Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu

HailtotheKing    

Rank #1229 on Comments
HailtotheKing Avatar Level 226 Comments: Mind Blower
Online
Send mail to HailtotheKing Block HailtotheKing Invite HailtotheKing to be your friend flag avatar
Last status update:
-
Personal Info
Gender: male
Age: 20
Date Signed Up:3/01/2010
Last Login:9/21/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Comment Ranking:#1229
Highest Content Rank:#7390
Highest Comment Rank:#1142
Content Thumbs: 76 total,  92 ,  16
Comment Thumbs: 3337 total,  3476 ,  139
Content Level Progress: 80% (4/5)
Level 3 Content: New Here → Level 4 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 10% (10/100)
Level 226 Comments: Mind Blower → Level 227 Comments: Mind Blower
Subscribers:12
Content Views:8811
Times Content Favorited:5 times
Total Comments Made:639
FJ Points:2825
Hail to the king, baby

latest user's comments

#21 - What is it from? It looked so familiar but I can't place my fi…  [+] (2 new replies) 05/07/2014 on you know 0
User avatar #34 - mostlyshits (05/07/2014) [-]
User avatar #25 - skrelt (05/07/2014) [-]
game of thrones purple wedding
#90 - All of those things are My Little Pony Roleplaying factions. … 04/29/2014 on Boney M. !!!! 0
#10 - Welp, there goes my week.  [+] (1 new reply) 04/28/2014 on New lvl fetish on /d/ 0
User avatar #11 - brokentrucker (04/28/2014) [-]
Bruno Mars - Locked Out Of Heaven [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Let's see if we can't absorb the rest of your lifetime with sexual songs.
#8 - Welp, there goes my night.  [+] (3 new replies) 04/28/2014 on New lvl fetish on /d/ +1
User avatar #9 - brokentrucker (04/28/2014) [-]
User avatar #10 - HailtotheKing (04/28/2014) [-]
Welp, there goes my week.
User avatar #11 - brokentrucker (04/28/2014) [-]
Bruno Mars - Locked Out Of Heaven [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Let's see if we can't absorb the rest of your lifetime with sexual songs.
#6 - What video is that? I remember seeing it years ago and enjoyin…  [+] (6 new replies) 04/28/2014 on New lvl fetish on /d/ +1
#26 - 4chan refugee (04/29/2014) [-]
Sexual-lobster on newgrounds. He's been posting there for years now.
User avatar #7 - brokentrucker (04/28/2014) [-]
User avatar #8 - HailtotheKing (04/28/2014) [-]
Welp, there goes my night.
User avatar #9 - brokentrucker (04/28/2014) [-]
User avatar #10 - HailtotheKing (04/28/2014) [-]
Welp, there goes my week.
User avatar #11 - brokentrucker (04/28/2014) [-]
Bruno Mars - Locked Out Of Heaven [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Let's see if we can't absorb the rest of your lifetime with sexual songs.
#97 - Let me just ask you this, does it matter if it's true? … 04/25/2014 on Another 4chan Greentext 0
#108 - Actually they have! 04/22/2014 on Stable camera 0
#56 - Skunks can actually make pretty good pets and you don't even n…  [+] (1 new reply) 04/20/2014 on (untitled) +4
User avatar #100 - somethingpants (04/20/2014) [-]
Mainly inside pets, though, because they don't have a very good homing sense. So if you lose it and you don't live in a place where they'd immediately recognize the skunk as a pet and yours if they saw it, it'll basically never be able to find its own way back.
#59 - I know they look like Satan and Cronenbergs love child but coc…  [+] (1 new reply) 04/17/2014 on KILL IT WITH FIRE +12
#101 - Monopolus (04/20/2014) [-]
I want one now.
#341 - He finally get's her standing and the smell becomes even stron…  [+] (2 new replies) 04/16/2014 on WARNING! +5
#367 - Monopolus (04/16/2014) [-]
#366 - unicornmangina (04/16/2014) [-]
holy fucking fucksticks
#323 - "Oh Lordy! Oh Gawd stop the pain! Please! Please Jehsus!&…  [+] (3 new replies) 04/16/2014 on WARNING! +5
User avatar #341 - HailtotheKing (04/16/2014) [-]
He finally get's her standing and the smell becomes even stronger. Since the gown wouldn't actually close in the back it reeked like shit and piss throughout the entire floor the second she got up onto her feet. She took her first step and something started to drop from her crotch. Red like blood but it had bubbles in it like spit. It dripped ever time she took a step so when she got back to her bed there was a trail like a shot caribou. My dad got a nurse and got her about the situation, she then got a few more people to take a look at this woman. This is when she told my father the most disgusting thing I have ever heard.

