Home Funny Pictures YouTube Funny Videos Funny GIFs Text/Links Channels Search

HailtotheKing    

Rank #2566 on Comments
HailtotheKing Avatar Level 210 Comments: Comedic Genius
Offline
Send mail to HailtotheKing Block HailtotheKing Invite HailtotheKing to be your friend flag avatar
Last status update:
-
Personal Info
Gender: male
Age: 20
Date Signed Up:3/01/2010
Last Login:4/18/2014
Funnyjunk Career Stats
Content Ranking:#7731
Comment Ranking:#2566
Highest Content Rank:#7655
Highest Comment Rank:#2540
Content Thumbs: 75 total,  91 ,  16
Comment Thumbs: 1343 total,  1423 ,  80
Content Level Progress: 80% (4/5)
Level 3 Content: New Here → Level 4 Content: New Here
Comment Level Progress: 44% (22/50)
Level 210 Comments: Comedic Genius → Level 211 Comments: Comedic Genius
Subscribers:11
Content Views:8747
Times Content Favorited:5 times
Total Comments Made:545
FJ Points:1336
Hail to the king, baby

latest user's comments

#59 - I know they look like Satan and Cronenbergs love child but coc… 04/17/2014 on KILL IT WITH FIRE +7
#341 - He finally get's her standing and the smell becomes even stron…  [+] (2 new replies) 04/16/2014 on WARNING! +4
#367 - Monopolus (04/16/2014) [-]
#366 - unicornmangina (04/16/2014) [-]
holy fucking fucksticks
#323 - "Oh Lordy! Oh Gawd stop the pain! Please! Please Jehsus!&…  [+] (3 new replies) 04/16/2014 on WARNING! +4
User avatar #341 - HailtotheKing (04/16/2014) [-]
He finally get's her standing and the smell becomes even stronger. Since the gown wouldn't actually close in the back it reeked like shit and piss throughout the entire floor the second she got up onto her feet. She took her first step and something started to drop from her crotch. Red like blood but it had bubbles in it like spit. It dripped ever time she took a step so when she got back to her bed there was a trail like a shot caribou. My dad got a nurse and got her about the situation, she then got a few more people to take a look at this woman. This is when she told my father the most disgusting thing I have ever heard.

basically this woman lived on a couch. not too uncommon for someone her size but she had been living there for about 12 years. Her caregivers would feed her and clean up after any mess, prepare her meals, take her to the bathroom, things like that. Only problem was a few months ago the caregiver quit and this woman didn't have the money for a new one, so she just sat around eating whatever she could make and occasionally using the bathroom. Not showering, though, which meant that she could never clean between the fold of her fat. That combined with sweat, piss, and any other juices that accumulated near her crotch made this slurry of human waste that these poor fucking nurses had to clean out. The red color was actually from blood, during her pelvic exam the nurse found that this woman's vagina had been coated with this paste that then became hard and fused with her skin. They had to remove it which made her crotch start to bleed and because there were so many folds of skin they couldn't find all the blood.

So there you go. Awful, disgusting, painful story that haunts my fucking thoughts.
#367 - Monopolus (04/16/2014) [-]
#366 - unicornmangina (04/16/2014) [-]
holy fucking fucksticks
#311 - Time for gross, awful, disgusting story time! I have…  [+] (5 new replies) 04/16/2014 on WARNING! +5
User avatar #323 - HailtotheKing (04/16/2014) [-]
"Oh Lordy! Oh Gawd stop the pain! Please! Please Jehsus!"

Like that but constantly and with more profanity while blaming the nurses for causing her this pain. Eventually another orderly comes in and taps my dad on the shoulder. He basically tells my father that this is going to take a while and that he should come back, which he does. After a few hours and as the day is wrapping up he pays another visit to the whale tank to do some work on her. Apparently she broke one of her knees and her left hip bone just trying to walk so the goal was to get her in a diet and exercise program before she left. As he comes in the stink if still there is not worse but because he's a professional he deals it and starts talking to her. This is where she became awful, she hayed doctors and any medical personnel. Said they were "The Devils hands that only exist to hurt and insult!" probably because no doctor in the world has ever told her anything positive.

My dad starts his normal routine, walking her very slowly from one side of the room to the other. He tries to stand her up but she swats his hand away.

