #206 - brucekillah (03/10/2014) [-]
Your second point definitely does stand, depending on how many pills the guy received, since it doesnt say. But $20 for a pill is stupid, unless they were tricked by the dealer or scammed by one of their "friends"
#190 - Who goes to a party and takes Adderal? I know it's considered …  [+] (6 new replies) 03/10/2014 on (untitled) +1
User avatar #217 - midgetnigger (03/10/2014) [-]
I'm not saying that Brucekillah is wrong by any means, but as a Uni student I think I can explain it a bit better.
You see, Adderall is just a combination of different forms of amphetamine. It's considered a psychostimulant and is a Schedule 2 drug (as classified by the U.S.). It is used by many college students for it's ability to help them concentrate and focus while studying, but more often than not it is used to enable them party longer, or better withstand the effects of alcohol. I go to the local university and just recently began taking adderall, purely for studying, not at all for partying. I do not have a history of ADD or ADHD, but I can assure you that that shit works wonders. The first time I took it I was running on very little sleep from the night before and I had a test in about 2 hours. I got a hold of one from my roommate and took it. It was 30mg instant release pill (I'm a big dude at 6'7" and 220lbs, didn't figure it'd effect me as much). I didn't feel anything from it for about 45 minutes and simply attributed this lack of effects to my size and metabolism. Minute 46 hit and holy shit. Not only did it allow me to focus and get shit done, but I took my test that afternoon without a single hint of nervousness or anxiety. It generally made me feel fucking great. Just sitting in my chair at my desk a certain way blew my mind. I'm not gonna lie, it made me more pleasant and just a bit more talkative as well. I genuinely felt motivated to do things, and I got quite a bit done that night (although it was hard to convince myself to move at times just because different things like sitting a certain can make you feel great). So far, the only two down sides I can see are that 1It makes sleep damn near impossible, and 2After taking it for a few days in a row and then quiting, it can give you a decent headache. So far I haven't encountered one that a few advil couldn't handle though. Anyway, those are my thoughts on adderall. Hope it helped!
User avatar #220 - HailtotheKing (03/10/2014) [-]
Currently I am taking another ADD medication, Vyvanse, regularly and it is exactly like what you described. It is motivation in pill form but to me that doesn't sound like fun, that sounds like something I would take if I have a busy day and needed to fulfill deadlines. But I don't know what it's like if I took it WITHOUT having ADD, I only have the perspective of someone taking it as normal medication. Who knows, it could be like heroine and LSD's love child but I can never and will never know.
User avatar #218 - brucekillah (03/10/2014) [-]
cool, someone who knows some shit
User avatar #195 - brucekillah (03/10/2014) [-]
it has differing effects if you do or dont have ADHD. When i was on it i walked around my elementary school like a zombie, but ive seen some of my friends from high school go buck wild on that shit
User avatar #203 - HailtotheKing (03/10/2014) [-]
Alright, I get that. Maybe it could alter your mind if you don't actually have the condition, I wouldn't know. But my second point still stands which really makes me think that person who wrote this has never actually been to a party before.
User avatar #206 - brucekillah (03/10/2014) [-]
Your second point definitely does stand, depending on how many pills the guy received, since it doesnt say. But $20 for a pill is stupid, unless they were tricked by the dealer or scammed by one of their "friends"
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User avatar #65 - insertsfunnyname ONLINE (07/11/2014) [-]
Hey, thanks for the friend request ^_^
User avatar #66 to #65 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (07/11/2014) [-]
My pleasure! ^^ So, new friend, what should I know about you?
User avatar #67 to #66 - insertsfunnyname ONLINE (07/11/2014) [-]
I don't know really, I'm not that interesting in all honesty :v

Well, my name is Sam and I'm for Hampshire, England, you? ^^
User avatar #68 to #67 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (07/12/2014) [-]
Everyone is interesting in their own way. At least I think so

Sam. Is that short for Samuel or Samantha?
User avatar #69 to #68 - insertsfunnyname ONLINE (07/12/2014) [-]
That's debatable xD

