My name is Elmo,

I once was a pedophile, but those days are over.

Now I go behind the Wal-Mart at the end of Sesame Street, and smoke a joint with Big Bird and Cookie Monster.

You know you wish you were me.

I make money by being a hooker, seeing that I am homeless and using Cookie Monster's computer while he's out on dates.
And remember kids, eat your veggies!

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