Just buy yourself a jar of pizza sauce or two.
Getting used to baking is the important thing, once you get that down, it's pretty easy to make almost anything.

Dude i have no money
literally no money

You not work?
Jesus, I was working on weekends when I was 13...

no job til summer
parents are strict so i have to get a job, but i wasn't allowed to get one yet

You gon be rollin in dough, soon.

probably just saving most of it so

Except for buying pizza sauce to make pixxa.

pixxa yeah

Saucey pixxa sauxe.
Aww yea.

Oi, bitchtits, I'm 2000 miles away, and I haven't had any internet access for the last month.
I dun wanna hear it.

Well hey fuckface you had internet to write that much
write some more
whatcha been up to

Driving around the idiots of Washington is what I been up to.
People up here are fucking brain damaged, or something.

Why are you up there anyway?
You should visit tiana she lives up there i believe

Because much of the family on my father's side lives up here, and I am trying to help him close the estate of his sister, who died a month ago.

aw man i'm sorry to hear about that
that sucks
anything else new?

Being a "Personal Representative" for someone's estate is a real pain in the ass. Avoid at all costs.

Will do
sounds like shit anyway
i'll stick with being a kid

Yeah, between the driving, the people, and the assloadfuckshittonpile of paperwork I've gone through... I'm about ready to just skin everyone alive...

Be glad you can stick with being a kid for a while longer.

Anything enjoyable up there?

The cool weather.
Only downside is that it rains almost every day up here...
Some of the country is nice, grass is nice, trees are nice....
That's about it.

i like rain though
BE A MAN

I like rain too, but it never RAINS, rains, it only ever lightly showers on and off.
And it never EVER brings thunderstorms.

Oh fuck that shit then

So what's you being up to lately, other than schools?

Uh
boyfriend and a little drawing
fucked up some brownies yesterday
been watching The Office a lot.
Found an anime called Squid Girl that had an insane amount of puns

You're still trying to cook?
Have you managed to get eggs nailed down yet?

Trying
No i fucking hate eggs now those little pieces of shit can go fuck themselves and die in a hole alone

You should try making pizzas and shit, because then you can eat it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and as a snack.
It's nutritious and delicious.

My mom never has enough tomatoes or anything in the house, so can't

Yeppers.

Hue

I very much dislike Mayuri Kurotsuchi and Szayelaporro Granz.

Never heard of those two before.

Aww hell naw.

Dat's wat you get.

you poop :P at least I log off before I fall asleep

No more of my beautiful singing for you, then.

hey I didn't want it in the first place~ that was all squidsey

Well, fine then...

HeT.

More sleep, thank-you.

Maybeh...
Maybeh nawt.

meh..it says I was but it's probably past the 12 hours or whatever..meh. I don't really care..it was just weird

Didn't want you to feel left out.

You can rest easy.
I don't intend to go on a rolling spree again for a long time.

just had this song stuck in my head.

I rolled a lot of people, I rolled jofj 11 times, and xluna 10. I spent nearly 3 hours and rolled nearly 300 time attempting to get AwesomeAnonomous.

I finally attained that goal.

**nowbackatme rolled user euchreplayer ** Can you try an rolled me again?

Good christ no, I've rolled all I care to roll for awhile.

**nowbackatme rolled user azurekite ** did you delete your comment? I couldn't find me... I WILL ROLL YOU

he rolled me to

I have never been rolled :3

neither have i

The ceiling...
How does you?

Purty good
How was your day? :3

Really be 21, like my profile says...

Also, "I don't about your ability to hurt her..." <-- TAHW?

Yeah, my phone sucks like that, lol

I don't doubt your ability to hurt her.
And my suggestion was that you might be able to work as a butcher to try and keep your anger at bay?

Well, that would work, apart from the fact that I sometimes require the sound of a beautiful bloodcurdling scream to go along with it.
Basically, the monster within me, is less concerned with chopping up mean, and more concerned with tearing someone apart, limb by limb, it's even more fun if they put up a fight.

Like this --> [url deleted]

Url deleted :l

Fagmin, you're a fucking nigger-bitch...
http://www. YT . com/watch?v=Tf0zHxT6krs

Didn't you already link that song?

No, not in this conversation, at least.