It's short for Samuel - not that I've ever been called that O_o
#64 - miraikuriyama (03/23/2014) [-]
#twerktem2014
#twerktem2014
User avatar #62 - lilhanna (03/09/2014) [-]
Thank you for that great story and being so nice with dealing with the forums.
User avatar #63 to #62 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (03/09/2014) [-]
What can I say, I love telling stories and I've dealt with bigger asshole on the internet
#59 - vetis ONLINE (03/03/2014) [-]
BIG SCARY PANDA! RAWR!
#61 to #60 - vetis ONLINE (03/03/2014) [-]
Wow, that's an ugly panda. Looks like it's in the awkward teenage stage. Lol.
User avatar #57 - HorriblyCrazy (01/02/2014) [-]
i want the d

anny
User avatar #58 to #57 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (01/02/2014) [-]
I want the v

agina
#50 - electraheart (06/18/2013) [-]
look at this precious baby  uwu
look at this precious baby uwu
User avatar #51 to #50 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (06/18/2013) [-]
Hair curls .3.
#52 to #51 - electraheart (06/18/2013) [-]
yeehh and thats not all .3.
yeehh and thats not all .3.
User avatar #53 to #52 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (06/18/2013) [-]
.3. how many of these do you have?
#54 to #53 - electraheart (06/18/2013) [-]
.3. i may or may not have made a mascot folder of her
.3. i may or may not have made a mascot folder of her
User avatar #55 to #54 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (06/18/2013) [-]
I fully expected you to say that .3.
#56 to #55 - electraheart (06/18/2013) [-]
you know me so well :3
you know me so well :3
#49 - electraheart has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #47 - Furry (01/09/2013) [-]
hi ^^
User avatar #48 to #47 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (01/09/2013) [-]
Hello :3
User avatar #43 - infernalinsolence (12/28/2012) [-]
“John,” said Sherlock in a lower voice. “I give you my word. I won't touch it again.”
User avatar #41 - freakaleak (09/13/2012) [-]
ouch!
User avatar #42 to #41 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (09/13/2012) [-]
Sorry! .n. I was just clearing out some of the people I hardly talk to, feel free to re-add me if you want to :)
#32 - marshmallowsammich (01/19/2012) [-]
Hello there :3
Hello there :3
User avatar #33 to #32 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (01/19/2012) [-]
You know what you should do?
#34 to #33 - marshmallowsammich (01/19/2012) [-]
Fuck some cats :c
User avatar #35 to #34 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (01/19/2012) [-]
nuh uh! D:
#36 to #35 - marshmallowsammich (01/19/2012) [-]
Then wat do I do?
Then wat do I do?
#31 - LoLgenerator (09/16/2011) [-]
**LoLgenerator rolled a random image**  
  
  
╔══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╗  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong jewish jew ~ ~ ~  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who did nine eleven ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╝
**LoLgenerator rolled a random image**


╔══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╗
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong jewish jew ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who did nine eleven ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╝
User avatar #25 - HorriblyCrazy (08/09/2011) [-]
It wouldn't let me respond D:

I'm Destiny.
Yeah, lets go with that :)
User avatar #26 to #25 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (08/09/2011) [-]
:DD what a beautiful name!
User avatar #27 to #26 - HorriblyCrazy (08/09/2011) [-]
You're just a charmer, aren't you? :3
User avatar #28 to #27 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (08/09/2011) [-]
nah, its just my nature
User avatar #29 to #28 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (08/09/2011) [-]
good night destiny, sweet dreams
User avatar #30 to #29 - HorriblyCrazy (08/09/2011) [-]
Goodnight :) Danny
#18 - purrlikeawalrus **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #19 to #18 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (08/01/2011) [-]
DD: i see.
#23 to #19 - purrlikeawalrus **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #24 to #23 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (08/03/2011) [-]
-tackle hugs-
#21 to #19 - purrlikeawalrus **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #22 to #21 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (08/02/2011) [-]
. n . fb?
#20 to #19 - purrlikeawalrus **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#17 - ironpns **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#8 - JustMeagan (02/22/2011) [-]
Why do you want to be my friend? No offense intended.
Why do you want to be my friend? No offense intended.
User avatar #9 to #8 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (02/22/2011) [-]
no reason, im bored and wanted to make a new friend :P
User avatar #10 to #9 - JustMeagan (02/22/2011) [-]
That kind of sounds rapisty.
User avatar #11 to #10 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (02/22/2011) [-]
care for some free popcorn and chocolate?
#12 to #11 - JustMeagan (02/22/2011) [-]
Really?! Where?!
User avatar #13 to #12 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (02/22/2011) [-]
right in my van.
User avatar #15 to #14 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (02/22/2011) [-]
well fine! i guess ill just give you the free amazingness!
-gives pop corn and chocolate-
User avatar #5 - grimendirt (01/23/2011) [-]
who is this
User avatar #6 to #5 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (01/23/2011) [-]
no one, someone called you taylor once in a comment so i called you taylor on your page.
User avatar #7 to #6 - grimendirt (01/23/2011) [-]
oh that was the op muh friend.
#2 - sqwishi **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #3 to #2 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (11/10/2010) [-]
-huggle-
#4 to #3 - sqwishi **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #1 - MaxTheCow (10/03/2010) [-]
FIRST
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