"If Gawd wanted me ta walk he wouldnta let me break ma leg!"
"Ma'am I have a job to do. I want you to walk out of the doors of this hospital when you leave, not get pushed out on some wheelchair."
"Gawd doesn't want me ta walk!"
"Look, you don't like me, I get that. You can get me to leave if you just walk across the room."
"But Gawds will says-"
"If you do not try to get better then you are going to die within the next five years. If you actually put in the effort you can live to your seventies but as it stands you won't live to see the end of this decade." My father is a pretty straight forward guy if you can't tell. No bullshit when it comes to his job, he get's you fixed as quick as he can in whatever ways he can.

Once again, next part in a reply.
User avatar #341 - HailtotheKing (04/16/2014) [-]
He finally get's her standing and the smell becomes even stronger. Since the gown wouldn't actually close in the back it reeked like shit and piss throughout the entire floor the second she got up onto her feet. She took her first step and something started to drop from her crotch. Red like blood but it had bubbles in it like spit. It dripped ever time she took a step so when she got back to her bed there was a trail like a shot caribou. My dad got a nurse and got her about the situation, she then got a few more people to take a look at this woman. This is when she told my father the most disgusting thing I have ever heard.

basically this woman lived on a couch. not too uncommon for someone her size but she had been living there for about 12 years. Her caregivers would feed her and clean up after any mess, prepare her meals, take her to the bathroom, things like that. Only problem was a few months ago the caregiver quit and this woman didn't have the money for a new one, so she just sat around eating whatever she could make and occasionally using the bathroom. Not showering, though, which meant that she could never clean between the fold of her fat. That combined with sweat, piss, and any other juices that accumulated near her crotch made this slurry of human waste that these poor fucking nurses had to clean out. The red color was actually from blood, during her pelvic exam the nurse found that this woman's vagina had been coated with this paste that then became hard and fused with her skin. They had to remove it which made her crotch start to bleed and because there were so many folds of skin they couldn't find all the blood.

So there you go. Awful, disgusting, painful story that haunts my fucking thoughts.
#367 - Monopolus (04/16/2014) [-]
#366 - unicornmangina (04/16/2014) [-]
holy fucking fucksticks
User avatar #317 - itsmedumbass (04/16/2014) [-]
MOAR
#91 - I feel then same but then again I don't watch a lot of anime. … 04/10/2014 on Confession Bear 0
#24 - I love this picture as much as anyone but that isn't Luthor, i…  [+] (1 new reply) 04/10/2014 on bulba +1
#26 - evilwheatleycore (04/10/2014) [-]
I figured as much, though I think there was a time Luthor was a fat fuck so it still fits.
#47 - It just looks like two people having fun, props to her for not… 04/07/2014 on Come here, mama, let me... 0
#233 - See, it's not just one thing. It's not like one day you wake u… 04/07/2014 on Tumblr At Party 0
#18 - When House was first coming on I used to watch it with my mom.… 04/06/2014 on doctor doctor 0
#979 - But which one is which. answer u both ghey 04/05/2014 on miraikuriyama's profile 0
Show:
Sort by:
Order:

items

Total unique items point value: 2050 / Total items point value: 2100
Per page:
Order:

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Anonymous commenting is allowed
#64 - miraikuriyama (03/23/2014) [-]
#twerktem2014
#twerktem2014
User avatar #62 - lilhanna (03/09/2014) [-]
Thank you for that great story and being so nice with dealing with the forums.
User avatar #63 to #62 - HailtotheKing (03/09/2014) [-]
What can I say, I love telling stories and I've dealt with bigger ******* on the internet
#59 - vetis (03/03/2014) [-]
BIG SCARY PANDA! RAWR!
#61 to #60 - vetis (03/03/2014) [-]
Wow, that's an ugly panda. Looks like it's in the awkward teenage stage. Lol.
User avatar #57 - HorriblyCrazy (01/02/2014) [-]
i want the d