Well I copy pasted and got the same song o3o

http://www.youtubeDOTMOTHERFUCKINGcom/watch?v=Tf0zHxT6krs&list=UUg_IIYm6GV9RNNBH sIltKiw&index=4&feature=plcp
This video, yes?

Video fucked up :3

Wat? :3

If you know much about Doctor Who, then you know that John Barrowman, who plays Jack Harkness is openly gay. Thus you'll also know that John is a prankster on sets.
Consider what uncle dolan is doing to my youtube links on my own profile page... and you get a gay uncle dolan being a troll.

Yeeeeaaah-no.
I've never seen Doctor Who and never will because I'm too lazy to watch it online. Same goes for anime and manga. I'm way too lazy to look it up on my own time.

I watch it on TV...
BBC America, FTW.
The only anime/manga I watch/read is Bleach.

Damn you and your TV!
I don't have those channels T3T

YOU SHOULD WATCH DOCTOR WHO, it mends ailing cry-babyness, overly excessive dramatical actions, and can even cure anger management issues, all while providing family fun television, and still being clever and intelligent...

I'll try :3

Painful, miserable, agonizing, tedious, sad, boring...
...
...
Why?

Up to something senses, tingling...

Is it so wrong to ask how your day went? I just wanted to know.
Besides, it can't have been that bad.

Seeing as I spend my life working to make people take the farthest path from me as they possibly can, just so that they can be as far away from me as possible... Yes.

And no, it's worse, an eternity of miserable, agonizing, loneliness, filled with the pain and sorrows of the past, unrelenting, always growing, never waning.

Why? Why try to make people run from you? And why are you so miserable? Sure a person can't always explain an emotion or reason behind that emotion, but you must have your own theories...

Because I don't like being around people, they don't help keep my madness in check, and I don't want them to see what true madness is like, as it would be the last thing they see.
As for my misery, I can explain it easily, at least for myself.
[url deleted]
It's quite simple, you see...
It was my choice.
I chose to give up all that made me happy, and kind. In return, I wanted the one I loved to never be sad, ever again. I would cut out my heart, and put it in her hands, if that's what it would take.

Who did you do this for?
And what exactly is your malfunction if you consider yourself mad?

Does it matter WHOM it is, as long as I loved them?
She was my Aerith, if that makes sense to you.
As nearly as I can tell, my very existence... I have been insane for as long as I can remember, so, to the extent of my knowledge, I've been crazy since I was born.
[url deleted]
http://www.youtube. com/watch?v=XzOhu24WNbE
Pissing me off, this highly selective URL deletion shit is.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to anger you. But how would destroying your capacity for emotion make her feel better? Why would your sacrifice of happiness appease her? If anything, you should maintain your emotional health and be there for her as best you can

Just because you can't see something, doesn't mean it isn't there.
[url deleted]
I may not be there when she wants me there, but I will always be there when she needs me the most, anything less, and I risk making her sad, making her cry. When we separated, I may have made her hate me, but it made her disconnect from me, she doesn't know I did all of it out of love, for her happiness.
Because she forgot, I told her many times, I would say to her, "No matter what I may say or do in the future, I will ALWAYS love you, nothing will stop that."

Sorry for the late reply.
But how do you risk making her sad? Isn't that true for anyone once someone develops a connection? Why don't you try to happily be with her and just try to make it work?

Wouldn't it make you sad to find out that the one you loved, suddenly hated you, then you find out years later that they acted like they hated you, because they love you, and wanted you to be happy? That they would endure that kind of despair, just to see you smile?
After so many years, I rather doubt that we could make a relationship work, at this point, I am fully engulfed in raging anger and misery, and I am sure that if I were to see her again, I would snap, and destroy everything I could possibly reach.

I agree, that would be painful.
But why do that? Why hate to make someone smile? Why try to lash out at a person to show your love them? And why, after knowing that they have loved you and wanted you to be happy, would you still hate?

But that's the trick, you see, she still thinks I hate her. I never told her that I ACTED like I hate her, she just thinks that I do. It allows her to justify not loving me anymore, without needing to dwell on the pain.

I understand that. That probably is the only way to keep someone who loves you away. But why? You're both sacrificing happiness for the other and just wallowing in the pain. Unnecessary pain might I add. You believe that she's better off without you, but think.