basically this woman lived on a couch. not too uncommon for someone her size but she had been living there for about 12 years. Her caregivers would feed her and clean up after any mess, prepare her meals, take her to the bathroom, things like that. Only problem was a few months ago the caregiver quit and this woman didn't have the money for a new one, so she just sat around eating whatever she could make and occasionally using the bathroom. Not showering, though, which meant that she could never clean between the fold of her fat. That combined with sweat, piss, and any other juices that accumulated near her crotch made this slurry of human waste that these poor fucking nurses had to clean out. The red color was actually from blood, during her pelvic exam the nurse found that this woman's vagina had been coated with this paste that then became hard and fused with her skin. They had to remove it which made her crotch start to bleed and because there were so many folds of skin they couldn't find all the blood.

So there you go. Awful, disgusting, painful story that haunts my fucking thoughts.
#367 - Monopolus (04/16/2014) [-]
#366 - unicornmangina (04/16/2014) [-]
holy fucking fucksticks
#311 - Time for gross, awful, disgusting story time! I have…  [+] (5 new replies) 04/16/2014 on WARNING! +6
User avatar #323 - HailtotheKing (04/16/2014) [-]
"Oh Lordy! Oh Gawd stop the pain! Please! Please Jehsus!"

Like that but constantly and with more profanity while blaming the nurses for causing her this pain. Eventually another orderly comes in and taps my dad on the shoulder. He basically tells my father that this is going to take a while and that he should come back, which he does. After a few hours and as the day is wrapping up he pays another visit to the whale tank to do some work on her. Apparently she broke one of her knees and her left hip bone just trying to walk so the goal was to get her in a diet and exercise program before she left. As he comes in the stink if still there is not worse but because he's a professional he deals it and starts talking to her. This is where she became awful, she hayed doctors and any medical personnel. Said they were "The Devils hands that only exist to hurt and insult!" probably because no doctor in the world has ever told her anything positive.

My dad starts his normal routine, walking her very slowly from one side of the room to the other. He tries to stand her up but she swats his hand away.

"If Gawd wanted me ta walk he wouldnta let me break ma leg!"
"Ma'am I have a job to do. I want you to walk out of the doors of this hospital when you leave, not get pushed out on some wheelchair."
"Gawd doesn't want me ta walk!"
"Look, you don't like me, I get that. You can get me to leave if you just walk across the room."
"But Gawds will says-"
"If you do not try to get better then you are going to die within the next five years. If you actually put in the effort you can live to your seventies but as it stands you won't live to see the end of this decade." My father is a pretty straight forward guy if you can't tell. No bullshit when it comes to his job, he get's you fixed as quick as he can in whatever ways he can.

Once again, next part in a reply.
User avatar #341 - HailtotheKing (04/16/2014) [-]
He finally get's her standing and the smell becomes even stronger. Since the gown wouldn't actually close in the back it reeked like shit and piss throughout the entire floor the second she got up onto her feet. She took her first step and something started to drop from her crotch. Red like blood but it had bubbles in it like spit. It dripped ever time she took a step so when she got back to her bed there was a trail like a shot caribou. My dad got a nurse and got her about the situation, she then got a few more people to take a look at this woman. This is when she told my father the most disgusting thing I have ever heard.

basically this woman lived on a couch. not too uncommon for someone her size but she had been living there for about 12 years. Her caregivers would feed her and clean up after any mess, prepare her meals, take her to the bathroom, things like that. Only problem was a few months ago the caregiver quit and this woman didn't have the money for a new one, so she just sat around eating whatever she could make and occasionally using the bathroom. Not showering, though, which meant that she could never clean between the fold of her fat. That combined with sweat, piss, and any other juices that accumulated near her crotch made this slurry of human waste that these poor fucking nurses had to clean out. The red color was actually from blood, during her pelvic exam the nurse found that this woman's vagina had been coated with this paste that then became hard and fused with her skin. They had to remove it which made her crotch start to bleed and because there were so many folds of skin they couldn't find all the blood.