anny
User avatar #58 to #57 - HailtotheKing (01/02/2014) [-]
I want the v

agina
#50 - electraheart (06/18/2013) [-]
look at this precious baby  uwu
look at this precious baby uwu
User avatar #51 to #50 - HailtotheKing (06/18/2013) [-]
Hair curls .3.
#52 to #51 - electraheart (06/18/2013) [-]
yeehh and thats not all .3.
yeehh and thats not all .3.
User avatar #53 to #52 - HailtotheKing (06/18/2013) [-]
.3. how many of these do you have?
#54 to #53 - electraheart (06/18/2013) [-]
.3. i may or may not have made a mascot folder of her
.3. i may or may not have made a mascot folder of her
User avatar #55 to #54 - HailtotheKing (06/18/2013) [-]
I fully expected you to say that .3.
#56 to #55 - electraheart (06/18/2013) [-]
you know me so well :3
you know me so well :3
#49 - electraheart has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #47 - Furry (01/09/2013) [-]
hi ^^
User avatar #48 to #47 - HailtotheKing (01/09/2013) [-]
Hello :3
User avatar #43 - infernalinsolence (12/28/2012) [-]
“John,” said Sherlock in a lower voice. “I give you my word. I won't touch it again.”
User avatar #41 - freakaleak (09/13/2012) [-]
ouch!
User avatar #42 to #41 - HailtotheKing (09/13/2012) [-]
Sorry! .n. I was just clearing out some of the people I hardly talk to, feel free to re-add me if you want to :)
#32 - marshmallowsammich (01/19/2012) [-]
Hello there :3
Hello there :3
User avatar #33 to #32 - HailtotheKing (01/19/2012) [-]
You know what you should do?
User avatar #35 to #34 - HailtotheKing (01/19/2012) [-]
nuh uh! D:
#36 to #35 - marshmallowsammich (01/19/2012) [-]
Then wat do I do?
Then wat do I do?
#31 - LoLgenerator (09/16/2011) [-]
**LoLgenerator rolled a random image**  
  
  
╔══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╗  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong jewish jew ~ ~ ~  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who did nine eleven ~ ~ ~ ~ ~   
╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╝
**LoLgenerator rolled a random image**


╔══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╗
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong jewish jew ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who did nine eleven ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╝
User avatar #25 - HorriblyCrazy (08/09/2011) [-]
It wouldn't let me respond D:

I'm Destiny.
Yeah, lets go with that :)
User avatar #26 to #25 - HailtotheKing (08/09/2011) [-]
:DD what a beautiful name!
User avatar #27 to #26 - HorriblyCrazy (08/09/2011) [-]
You're just a charmer, aren't you? :3
User avatar #28 to #27 - HailtotheKing (08/09/2011) [-]
nah, its just my nature
User avatar #29 to #28 - HailtotheKing (08/09/2011) [-]
good night destiny, sweet dreams
User avatar #30 to #29 - HorriblyCrazy (08/09/2011) [-]
Goodnight :) Danny
#18 - purrlikeawalrus **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #19 to #18 - HailtotheKing (08/01/2011) [-]
DD: i see.
#23 to #19 - purrlikeawalrus **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #24 to #23 - HailtotheKing (08/03/2011) [-]
-tackle hugs-
#21 to #19 - purrlikeawalrus **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #22 to #21 - HailtotheKing (08/02/2011) [-]
. n . fb?
#20 to #19 - purrlikeawalrus **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#17 - ironpns **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#8 - JustMeagan (02/22/2011) [-]
Why do you want to be my friend? No offense intended.
Why do you want to be my friend? No offense intended.
User avatar #9 to #8 - HailtotheKing (02/22/2011) [-]
no reason, im bored and wanted to make a new friend :P
User avatar #10 to #9 - JustMeagan (02/22/2011) [-]
That kind of sounds rapisty.
User avatar #11 to #10 - HailtotheKing (02/22/2011) [-]
care for some free popcorn and chocolate?
#12 to #11 - JustMeagan (02/22/2011) [-]
Really?! Where?!
User avatar #13 to #12 - HailtotheKing (02/22/2011) [-]
right in my van.
User avatar #15 to #14 - HailtotheKing (02/22/2011) [-]
well fine! i guess ill just give you the free amazingness!
-gives pop corn and chocolate-
User avatar #5 - grimendirt (01/23/2011) [-]
who is this
User avatar #6 to #5 - HailtotheKing (01/23/2011) [-]
no one, someone called you taylor once in a comment so i called you taylor on your page.
User avatar #7 to #6 - grimendirt (01/23/2011) [-]
oh that was the op muh friend.
#2 - sqwishi **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #3 to #2 - HailtotheKing (11/10/2010) [-]
-huggle-
#4 to #3 - sqwishi **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #1 - MaxTheCow (10/03/2010) [-]
FIRST
 Friends (0)