Is she really better off? Will she really love someone else to the point where she's deluded into thinking that causing you pain will be the only way for you I be happy? I believe that you are a nice person, and were even nicer back when this happened. I believe that you, just as anyone would else, wouldn't like to hurt people were it not for a greater cause. This is probably the first person to make you feel that way isn't it? Don't you think that instead of trying to create a future for someone else would be so much better if they fully enjoyed it?
More so, if you also got as much out of it as they did.

As I stated, the fact that she can take solace in the fact that she believes I hate her, allows her to quickly move on from the pain and sorrow.

Yes she's better off. As I have said in one of my previous posts, I have been insane for as long as I can remember, even before I met her, sometimes, too much of that insanity would break loose, and it would cause her pain, and sadness. For her to see someone so kind, and happy with her, suddenly become so angry and monstrous, it scared her, and it makes her sad, that this person she thought was so perfect, is also so very broken.

[url deleted]
http://www.youtube. com/watch?v=67O2tRPYZCI

It can be endured though. You are not yourself when that happens, and she most know that almost as well, if not just as well, as you do. She can't blame you for something else that controls you. And if she does, then I must say that she isn't worth it.
And how do you know that she is complacent with your hatred of her, how do you know that she might not call your name when she feels helpless and just dream of what she could have with you? You're not a horrible person at all, that must be true. For what kind of person would deceive in order to please?

There's only one small problem with all of that. If I cannot control my far more violent self, what do I do when that side of me crushes her skull in a violent rage?
I'm already strong enough to throw around 200 pounds of weight, at my reduced strength level, what happens when you're really pissed off, on an adrenaline rush, and can't stop yourself, with that kind of strength? TBH, I'd rather not risk finding out. (It may seem like I am making it up, purely for the sake of impressing someone, but I am really not. You can choose to believe me, and continue, or not believe me, and continue, I don't really care what you decide.)

I don't about your ability to hurt her, I just wish I could I help you.

Pardon my asking, but how old are you? (Really just asking because your age plays a big role in a possible solution)

Well fuck, my grammar sucks =_=

I used to be a parent like you...

Then I took a Dalek to the space/time continuum.

i used to be a person like youthen i took a bannana to the asian children

I used to be a spartan like you, then I took 3 tanks and a molotov to the beard.

used to be a captain like you then i went slightly crazy

I used to be a soul reaper like you, then I took a hollow to th-RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[url deleted]

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH sadjim

Wilford Brimley cat watches you masturbate.

good hahaha

this is it

Yeah, that's what daddy likes.

what about htis ?

LOL
I genuinely found that gif funny.

Yeah, but most people aren't sociopaths either.

All of the above.

indeed

In all likelihood, they will not listen to you. Their minds have already been corrupted to the point that they think they are ponies, with telekinetic powers, and can fix the world, if they just say so.

Fucking idiots.
Lulz. Now, I understand their orgasms about how they must "fix" you, since I used to be like that, but really guys, it's his emotions. Stop trying to mess with him. He seems smarter then you guys anyway, at least General can talk somewhat coherently.

I deliver, and I am not anonfagged, like so many would be.
Don't worry I won't delete this either.
www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pic...
I guarantee at least 2 thumbs down, for sure.
Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to go play L4D2, followed up by an ME3 demo round of rape.

Yeah, if you pay close attention to the songs and listen to little details in some of them, patterns in the tempo begin to emerge. It stands out in your first one #228, the piano will suddenly fly off, like it's trying to change the tempo of the entire song. Like it's trying to drag the tempo down the street for candy, the tempo responds in the drum, beginning to add that extra beat every so often, like the person being dragged by the piano can't keep up, and trips up. In #241 it continuously shifts and changes itself, like it's struggling to keep from being held down and bound. #243 feels like it's working to find a pace it likes, like it can't decide whether to sprint, or stomp. #245 makes me think of a little kid who can't sit still in their seat.

Yes, I like FFVII, Cloud's an emobitch, but Zack, Angeal, and Sephiroth are all BAMFs. Genesis is a narcissist, Yuffie is probably like you. Tifa makes me think that she's got a baseball bat stuck up her butt she's so uptight. And Aerith makes me think of my ex-gf too much.
Have you been able to see David Tennant's series yet?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn3...