So there you go. Awful, disgusting, painful story that haunts my fucking thoughts.
#367 - Monopolus (04/16/2014) [-]
#366 - unicornmangina (04/16/2014) [-]
holy fucking fucksticks
User avatar #317 - itsmedumbass (04/16/2014) [-]
MOAR
#91 - I feel then same but then again I don't watch a lot of anime. … 04/10/2014 on Confession Bear 0
#24 - I love this picture as much as anyone but that isn't Luthor, i…  [+] (1 new reply) 04/10/2014 on bulba +1
#26 - evilwheatleycore (04/10/2014) [-]
I figured as much, though I think there was a time Luthor was a fat fuck so it still fits.
#47 - It just looks like two people having fun, props to her for not… 04/07/2014 on Come here, mama, let me... 0
#233 - See, it's not just one thing. It's not like one day you wake u… 04/07/2014 on Tumblr At Party 0
#18 - When House was first coming on I used to watch it with my mom.… 04/06/2014 on doctor doctor 0
#979 - But which one is which. answer u both ghey 04/05/2014 on miraikuriyama's profile 0
#978 - Picture 04/05/2014 on miraikuriyama's profile 0
#115 - Honey-nut fellios. 04/04/2014 on i didnt ask for these feels 0
#8360227 - Picture 04/04/2014 on sfw random board 0
#275 - You know, I think I know a lot about psychology but I only hav… 04/03/2014 on Hello, I am dinoexplain 0
#271 - Ah, my bad!  [+] (3 new replies) 04/03/2014 on Hello, I am dinoexplain 0
User avatar #272 - breadcrumbtheif (04/03/2014) [-]
But do not worry, you can always fight to the death highlander style and then eat his brain to gain his powers. Tis the rational and scientific way to proceed.
User avatar #332 - psychexplain (04/03/2014) [-]
(daentraya here) As a person interested in rationality, I will back that statement up. It is certainly the best way to establish a hierarchy, and everyone knows that eating a persons' brain sends its' neural connections patterns for your brain to copy and thus learn, and why zombies try to eat brains in order to become undead supergeniusses. This is basic science.
HailtotheKing, we would want to recruit you for the army. Tell us your weapon of choice, and you will be provided with the key. some of us are just amateurs on here, we could need some PhD action going here.
User avatar #275 - HailtotheKing (04/03/2014) [-]
You know, I think I know a lot about psychology but I only have a masters, you need that PhD to Highlander battle properly.
#257 - If someone is looking for something like "PsychologyExpla…  [+] (5 new replies) 04/03/2014 on Hello, I am dinoexplain 0
User avatar #269 - breadcrumbtheif (04/03/2014) [-]
Already is a Psychexplain
User avatar #271 - HailtotheKing (04/03/2014) [-]
Ah, my bad!
User avatar #272 - breadcrumbtheif (04/03/2014) [-]
But do not worry, you can always fight to the death highlander style and then eat his brain to gain his powers. Tis the rational and scientific way to proceed.
User avatar #332 - psychexplain (04/03/2014) [-]
(daentraya here) As a person interested in rationality, I will back that statement up. It is certainly the best way to establish a hierarchy, and everyone knows that eating a persons' brain sends its' neural connections patterns for your brain to copy and thus learn, and why zombies try to eat brains in order to become undead supergeniusses. This is basic science.
HailtotheKing, we would want to recruit you for the army. Tell us your weapon of choice, and you will be provided with the key. some of us are just amateurs on here, we could need some PhD action going here.
User avatar #275 - HailtotheKing (04/03/2014) [-]
You know, I think I know a lot about psychology but I only have a masters, you need that PhD to Highlander battle properly.
#146 - This is what I don't get; people turn to Honey Boo Boo or Jers…  [+] (1 new reply) 04/03/2014 on ilerminaty +2
User avatar #253 - tkfourtwoone (04/03/2014) [-]
" Do people honestly just do shit like this in order to make themselves feel better? "

Most people I know do that, exactly for that reason. Which really is saddening.
For quite a few good years now, I vowed to myself to look UP, not DOWN, since there is nothing for me down there.
Show:
Sort by:
Order:

items

Total unique items point value: 2050 / Total items point value: 2100

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Per page:
Order:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #65 - insertsfunnyname (07/11/2014) [-]
Hey, thanks for the friend request ^_^
User avatar #66 to #65 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (07/11/2014) [-]
My pleasure! ^^ So, new friend, what should I know about you?
User avatar #67 to #66 - insertsfunnyname (07/11/2014) [-]
I don't know really, I'm not that interesting in all honesty :v

Well, my name is Sam and I'm for Hampshire, England, you? ^^
User avatar #68 to #67 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (07/12/2014) [-]
Everyone is interesting in their own way. At least I think so

Sam. Is that short for Samuel or Samantha?
User avatar #69 to #68 - insertsfunnyname (07/12/2014) [-]
That's debatable xD

It's short for Samuel - not that I've ever been called that O_o
#64 - miraikuriyama (03/23/2014) [-]
#twerktem2014
#twerktem2014
User avatar #62 - lilhanna (03/09/2014) [-]
Thank you for that great story and being so nice with dealing with the forums.
User avatar #63 to #62 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (03/09/2014) [-]
What can I say, I love telling stories and I've dealt with bigger asshole on the internet
#59 - vetis (03/03/2014) [-]
BIG SCARY PANDA! RAWR!
#61 to #60 - vetis (03/03/2014) [-]
Wow, that's an ugly panda. Looks like it's in the awkward teenage stage. Lol.
User avatar #57 - HorriblyCrazy (01/02/2014) [-]
i want the d

anny
User avatar #58 to #57 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (01/02/2014) [-]
I want the v

agina
#50 - electraheart ONLINE (06/18/2013) [-]
look at this precious baby  uwu
look at this precious baby uwu
User avatar #51 to #50 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (06/18/2013) [-]
Hair curls .3.
#52 to #51 - electraheart ONLINE (06/18/2013) [-]
yeehh and thats not all .3.
yeehh and thats not all .3.
User avatar #53 to #52 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (06/18/2013) [-]
.3. how many of these do you have?
#54 to #53 - electraheart ONLINE (06/18/2013) [-]
.3. i may or may not have made a mascot folder of her
.3. i may or may not have made a mascot folder of her
User avatar #55 to #54 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (06/18/2013) [-]
I fully expected you to say that .3.
#56 to #55 - electraheart ONLINE (06/18/2013) [-]
you know me so well :3
you know me so well :3
#49 - electraheart has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #47 - Furry (01/09/2013) [-]
hi ^^
User avatar #48 to #47 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (01/09/2013) [-]
Hello :3
User avatar #43 - infernalinsolence ONLINE (12/28/2012) [-]
“John,” said Sherlock in a lower voice. “I give you my word. I won't touch it again.”
User avatar #41 - freakaleak (09/13/2012) [-]
ouch!
User avatar #42 to #41 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (09/13/2012) [-]
Sorry! .n. I was just clearing out some of the people I hardly talk to, feel free to re-add me if you want to :)
#32 - marshmallowsammich (01/19/2012) [-]
Hello there :3
Hello there :3
User avatar #33 to #32 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (01/19/2012) [-]
You know what you should do?
User avatar #35 to #34 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (01/19/2012) [-]
nuh uh! D:
#36 to #35 - marshmallowsammich (01/19/2012) [-]
Then wat do I do?
Then wat do I do?
#31 - LoLgenerator (09/16/2011) [-]
**LoLgenerator rolled a random image**  
  
  
╔══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╗  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong jewish jew ~ ~ ~  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who did nine eleven ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╝
**LoLgenerator rolled a random image**


╔══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╗
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong jewish jew ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who did nine eleven ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╝
User avatar #25 - HorriblyCrazy (08/09/2011) [-]
It wouldn't let me respond D:

I'm Destiny.
Yeah, lets go with that :)
User avatar #26 to #25 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (08/09/2011) [-]
:DD what a beautiful name!
User avatar #27 to #26 - HorriblyCrazy (08/09/2011) [-]
You're just a charmer, aren't you? :3
User avatar #28 to #27 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (08/09/2011) [-]
nah, its just my nature
User avatar #29 to #28 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (08/09/2011) [-]
good night destiny, sweet dreams
User avatar #30 to #29 - HorriblyCrazy (08/09/2011) [-]
Goodnight :) Danny
#18 - purrlikeawalrus **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #19 to #18 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (08/01/2011) [-]
DD: i see.
#23 to #19 - purrlikeawalrus **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #24 to #23 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (08/03/2011) [-]
-tackle hugs-
#21 to #19 - purrlikeawalrus **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #22 to #21 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (08/02/2011) [-]
. n . fb?
#20 to #19 - purrlikeawalrus **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#17 - ironpns **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#8 - JustMeagan (02/22/2011) [-]
Why do you want to be my friend? No offense intended.
Why do you want to be my friend? No offense intended.
User avatar #9 to #8 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (02/22/2011) [-]
no reason, im bored and wanted to make a new friend :P
User avatar #10 to #9 - JustMeagan (02/22/2011) [-]
That kind of sounds rapisty.
User avatar #11 to #10 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (02/22/2011) [-]
care for some free popcorn and chocolate?
#12 to #11 - JustMeagan (02/22/2011) [-]
Really?! Where?!
User avatar #13 to #12 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (02/22/2011) [-]
right in my van.
User avatar #15 to #14 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (02/22/2011) [-]
well fine! i guess ill just give you the free amazingness!
-gives pop corn and chocolate-
User avatar #5 - grimendirt (01/23/2011) [-]
who is this
User avatar #6 to #5 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (01/23/2011) [-]
no one, someone called you taylor once in a comment so i called you taylor on your page.
User avatar #7 to #6 - grimendirt (01/23/2011) [-]
oh that was the op muh friend.
#2 - sqwishi **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #3 to #2 - HailtotheKing ONLINE (11/10/2010) [-]
-huggle-
#4 to #3 - sqwishi **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #1 - MaxTheCow (10/03/2010) [-]
FIRST
 Friends (0)