Your theory is, is that a persons taste in music can show what that is person is like. Or I might be wrong, but it's really interesting that you point that out. Yuffie, interesting, and I have not seen the David Tennant's series, is it good?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=psg...

David Tennant has made Doctor Who what it is today. 90% of the time, when the name Doctor Who is mentioned, the first person thought of is David Tennant.
Here's a clip from episode 185b, "The Family of Blood" www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUX...

This is a clip from the Weeping Angel's introduction to the Doctor Who series, episode 186, "Blink" www.youtube.com/watch?v=sH0... Possibly the scariest TV episode I have ever watched of ANY TV series.

This time, I leave a Bleach AMV for you, enjoy: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uuj...

Oh...! I was thinking you were talking about like a whole other series of shows. Not Doctor Who. ._. Yes, I have seen it go on with David Tennant. It's really good.

You're talking about AMVs? Here's a few of my favorites.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=of-...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ln7...

Noes, was talking about David Tennant's series of Doctor Who.
Christopher Eccleston made the Doctor a badass motherfucker.
David Tennant made him a God, even amongst Gods.
Matt Smith turned him into about the clumsiest mofugga I have ever seen.

Also, yes, the way I hear music allows me to translate subtle similarities in the tempo, which creates a mental picture for me to follow, which translates to a rather specific psychological profile. That, and the way you write, made me think you'd be stubborn, if not high-spirited, I just didn't want to use stubborn because I didn't think you'd like it.
It's okay, I'm genetically wired to be as stubborn as a mule, in case you hadn't already noticed it.

Plenty of cleavage in this first AMV... Makes me wonder if you are trying to see how I will respond psychologically to it.
LOL WUT DID I JUST WATCH? Second one's like Fooly Cooly crossed with Yu Yu Hakusho, FFVII, and DBZ.

Two other things, if the way I am typing right now seems a bit odd, it's because my brain can't decide who to be today, I am stuck between something like Vergil from DMC 3, Ichigo's Hollow, and Angeal from FFVII... Yeah, I'm about to lose my damn mind.
And, if you don't mind my asking, what kind of mental impression do you have of me? Now that you have a better idea of who/what I am. I am curious as to what someone who has never seen me before thinks of me.

Look at me, suddenly being so very talkative. I should really stop before I bore you to death, shouldn't I?

I leave you with this precious gem, this time:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJl...

GAH, I know David Tennant had his whole line up of the show. And I know it went on with Matt Smith, but I prefer Christoper Eccleston over both of em'. And use whatever words you like, I'm no critic. Stubborn does suit me, I'm quite the person for the term.
First video I sent you, was Witchblade one of my favorite animes of all time. Plus the whole thing with their cleavage makes it better. :D Tenjho Tenge, well that anime just made me get so angry at some episodes in the series, but I love it. You think you've lost your mind? Try having your go lock itself in a bathroom and act like a hormonal bitch! I tend to have days like that......
When I think of you...hm..it takes time for you open yourself up a bit, but you tend to shun people who want to help you. You remind me of the song in that first video I showed you at times your like a nujabes song. The first song, powerful and angry, sometimes dark and moody. The second song, you can be peaceful, slightly cooky, but peaceful. Then you can seem like what you might be if you push away some of the vines. And you can type all you want, LOOK AT ME GO. And I can also tell you, you can be a really kind person.I feels it, brother. My take on you might seem strange, but this is the best I could sum you up in my own words.

Here's a song I love.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVI...

Lawl, now I'm no longer sure if you are actually a girl, or whether you are bi / lesbian after what you said about the Witchblade AMV, dat wording.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUt...
Yes, I do think I have lost my mind. It's bad enough that I can't touch anything in someone else's house for fear of breaking anything I touch. However, when you're so pissed off that it takes every ounce of willpower you have to keep from ACTUALLY tearing someone's face off with your own bare hands. Serious damage R us. I bent a tire iron while trying to fix a flat tire on a small pickup. I'm not allowed to flip the fuck out in public, because there's a large possibility that people will die. I can't be getting drunk for the same reason. I know it sounds like something out of a movie, but it is true. Is it any wonder why I am afraid of permanently loosing it, if I let the one thing that once made me human back into my life?
Slightly cocky, eh? That's only the second time I've heard someone say that about me, ever. How curious....
Funnily enough, as I read what you think of me, perhaps it's just me being cocky again, but it made me think of this...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlX...
I am going to attempt to describe you as I think you are.(I like using precise wording, so I choose words very carefully, with great deliberation.)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXL...
I imagine you are a colourful person, and I suspect you like art/drawing. Cheery, and perhaps somewhat goofy or clumsy. But you sometimes get sad, and need something to cheer you up, like fish-fingers and custard. And you love the little things, like the sound of a thunderstorm, or the look of wind through tall grass. Most of all, I imagine you are, as you have confirmed, hard-headed, and don't like people telling you what to do all the time. You're nice enough that you don't mind doing things if people ask, but you probably get aggressive when you think people are trying to force you to do things.

OMFG I ran out of characters to use....
Imma go play a round of L4D2, now.
It's dangerous to be alone, here, take this...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Egm...
...and let the sound of the waves of space and time wash over you, as you fly past galaxies and solar systems.

Alright, trust me. I'm a girl. I know I'm one because I have the lady parts, not the male parts. I'm not sure what I am sexuality wise, but I know I can be attracted to almost anyone. I think it just depends on the individual though. I know how you feel about the whole wanting to rips someones face off, trust me I get the feeling sometimes. Or just the thought of putting a bullet through someones head to solve them from their stupidity. It happens...
Yes, you have a whole cocky air about you, I can see it through you words at times. Then again, being cocky isn't bad it has it's benefits. You can be afraid of change, with the whole being afraid of letting the one thing that makes you human. Trust me on this one thing, you're human. You are. I have this whole thing about when I see people, hatred, anger, happiness, love, and sadness. These things make us whole as a human. You can't do without the other, and you have those. You're a human being. :D Take my advice on that. Annnndddd, You're description on mwah is quite good, but there are a few things missing about me. I can be a cheerful person and I can be the cruelest you meet. I love art, it's great. I also love peaceful music and really, really agressive music. I'm very talkative. I have days where I see the world in flames, and I will wish to be destroyed. I love little kids, but sometimes I hate them. I think of them as little annoying shits sometimes, but somedays I just wanna scoop em' up and give them the biggest hug. I hate being controlled, I hate authority over me, any power over. I'm anti-religious. I don't believe in god, or gods, but I believe there's a reason were here. So I can be an awful person and I can be a great person. Depends on the day, when I get angry, I get really angry. I tend to like to smash things and throw things when I get pissed. This is what I am. But your are close to describing me well.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxW...
This a favorite comic of mine.

Lol, okay, okay, I'll take your word for it.
Unfortunately for me, I'm easily capable of causing serious harm to someone, without the aid of being upset.
Perhaps all the DMC 4 I have played has made me so cocky.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xII...
The way you are talking about how you think I am still human, kinda makes me think you are trying to say this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_L...
ROFL, I just thought, if you were a friend who lived close by, I could piss you off to no end, and you'd have to teach yourself not to hit me. Why, you ask? Because if you did, you'd cause serious bodily harm to yourself long before you would hurt me (cheap shots not included). You'd have to learn to throw books at me, and stuff.
*Very dramatically and sarcastically*
WE'D BE PERFECT FOR ONE ANOTHER!
*End sarcasmic dramaspree*

IDK whether I should believe in God or not, if there is/are such a thing, it/they're assholes for leaving things the way they are in the world. If there is a Heaven and a Hell, it is my choice that I spend eternity in Hell, it's impossible for any such thing as Heaven to exist for me, without the one I loved at my side. If nothing exists beyond this, I would be content to return to the void, where there is no joy, pain, love, sorrow, agony, hatred, there is nothing.

I leave you with another AMV, similar to your last video.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tf0...
Is this aggressive enough for you?

Ah, sorry for the later reply. A tad bit busy, anyway about the whole thing with my anger, I have a an extremely short fuse when it comes to certain things. Some things I can just brush off, but if I get pissed, I get pissed. And I won't stop until you hold me down until I'm calm or knock me out. It's something I've been working on. Religion wise, I think humans are the one factor that makes their lives the way they are. You can make it better, or you can make it worse. I don't believe in some higher power controlling every action, I learned this from a few siblings of mine. How they wake up in the morning, how they talk, how they eat, or whatever they do is controlled by some alimighty god in their mind. I disagree with them a great deal. But then again, I do believe there is a reason in some strange nature about how we're here and we exist. Blame it on all the sci-fi shows I watch, but I think there's, more to things than some higher being like "god". I just think humans need a higher being or a reason to exist like a deighty than to believe we are here to just be here. Then again I might be wrong, but this is what I feel.

Here's a song, I like. :D
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnN...

You and I both be busy bees.
I can remember one day when my ex got really pissed at me, she was furious, she started taking her anger out on me. I just laughed, and hugged her close until she hugged me back.
I don't think anybody has the right to tell others that there is a higher authority out there amongst the stars, whether there actually is one, or not. Not unless they can absolutely prove, without a doubt, that such a being does, in fact, exist. If they can't provide concrete evidence, they're no better than the crazy-haired guy trying to tell us that aliens have been to Earth before, are here now, and will return in the future.
While I do doubt, with our limited knowledge of the universe, that we are the only sentient beings out here, I will not go so far as to say that there MUST be "aliens" amongst other galaxies. It is still very possible that we ARE alone.

It's funny to me how this little conversation of ours started out, looking back at it now. Wouldn't you agree?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oap...
Yes, I like Disturbed, as well.

Well one thing I've noticed with religion, somehow the main majority of practiced religions all connect in some weird way. Anyway, besides the whole topic I'm not a religious person, but to my southern baptist family, I'm the devils spawn. Well that's only to a part of my family, but everyday is a battle with my temper, I feel like I'm going to punch a fucking hole in the wall. I have to wake up with the same scenario every week, I get to be asked why I don't believe in their god.

I've taken my anger out of people, but I've found a source for it all. Running, aggressive music, and violent video games help tame my beast. :D

I am surprised at how long this conversation has gone on, but it's a nice one at that.
Disturbed is not that bad, but I don't listen to them that much though.

Have you ever heard of foamy the squirrel? I just came across the little bugger again after a while on a site I go to.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5B...
This is the video I found, I plan to watch more of it, but I'm a little busy, I watched a video of his a few years ago, but I forgot about him, enjoy.

funnyjunk.com/youtube/16674...
^Check the poster...^
Yes, I have known of Foamy for several years now.
The author used to make weekly comics, but he has moved on from that...
Now he makes a new video every other week.
www.illwillpress.com
A website for you to bookmark, YAAAAAAAAAAAY.

I am guessing you don't prefer Disturbed very much, is because some of their songs incorporate religious themes.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBf...
Here, if life gets too busy, listen to this, a reminder that one must carry on. (In my mind it does, at least.)

I remember watching Foamy back in 05' and 06', but I remember things got pretty bad in my life at the time, so I guess the thought of foamy got lost in everything. But I wish to rewatch any episodes I missed, and I've noticed things have changed around the characters. New squirrels and the way they're drawn is different. And I see 4-y Records is pretty new to me.

The whole thing with religion is kind of odd for me with my family trying to shove it down my throat every second they get, but I've got nothing against Disturbed, I just don't listen to it that much. I don't know why, but I don't dislike it, just eh..it's okay. The whole religious themes don't bother me at all, I just don't like having it thrown at me by family members, I respect anyone's belief.

And I can go on with life just fine, but nice song. I really, really, really like Korn. :D
Always have, always will. I also like how it's remixed. It adds some spice to the mix.

Two songs I like.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR3...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=O00...

I was never really able to find things like TomSka and Foamy until I was 19, as I never really had internet until I was nearly 18. My parents wouldn't approve of my watching things of the sort, but my parents never paid me much heed, anyway.

I wish sometimes I could go back to my old-self, that I could attempt to be "normal", I sometimes forget why I chose this path. Once in a great while, I go back to those days, when I wanted everything to end, and I wonder for what reason I exist, I wonder why I am alive, and I want to die again. Most days are a toss up between a mixture of empty, cold, emotionlessness, and an evil, cruel hilarity. In a visual comparison, Sephiroth and the cartoon Joker.
It's on the days that I remember vividly why I chose the path I did, that are the most painful, as I have intermittent, yet clear visual memories of my time with the one I want to see smile most.
Today has slowly become one of those days...
Don't people get over this stuff soon afterward? Or do most people carry this pain with them for years afterward, like I am?
...I don't understand....

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbj...
And since you like Korn, something you will enjoy:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSJ...

Well my parents have always be caring people and they were pretty easy on me growing up. I had my own space, they had theirs. I also had my siblings trying to be my parents and correct whatever was supposedly wrong with me. So I had it partially easy, I knew they cared though. As much as anybody would love to go back in the past and change their mistakes we can't, that's the sad truth about it. I would love to go back and re-do a lot of things I've done. Yet, you can learn to warm up to yourself again. Whenever you get pissed express it into something, whatever can tame the beast. When you feel sad, do something you wouldn't usually do that cheers you up. You do get past this if you try, just
doing nothing and floundering about in your own sorrow won't help. You've got to cheer up sooner of later or it won't get any better. And it may take some time, but you have to build yourself up with whatever you can. I know you feel like whatever "normal" part of you is gone, but it's not gone. It's there with you, right now. You just have trim away the weeds.

Two songs I enjoy.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjq...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LN...

I was taught all my life that I am never supposed to make mistakes, ever, they are shameful, and should never be spoken of. Unfortunately, I have also only ever been taught that everything I do is wrong, and everything I have ever done is a mistake. I spent my entire childhood trying to do things to make my parents proud of me, I just wanted them to look down at me, and smile. I never had any siblings that could help me. I'm glad there never were, as they might've turned out like me.

I know I could get past all of this if I were to try, but I don't want to get past all of this. Perhaps it sounds strange, but I would rather spend an eternity in agony, in return for the happiness of another, than spend a lifetime in misery, trying to be happy for myself.

I'm going to leave you with three this time:
Similar to your Nujabes songs:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wau...
Related to my post:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7i...
And a little song I listen to now and again:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1Q...

Don't believe that bullshit, we all make our own mistakes. It's in our nature, we're human. I mean
you don't have to be perfect or prove anything to anyone. I mean, I've met people in similar situations like yours and they try to impress the people who gave them life all the time and I guess I can't really agree with it, but I was also raised in a care-free lifestyle. So maybe I don't have much to say about that topic, but you don't impress anyone, I just wish for you to cheer up. Gloominess always turns people away for you, try being open-minded and trying new things. And you know try being selfish for once, it doesn't matter if you want to have everybody else happy, you deserve happiness!

Goldfishlive. :D
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjw...

I send you this song, because it's slightly inspirational in a weird way.

Here's another song.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HC...

Also, for some reason, when I ponder what you are trying to accomplish, I keep getting the mental image of someone looking around in a dark chamber with a candle, looking for something, anything, that gives them hope, that makes them smile and think, "Everything's going to be alright."

Also, if that last song wasn't enough to cheer you up:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ls...
That one ought to do the trick.

If and when the reply limit is reached again, you can just start anew, or do whatever, I don't care what you do.

I don't believe that I am perfect, I couldn't tell you how many hours I've spent contemplating the very meaning of the word perfect. I guess, that between my stubbornness, and having that single idea beat into my mind every day, I'm still going to god damn try to be perfect.
I'm not trying to impress anyone, anymore, I'm not trying to say I'm better than anyone else, I'm just standing up for my personal beliefs, and what I understand to be truth.
I had, at one point, been a silly, goofy person, I liked making everyone around me smile, or make them take a step back to figure out what was going on, the cost of that, was the madness that overwhelmed me, and nearly killed me.
Now I exist with this cloudy gloominess, and I don't mind anymore. It keeps most people away from me. After being bullied and picked on for so many years, it's nice to see people make paths around me, just because they see a shadow.
The others who walk into the shadow, usually understand that this is how I've only ever known myself to be, or are curious enough to want to know, like you.

Maybe, someday, perhaps on the day I cease to exist, I will, just for a moment, be content as I once was, at peace with the world, and on that moment, I will smile once more. For me, the world, everyone, everything. But it is not this moment, it is not now, that is still some time from this moment.

I like this song, it makes me sad, but it makes me happy at the same time:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=NA7...
This song reminds me of before, how I saw myself in the rest of the world; I am curious how you will interpret the song, once you have heard it, and if it will have the same meaning to you, that it does to me:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztB...
Finally, this one, to dissipate the sadness:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCK...